Between These Walls

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Authors: John Herrick

BOOK: Between These Walls
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BETWEEN THESE WALLS

A Novel

 

John Herrick

Published by Segue Blue

Copyright © 2015 by John Herrick

All Rights Reserved

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014948188

ISBN-13:

978-0-9915309-3-9 (Kindle)

978-0-9915309-4-6 (ePub)

ISBN-10:

0-9915309-3-4 (Kindle)

0-9915309-4-2 (ePub)

Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation.

Used by permission.
www.Lockman.org

From The Dead
excerpt copyright © 2010 by John Herrick.

All rights reserved.

ALSO BY JOHN HERRICK

Fiction

The Landing

From The Dead

 

Nonfiction

8 Reasons Your Life Matters

ACCLAIM FOR JOHN HERRICK’S NOVEL

FROM THE DEAD

“Eloquence with an edge. In a single chapter, John Herrick can break your heart, rouse your soul, and hold you in suspense. Be prepared to stay up late.” — Doug Wead,
New York Times
bestselling author and advisor to two presidents

“A solid debut novel.” —
Akron Beacon Journal

“Evocative ... I felt breathless ... You’ll want to get this book.” — Michelle Sutton, author of
Danger at the Door

“A solid read with a powerful spiritual message.” — The Midwest Book Review

“A well written and engaging story. It moves, and moves quickly. ... I don’t think I’ve read anything in popular novel form as good as this in describing a journey of faith.” — Faith, Fiction, Friends

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Author’s Note

Prologue

Part One: Secrets/Silence

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18

Part Two: Trust/Facade

Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33

Part Three: Stain/Mercy

Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46

Part Four: Freedom/Hope

Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49

Epilogue

Preview: From The Dead, a novel by John Herrick

About the Author

Online Links

DEDICATION

To Pam Rempe.

You’ve encouraged me through every book.

This one’s for you, friend.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

At the risk of overlooking anyone, thanks to the individuals who helped make this novel happen ...

To my family. In the years since my first novel hit the shelves, God has expanded us. By the time the next book is published, someone marries or a new baby is born. Therefore, I’ve decided to keep this generic so nobody will find themselves excluded down the road.

Healing Touch Massage in Agoura Hills, California, introduced me to the world of massage therapy.

By God-coincidence, Michelle Sutton was the first to know what this novel was about, and for several years, she was the
only
one who knew. She encouraged me that this story was needed and had faith that I might communicate the story in an effective way. A fearless writer, she has urged me to be fearless with the written word. I appreciate her prayers and words at the right time.

Kelly Corday had no idea of the subject matter of this book, but she knew I had a story burning in my heart. When I shared one of the trigger events that pulled me toward the development of this book, she encouraged me to follow my heart and flat-out said,
You need to do this.
Kelly, your friendship is a gift from God. You’re one of the most genuine Christians I know. Thank you.

Maryglenn McCombs is a talented publicist but, more importantly, a kind and generous soul. She believed in this story, believed in me as a writer, and provided vital input without knowing whether she would be hired to promote the book. When I was tempted to ditch the Prologue altogether, she convinced me to keep it as part of Hunter’s story. She was a Godsend.

To Pam Rempe, Marnie McDole, and Christen Santoscoy.

To all the friends who have provided moral support and listened to my ugly vents of frustration.

To the reviewers and bloggers who have helped increase awareness of my work, starting with
From The Dead
in 2010.

To those I have forgotten or who have lent their support without my awareness.

To my readers. Thank you for investing a portion of your life with this novel. You are appreciated and loved.

Finally, to God. Thanks for not giving up on me. I would’ve given up on myself long ago.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

Readers ask why I choose particular storylines for my novels. Many stories are worth telling, but I’ve discovered the best stories result from characters who come to me when I’m not looking for them.

Such was the case with Hunter Carlisle and
Between These Walls.

