Bent not Broken (137 page)

“Well, not this guy.”

I open my mouth to say something, but he leans in to kiss me instead. “Hang out with me,” he whispers against my lips.

“Do you want to come inside and watch a movie?” I ask, pulling back just enough to look him in the eye.

He smiles. “There’s nothing I’d rather do.”

“What are we doing standing out here then? Let’s go inside, and pick out a movie.” I walk past him toward the house, glancing back to make sure he’s following behind.

As soon as we enter the house, I motion him toward the couch and walk to my bedroom to change my clothes. “Make yourself at home. I’ll be right back.”

I throw on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a grey thermal, taking a couple extra minutes to comb my fingers through my hair and put on a little mascara. I’m not one of those girls who spend hours on her appearance, but Asher doesn’t seem to mind.

I leave my room and see him sitting on the couch staring at the blank television screen. When I’m close enough to touch, he reaches for my hand and pulls me down next to him. Once I’m cuddled next to him, he grabs my hand in his and brings it to his lips. “I talked to my sister yesterday.”

I look up, noticing how tense he seems. “How did it go?”

“She cried. It made me feel like complete shit,” he tells me.

“I don’t understand why you can’t just go visit her. It would be better for both of you.”

He looks down at me for a split second before focusing his attention back to the screen. “I wish it was that easy.”

“Why does it have to be so hard?” I ask. He always sounds so sad when he talks about her, and I can’t help but wonder what might be going on in his family.

“Maybe I will soon,” he says, ignoring my question.

“If you want me to come with you, I can,” I offer, pushing some of the stray hair off his forehead.

He reaches for my hand, entwining our fingers together. “It’s something I probably need to do by myself.”

“Asher, you know if you ever want or need to talk about anything, I’m here,” I whisper, focusing on the sadness evident in his crystal blue eyes.

“I know,” he says, running the back of his finger across my cheek. “But there are some things you just can’t change no matter how much you talk about them.”

I swear this guy has read all of my theories on life. That or we’re two people with similar souls who just happened to be in the same place at the same time.

“I know exactly what you mean.” His face lifts like I’ve taken a huge weight off of him. He was probably expecting me to push him more, but I can’t do that to him when I know it doesn’t help me.

“Do you want something to drink?”

“I’ll take a glass of water.”

“Are you sure you don’t want a beer?” I ask, trying to hold back a smile.

He raises his eyebrows, shaking his head. “No, I think I’ve had enough alcohol for a while.”

“I’ve never been drunk,” I shrug.

“Seriously?” he asks, raising his eyebrows even further.

“Yeah, when you’re drunk, you don’t have control over what you do, or what others may try to do. I like to have control.”

“I get what you’re saying, but no one ever has complete control over those things, even when they’re sober,” he says. There’s a hint of sadness in his voice as his eyes focus on the blank TV screen. It’s the second time tonight that he’s said something that makes me think about how I’ve been living my life for the last two years. The past is always so much clearer than the future.

“Why don’t you pick out a movie from the cabinet, and I’ll grab the drinks.”

I rest my palms on the counter and take a few calming breaths before opening the fridge. My heart is falling so fast that I don’t think the rest of me has had time to catch up yet.

When I walk back into the living room, Asher is kneeling in front of the DVD player pressing his thumb to the eject button. “What did you pick?” I ask, setting the glasses on the coffee table.

“I can’t get this stupid thing to open. We either have to watch what’s in here, or do something else,” he says, turning to face me.

“What’s in there now?” I ask.

“Steel Magnolias,” he replies, crinkling his nose. My mom loves that movie; I swear she watches it at least once a week.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I say, biting my thumbnail. I was really looking forward to watching something funny.

I consider the options. I have a small TV and DVD player in my room that I bought when I first got my job, but I don’t know if I’m ready to be in my room alone with Asher.

I look down at Asher who’s waiting for me to make a decision. I open my mouth to ask him if he wants to watch it in my room, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Just thinking about it puts a heavy weight on my chest. He’s going to know something’s wrong with me. He’s going to end up leaving because I can’t even enjoy some of the simple things in life.

