Blessed Tragedy (23 page)

Too many beers to count later, I heard a familiar rumble in the distance. As the sound grew louder, I tried to tell myself there was no way it was what I thought, that I was imagining things in my half-drunken state. When the doorbell rang moments after the noise cut abruptly, I knew I was exactly right.

My body tensed and I looked to Garrett in a moment of panic. Regardless of what was reality, appearances told a different story. We weren't cozy on the loveseat on the patio, but we were comfortable sitting next to one another, laughing and brushing against one another casually.

“Trouble in paradise?” He whispered leaning close enough that Mike wouldn't hear him. Luckily, or unluckily depending on your perspective, Matt was on his way to the front door.

“More like the fifth circle of hell,” I replied, sliding myself to the other side of the seat. I wanted to race to the front of the house, burst through the door and shake Colton, asking him what part of 'I don't want you here' was so hard for him to understand, but that would raise too many questions.

“It's for you,” Matt said, returning to the patio alone. “I wasn't sure if you wanted him to see...” his voice trailed off as his eyes skittered between me and Garrett.

“Screw you, Matt. I can be friends with whoever I want.” I stood too quickly, nearly losing my balance. “I'll go talk to him. I don't know why he's even here,” I muttered, sliding the door open.

With a murderous look on my face, I met Colton in the darkness of the foyer. “Did you need something?” I asked bitterly.

“We need to talk,” he said moving closer to me. I dodged his hand as he reached for my arm.

“I'm trying to enjoy some time with my brothers, Colt. What's so important that it couldn't wait?” I pursed my lips, waiting for his feeble response.

“Rain, you're killing me. Can we please go outside and talk?” The pain I'd become accustomed to still veiled his normally piercing blue eyes.

“This really isn't a good time. Why did you come all the way out here? I told you to stay.” I wasn't about to give the man an inch. As soon as I did, he'd find a way to slink his way back into my heart.

“Please, baby. There's never a good time to talk to you. You won't talk around the guys. Now, you won't talk here, where no one can hear--”

His words were cut off by the scraping of the sliding door opening. His eyes grew wide in recognition before they filled with anger and loathing. “Guess I know why you didn't want me here,” he said through clenched teeth. “So much for nothing going on, huh?”

“Fuck you, it's not like that,” I barked louder than I wanted. Garrett was out of sight but I figured he was still close enough to hear every word echoing through the open space. “I told you before, he's a friend. That's it.”

“Yeah, a friend who you're here drinking with. A friend you went out with several times the last time you were here. A friend you've admitted had feelings for you.”

I stared at Colton trying to find the words to answer his subtle accusations. I shook my head, “And you really wonder why things didn't work? He's. A. Friend. Take a look at my life. The closest thing I have to a female friend is Angie and I barely know her. I get along better with guys. Whether you like it or not, that's a fact of life.”

“I should go,” he said, the anger seeping out of his pores.

I reached for his hand. Whether or not I wanted him here, there was no way I was going to let him drive back this late. “Come on. Have a beer with us. Who knows, you might even realize he's not a threat to you.” I put my hands on Colton's shoulders so I could look into his eyes. “You need to realize the only threat to us right now is you. You've known me long enough to know I don't do jealousy.”

His shoulders slumped forward. “You're right. But you've known me long enough to know I don't do girlfriends. You need to cut me a little slack here.”

I shook my head, “No, I can't do that. But let's not talk about that tonight. It'd be an understatement to say I've had too much to drink for heavy discussions.”

Colton made his way to the patio while I detoured to the restroom. Garrett was coming out of the room as I made my way through the dim hallway.

“Everything okay out there?” He asked, sincerely concerned.

“It might be some day.” I shrugged. “But do me a favor?”

“Anything, you know that.”

I gave Garrett the abbreviated version of everything that had happened the night we'd talked on the phone, leaving out a few of the worst comments. Once he'd calmed down a bit, I asked him to give me some space so the night wouldn't be any more strained than it was already going to be.

“This isn't like you,” he said almost imperceptibly shaking his head. “But if it's what you need, I'll do it.”

