Blackness Within (48 page)

O’Sullivan

She doesn’t want to have sex. I’m okay with that. She just gave me so much more than I thought I’d get from her tonight. I won’t push for more. I’ll wait until she’s ready for the next step.

“It’s okay,” I soothe her. “We can just hold each other.”

“What?” she screeches.

I furrow my brow at her reaction and smooth a stray hair from her forehead.

“I’m okay with stopping, Grey. I’ll never pressure you to go further. We can stop here and I’ll fall asleep with you in my arms as the happiest man on Earth.”

“I don’t wanna stop, Sully,” Natasha whispers and diverts her gaze from mine.

I settle myself between her legs again and force her to meet my eyes with a finger under her chin. Her eyes are sad when they meet mine. I don’t want her to be sad another day in her life. I’ll give her whatever she needs to make the haunted look on her face go away.

“He was trying to get me pregnant,” she mumbles and I go rigid.

My hand next to her head forms a painful fist as my hand at the edge of her face shakes. My breathing comes in rage-filled bursts from my nose and my shoulders set in a hard line, preparing for a fight I’m not going to get.

Panic streaks across her face at my reaction.

“He didn’t,” she states ardently. “It didn’t work. But he was…well…you know…we weren’t…he didn’t,” she huffs unable to say the words.

“It’s okay, Grey. You can tell me anything. I might get fuckin’ pissed. But not at you. I’m not mad at you. Okay?” I speak as nicely as I can, trying to calm my woman down. Myself too, I suppose.

She clears her throat and drops her gaze from mine again.

“Don’t do that, though. Don’t be ashamed. Don’t turn away from me, Grey. I’m here. I’m present. And nothin’ you say is gonna change that.”

She sighs but complies with my request, turning her eyes back to mine.

“He obviously wasn’t using a condom. He’s there within me. A fuckin’ blackness within me that I can’t rid myself of. Will you? Could you not?” she struggles to finish her request.

“You don’t want me to use a condom,” I say for her.

“I’m clean. Shit. I was tested immediately when I got back. I’m completely clean. And I’m on the pill. I wouldn’t ask you if I wasn’t. I’m sorry I’m asking at all,” she mutters sheepishly.

“Don’t do that either. Don’t apologize for askin’ me for what you need,” I demand in a gentle tone. “I’m clean too.”

Her eyes get wide at my admission. I’m a whore, but a smart one. No, I was a whore. Now I’m a one-woman man.

I settle further between her legs and cup her face in my hands.

“I love you, Grey.”

“I love you,” she says through a small smile.

I take one hand away from her face and use it to palm my very excited dick. Skin to skin contact is a first for him.

I slide back and forth through her folds, gathering her wetness before pushing the head in.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

I inch forward until she can’t fit anymore of my length within her. Then I take a deep breath and pretend I’m not about to blow my load.

“I want all of you,” Natasha whispers before she drops her legs wide and urges me forward with her hands on my ass.

I ease into her and finally stop when I’m balls deep. I’m not going to make it more than two minutes. No fucking way.

I take her mouth in a hot fervent kiss and start to rock into her. She’s tight as hell. She’s squeezing and pulling at my dick with her walls as I increase the length of my thrusts.

When she sucks my tongue and raises her hips to meet mine on my latest thrust, I lose all control I was clinging to.

I power forward, driving her toward the headboard with each stroke. Her nails score my back as I drop my face to her neck and bite harder than I should, suckling and kissing the mark I’ve just left.

Her hands leave my back and push off the wooden headboard to keep herself from moving any further. I drop my head lower and capture a nipple in my mouth as I wrap my fingers around hers and settle our hands next to her head.

My hips continue to surge forward, diving in with intensity.

I switch tits and she squeezes my fingers tightly. Her pussy clamps down as her legs shake before she wraps them around my waist. I pick up my speed and leave her nipple in favor of her succulent mouth.

My tongue mimics my cock as I stroke her soaking folds. Then I swallow the cries of ecstasy as her orgasm quakes through her frame. She gets so tight as she comes, I can barely move within her.

As her orgasm fades, I begin to pound into her again. I drop my head to her neck as I work her pussy into a frenzy of orgasmic disorder. I thrust deeply, holding her hands the entire time. Intimately experiencing sex for the first time in my life. I kiss and worship her body as sweat pours down my tattooed shoulders, loving the exertion I’m using with the woman I love.

I’m making love to a woman for the first time and I relish how much better it feels than any random fuck I’ve ever had. Her shrieking wails as she orgasms, her moans and mewls of passion as they build, her cussing to herself as the pleasure I’m giving her overwhelms all thought, brings me more satisfaction than her body beneath mine, accepting me willingly.

Natasha’s limbs begin to go limp after an hour of me inside her and I know she’s done.

“One more,” I whisper against her lips.

I reach one hand between us and tweak her clit as my other holds her hand and she clings to mine. Her hips rock forward and I thrust deeply. I rest my forehead against hers to watch her final orgasm of the wee hours as the sun begins to sneak up at the horizon.

Her grey eyes gaze into mine as her free hand caresses my cheek. She loves me. And I love her.

I power forward a few more times and rub her sensitive clit until she clenches down on me and I come with a ferocious growl of sublime release. Her eyes flare with disbelief as I continue to empty myself in her. Beautiful. Flushed cheeks, sweaty brow, messy platinum hair, swollen lips and she’s all mine.

