Big Trouble (35 page)

DAPHNE'S owner sued Dade County for pain and suffering related to getting knocked out, plus the loss of a beloved pet. A jury awarded him $3.2 million.

AFTER Arthur Herk got out of the mental hospital, he went to the U.S. attorney's office and told a wild story about corruption and payoffs and hit men and a place in Coconut Grove that sold bombs and missiles. But when investigators went to the address, all they found was a deserted, boarded-up bar, with nothing inside but old beer signs and a busted TV. Arthur died a few months later in what was ruled a fishing accident, which seemed odd because nobody could ever remember his having gone fishing before.

IVAN Chukov and Leonid Yudanski were taken to a secure federal facility and questioned for several weeks. Then they were deported to Moscow, where they opened a very successful Starbucks.

WALTER Kramitz finally grew tired of hearing snide comments from his fellow police officers and quit the force to become a dancer at a nightclub for women called “Thrust.” His stage name is Buck Lance.

JACK Pendick pleaded no contest to a number of charges related to the Coconut Grove shootings. He served a year in prison, and after an early release because of good behavior, he eventually found a job as a security guard.

MONICA Ramirez recovered slowly but steadily. Once she got out of intensive care, she was visited regularly by Harvey Baker, and when she got out of the hospital, they started dating. One night, after they finished a bottle of wine—the first time her doctor had allowed her to have alcohol—he proposed to her, and she accepted, and then they made love, and then, after she promised, cross her heart, that she would not tell anybody ever, he told her what had been inside the suitcase. And she said, you're telling me they let a scuzzball get through airport security with a gun
and
a nuclear weapon? And he said, yup. And she said, what a world. And they hardly ever talked about it again.

ELIOT Arnold fell even deeper into debt, and came very close to being evicted from his office for nonpayment of rent. On the day that his landlord had intended to kick him out, he got a visit in his office from two young partners of the hottest advertising agency in New York. They asked him if he was the guy who'd done the Hammerhead Beer ads, and he started to say it wasn't really his idea, but before he could get the words out, they told him they LOVED those ads, they were so RUDE, and they wanted to hire Eliot to do a national campaign, print and TV, with a huge budget, for a new type of nonalcoholic youth beverage called SpewTum, which was going to feature a high-profile involvement by the Seminal Fluids.

ANNA filed for, and quickly got, a divorce from Arthur. He didn't have much in the way of assets, but she did get to keep the house. She and Eliot had agreed that they would not jump into anything, that they would take it slow and be really sure. They were married four days later.

JENNY and Matt dated for a while and went to the prom together, but they decided it was just too weird, their mom and dad being married and all, and they decided to be good friends, which they remained for the rest of their lives.

THE enemy toad, perhaps traumatized by its encounter with Arthur, hopped away and never returned. Roger could never say so in so many words, but the truth was he kind of missed it.