Better Than Me (15 page)

Chapter 20: NOW-Coming Out

Coffee.  I smell coffee and hear water running.  Davis has already gotten up and gone down to get me coffee and must be in the shower.  I’ve always harbored a secret theory that heaven would be like drinking coffee while taking a shower and having sex.  Now is as good a time as any to test that theory.  I reach over to my nightstand and grab the coffee.  Still on my tummy, I tilt my head back and take a long slow sip.  Perfect, as usual.  I need to remind myself to ask Davis how he always gets it right.  I’ve never told him how I like my coffee. 

I don’t have anything on, so I take my coffee and my nakedness and hop out of the loft bed.  Reaching my bathroom door, I slowly open it to hear Davis singing a power love ballad by a group that is more known for fast heavy tunes.   I haven’t heard him s
ing except for his drunken sing-along with Jake the night of the kegger.  The bathroom is steamy and smells like my apple body wash.  Before putting my cup down,  I take one more sip of coffee and then slip into the shower behind him.  He doesn’t jump or startle, just stops singing, hums, and pushes back slightly into me as come up behind him to wrap my arms around his waist and rest my cheek on his muscular back.

“You’re singing.  You sound happy,” I tell him.

“I am.  I used to always sing when I was happy.  Drove my brother crazy.”

I ask, “Were you
happy when you were singing to me drunkenly the night of the keg party?”

“Yes….and just between you and me….I wasn’t drunk.”

“Yes you were, I was there.  You were hammered.”

“Nope, I might have been a little buzzed, but not drunk
.  Jake was drunk.  That was my plan.” He is confessing to tricking me.  I feign disgust, but really I am flattered.

I ru
n my hands up and down his rock-hard abs and tease a bit lower with my pinkies.

“You acted drunk, to get Jake drunk, to get rid of him, so I would take care of you?”

“And it worked, I got to sleep with you.”

I reach lower and stroke his now fully formed erection.  He tilts his head back
and rests it on my shoulder, as I touch him.  I hear him moan his approval of the move.

“You didn’t sleep with me.”

“Sure I did.  I slept in your room, with you.  Jake didn’t.   That was good enough for me.  I just wanted to be close.  Can you forgive my deception?” 

I think he knows I’ll forgive him.  I have him in a pretty vulnerable position.  My hand is wrapped around his throbbing cock and I am stroking
upward firmly.

“I think I
might need some sort of demonstration of remorse for your deception,”  I groan into his ear.  Along with his hardness in my hand, the steam and warm water are causing me to slick up as I grind against his ass.  Davis spins around in my arms and pushes me up against the back wall of the shower.  The water is pounding over his shoulders, causing a waterfall between us.  He reaches down to stroke my clit, causing me to cry out.

“I am so very remorseful, please forgive me.” Davis begs as he slips two fingers into me and circles inside finding my G-spot.  His thumb has moved back to my clit.

It’s my turn to beg.  As I begin to release onto his hand, I cry out, “You are forgiven…now please, I want you inside me.”  He inhales sharply through his teeth, causing a hissing noise, removes his fingers, grabs my ass, lifts me up against the wall and pushes his hardness into me.

“I. Love. That. You. Forgive. Me.” He says one word with each thrust. 
Rocking into each other, we build to a gloriously loud pinnacle.  Once we are both calmer, he pulls out and slides me down so I’m standing in front of him again.  I hold onto his arms to steady myself, because our exertion has left me a bit lightheaded. 

Leaning down to lick some drops of water off my ear and kiss below it, he husks hotly,
“That little deception was totally worth it.  Then and now.”

What can I do?  He is adorable.  Sneaky, but adorable.  And so handsome, naked and wet in my shower.

We dry each other off.  I begin dressing.  Davis is putting on the clothes he had on when he came to my rescue on Friday.  We both look at them and then each other.

“I think I need to go to my place and change clothes.”

“I would loan you my Hello Kitty PJ pants, but they would probably be too small and people would stare.”  I tease him.

“Ya
think?”

“Probably.”