Although he said he didn't have a problem with my request, it took all of twenty minutes before Garrett was excusing himself with mumblings about work to do in the morning. Soon after, Matt stood to leave, promising to stop by after work. Mike sat, glassy eyed, in the chair across from us apparently deep in thought.

“Why did I drive six hours today if he was going to come out here?”

“Because she's pissed at me,” Colton blurted without pause. I could have killed him. Nothing like sticking my brother directly in the crossfire of our issues.

Mike laughed. “What did you do?” I wanted to stop the train wreck before my eyes, knowing there was little that could turn the night around at this point.

“Well...” Colton paused taking a long draw off his beer. “Don't get me wrong, she has every right to be upset, but damn Mike, your sister holds a grudge better than just about anyone I know.”

As if I wasn't sitting there, my brother and my ex-boyfriend were bonding over my less than admirable personality traits. After they had time to dissect my need to hold onto my anger, I'd had enough, “Hey, remember me?” I bellowed. “I'm right fucking here. And Mike, you don't want to know
why
I'm pissed at him.”

Both of their heads turned in my direction, eager to hear what I had to say next. “He seems to think I'm screwing Dietrich. He thought that tonight, too. Oh, but not just Garrett, he accused me of fucking Jon too.”

Colton grabbed my arm, pulling me back to the couch as I tried to flee. “I was fucking drunk, Rain. How many times do I have to apologize? I was a jealous, miserable prick. I was wrong. I'm sorry.” He looked to Mike, silently pleading for him to intervene and tell me I was being unreasonable.

“Yeah, and most drunks I know are their most honest with a little bit of liquid courage.”

Mike sat back in his chair, savoring his beer with live entertainment. His eyes flitted back and forth as though he was watching a tennis match as Colton and I went over the same bullet points we'd covered every time we fought since that fateful night.

“Okay, you two,” Mike finally interrupted. “Colton, my sister is drunk now. So, given the fact that your problems all started because one of you shot off while under the influence, I think it's time to table this conversation. Why don't you come to my place for the night and you two can talk tomorrow. If I have to, I'll sit here and mediate because you're both in the wrong.”

I stared at Mike, my eyes ready to bulge out of my head.
I
was wrong? How in the hell was I wrong?

“No, he can stay here,” I said. It was totally the wrong thing to want, but I missed sleeping wrapped in his warmth.

My brother hugged me tight against his chest. “You'll thank me for this tomorrow,” he whispered to me before letting me go.

I blew out a sharp breath. “Whatever. I'm going to bed.” I turned to Colton, “I guess I'll talk to you tomorrow. Leave the bike here.” In the short time since he'd arrived, he sucked back four beers, just enough that I wasn't about to let him leave on his bike. No matter what signals my conflicted mind sent me, I didn't want to see him hurt by delayed reaction times or bad judgment.

“I'm fine,” he argued.

“Should I call Jon?” Yes, it sounded like I was getting ready to tattle on him but I knew Jon would talk some sense into him. Jon's brother had dumped his motorcycle before I was even in the band and had never recovered his short term memory. No way would he think Colt was in any shape to drive.

“Whatever.” As he stepped through the door, he turned back to me, “Might want to be careful, people might start to think you care.”

“Goodnight, Colton.”

Chapter Nineteen

Over the next two days, Colton and I spent some time together trying to repair our friendship. No matter how many times he pleaded, I was still unwilling to consider anything more with him. At least I wouldn't let him know there was a part of my heart crashing in on itself, begging to give him another chance. There'd been too many hurtful words for me to let him back in.

Colt even suggested that we get together with Garrett so he could get to know the man at the epicenter of our turmoil. To ease the tension, I invited my brothers over to the house for another barbecue, knowing, or at least hoping, they were both mature enough to not start anything in front of my family.

I ducked out relatively early in the night, knowing it would be easier for two of my closest friends to speak freely if I wasn't around.

A sliver of light broke the darkness in my bedroom as I drifted to sleep. I turned to see Colton and Garrett both standing at my door.

