Black (Clashing Colors Book 1) (20 page)

His eyes widened. “You would?”

“Yes.”

He swallowed hard. “Fuck…”

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t really change anything. It’s all hypothetical anyway.” I put down the Coke and turned my back on him, stepping over to the balcony door to look out at the stunning view. But Gabriel wasn’t done with this conversation and moved up behind me. His closeness made me hold my breath.

“Cia.”

“Uh-huh.” I stood quietly, hugging myself, feeling out of my comfort zone, and hoping that our admissions wouldn’t make things awkward between us.

“What if I told you I want you?” His voice was low and raw and I could feel his warm breath on my neck.

His closeness and the dirty images his words inspired in my mind made me close my eyes and take a deep intake of air.

“Cia.” He turned me around. “Look at me.” 

When I opened my eyes, his gaze was boring into mine, asking questions I couldn’t answer out loud.

“Tell me you want me too?” he murmured in a hoarse voice.

Swallowing hard, and focusing on my breathing was all I could do before he leaned in to kiss me, and with the touch of his lips, answers came pouring out in an instant.
Yes,
I wanted him too.

I’ve seen movies with people kissing greedily and sloppily and I’ve always found that repulsive, but the way Gabriel kissed me was nothing like that. It wasn’t intrusive or aggressive but more prodding and testing, as if he understood that this was new territory for me. I grew bolder and our kisses became more passionate, but I was still so focused on the strange sensation of his tongue in my mouth that I almost didn’t notice him backing me into his bedroom.

Only when he pushed me softly down on his bed and started to undress me did it fully register where we were headed. What if Gabriel wanted to go all the way?

The room was brightly lit with sunlight shining through the large window, and a shyness crept up on me when he removed my bra.

“What’s wrong?” he asked when I covered my chest.

“Nothing, it’s just…” I trailed off, painfully aware that Gabriel’s ex-girlfriend had been a lingerie model, and that he had always been popular with women. How could I even begin to measure up to the women from his past?

“You are beautiful, Cia.” His eyes shone with sincerity and he lowered his head to kiss my belly button and unzip my pants.

“I know what you want,” I burst out. “I mean, I want it too... but…” My face heated up with the mortification I felt inside.
God, I am such a loser.

“But what?” he asked with a confused expression on his handsome face.

Unable to express my thoughts, I looked away.

Gabriel moved up to stroke my hair and kiss me again. “What is it? Are you afraid I’ll do something unpleasant to you, like that Dennis guy?”

I shook my head. I hadn’t even thought of Dennis before he brought him up.

“You trust me, right?” G asked softly.

“Yes.”

“Then what is it?” he asked and placed a kiss on my naked shoulder.

“I don’t think I’ll be very good at it,” I said almost inaudibly.

“What?” Gabriel asked and lifted my face with a hand under my chin. “What did you say, sweetie?”

“I don’t think you’ll like it.”

A smile reached his gorgeous brown eyes. “You don’t think I’ll like being with you?”

His smile made me feel stupid; it wasn’t funny at all. This was a big mistake and I wanted to get up and leave. What was I thinking? Making out with Gabriel would just make things awkward between us. A long time ago, I had attempted to make out with Daniel and it had been a complete failure, with me closing down and lying as passively as a stiff board.

“I’m not good with intimacy,” I explained and pushed away from him. 

“Don’t do that.” He reached out for me. “You’re just scared, babe, but don’t believe for one second that you’re no good at intimacy. You’re talking to the man who woke up completely entangled with you every morning for two weeks, remember?

“That was different.”

“How so?”

“Because it wasn’t anything sexual. I’m not a very sexual person,” I suggested.

“Really?” He arched a brow. “And what are you basing that assumption on?”

“I’m not interested in sex and I just don’t get turned on easily.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.” It wasn’t a complete lie. I was twenty-one and only two guys had ever gotten close enough to kiss me, and Gabriel was the only man to evoke real desire in me. Typical, that my thoughts of inferiority would pop up at the most inopportune moment and crush the fire that had been burning between us a few moments ago.

“I can turn you on,” Gabriel claimed. “If you give me a chance.”

“Trust me, you’re not missing out on anything. Daniel once tried, and I sucked at it.” I was trying to put my bra back on, and it gave me an excuse to avoid looking at him.

“I’m not Daniel.” His hard tone made me lift my gaze. “And I don’t want to hear about you being with other men when I’m standing here with a raging boner and you’re pulling away from me.”

