Bittner, Rosanne (28 page)

John
pulled away, and she met his eyes, suddenly thinking about the fact that he had
probably spent last night with Jenny Simms "getting things out of his
system," as he had put it yesterday. She almost wanted to hit him for it,
but she had, after all, made it very clear he would not enjoy any sexual
husbandly rights. Now she felt tiny little spasms of desire, wondering in the
back of her mind what it might be like to afford this man those rights.

Chino
flashed into her mind then. No, she could not bear it! She looked away, but his
kiss remained sweet on her lips.

"Well,
Mr. and Mrs. Hawkins, you make one hell of a beautiful couple," Jenny told
them. She hugged Tess, turned to John. "Boy, am I gonna miss you, you wild
heathen." Tess had to look away, and she touched her own lips again. In
the next moment Ken was vigorously shaking her hand.

"He's
a good man," he repeated. "No woman was ever mistreated by John
Hawkins. He'll do good by you, Tess."

Tess
nodded, and she thought about telling Ken what she knew about Jim Caldwell, but
this was not the right time or place. "He doesn't know it, but he needs
you to watch out for him, Ken."

Ken
nodded. "I already know that."

John
went to get his horse and tied it to the back of the buggy Tess had driven to
the mission.

Jenny
embraced Tess. "You'll be all right, honey. You might even get to like the
idea of being married to John Hawkins... after a time. Don't be too short with
him. He's done a good thing for you, you know." She patted Tess's arm and
walked off with Ken, who helped her into her carriage and mounted his horse. He
waved his hat to John.

"I'll
meet up with you at the livery tomorrow mornin' around nine," he called
out. "Too bad Captain Booth is sending us off so quick after you're
married."

John
waved back, then came over to shake the priest's hand. "Thanks for
agreeing to marry us," he told the man.

"God
bless both of you," the priest replied.
"Vaya con Dios,
amigo."

"Vaya
con Dios,
Father
Hermosa."

Tess
thanked the priest herself and walked with John to her carriage. "I take
it you're riding in the carriage with me."

"Seems
only proper, being newlyweds, doesn't it? I think we'd better go let ourselves
be seen about town. I'll buy us some lunch. Until we get into a house, I guess
we'll have to eat all our meals at Ruby Watson's place. She's got the best food
around, unless you want only Mexican. Something tells me you prefer Southern
fried chicken to hot peppers."

Tess
climbed into the carriage. "Yes, but there is some Mexican food I like.
How can a person live in Texas and not like Mexican food?"

John
grinned, climbing onto the seat beside her and taking up the reins. "Can't
argue with that one."

"Do
you speak Spanish?"

He
snapped the reins. "Well, it's like with the food—how can a Texas Ranger
do his job without knowing Spanish, as well as a little of the Comanche and
Apache tongue? Most of the men we go after are either Mexican or Indian. You
have to be able to converse with them."

"In
your case, what does it matter? They're usually dead before they get a chance
to argue the point."

John
grinned. "Not always."

Tess
thought how intelligent he had to be to be able to pick up those languages the
way he had. "I know some Spanish, just what is necessary to get by. You
would think that after ten years here, I would know more than I do. But most of
my socializing has been with other white..." She hesitated, realizing she
might be offending him. "Well, you know."

"Oh,
I know, all right. What you have to get straight in your own head is that I am
more white than Indian, if that helps any. Maybe not in looks, but by blood I'm
only one-quarter Indian, I think. It was my grandmother who was full-blooded,
my mother only half."

Tess
studied the hands that held the reins, strong, dark. To look at John Hawkins,
one would think he was certainly more than one-quarter Indian.

"What
do you suppose people will think of this, Mrs. Hawkins?"

The
words almost startled her. Mrs. Hawkins. She was Mrs. John Hawkins. "I'm
not sure I want to know what they're thinking. Let them draw whatever conclusions
they want. I'm not showing yet, so I hope to fool all of them. That's the most
I can hope for. Women like Harriet Caldwell and her friends will look down
their noses at me, but they'll get used to it"

"How
about you? Will
you
get used to it?"

"I
have no choice, do I?"

They
rode on in silence for a few minutes. "I hope you don't look at this like
some kind of jail sentence. It's for life, you know, so why not relax and let
yourself think of me at least as a friend, Tess. It's all right to touch me,
you know. We're supposed to be newlyweds. And since you are my wife, I can't
exactly look at your touching me as being forward or brazen now, can I? We're
coming into town. You'd better look the happy wife."

He
glanced at her with a smirk on his face, and Tess wanted to hit him. Instead,
she placed a hand through his arm, holding her chin proudly as a few people
began to stare at them. A couple of men called out to John, obvious curiosity
in their eyes.

"Who
you got with you there, Hawkins?" one man yelled.

"Mrs.
Hawkins.
I just got married, Hank."

"Married!
You?
Ain't no wild man like John Hawkins gets to marry a pretty little
thing like Mrs. Carey there."

"Well,
she's not Mrs. Carey anymore."

"I'll
be damned!" The man ran to tell someone else, and Tess began to feel
embarrassment as she could tell the talk and whispers were moving down the
street almost as fast as their carriage. Mexican and white women alike stared,
talked low to each other. The men were more outspoken, some congratulating
John, some giving out whistles and hoots. Tess noticed Ken's horse was tied in
front of Jenny's Place, and she decided she would remind John later that she
had better never see
his
horse tied there anymore.

Several
people congratulated them when they stopped in front of Ruby's and climbed
down. Tess knew some of them, but not all. Most were men. The women hung back,
wives of the men who ran businesses in El Paso. Tess knew they were probably in
complete shock over what they were hearing.

