Big Girls Do Cry (31 page)

Luckily, he was drunk enough that he didn’t question my lie. “I’ll take that as a yes.” Without further incident, he turned and went back to his car. “I never cheated on you with that woman, Loraine. Not even once.”

Egypt was so pissed off at me for hanging out with Tony on Christmas Eve that she had been trying to make my life a living hell ever since. It seemed like all we did was argue—about
my
body, no less—from the minute I got up to the moment I went to bed. She had a comment about every bit of food I put in my mouth, how many hours of sleep I was getting, or if I was getting enough exercise. She even had the nerve to comment on my maternity shirts being too tight, as if they might strangle the baby or something. If I said up, she said down; if said I blue, she’d say brown.

What I didn’t understand was why she was so upset with Tony being back in the picture, because all of a sudden, she and Rashad were all lovey-dovey. The more she fought with me, the closer they got to each other. They’d been going at it like two rabbits in heat. I even caught them doing it on the damn washing machine one day, which upset my stomach worse than any morning sickness.

In the good old days, it would have taken me no time to make Rashad forget why he was mad at me, but now things were different. I couldn’t convince him to forgive me, because I couldn’t even get him to talk to me. His revenge for my night out with Tony was the exact opposite of Egypt’s approach. He wasn’t speaking to me at all, which, I’m sure he knew, was much more painful than Egypt’s constant arguing. He had always been this way. When Rashad and I were dating, he never argued after the initial fight. He’d state his position, then give me the silent treatment, sometimes for days or weeks. He would barely acknowledge
my presence, which drove me crazy. One thing I inherited from my mother was a need to be seen.

As bad as things were now, I still held out hope for us. With the baby’s due date only a few months away, he would have to come around, or he’d miss out on a lot of joyful moments.

He almost broke the other day when Egypt and I were arguing about the sex of the baby. He was very passionate about wanting a boy. That’s why I was sure that once we had the sonogram today, his silence would end.

When we arrived at the doctor’s office, Rashad and Egypt were still treating me like a pariah, sitting as far away from me as they could in the waiting room. I sat alone and rubbed my belly, wondering when they would wake up and realize that without me, this baby wouldn’t exist. They had better start showing me some respect real soon, or I might just pull another disappearing act for a few days to scare their asses.

The nurse called me in to the exam room, and Rashad and Egypt both jumped up from their seats. Rashad had never gone into the exam room with me, thanks to Egypt’s paranoid, jealous ass, but this time he insisted. Nothing was going to stop him from seeing this sonogram and learning the sex of his child. Still, Egypt made one last attempt to control the situation.

“Baby, you don’t have to go in the examination room with us.”

“Yes, I do. I want to know what we’re having just as much as you do.” Usually, he backed down pretty easily from Egypt to keep the peace, but today there was a determination in his voice I hadn’t heard before. I saw it as an opportunity to get back on his good side.

“I think he should be there,” I chimed in.

“Nobody asked you, Isis. This is between me and my husband.” I wanted to race across the waiting room and choke the shit outta her ass, but with the nurse standing right there watching us, it wasn’t gonna happen. I bit my tongue and headed toward the exam room. I wasn’t surprised when Rashad followed right behind me. This was one argument my sister was definitely not going to win.

When we crowded into the small room, Rashad had no
choice but to stand close to me. As soon as his body was near mine, I felt the baby move.

Oh, you’re happy, aren’t you, junior? You want your mommy and daddy together. I know what you mean; Auntie Egypt needs to take a hike.

When the technician came in with the machine, he put the gel on my stomach and moved the ultrasound wand over my abdomen.

“Is this your first sonogram?” he asked.

“No, they gave her one last month, but the baby was turned with its back toward the front,” Egypt answered for me.

I wanted to say, Well, I’ll be damned. I thought he was talking to me, but Rashad spoke before I could.

“So, will you be able to tell us the baby’s sex today?” he asked.

“Sure. As long as the little bambino cooperates. Sometimes they move around so much we can’t get a good look at the important parts.”

