Beginnings - SF2 (3 page)

"Nope," Ryan said as she walked over to the sink and delicately sorted through the toiletries. "Maybe we could cover ourselves with toothpaste," she said helpfully as she held up the tiny tube.

"Well, smarty pants, does your pledge of chastity still hold if we sleep in that bed naked?" she asked as she pointed at the inviting bed.

Ryan's eyes grew wide as she stared first at the big bed and then at her friend, "Um, I've always found that sleeping in a big, bulky terry cloth robe is very pleasant."

"I really appreciate your patience, Ryan. I mean I know you have a strong ah...drive and I know this won't be easy for you."

"Well, I think I've done pretty darn well for myself this winter. How about a little appreciation for that?" she asked petulantly as she strolled back to her chair and flopped down.

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't had the companionship of a woman in ...let's see...two months," she stated proudly. "And aside from that one little pressure release it was three months before that."

"What?" Jamie gawked, a bit incredulous. "I mean I know you and Tracy didn't, but what about after her?"

"I told you about the night I went to visit Ally. But right after that, you told me how you felt about me. If there was any chance in the world that I could be with you I wasn't going to blow it."

"But I wouldn't have known if you just had casual sex, Ryan. And besides I didn't have any claim on you."

She leveled her gaze and stared deeply into her friend's eyes for a long moment. "I would have known, Jamie. Casual sex didn't have any interest for me once I thought I could have a real relationship with you. Actually, Ally called me the week after our little chat about being together. I had dinner with her but I told her all about you and explained that I couldn't have sex with her or anyone else until I knew where I stood with you. And let me correct one little thing, Jamie, you've always had a claim on me," she said as she crossed over to her chair and kissed her soundly. "You just didn't always know it."

"Whoa," Jamie said as she pulled away from Ryan's smiling face. "I think we need to set some ground rules for the physical side of this relationship, because that kiss almost made me forget my principles!" Ryan returned to her seat as Jamie began, "Let's start with tonight. Will it bother you to snuggle in bed?"

"It'll bother me if we don't!" Ryan said with wide eyes.

"You don't know how relieved that makes me," Jamie said winsomely. "Part of the reason I eventually decided to sleep with Jack was just so we could lie in bed and cuddle. But even though he did it, you could just tell it wasn't his idea."

"You are in luck, Ms. Evans. I am a certified cuddle
-
a
-
holic. I absolutely, positively love to cuddle and I do it with every person who will let me. And it doesn't have to be connected to sex either. I cuddle Caitlin when we nap together, and I've even been known to snuggle up to Duffy when I'm feeling touch deprived."

"Excellent," she gleefully replied. "Since we're not going to have sex right away I think we need to stay away from each other's umm…erogenous zones," she said with a fierce blush. "Is that okay?"

"Jamie, do you really think I could touch your erogenous zones and stop there? That's an obvious rule."

"How about hugging?"

"I'm in favor of as much hugging as I can get."

"Done," she agreed. "What else should we cover?"

"How do you feel about indirect hugs, say for instance, sitting on my lap?" she asked with a crooked grin.

"Don't you mean sitting on each other's laps? Shouldn't this be an equal partnership?"

"That's a very good point," Ryan said as she walked over to the chair and climbed aboard Jamie's small lap. "Umm, I like this," she enthused as she tried to ignore the strangled breath Jamie was trying to take. "How about you?"

"HELP!" she finally cried, much to Ryan's howling amusement.

"I'm not putting you down Jamie, but I weigh a lot more than you do. It just makes sense that I'll be the sittee and you'll be the sitter. Let's switch."

As soon as they did so, Jamie enthusiastically agreed that lap sitting was not only allowed, it was a clear requirement. "God, this feels good," she mumbled into Ryan's terry cloth-clad shoulder. The rhythmic trailing of Ryan's hand through her hair, the clean sweet smell of her skin and the warmth of the fireplace were combining to relax her so thoroughly that she feared she would fall asleep right where she lay. "We could just stay right here," she sleepily suggested.

"I could do that," Ryan agreed as her fresh minty breath ruffled the blonde hair hanging over Jamie's eyes.

"I've never felt safer or more secure," she said softly. "I just don't think you could make me any happier."

"Mind if I try?" she asked with a dangerously raised eyebrow.

Jamie felt most of her sleepiness leave her body as she cautiously shook her head.

Ryan pulled her in a little closer and effortlessly stood. Jamie's arms tightened reflexively around her neck as they crossed the room to stand by the bed. Squatting down just a bit Ryan reached down with her free hand and deftly pulled the covers back. She leaned over and softly deposited the small woman right in the middle of the bed. As Jamie released her hold she kissed her lightly and ordered, "Don't go away." Dashing around to the other side of the bed she quickly got in and drew the covers over both of their bodies. She adjusted her robe and scooted over to the middle of the bed, enveloping Jamie in a tender full body hug. When it became obvious that Ryan was only planning on hugging her, the smaller woman felt all of the tension leave her body as she relaxed into the warm, reassuring hug. After a moment she gave Ryan a sweet smile and said, "Now I really don't think you could make me any happier."

As Ryan bent to taste her lips she lightly rubbed noses and threatened, "Don't tempt me!"

They luxuriated in the tender embrace, soaking up the sensations of warm, clean, relaxed bodies, and gentle kisses.

Feeling a bit emboldened, Jamie slid her hand behind Ryan's head and pulled her close for a number of
mind-numbing
kisses. Ryan could feel her control begin to slip so she regretfully pulled away and gasped, "We need some kissing rules, and we need them quick!"

"Okay," Jamie agreed with a giggle. "What do you have in mind?"

"I think we need to stick to fairly chaste kisses," Ryan said thoughtfully. "I have lots of self-control if I don't get started, but it tends to fade away once my motor gets running."