Strong arms surround me, pulling me close to his familiar scent. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, rubbing small circles on my back.

I bury my face in his t-shirt, gripping the bottom of it in my fists. “Everything,” I say honestly.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I shake my head against his chest. The pressure of his arms eases the overwhelming pressure in my chest.

“You don’t have to stay with me,” I mutter, after a few moments of silence.

“Hey, look at me,” he says, using my elbows to pull me away from him. I fix my eyes on the ground, staring at the tips of my black flats. His finger rests under my chin pulling my eyes up to his. “Keep those bright green eyes on me and listen to what I’m about to say,” he demands, taking a step in my direction. If I’m breathing right now, I can’t tell, but he certainly has my full attention.

“I’m not going to be the guy who’s going to leave when things get tough. You’ve been through some shit, I can see it all over your face, but I want to try to make it better, Kate. You deserve to be happy.”

I definitely feel my heart beating now; so fast I can feel it in my neck. He didn’t blink once during his mini speech, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t either. He’s like a tow truck pulling me out of my wreckage.

“I don’t think you can make everything better,” I admit, honestly.

He cups my face in his hands and moves so that his face is only a few inches from mine. “I’m going to try.” His lips brush across mine so quickly that I think I’ve only imagined it.

“I’m actually pretty tired. Do you mind if we call it a day and try the movie thing some other time?”

He nods, removing his hands from my face. “I’m picking you up at three o’clock tomorrow. We’re going fishing.”

“Okay,” I whisper. I remember the last time we went and how he almost kissed me. Things have certainly changed since then.

“Are you sure you’re okay here alone?” His eyes are searching mine for something hidden in their depths.

“I’ll be fine.” I’ve been pretending to be for a long time; that’s probably not going to change now.

He nods and then leans in to kiss my cheek. His hands travel down my arm as he walks away, until only our fingertips touch. He looks back one more time before breaking the connection.

I miss him the second the door closes.

Chapter 13

“Hey, honey, where are you off to today?” my mom asks, pulling a coffee cup from the cupboard. She gets one night off a week from Pete’s, and today is her lucky day.

“Asher’s coming to get me soon. We’re going fishing,” I reply, pulling my hair up into a loose knot at the top of my head.

“Are you being careful?”

“You don’t have anything to worry about when I’m with him. He’s a nice guy,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

Her eyes snap to mine. “So is Beau.”

Her words are like a slap in the face. Beau is one of the nicest people I’ve ever known, but it’s easier for me to let Asher in. Asher tries to understand me layer by layer while Beau goes straight for the center. Plus, Asher seems to have his own secrets, which helps me not feel so guilty about mine.

“I can’t explain it, but being with Asher makes me feel different.”

She stares at the ceiling and shakes her head.

“And Beau’s the guy who used to come stay with you every time you were sick. He’s the guy who took you to prom when you didn’t have a date. Don’t turn your back on that because you never know when you’ll need him again; when he might need you again, Kate. Friends like that are rare.”

“Mom—” A knock at the door brings our attention to the door. “Look, I’ve got to go. We can talk about this again later.” I grab my purse and head for the door before my mom has any time to sink her teeth into Asher. I would love for her to get to know him so she can see what I’ve seen, but it won’t work if all she sees in my future is Beau.

“Are you in a hurry?” he asks, after I slam the front door.

I skip down the stairs, only looking back once to make sure my mom isn’t following. “I’m just excited to go fishing again.” I say, opening the passenger door.

“Are you okay?” he asks, drawing one of his eyebrows up.

“I haven’t felt this good in a long time.” I turn and smile at him as he turns the ignition. He shakes his head at me and links his hand with mine.

The drive to the lake is short and quiet. I’m trying to center my emotions, and Asher’s probably trying to figure out what exactly is going on inside my head. I don’t even know if I could answer myself. My mom made me feel like crap for letting someone other than Beau into my life. I love Beau, but Asher’s who I need right now.