“It’s not you. Don’t you get it? It’s me!” I exclaimed forcefully. “There’s something wrong with me, you should know by now how fucked-up I am.”

Gabriel was deeply frustrated; it radiated from him. “Why won’t you at least give me a chance to prove to you that I can make this pleasant for you?”

"I’m sorry. But I just can’t.”

“You mean you won’t,” he said and turned on his heel.

Two minutes later I heard the TV in the living room and picked up my courage to walk in and sit down next to him.
American Ninja Warriors
was on, and one after one, brave men competed for the title by pushing themselves to the limit through some insane obstacles.

“Ouch,” I said with a grimace when one of the guys took a nasty fall. “How come there are no women competing?” I asked. 

“There are a few, but in general women aren’t strong enough.”

We watched another handful of fit guys struggle, and only one of them made it all the way through.

“Finally… a woman,” I said when a short woman came on the screen looking super fit. “I bet she can do it.”

“No way,” Gabriel snorted. “She’s too short.”

“Wanna bet?”

He smirked. “What do you wanna bet?”

“The loser has to cook for a week,” I suggested.

“I have a better suggestion.” He moved forward and gave me a challenging stare. “A massage. The price should be a massage.”

“You mean like a back rub?”

He shrugged. “Make up your mind… she’s about to start.”

My eyes were glued to the screen as the tiny woman rolled her shoulders and prepared to start racing.

“Okay, I’m in,” I said and sat on the edge of my seat holding my breath and cheering on the inside for this female Ninja Warrior who was completely focused as she jumped, climbed, and pulled herself through monstrous obstacles to prove to herself and the world that women can do this too.

“You got this,” I called out loud when she moved back to maximize the runway and get enough speed to run up a steeply curving wall that was sixteen feet high.

“There’s no way she can do that,” Gabriel said, and unfortunately he was right.

While the audience applauded the woman for trying her best I turned to look at Gabriel, who was watching me with a smug smile on his face.

“Okay… you win. So where do you want your massage?” I asked.

I got my answer when he got up and moved into his bedroom, stripping out of his shirt on the way.

“Do you have some lotion?” I asked.

Without talking he found lotion and pointed to the bed. “Lie down.”

“Why?… I lost, so I’m giving you the massage,” I said.

“I never said I wanted a massage if I won.”

“You said the price was a massage.”

He nodded. “In my case, I prefer to give it, so for the next hour, you will allow me to massage you.”

CHAPTER 16

Pleasure

Cia

“But…”

“A bet is a bet.”

I didn’t feel too good about this. With what had just happened between us, I was a bit on edge and unsure of what Gabriel’s agenda was.

“What kind of massage are we talking about?”

Gabriel moved closer and kissed me. “The kind you only get from your boyfriend.”

I stiffened, and in response he pulled me close and spoke into my ear.

“I know you’re frightened, but I’m asking you to trust me. Can you do that?”

My eyes were closed and my breathing shallow. “Okay, I’ll try.” This was like standing on a cliff, wanting to jump into the inviting blue water beneath, but feeling scared shitless. Gabriel was that annoying friend that pushed you from behind, and I wasn’t sure yet if I should hate him or thank him for it.

“It’s easier if you take your clothes off,” he said and went to put on some nice music.

I undressed but kept my panties on and made sure to lie on my belly.

To my surprise Gabriel started talking about the TV show while rubbing my neck, shoulders, and back. It didn’t feel sexual and I started to relax more. Maybe I had misjudged the situation.

His hands were strong and the way he braided his fingers into mine and made sure to stretch my palms was extremely nice. 

Gabriel seemed completely at ease as he moved around in his pants only. I think he did it on purpose to taunt me, knowing that his trim torso would affect me. Of course I could have told him that the thing that got under my skin was his aroma. After crying in his arms during therapy, his smell was familiar and reminded me of comfort and care. I loved the smell of Gabriel.

“Turn over,” he said after twenty minutes of massaging me.

I slowly rolled onto my back. The lovely music, his touch, his masculine fragrance, and his calming voice had relaxed me to the point where I wasn’t as guarded as before. Besides, this was completely different, as I wasn’t competing with any of his ex-girlfriends like I had before. There was no way for me to suck at getting a massage, because everyone knows that there is nothing else to do except lie still and relax.

Gabriel was moving up my legs, massaging my thighs with long strokes, and I noticed that he kept getting closer and closer to my private parts. The tingling sensation I’d been feeling during the last ten minutes increased, and when he put pressure on the insides of my legs they started spreading for him.