"I can live with that," Jamie replied. "Let's make it a rule. Chaste kisses only," she said with a giggle as she practiced on a willing Ryan.

The first rule was shattered approximately three minutes after it was instituted. Ryan pulled back from a searing kiss and tried to focus her eyes. "What happened?" she asked groggily.

Jamie smiled up sweetly at her, "I got carried away?" she said by way of explanation.

"Do we try to live by the rule or would you like to make a friendly amendment?" Ryan asked with a definite leer.

"I think we had better try to live with the rule, much as I hate to. I really don't feel ready yet and I want it to be special when it happens."

"Oh, I guarantee it will be special," Ryan said with an even bigger leer as she broke the rule one last time.

After the lights were turned off they moved around a little trying to get comfortable in their bulky robes. It was tough to find a good position but they finally settled down with Jamie lying on her left side with Ryan spooned up against her back. Ryan's right arm was tucked around her waist and their heads rested on the same large fluffy pillow. "You have the sweetest smelling neck," Ryan murmured sleepily as she felt some of the tension of the day draining from her body. "You're the first person I've ever met that could give Caitlin a run for her money."

Jamie smiled at the compliment but Ryan couldn't see her face so she added a little squeeze of her hand to make sure she knew it had been heard. "This is an awfully nice way to sleep, isn't it?" Jamie asked a few moments later.

"The best," Ryan agreed as her warm breath tickled the back of her partner's neck. "The first night of many thousands," she pledged.

Ryan felt her eyes grow heavy as Jamie's slow, deep breathing caused her to relax even more fully. But just as she was about to drift off she got a stab of anxiety in her chest, causing her to flinch perceptibly. "Are you okay?" Jamie's now alert voice asked.

"Yeah, just had that falling sensation I sometimes get when I'm half asleep," she said, in a partial truth. As Jamie settled back down Ryan tried to slow her racing heart.
Yeah, Ryan
, she said to herself.
This is about falling. Only this time the falling sensation is falling in love!
She reassured herself as best she could but a nagging doubt was burrowing into her subconscious.
God, I know I could make love to Jamie a million different ways—and I'm sure that I won't have any problem pleasing her physically. But this isn't about that! I've been with so many women…but none of them really mattered to me. I tried to please them but I concentrated on my sexual prowess to do so. I can't rely on that with Jamie, though
, she acknowledged.
She's not going to base her opinion of me on how many orgasms I give her. She's going to love me based on the real me—on how open and connected and intimate I can be with her.
She sucked in a deep breath as her stomach did a little flip.
This is scary!
She tightened her hold a little and nuzzled her head against Jamie's neck, willing the sweet smell to help calm her racing heart.
It's okay
, she repeated again and again.
She loves you and she'll work with you to be more intimate. It will work out if you try hard enough, Ryan. She loves you enough to take that risk
. She was still reassuring herself 15 minutes later as she drifted off into an exhausted slumber.

Ryan's convulsive hold on Jamie's waist woke her abruptly an hour later.
She's twitching as bad as Duffy does when he sleeps
, she mused with a little smile as she gently patted her arm.
Boy, I hope that's not a normal occurrence
, she added with a start.
I could get bruised from those big muscular arms grabbing me all night.

As soon as those words hit her brain Jamie's stomach clenched nervously.
I can't get nervous every time I think of her touching me!
she complained to her balky stomach.
I want her to touch me
, she argued with herself.
I really do!
she added to the part of herself that scoffed at her previous statement.
It's just that I'm anxious about the physical part
. After a pause she admitted,
Okay, okay, I admit that's a pretty big part. But I know I won't have much trouble loving her in every other way. She's just so easy to love
, she thought with a contented smile.
She's so easy to talk to and share things with. I know we'll be okay as long as we can keep doing that
, she thought decisively.
She'll help me figure out how to love her physically
. She giggled quietly as she added,
At least I picked an expert!

Just before dawn Jamie awoke to feel the most exquisite sense of contentment she could ever remember. She was pressed up against her friend's warm side and she smiled to herself when she felt Ryan's fingers tangled in her hair. Ryan was lying on her back and to Jamie's intense interest her robe had opened slightly during the night. The right half of her tempting left breast peeked out at Jamie and nearly begged to be touched. She felt an overpowering desire to do just that and felt herself almost automatically give in to the pull. Her hand moved slowly toward its target, being careful not to wake Ryan. She cautiously reached out to move the robe just a tiny bit further open. Then she slid her hand into the garment and was rewarded with a deep rumbling laugh. "I'm not going to vote for you as sergeant-of-arms," Ryan said as she turned to face the thoroughly embarrassed woman. "You obviously have no respect for the rules," she said with a big smile as she reached up and lightly touched Jamie's lips with her own.

Jamie dropped her head onto Ryan's terry cloth-covered chest. "God, I'm so embarrassed," she moaned into the fabric.

"There is nothing to be embarrassed about Jamie. This is all really new for you and you're just trying to feel comfortable." As she lifted Jamie's chin away from her chest she said seriously, "If you want to touch me, it's perfectly all right with me. I won't even think of it as a sexual touch. It can be like a little science experiment," she suggested.

"No. I...I...I'm too embarrassed now. It was only because you were asleep that I wanted to," she admitted shyly.

"Do you want me to pretend I'm asleep?" she asked, only partially kidding.

"No. I'm sure I'll have other opportunities," she replied with a small smile.

"More than you will be able to count. I promise," Ryan said as she gazed lovingly into her eyes.

A few more minutes of cuddling and then they each took a long shower and got back into their bike clothes. After a delicious breakfast in the lovely little dining room they retrieved their bikes and took off.