Beside
John she walked inside Ruby Watson's restaurant and sat down, and Ruby was
rather terse as she poured their coffee. She was a stout woman of normally
gracious manners, a hardworking woman who ran this restaurant as well as
tending to three children while her husband helped out at the feed store. It
was obvious she disapproved of John as a husband for Tess.

"Well,
I am told congratulations are in order," she said, standing there with the
coffee pitcher in her hand. She looked at Tess. "Whatever has gotten into
you, Mrs. Carey? You always seemed so sensible, at least before..."

"Before
my farm was raided and I was carried off?"

"Well...
you have to admit this marriage is rather odd. Your first husband has only been
dead—"

"You
know most women don't stay single long in this land," Tess interrupted.
"And my decisions are my business. Mr. Hawkins here is a fine man, and I
will remind you
my
name is Hawkins now, not Mrs. Carey. If not for Mr.
Hawkins, I would probably be dead now, or wishing I was. I owe him a great
deal, but that is not the reason I married him. He has expressed feelings for
me, and he is certainly deserving of home and family. I intend to provide both
for him, so you can tell that to the other ladies in town. I care a great deal
for John, and I would appreciate the respect of others for my marriage. Now,
may we please have some chicken and potatoes? And is there cream for the
coffee?"

Ruby
Watson stood there looking rather chagrined, scowling first at John, then at
Tess. "Certainly." She walked away in a huff, but others continued to
stare. John looked at Tess with a mixture of pride and curiosity.

"Quite
a little speech, Mrs. Hawkins."

"It
needed saying. Ruby is quite the gossip. Let her tell it around town. Maybe
then I won't have to repeat the same explanation to every lady I meet."

Did
you mean that—about caring a great deal for me?"

She
dropped her gaze to her coffee cup and picked it up. "I suppose. Either
way, it certainly doesn't hurt to make sure others believe it."

He
leaned back in his chair. "I wish
I
could believe it."

Tess
glanced sidelong at some of the others. "Be careful what you say,"
she answered softly. She finally met his eyes, such dark, sometimes unreadable
eyes they were, sometimes gentle, sometimes showing a viciousness that could
turn a person's blood to ice. Right now they actually looked sad, and it
surprised her. "Believe it," she answered.

Their
gazes held as he slowly nodded. "All right. I'll settle for that
much."

Tess
felt a quick flash of desire over the way he looked at her, then chastised herself
for it. Not only did the thought of a man touching her right now make her feel
sick, but it seemed so wrong to care this soon for anyone else... And here she
sat married to the last man on earth she would ever have considered even
looking at a few weeks ago! What was she going to do when she recovered from
this insanity? The deed was done. What if she lost her baby or it died? Then
what would she do about this marriage?

Ruby
brought their food, but Tess could hardly eat because of the stares and her own
nervousness.

"You
should eat more," John urged.

"I
can't."

He
sighed, wondering when she was ever going to stop behaving like a scared kitten
while putting on a brave, uncaring front for others. He leaned close to her.
"We'll go back to the room from here," he said quietly. "People
will expect it. Since we won't be doing what they'll
think
we're doing,
maybe you can teach me something about reading. Do you have any paper, ink, a
pen? Something to write with?"

She
nodded.

"I'll
get a newspaper from the desk clerk and take it up with us. Teaching me to read
is part of the deal, remember?"

"Yes."
She met his eyes. "We'll... I suppose we'll have to stay in that room the
rest of the evening... the rest of the night."

He
wanted to laugh at the look on her face. "I suppose we will," he
answered. "Don't worry. Come morning I'll be out of El Paso, maybe for
days or weeks. You'll be safe. You can have that house built so I'll have a
place to come home to."

She
nodded. "All right."

They
finished eating, except that Tess left most of her chicken. John paid for the
food, ignoring a very cold Ruby Watson. A couple of men in the restaurant
congratulated him, but the women only silently stared. They left, and John told
Tess to go to the hotel. "I'll take the horse and carriage and my own
horse to the livery. I'll get my things from Jenny's later tonight, after dark
so no one sees me. I'll go up the back way."

Jealousy
again struck her. He'd left his clothes and gear at Jenny's last night. She met
his eyes. "You... won't stay there, will you? I mean... you'll just get
your things and come right back?"

He
grinned. "Would it matter?"

"Of
course! The desk clerk has to know you're up in our room all night."

"That
the only reason it matters?"

She
reddened a little. "Of course it is. If you could get away with it, I
wouldn't care if you slept in Jenny Simms's bed every night!"

He
just shook his head. "The hell you wouldn't." He untied the carriage
horse and led it away.

Tess
stood there feeling ridiculous, embarrassed that he'd apparently read her
jealous thoughts. It angered her that he would think he mattered to her that
way. She simply had to be more careful. She couldn't give him any ideas. She
headed for the hotel. This was going to be the longest night of her life.

Tess
scanned the newspaper John brought back with his gear. "I see Harriet
Caldwell has convinced a Baptist minister to come here, and her husband will
head a commission to raise money to build a church for him." She turned a
page of the paper. "Harriet might try practicing the Christian religion
herself before worrying about bringing a preacher here."

John
removed his jacket. "You never told me how things went at the Caldwells.
Would you have stayed if not for the baby?"

Tess
lowered the paper. "I couldn't have. The woman treated me like a slave,
always at her beck and call. I had to get out on my own, and I would have, even
without the baby. I only went there in the first place in return for Jim
Caldwell's taking care of the farm. Now I suppose it will grow into a tangled
mess before I can do anything with it."

"That's
my job, remember?" John untied a black string tie and loosened the buttons
of his shirt. "I'm taking this thing off. These clothes aren't exactly
comfortable for a man like me."