Blind Reality (14 page)

“Okay, newlyweds, you’ve been in the house a few weeks now, what do you miss the most about the outside world?”

“I actually miss my job,” Millie answers first.

I don’t. I’m happy for the vacation, but am afraid of what my bank account will look like when I’m out of here. I’m going to need to book back-to-back jobs just to catch up. I already have one set up in Alabama starting a week after we finish our press tour. That is going to be a good excuse as to why Joey and I can’t work out once we’re done with the game. We’d never see each other, and she needs a man who is going to worship her and be everything to her that I can’t. I want to kick my own ass for thinking of such a lame ass excuse, but it’s the best I got right now.

“Privacy,” Joey says.

“Starbucks,” Amanda adds.

“What about the guys?” Patrick asks.

“I miss my gym,” I answer.

“My computer,” Gary says.

I want to add his porn channels, but don’t.

We all turn to look at Cole, who is staring at Millie. It confuses me as to why he’s looking at her when the question is about what we all miss from the outside world. Millie whispers something and he smiles. A gesture that pains my heart a little, reminding me that I could have something similar with Joey if I weren’t so damn stubborn.

“I miss the ability to take my wife on a date.”

We can hear the audience members as they all audibly sigh and with one sentence he’s put him and Millie in the lead. He’s smooth; I’ll give him that. And now I need to up my game. I can’t have him stealing votes from my fans. The producers make sure we can hear the audience and their elation.

“Well, Cole, now that you’ve said that I’ll tell you what your next competition is. Newlyweds, tonight is game night. Outside you’ll find three booths, and a trivia board. Up for grabs to the couple who gets the most questions right is: date night! Your competition begins in five minutes.”

I quickly take Joey’s hand in mine and all but drag her to the backyard. She and I need this date night so we can have some privacy to discuss what happened in our room last night. Short of getting into the shower with her—which I don’t think is a very good idea right now—this will be our only option. Our booth is yellow. I hate yellow. My funk needs to change or we’re going to lose this battle.

As soon as we’re all in our respective booths, the questions start. The idea of the game is to be the first to answer, but we won’t know if we’ve got the question right until the end. We have to be fast and efficient. I step in behind Joey and cage her in with my arms. I half expect her to step away from me, but she doesn’t. Yet another reason why she’s perfect. Despite her being on the couch this morning, she’s showing the viewers that we’re solid. But the whole couch thing confuses me and I need to ask her why she was there. Hopefully I didn’t do a dickhead move and kick her out of the bed or something.

“Do want me to read the questions?”

“Yeah, babe, that works.”

Joey turns her head slightly, but doesn’t say anything about my slip and it makes me wonder what else I called her in the heat of the moment. The first question pops up:

What is the Invasion of Normandy also known as?

“D-Day,” I whisper into her ear, not even looking at the options available to us.

What’s the northernmost city in the contiguous United States?

“It has to be in Maine,” I say when the options pop up.

“Are you sure?” she asks, hesitating.

“Positive.”

Joey presses the button and we wait for the next question. The fact that the question is still on the board means that someone hasn’t answered. I want to win, but I don’t. I want to give her a date she’ll never forget, but leaving the sanctuary of the house scares the shit out of me.

In which three cities can you find ‘Sea World’?

This time there isn’t any multiple-choice answer to pick from. Joey looks at me mouthing two of the three, but I’m not sure what the last one is. The clock ticks down as I shake my head. “Just press something because I don’t know.”

Her face falls and I know she’s thinking that we just lost. She wanted to leave the house, too, not that I can blame her.

What does croquis painting mean?

“This is easy,” she says as she presses the button. I don’t have a clue as to what she just answered though.

“What’s the answer?”

“To draw or paint a naked model.” Her answer is so nonchalant that I need to know more.

“How do you know that?”

Joey shrugs. “I may have done some modeling early in college.”

My mouth hangs open, completely dumbfounded by her admission. Joey steps back, getting my attention. Only she doesn’t need to, she has it all. My eyes travel down her back and over her ass as images of her naked filter through my mind. I know I’m not doing her body justice. And damn if I don’t want to try my hand at painting later.

“Do you know this one?” she hisses, shaking me from my daydream. I squint at the screen, even though I don’t need to, and look at the question.

What actor plays Professor Charles Xavier in X-Men?

I press the button for Patrick Stewart and give her a ‘what the hell’ look. “You haven’t seen X-Men?”

She shakes her head. I mean it’s not the end of the world, but most women I know have the movies because of all the “eye-candy” as they call us men. Objectifying us every chance they get.

“Wow, I’m shocked.”

“Don’t be. My ex doesn’t like sci-fi.”

“Yeah well you’re married to me now, aren’t you?” Word vomit is what I’m suffering from. Joey stiffens and I know I’ve set her off again. I need duct-tape for my mouth.

“This is our last question,” she reminds me. At this point I don’t think we have a chance, but whatever.

What does RB stand for in football?

Joey pushes the button so fast I don’t have time to finish reading the question. “Do you think we got that one right?”

“I know we did,” she says confidently. I wish she’d turn around and look at me, but I’m getting the cold shoulder. The very cold one I deserve. Finding a way to fix my mistake isn’t going to be easy. Joey wants what I can’t give her even though I want to. I was never supposed to fall in love with her, or anyone for that matter.

Why’d she have to be so damn perfect?