Davis offers a compromise, “How about you finish getting dressed, I’ll run home and change and meet you downstairs for brunch at noon?”

I openly pout, but agree to the plan. “I hate for you to leave, but you can’t exactly live in the same clothes all weekend.”

He kisses me soundly.  As he moves to open the door he assures me, “I’ll be back before you miss me.”

Once the door closes behind him, I whisper to myself, “You’re w
rong, I miss you already.”  Then I smile and do a happy dance around my tiny dorm room.

***

Already clean from the best-shower-I-ever-had-in-my-life, I quickly dress in jeans and a cute hot pink long-sleeved thermal shirt, accessorized with a patterned infinity scarf.  It’s getting cold outside and if we actually ever go out somewhere I will need to be warm.  I dry my hair quickly and throw on a bit of light make-up.  I want my day with Davis to be relaxed.  I don’t want to be uncomfortable or fussy at all.  I have a bit over an hour before I need to meet Davis downstairs.  Switching on my laptop, I decide to do something I don’t normally do.  I Google.  I haven’t thought to do it before, and in hindsight probably should have plenty of other times… with Neil, Jake.  It just never crossed my mind.  Something Davis said before Thanksgiving has come back to the forefront of my brain.  Curiosity is getting the better of me.  Davis told me his brother died and his dad was in some sort of accident.  I type Davis’ name into the search bar.  There are some articles from his high school about the technical theatre stuff he’s done.  Under images, I see his face. Plenty of red party cup pictures of him…and girls.  More than a few with girls.  Younger, but him.  A little further down, there appears to be part of a funeral notice from about six years ago, for Cole Brandon.  Reading through it I hit on the following words and phrases, DIED SUDDENLY…SURVIVED BY HIS PARENTS, LT. GOVERNOR JAMES AND MEREDITH AND AN OLDER BROTHER, DAVIS.  Oh my god, Davis wasn’t kidding when he was talking about pain.  Died Suddenly?  That’s code, funeral notice code for murder or suicide or a car accident.  Accident?  Davis said his dad was in an accident.

I type JAMES BRANDON LT. GOVERNOR in the search bar. 
There are tons of hits.  Under NEWS is an article describing how Former Lt. Governor James Brandon of Illinois has recovered from his spinal cord injury from a gunshot wound, but will be partially paralyzed.  GUN SHOT WOUND?  He is now serving as a consultant on various issues including gun control and mental health issues, for the current governor of Illinois.  I scan a bit further down the page.  I open up the page of images for James Brandon.  There are pictures of a very handsome man that looks like an older version of Davis.  In some, he is by himself.  In others, he is greeting people in a receiving line, with what appears to be his wife, Davis and Kathleen. They are obviously well dressed.  Wealthy.  These are society page photos. And then another picture grabs and holds my attention.  It’s Mr. and Mrs. Brandon, Davis, Kathleen, and Cole, but in this picture, Cole has his arm around Kathleen and she is snuggled into him.  I click on the picture and read the caption.  “Lt. Governor and Mrs. Brandon, his older son, Davis, and younger son, Cole, along with Cole’s girlfriend, Miss Kathleen Holbrook. 

I am dizzied by the amount
of information I have found in such as short amount of time.  Davis’ ex-fiancee was Cole’s girlfriend?  Mr. Brandon was injured by a gunshot wound? Cole Brandon died suddenly?  Davis must have been through hell a few years ago.  This is the “long story” he inferred before Thanksgiving.  It’s overwhelming.  I need to find Davis.  He deserves my support and understanding.  I feel like an idiot.  My issues are NOTHING compared to what he’s been through. 

I throw on my tall black Uggs.  I can’t find my
winter coat, so I put on my fleece jacket.  Davis should be down in the cafeteria soon.  I will go down there and wait for him.  Perhaps we can eat quickly and leave or sneak off to a corner of the cafeteria and talk.  It will be up to him.  I will just be there for him.  I am beginning to get a clearer picture of why Davis is the way he is.  He is quiet, a bit moody, and can be stoically intimidating to some people.  I have seen flashes of anger.  I suspect he punched out Jake.  But he is also incredibly protective of those he cares about.  He put off college to care for his parents.  I wonder exactly what happened six years ago?