He moved the wand around some more, clicking keys on the computer every once in a while to capture certain images. “This is a big baby for six months,” he commented.

“Takes after his daddy, I guess,” Rashad said proudly.

“Oh! Here we go,” the technician announced. “Talk about being big!”

He pointed to the screen, and I saw the proof of what I’d known all along. I could clearly see a penis. It even looked like he had a little erection.

“I told you I was having a boy,” I said smugly.

Egypt jumped her big behind in front of the screen so nobody else could see anything. “M-my God, it
is
a boy!” She stuttered like she couldn’t believe it. “Baby, it’s a boy!”

Rashad pushed his way up to the computer. “Stop trying to bogart the screen, baby. Let me see.”

She stepped aside, and Rashad let out a laugh as Egypt pointed to the baby’s penis. He stared at the screen for a minute before he said anything. Then he turned to Egypt and said, “It’s a boy. First boy in my family since I was born. I can’t believe it.”

As I lay there and watched them hug each other, I couldn’t
help but feel sorry for myself. Here I was the one making this all possible, and I might as well be invisible. Then Rashad turned to me, and everything was good again.

“Isis, I don’t know what to say.”

Those were the first words he’d spoken to me in weeks. He broke into this big smile that made all this discomfort worth it. Like I said before, men could never stay mad at me for very long. I breathed a sigh of relief.

“I told you it was a boy,” I said again, though there were a million other things I wished I could say to him.

Rashad looked at me now with tears in his eyes. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

He held my gaze for a moment, but then Egypt started pushing up on him, putting her arms around him. “Baby, I’m so happy. We’re having a son. This is wonderful.”

He kissed her, but I knew that kiss was meant for me. She had to steal the moment, but it was all right. I knew that secret look Rashad had given me. Egypt’s days were numbered now that I had given him a son.

When they left the room, I whispered to my baby, “Yep, looks like me and your daddy are back on the same page. I’m going to make sure I do whatever I have to do to make it right for us again.”

I was at my desk daydreaming about the great sex I’d had with Big Poppa the night before when I felt someone entering the room. People didn’t just walk in my office without knocking, except for Loraine, whose office was behind mine as part of our suite, and she was out to lunch with Michael. With everything going on with that crazy stalker Peter, I casually took hold of my letter opener before I looked up. If by chance it was him, I was going to show him exactly who the crazy one was, ‘cause I was getting sick of his shit. Everywhere I went, that motherfucker seemed to show up, and if he wasn’t there, he’d call me up to let me know he knew I was there. Shit, I felt like a fool to be asking myself this now, but did his crazy ass have a job? I don’t see how he could have, because it seemed like he was making a career out of following me. Maybe from now on I should learn a little more about a person before we got naked.

A simple glance around the room told me it wasn’t Peter hovering over me, but my coworkers, Egypt and Hannah, who was from reception. When we made eye contact, they were both giggling at me like two teenagers who had a secret and couldn’t wait to share. I expected this sort of thing out of Hannah—she was a young girl who was always in the middle of office gossip—but Egypt needed to quit. She was about to become a mother.

“Jerome”—Hannah laughed playfully—”when I die, I want to come back as you.”

“Me too.” Egypt chuckled along, raising her hand as if she were testifying. “‘Cause, honey, you are the man.”

I kind of laughed along with them, although I didn’t have a clue what was so funny. “Excuse me, but could you two clue me in on what the hell is going on?”

Egypt walked over and placed a hand on my shoulder. “Jerome, honey, I owe you a big-time apology.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Why’s that?”

“Because when you used to tell us about Big Poppa and how fine he was, I thought you were lying. But, honey, you were right. He is some kind of fine. Mmm, mmm, mmm.” She stomped her foot.

I was totally confused. “And you know this because …?”

This didn’t even sound right, because Big Poppa would never show up at the job asking for me, especially not using his nickname. It would blow his cover, and he was all about staying on the DL. Besides, he was too well known; if he strolled into our offices, Egypt and Hannah would have recognized him right away.

Hannah chimed in. “You know, Jerome, I have to admit, I would have never expected Big Poppa to be a white guy.”