“Newlyweds, it was close,” Patrick starts. Right now I only want to win so we can have some privacy to talk. We have one more night in the master suite until our competition tomorrow, so I could man up and talk to her tonight. Or I can chicken out and hide downstairs with Gary and Cole until I know she’s asleep.

“You’re all separated by a few seconds. In third, Josh and Joey.”

“Shit,” I mumble. “It had to be that Sea World question.”

Joey nods, not looking at me.

“And tonight’s winner … Cole and Millie!”

“That was rigged,” I say as they jump up and down, while the rest of us clap with little enthusiasm. Joey sidesteps me and goes to congratulate the winners. I tag behind her, with my tail between my legs, and wish them luck. Before Joey can escape, I grab her hand and pull her into the house and up our suite.

“We need to talk about last night,” I say as soon as I shut the door. I look around our room for any evidence that we got a bit freaky, you know with a painting hanging sideways or random contents on the floor. The floor … I look around the bed for the condom wrapper, but don’t see one. Did she clean up after me?

“Josh, we got drunk and played a game. Games like that tend to teach you a little more about your friends.”

“Joey, we had sex. Sex isn’t a game. I took advantage of you, so if you want to hit me or yell at me, I can take it.” I spread my arms out wide and close my eyes. When I don’t feel the pounding on my chest, I peek out of one eye to find her staring at me confusingly. “What?”

Joey’s arms are crossed over her chest and her lip is jutted out. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she’s pissed.

“I don’t want to hit you.”

“Why not?” I ask, knowing full well that I deserve it for taking advantage of her. I know how she feels about me and should’ve never put her in this situation.

“We didn’t have sex.”

“Um … yes we did,” I rebut her claim. She doesn’t have to pretend like it didn’t happen.

“No, we didn’t,” she says matter-of-factly.

I step forward and place my hands on her shoulders. “Joey, we did and I must’ve said something stupid to you because you ended up sleeping on the couch. What can I do to fix this? I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

Her eyebrow rises and there’s a slight smirk creeping across her face. There’s nothing but mystic and danger in her eyes. Whatever she’s thinking, I have a feeling I’m not going to be able to say no.

Joey sets her hands my cheeks. “Joshua, you and I didn’t have sex last night. When I came out of the shower, you were spread out like a five-point star and I couldn’t move you so I slept on the couch.”

“Joey, you don’t have to pretend.” I try to sound confident, self-assured. Maybe she doesn’t remember, or she does and this is her way of telling me it was horrible.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered, but honestly, we didn’t have sex so stop trying to say we did because I’m getting upset.”

Joey starts to step away, but I grab her quickly and pull her back to me. I search for any sign that she’s lying, but I’m unable to tell.

“I’m sorry, what can I do to make it better?”

“Kiss me.”

“Kiss you?” I question.

“Kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me like I’m the only one in the world that makes you smile.” Joey falls back into my arms. “Kiss me like I’m the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.” She’s now chest to chest with me and the sexual tension is heavy. Joey licks her lips and my eyes watch the slow motion of her tongue.

“Ah hell,” I say before pulling her into my arms and crashing my lips against hers. I know we had sex last night, and that’s a game changer. I just have to figure out why she’s so hell bent on telling me we didn’t. Everything with her is now intensified and turning her away from this point on is going to be extremely difficult. Maybe she knows this, or maybe this is just part of her game plan. Either way, I’m screwed. I’m done for. Joey Freaking Wilson officially owns me.

I
n the past two weeks, I want to say that things with Joshua have stilled. That we don’t talk unless the cameras are on. We don’t kiss, touch, or make ridiculous eyes at each other. That would all be a lie. Everything changed after we had sex. While he sometimes initiates contact, he holds back a lot. I don’t know if it’s because he’s unsure and now questioning his feelings or what. What I do know is he makes my knees weak, my stomach flip-flop, and my skin tingle. He gives me a headache, makes my heartbreak, and my imagination plots ways to cause him harm. I want to tell him what he knows, but saying the words out loud to him can only have one reaction—it was a mistake. I’d rather pretend that we didn’t have sex than to hear those words tumble off his lips. There isn’t any amount of kissing or subtle touches that would put my heart back together after that.

I love him, but won’t admit it to anyone or say the words out loud. Saying them out loud makes everything seem real. I can barely admit it to myself on most days because I’m not sure if it’s genuine love, or if it’s the built up infatuation I’ve had with him for so many years. Either way, when he’s in the room my senses are heightened, and after our drunken sexcapades, everything is off the charts crazy.

I finally feel like I fit in with the others in the house. Amanda’s icy cold demeanor has changed to tepid. Not a great improvement, but better than nothing. Once Gary started to physically change, so did her attitude. I have to give him credit; he’s worked out and watched what he’s eaten all to impress her. I’m not sure that’s something I would’ve done for someone, but he’s proven that she’s important to him. Amanda also curbed her wandering eyes for Josh and for that I’m thankful. Now she’s taken to actually eyeing her husband, and I know he appreciates it. Josh says Gary gossips like a high school girl and I told Josh that there are some things I just don’t want to know.

My husband is the one I want to be my everything, my whole world and every other clichéd analogy I can come up with. Every time I think about him and me outside of the house, my heart dies a little bit. Once we’re off this studio lot, I’ll never see him again unless I go completely fangirl and camp out at a premiere for a chance photo from behind the barricade.