I didn’t fight it.

Not even when his strokes started centering more and more around my pelvis and down to the vee of my thighs.

“You’ve got the cutest belly button,” he said and placed an innocent kiss on it. It made me smile.

“Thanks.” 

His hands moved down and spread my legs wider.

“What are you doing?” I asked, lifting my head to look at him.

“Just relax. I promise I won’t hurt you.”

There was a moment when my heart forgot to beat while he grasped both sides of my panties and slowly pulled them off me while stubbornly keeping eye contact. “I won the bet, remember,” he reminded me. Since I couldn’t argue with that, and my whole body was vibrating with a tingling sensation, I simply took a deep breath and closed my eyes again.

“If you could only see what I see…” he muttered in a raspy voice and then I felt the strangest sensation. It was like a warm breeze hitting my most sensitive spot, but what followed made me jerk. It had to be his tongue, because nothing I had ever done to myself had felt remotely like this. All my nerve endings were on fire from his strong fingers knitting into my inner thighs and his tongue licking up the center of my folds.

I moaned and arched my back; it was the most incredible body sensation I’d ever experienced – I honestly had no idea oral sex would feel like this.

Gabriel groaned and circled his tongue around my clit, which made me gasp out loud.

“Gabriel,” I exclaimed in a breathy voice. It sounded like a plea, but even I didn’t know if I was pleading with him to stop or continue.

My hands were grasping the bedspread and I cried out in pleasure when he kept licking and teasing. It was like he was determined to explore every inch of my pussy, and it felt amazing. 

Helpless whimpers and deep moans erupted from me when his strong hands kept me in place and spread my legs wider.

“You taste like fucking candy,” he groaned, and took another long lick as if I was his favorite lollipop. 

“Gabriel,” I repeated in a sharp cry that was my best way to communicate the overwhelming sensation I was feeling. “More,” I moaned.

The vibrations from his low chuckle against my clit made muscles in my belly contract and my legs shiver. I was getting close to coming and even though I had masturbated in the past, this was completely different.

“You want more? But you said you’re not interested in sex.” He chuckled again.

His words didn’t register with me in my orgasmic state. I was so close to the edge that I shamelessly grabbed hold of his hair and pressed his head against me, wanting him to shut up and bring me to heaven.

He did.

In my case heaven felt like jolts of electricity making my inner walls cramp, and my toes curl. It lasted less than three seconds, but it was better than any Oxy pill I’d ever taken, and as soon as it was over I pushed him away, my clit too sensitive to be touched.

Out of breath, and overwhelmed by my first orgasm with a man, I was staring up into the ceiling unable to form a coherent thought.

“I love how responsive you are to me, sugar,” Gabriel said and nipped at my inner thighs.

“Best massage in the history of mankind,” I sighed.

“But we’re only getting started.” He winked.

The best way to describe my state would be the word ”bliss.” Our earlier discussion was forgotten. If this was how sex felt, then I was all in.

Gabriel moved up to kiss me, and the taste of myself on him was dirty and forbidden.

“Is that how I taste?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said into my mouth… “More addictive than chocolate.”     

I wouldn’t say that… to me, it tasted strange but not unpleasant.

“And you, how do you taste?” I asked.

His lip lifted in a cheeky smile. “Why don’t you find out?” He didn’t wait for my response before he got rid of his pants and I was face to face with his large erection.

“I’ve never…” I started saying.

He weaved his fingers into my long blond hair. “You don’t have to suck me, but you can taste if you want to.”

Slowly I leaned forward and planted a kiss on the head of his long shaft. My hand was drawn to touch it and the skin was surprisingly soft.

Once or twice I had found porn magazines at the motel when I cleaned so I had a good idea what a blow job looked like, but some of the pictures had scared me with the way the guy pressed himself down the woman’s throat, and with my eyes wide open I looked up at Gabriel. “Promise not to hurt me.”

He frowned and nodded. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

But I was curious and reached out my tongue to lick along his shaft. It didn’t really taste of anything. Only when I reached the top and licked off small drops of pre-cum did I know what he tasted like.

It was a mild taste… reminding me of an exotic fruit I once tasted, but couldn’t remember the name of. I wondered how much of him I could fit into my mouth and experimented by sliding my mouth over him.

It was his turn to grip the bedspread and moan, and a strong surge of power shot through me. He liked it… I wasn’t sucking at it… or at least he liked me sucking at it.

A small chuckle escaped me as I mused about sucking.