“Can we come in?” Colton asked softly. I chuckled at the thought of my dad walking out of his bedroom to see not one, but two grown men asking to come into my bedroom in the middle of the night. Even though it'd never happen, there was something intensely hot about the image brewing in my mind.

“Yeah,” I sighed, my throat and mouth as dry as the Sahara.

I sat up as the mattress bowed under the weight of my two best friends. “I just wanted to say goodnight and see if you still wanted me to come tomorrow,” Garrett said, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Yeah, as long as that asshole isn't going to do something that'll get him arrested if you're there.” I narrowed my eyes at Colton, not that he could see them.

“We're cool. I'd like him to be there, he's obviously a good friend to put up with your shit as long as he has.” Colton slid further back on the mattress, his hand softly rubbing my calf. It was an intimate move; one that I wasn't fully comfortable with but didn't want to stop.

“Okay, well I think we're leaving here by about seven. If you're riding with my brothers, be here then.” I shifted so I was kneeling next to Garrett, “Thanks for setting him straight.” I pecked his cheek, watching for any sign of jealousy from Colton. There was none.

We sat in silence until the front door closed behind Garrett. “You want me to crash in the rec room?” Colton asked, not waiting for an answer before getting off the bed.

“Depends.”

He turned on his heel to look at me. “On?”

“Can you keep your hands to yourself?” I wanted to feel him next to me. Eventually, if one of us met someone, we'd have to learn to sleep alone. Luckily, we were both painfully single.

“I'll give you a ninety-two percent guarantee.”

I stifled a laugh at the random percentage. “Not good enough. If I remind you that my dad is two doors down what percentage do I get?”

“Three hundred and fifty percent. I like my balls too much.”

Colton flopped onto the bed and I leaned against his chest. “I miss you,” I whispered. There was no scent in the world better than fresh water cologne and Colton – unless you added in leather. That was the true trifecta.

“I miss you too.” He softly kissed the crown of my head. I didn't pull away this time. “I miss you so much. I meant it when I said you're killing me.”

My hand grazed Colton's side, my mind flooded with memories of our nights spent together before everything went to shit. “We might be okay. Someday.”

“I'll take someday.” He gently lifted me, shifting our heads to the pillows. “I'll take whatever I can get with you.” After brushing his lips against mine, he pushed my shoulder urging me onto my side.

When the sun started peeking through my bedroom window, we were still curled into each other, our fingers interlaced across my stomach. I couldn't deny how good it felt to be in his arms and that scared the hell out of me.

“Come on, Moo, you guys are going to be late if we don't go,” Mike yelled up the stairs. A pit grew in my stomach, remembering back to the last time he had hollered up the stairs for me to hurry. The first time they'd seen me perform, the first family outing without my mom.

“You okay?” Colton asked, dropping a chaste kiss on my shoulder.

“Yep, let's get outta here. You bring my gear?” It had been more than three weeks since I'd been on the back of Colton's motorcycle and I needed the serenity that came from feeling the horsepower beneath me.

“It's all in there, right where it belongs.” Colton picked up my duffle bag and motioned for me to lead the way outside. I smiled once I passed him. There was something comforting in his statement that my things
belonged
with him. It wasn't said in a possessive or domineering way. It was a simple testament to our fucked up relationship.

The day was perfect for a long ride on the bike. The sun was shining without any stifling heat; the winds were calm and traffic light. I quickly found myself hypnotized by the rumble of the engine and gentle vibrations.

By the time we pulled down the gravel drive at Comstock, I had myself convinced that everything would work out one way or the other. Jon and Travis stopped in their tracks to see if their eyes were deceiving them as we pulled to a stop behind the bus.

“So, I'm assuming you kissed and made up?” Jon asked, shaking his head. I could only imagine what our issues were doing to everyone around us and had to imagine he felt a measure of relief seeing us together. At least I hoped he did.

“Well, she's not threatening to castrate me, so I guess that's a start,” Colton laughed.

“Good. I think we'll all breathe a little easier now that your balls are safe.” Travis still seemed guarded when he looked at me. His was the one friendship I doubted would ever be the same as it had once been.