Early in 2011, I had almost wrapped up the first draft of my third novel. One afternoon, when I went for a walk, a character arose within me: a middle-school kid who was a Christian but harbored an attraction to the same gender. I pondered facets of this character’s circumstances as I walked. His fears, his feelings of guilt, the hits to his self-esteem—everything about his struggle grabbed my heart.

At that point, I wouldn’t have had the courage to write a book about him. But when characters arise from within, I believe it is God’s way of telling me individuals share the character’s struggle and need a book written for them
right now.
A novel about homosexuality, however, would test the boundaries of my comfort zone. Though I hate to admit it, I worried about what others might think. So I tucked the idea, safe and silent, in the back of my brain.

But as the ancient prophet Jonah discovered, you can’t hide from God. He’ll find you.

One year later, the concept remained unexplored—until a feature story caught my attention on the television news. The nationally syndicated story revolved around the plight of a high school student on the verge of suicide. This student, about fifteen years old, had endured a continual onslaught of bullying.

The bullying occurred for one reason: The kid was gay.

After enduring all the emotional damage he could handle, this kid reached his breaking point. Desperate and exhausted, wrought with pain, he posted a video online. Too hurt to speak—I imagine the bullying included poking fun at the way he spoke—the kid had written his words in black marker on sheets of paper. So here sat a blond-haired kid who looked like an average high school freshman, wiping tears from his eyes, making a desperate plea for somebody to hear him, for someone to care ... for someone to offer him hope.

My heart broke for him. I know nothing about that student. The reporter didn’t mention the his name. She didn’t mention his city or state. I don’t even know if he’s still alive. But I couldn’t erase the sight from my memory.

Anger arose in me. My immediate gut response was,
Never again. Not on my watch. Not if I can help it.

Allow me to explain: A close family member of mine ended his life at sixteen years old. I was thirteen at the time. If you’ve never experienced such an event, trust me when I say it changes you forever. It changes your perception of life and people. From that point on, you view life with the awareness that many people appear happy but live in pain. You look into some people’s eyes and wonder if their happiness is a charade. You wonder which individuals feel they don’t matter. While others might assume few individuals consider suicide, you know better.

As I pondered the news story about that high school student, I thought,
Nobody that age should know what it’s like to feel that kind of pain.

Never again. Not on my watch.

At that point, I knew I needed to pursue the book topic and pursue it immediately. So my third novel, still in its first draft, returned to the back burner, where it has resided off and on for eight years. I began work on my fourth novel,
Between These Walls,
which you now hold in your hands.

My novels aren’t geared toward the Young Adult genre, and I wanted to make the book accessible to as many individuals as possible. So I took my initial character idea—the middle-school kid—and doubled his age, which brought him into early adulthood. To capture the struggles and vulnerability of his teenage years, I could weave some of his memories into the fabric of the story.

I don’t have quantitative data to back up my hunch, but I’ve long believed more people deal with same-sex attraction than we assume. I believe many simply hide it well or have a simultaneous attraction to the opposite gender, which enables them to live a “typical” life without raising suspicions. Therefore, I constructed Hunter as a character who finds himself attracted to both genders—technically, a bisexual male—with a stronger attraction toward males. This characteristic would allow him to remain in hiding for years. In fact, I chose the name
Hunter
to call to mind a hunter-gatherer image, the classic male stereotype—and the last place we might expect to find a gay male. His name symbolizes his attributes and interests, yet belies his deepest secret.

Regardless of whether the reader has experienced Hunter’s battles, I attempted to tell his story in such a manner that the reader can find points of commonality with him. So, as a reader, you might not have experienced homosexual feelings, but you might hold another secret that torments you. A dark secret you never want revealed. You might relate to Hunter’s fears or guilt. In that respect, perhaps Hunter’s story is your story, too.

Between These Walls
is not a political statement or a judgment of church bodies. It is not an attempt to interpret Scripture or resolve an argument. My purpose was to put the reader into the shoes of one character, to experience his emotions and inner fire—a story
behind
the story.

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