Pulling the door shut on my dorm room, I spin around to come face to face with a sour looking Suzette.

“I came by to thank you, Biz.”  she simpers in a fake way.

I have no time for this.  I need to find Davis.  “Thank me, for what?”

“Breaking up with Jake.  I mean, he was about to do it anyway, but, well, even though he’s hot in the sack, he deserved you knocking him on his ass.  Now he won’t be so worried about sneaking around.  It’ll make hooking up so much easier.”

God, she sounds so gross.  Who actually thinks like that?
I thought
I
had no respect for myself.

“That’s fine, Suzette, whatever, good luck….I need to go find Davis,” I flippantly
bark out and go to move on.

“So you’re with Davis, huh?  I was wondering who you were screwing in there.  You weren’t exactly quiet.  You don’t know
much about Davis, do you?  I do. I’m from near his hometown.  His parents are going to HATE you.  And he is going to HATE that you are CRAZY.   Especially after his brother went nuts and tried to kill him. He’ll dump your ass in no time.”

What?  What was that about Cole trying to kill Davis.
  Oh my god.  I need to find Davis now.

I am starting
to get pissed and trying hard not to cry.  “I’m not crazy.”

“Oh, really…Not what I heard from Randall.”

Shit, she knows Randall?  She knows why I left town. 

“You know Randall?”

“Sure, through Neil. I’ve known Neil for years. We were RAs together before you came along.  Banged him before you did.  He and Randall are really ‘good friends’-almost like brothers,” she snarks with a laugh.  “Have a little ‘business’ going on.”  I must have a confused look on my face, because she continues, “Oh, looks like you didn’t know about that.”  Suzette cackles, “You will soon enough, you naïve bitch.”

             
“What?”  I am completely lost. All I can think about is Davis almost getting killed.

             
Suzette keeps talking, “I’m just saying, once Davis finds out everything about your summer…about you losing your mind and running away, By the way, Randall still wants that $500… your little love affair will be history.”

             
“Davis already knows.” I lie.  I lie right to her face.  Davis doesn’t know about my crack up, not all of it.  He doesn’t know about my concerns about that last night at Randall’s.  The thing I can’t remember.

             
Suzette smirks and twitches her eyebrows up. “Oh, sure he does… or maybe he doesn’t and I should tell him…Anyway, just came by to thank you for cutting Jake loose.  Have a great day.”  Suzette almost skips off, with a grin on her face like the fucking sugar plum fairy that delivered a bag of shit.

             
Find Davis.  No, run.  I don’t really know which of these actions I am taking, I only know I am on the move.  Down the main staircase of Lawrence Hall and out the front door.  Oh my god, it’s colder than I thought it was!  Fine.  It will help me think.  Do I run away and figure this out on my own?  Do I find Davis?  I don’t know.  I’m so panicked, I can’t even cry.  I just know my heart is racing a ba-zillion miles an hour.  What did Dr. Matt tell me?  Oh, yeah, it will all be over in five minutes. Five minutes.  That feels like a long time. 

Stop, Biz!
 

Okay, I’m stopped.
Now, what to do?  I must not be paying any attention to anything else, just pacing and then stopping and squatting and holding my chest over and over, because I don’t acknowledge anything or anyone in my environment, until I see a large black SUV squeal up beside me.  Davis.  It’s Davis’ Escalade.

             
I look up and lock onto his eyes when I hear the window buzz down. 

“Lizard, what are you doing?”
he asks.  He looks scared.  Why is he scared?

Because
you are pacing and breathing rapidly, idiot.  You probably look like you’ve seen a ghost. You look….crazy.

“Umm..
. I just came out to…” I can’t articulate what I don’t know.

“Run?”

“No, I was going to look for you and then I was ambushed.”

“Ambushed?  Wait.  Stay right where you are.  I’m parking the car.  Don’t move.”