I roar once more and bury myself to the hilt, spurting the last of my come deep within her before crashing my mouth to hers. Her hand holds the nape of my neck and the other constricts around my fingers as our breathing calms, our kiss slowing until it stops.

When I pull away from her mouth, I find her eyes leaking tears. Not good.

I release her hand and use my thumbs to swipe them away before using my lips to kiss them from her salty sweet skin.

“Don’t cry, Grey,” I plead against her face.

“Sully, that was…I’ve never…what you just gave me,” she stumbles and struggles.

I look into her eyes and try to soothe her with my gaze.

“Thank you for loving me like that,” she breathes out shakily.

“Always,” I respond.

Always.

Natasha

Nirvana. Cloud nine. Heaven. Ecstasy. Whatever it’s called I’m there. I’m tingling on every surface of my skin and glowing from every cell within my body.

That was the best experience of my life. It wasn’t just sex. It wasn’t finally admitting that I love Sully. It wasn’t orgasms that should be written in books. It was a meeting of souls.

Nothing has ever been that intense, that consuming. What I had with Roman is nothing compared to what I just shared with Sully. I feel worshipped and adored in a way I didn’t know was possible.

I feel happy.

“Be right back,” Sully purrs against my mouth before kissing my raw lips softly.

Then his massive, powerful and very naked body rises from the bed. I watch his tattooed shoulders stride away and settle on the clover dotting the
i
of his last name. The sight of it on his sweat glistening back brings a smile to my lips.

He’s a good man.

A man that loves me.

That was a shock. Well, this whole night has been a shock.

Dinner with Brent was nice, but I didn’t feel that burning need to be with him. We laughed and reminisced, but at the end of the night, I didn’t want to kiss him. I wanted to be gazing up at chocolate eyes, not soft green ones.

I’ve fought my feelings for Sully for so long; it had just become my go to reaction. He was working his way in so deep though. Then he leveled me when I walked in the apartment and I lost the will to fight him. How can I fight against him when he’s offering me everything?

When he told me how he felt, how he’d waited for me. I caved. I let go of all my fear and decided to take a risk with my battered heart. I’m so glad I did. What we just shared has eliminated any fears I had about him.

He didn’t fuck me. He didn’t ravage me and make me come like something out of a porn movie. He savored every inch on me. He washed away anything lingering that wasn’t him. He gave me everything I asked for and everything I didn’t know I needed. He saved me. Again.

“That crinkled nose is gonna be the death of me,” Sully groans as he saunters in the room holding a washcloth.

“You have a thing for crinkled noses?” I tease as he settles on the edge of the bed.

“I have a thing for your crinkled nose, Grey,” he responds sweetly and then brings the warm cloth between my legs.

He’s tender with my sensitive flesh as he cleans me. I keep my eyes locked on his as he concentrates on the job at hand. The chocolate of his eyes seems creamier now. There’s a lightness to him that I haven’t seen before. I gave him that.

When he laid his heart on the line, I saw the fear in his face. The unknown terrifying the strong powerful man. But he was willing to do that for me. To show me he wasn’t the man that ran me off in January. He’s still that man. He’s just a better version of that man. I know a woman can’t change the stripes and all that. But I believe him when he says he loves me and won’t hurt me. I trust him with my heart.

“You’re thinkin’ pretty hard,” he points out as he finishes between my legs and lays the washcloth over the edge of my desk chair.

“It’s been a crazy day,” I mutter.

Sully pulls down my pale green paisley printed duvet and I scoot up to crawl under as he slides in. He settles on his back and scoops my body to his side. I swing a leg over his and rest my head on his sculpted chest, releasing a contented sigh.

“Tell me about your day,” Sully mumbles into my hair as his hand brushes up and down my spine.

“I had a rough morning after a strange non-date with this guy I really liked. I was a bitch to my brother for no reason. Then I went to a baseball game of a guy I had an awful date with in high school. Got kissed on national television. I went on a date with the high school guy and got a very kind apology from him for his dickish ways back in the day. Then I came home and was blindsided by the man that I’ve spent three years trying to resist. Only to discover we love each and have the most amazing sex known to man. It was quite the day.”

“You’re probably worn out,” Sully says with a chuckle.

“Exhausted,” I reply through a yawn.

“No more dates with Brent McAllister, Grey,” he orders softly, tipping my face up to meet his gaze. “I’m glad you got your long overdue apology, but you’re mine and I don’t want him thinkin’ he can kiss you anymore.”

“We have a date on Wednesday,” I mutter sleepily as his hand on my back stills and his brow knits together tightly. “I’ll call and cancel once I can form coherent words.”

My eyes drift shut as Sully returns to stroking my skin. This is what true intimacy is. Not the forced intimacy I had with Roman where I feared what would happen every moment to the next. I’m cocooned in love and safety within Sully’s embrace.

“Love you, Grey,” he states tenderly.

“Love you, Sully,” I return and then let sleep pull me into a dream that mirrors reality. Because in this moment I’m living the dream. My dream come true.

The front door slams and I rouse a little from a deep contented sleep. Sully’s arms constrict around my waist from behind as I wiggle further into him.

“It reeks of sex in here!” Blake shouts from the living room and I laugh.

Sully snorts along with me.

“This is gross, Tosh,” Blake whines from my doorway. “I’m gonna puke. You’re in that bed naked and I know what you’ve been doin’ ’cause the apartment smells like a brothel. Did you do it in the living room? In the kitchen? I need to know where it’s safe to touch and what needs to be bleached.”