“What’s so funny?” he asked in a strained voice.

I gave him a wink. “That you don’t mind me sucking at it.”

My joke escaped him… “You have no idea… seeing you with my cock in your mouth has to be most erotic sight I’ve ever seen. You’re fucking gorgeous.”

A bubbly sensation filled my chest. I could do this… in fact I
was
doing it, and there was nothing disgusting or disturbing about it. It gave me pleasure to please him like he had pleased me.

I kept sucking him, exploring his balls with my tongue and using my hands to get to know this part of his anatomy better. The fascination with sex that other people seemed to have, but I had never shared, was starting to make sense to me.

“I want so badly to be inside you.” He groaned and pushed me down on my back, positioning himself between my legs and kissing me deeply. Apparently he didn’t mind tasting himself either.

“Please Cia… I want you so bad…” he whispered against me. “Say yes…” 

I had my hands around his neck and was nuzzling his shoulders, feeling his long hard shaft pushing up against the folds of my core. I answered him by pushing against him and whispering into his ear. “I’m all yours.”

His hands weaved into my hair holding my face in place as he pulled back to look at me with an earnest expression in his beautiful almond shaped eyes. “If we do this, you know what it means, right?” he whispered.

“That you’ll be my first?” I asked.

“And your last,” he said.

“Why? Do you plan on killing me afterwards?” Patterns are hard to break; G and I always used humor to cope with our emotions, and this was heavy stuff.

“No,” he said and kissed my nose. “I plan on making you mine forever.”

I narrowed my eyes. “I think you’ve been too long abroad. In this country men and women can have sex without committing to a lifetime together.”

He kissed me again. “Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

I didn’t take his words too seriously, but figured it was all part of him making me feel good about the situation. I wasn’t one of those women who had saved myself for marriage. I had avoided sex for other reasons, and marriage wasn’t for me anyway. Still, I appreciated his gentleman manners. 

Three seconds later he had a condom on and was licking me again, this time using a finger to stimulate my insides. It felt intrusive but incredibly good, and when he expanded it to two fingers I started rocking against him in a rhythm as old as time.

“You’re so tight, but I want you so badly,” he said, leaning back on his heels and pulling me into his lap. From my position I could see him point the head of his cock against my opening and push forward.

“Oh fuck… this is beautiful…” he groaned as pressure built below. If one finger had felt intrusive, it was nothing compared to his plum-sized head. He had a look of concentration but kept pushing and then he stopped.

“I’m inside you now.”

“I can see that…” It was only the top of his cock that was inside me; I doubted I could take all the rest of him.

“What if you don’t fit?” I asked.

He was still looking down, circling my clit with his thumb.

“How far in do you have to go?” I asked.

In that moment he pushed a bit deeper and then he retracted, starting to go in and out at a slow pace.

“You like that?” he asked with hooded eyes full of lust.

“Uh-huh,” I moaned.

For a little while that was all he did, and I was starting to think that this was it. He was sitting in front of me, one set of our hands merged, his other hand massaging my clitoris, and all the while he was moving in and out in slow movements that felt nice.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

“For what?”

“For me to take your virginity.”

“I thought you already had,” I said but he just shook his head and shifted to lie on top of me, kissing me thoroughly again.

“I’m ready,” I said into his mouth, feeling his cock enter me again.

And that’s when he pushed all the way in, breaking through my hymen and holding me in place when I tried to pull back in pain.

It hurt.

It really hurt, and I think it might have hurt Gabriel too because he made some strained groans and stopped moving inside me. For a moment we lay closely merged with his cock spearing me like a goddamn shish kebab.

And then he started rocking back and forth like we had done before and the pain slowly but surely grew to pleasure.

  We were having sex… I was no longer a virgin, and from Gabriel’s moans in my ear, I got the sense that I wasn’t terrible at it.

“Fuck, you feel amazing,” he almost growled and half bit, half kissed my neck. “Do you like it?”

“Yes,” I assured him and met him in his slow thrusts, which were becoming harder.

“Tell me if it hurts,” he warned me and pushed up on his hands, looking down to where we were joined and slowly increasing his pace to…
fast
. The whole bed started shaking as he took me with an intensity and determination I had never imagined.

“Yes… yes… God, yes,” I chimed in and felt all those little jolts of electricity that had played with my body earlier return. But this time they had brought friends and the party was so much bigger… the orgasm so much more violent. “OH FUCK!” I cried out as bliss took me again and my insides cramped around him.