I had to suppress a scream. That was definitely not Big Poppa they were talking about.

Before I could ask for more details, Egypt said, “Who cares if he’s white, black, green, or yellow? The man is drop-your-drawers fine.”

“I care if he’s white,” I snapped as I stood up. I was through with both their nosy asses and was feeling a little more than threatened, since I suspected the white guy they were talking about was Peter. “Especially since Big Poppa is black.”

“Uh-oh,” Hannah murmured.

“Uh-oh is right. Where the hell did you meet this guy?”

They exchanged guilty glances; then Hannah said quietly, “In reception. He’s waiting for you.”

I picked up my letter opener and headed out the door with both of them in tow.

Peter was standing in the reception area like he didn’t have a care in the world. He was holding what must have been three dozen roses and a big-ass box of candy.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” He tried to hand me the flowers and candy, but I threw my hands up in refusal.

“What the hell are you doing in my office?”

“Big Poppa’s come to give you your Valentine presents and take you to lunch.”

I shot him a disgusted glare. “I’m not going anywhere with your lunatic ass. And you’re not Big Poppa.”

“Jerome, I’m so sorry,” Hannah said. She and Egypt stood a safe distance away from me and Peter. I guess they now realized that we had a psycho in our office. “When I saw the flowers and the candy, I asked if he was Big Poppa.”

“It’s not her fault, Jerome. It was just a slip. But what I want to know is, just who is this Big Poppa?”

“That’s none of your business.” As crazy as Peter was, Big Poppa’s identity was the last thing I wanted him to know. He would make both our lives hell.

“Everything about you is my business, Jerome. How many times do I have to tell you that?”

“How many times do I have to tell you that you’re one sick individual?”

“As many times as you want, I guess. But I’m not crazy. I’m in love. Haven’t you figured it out yet?”

“None of that matters if I don’t love you.”

“So, you used me? I was just a piece of flesh for your enjoyment. Do you enjoy using people? Ruining their lives?”

Egypt and Hannah stood there, totally engrossed in the drama. Neither one of them made a move to call security.

“Look, man, it was a fling for both of us. Something to do. Besides, you’re the one who’s married. You left your wife’s bed to sneak out and get a blow job.”

“Oh, shit!” Egypt let slip. I cut my eyes at her. God, I hated office gossip, and this was a story that was going to be told for years to come.

“Peter, I’m sorry if you’ve been hurt, but you gotta move on.”

“So, who do you love? That young boy up in DC, or is it this Big Poppa nobody seems to know about?”

I could see it in his eyes. It was driving him crazy that he hadn’t known about Big Poppa.

“Who I love is none of your business.”

He laughed. “Like I told you before, Jerome, you are my business. And now, so is Big Poppa.”

I hate to admit it, but his words struck true fear in my heart. I couldn’t let him know it, though, so I barked, “Hannah, call security.”

“No.” He shook his head. “You don’t have to do that.” He placed the flowers and candy on the reception desk. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Jerome. I wish I could have spent it in your arms … but I guarantee nobody else will, because if I can’t have you, nobody will.”

I watched him walk to the elevator and leave.

“That man ever comes back here …”

“I know,” Hannah said, “call security.”

“No, call the police. That man is crazy. Next time he shows up around here, I’m betting he’s going to have a gun.”

   After talking to Loraine, I decided that this whole situation with Peter was getting way out of hand. At her suggestion, I went down to the police station to file a stalking complaint. The station was filled with people milling around. Some police officers ran out on calls, some officers sat around shooting the breeze, and others were working on computers. I went straight to the desk sergeant, who was a husky, out-of-shape white guy.

“How can I help you?” he asked. He peered over his glasses, giving me the impression that he really didn’t want to be there.

“I’d like to find out what the stalking laws are here in Virginia.”

The sergeant paused, rolling his eyes. “So, which one are you, the stalker or the stalkee?” He chuckled, but I remained stone-faced.

“I’m the stalkee.”

“You know, women are crazy these days.” The sergeant opened up a three-ring binder, lowered his head, and started to write. “Okay, what’s her name?”