“Are you going to get out of the car?” Asher asks, interrupting my thoughts.

I look at him. “How long have we been sitting here?”

“Long enough for me to see how cute you are when you’re daydreaming.” He smiles.

I turn my face so that he won’t see the slight blush in my cheeks. Asher Hunt is always keeping me on my toes. “Let’s go fish before you start reading my mind.” I listen to him laugh as I exit the car and walk toward the lake.

As we approach the lake, he points to an old boat on the side of the dock. “We’re taking that today.”

“We’re actually fishing on a boat this time?” I ask, staring at the beat up fishing boat with nothing but two seats inside.

“Fuck yeah, my dad said we could use it as long as we brought it back in one piece,” he replies, placing the fishing poles and tackle box in the boat.

Looking at the boat again, I can’t help but laugh. I don’t think the boat is even in one piece as it sits tied to the dock. Asher climbs in first, holding his hand out for me to climb in. The way the boat wiggles back and forth when I put my first foot in makes me hesitate, but Asher grabs my hips and lifts me until I’m standing next to him.

“I won’t let anything happen to you.” He kisses me before turning to untie the knots that hold the boat in place.

I carefully sit down on one of the two seats and watch his muscles flex under his tight grey t-shirt. It’s a nice distraction from the pile of lumber we’re about to take out into the middle of the water. It’s been cloudy and windy all day with temperatures hovering in the sixties. My grandpa used to call this perfect fishing weather, but I fail to see the perfection.

“Ready?” Asher asks, wiping his hands on his jeans.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

He grins at my reluctance and points. “There’s a life jacket under each seat, but my job is to make sure you don’t need one.”

“Have you taken this thing out by yourself before?” I ask, biting nervously on my nail.

“Kate, trust me,” he says, giving me a warning look.

“It’s not you I have issues with . . . it’s the boat.”

He shakes his head and turns back to the rope that keeps the boat connected to the dock. Deep down, I know he wouldn’t be taking me out on the lake if he couldn’t return me to shore in the same condition.

He pushes away from the dock and takes his seat, grabbing the two oars that rest along the side of the boat.
This thing doesn’t even have an engine!

“Do you want me to help you get this thing going?” I ask, watching him as he starts to move his arms back and forth, moving us further and further into the water.

“I got it,” he says with a smile, never taking his eyes off me. The way he looks at me makes warmth pool in my stomach. The more I’m around Asher, the more I realize he could really hurt me if things didn’t end well between us.

“So, who’s going to catch more fish today?”

“I didn’t know it was a contest,” I reply, tucking some loose strands of my dark hair behind my ears.

“Everything with me is a contest. It’s the only way I can motivate myself to do anything,” he says, letting his lips turn up on one side.

I sit forward, resting my elbows on my knees so that my body is a little closer to his. “Oh yeah? What other contests do we have going on that I don’t know about?”

He stops moving his arms and pulls the oars into the boat. I glance around and notice we are already in the center of the lake; the boat feels so much smaller, and so much more vulnerable out here.

He sits forward and grabs my chin between his index finger and thumb. “We’re also going to see who can steal the most kisses today,” he growls, brushing his lips against mine, “I already have the lead. And I don’t like to lose.”

My heart is racing as he sits back in his seat and grabs the oars again. His cocky grin and the way he runs his tongue over his bottom lip before pulling it between his teeth are enough to spin my hormones out of control. He laughs and shakes his head. That boy . . . he knows exactly what he’s doing.

“Let’s catch some fish. I think this is a good spot,” he says, throwing a metal anchor into the water. “My dad says this is the best location, so let’s test that theory and see how right he is.”

My fears about the boat have started to dwindle; it seems to be okay as long as we don’t move too much. Asher doesn’t even ask me if I want to put a worm on my own hook this time. He just does it and hands me my pole, loaded with the bobber and all. His hand brushes against mine when I grab for the handle, sending a tingle up my arm. It doesn’t get past Asher because a dimple-bearing smile lights up his face as he reaches for his own pole.