Before Sunrise (29 page)

“
Do you like it?
Work?”

She relaxed just a little. She tilted her
head and looked to the ceiling as if thinking on it. “On most days,
yes. Pay is bleh, but I learn a lot. They’re defense attorneys. I
used to think all clients were wrongfully accused. Remember I
wanted to study civil rights law at UNC? My eyes have been opened
to the nasty business of defending the ones that are guilty as sin.
I think of going back to law school at times though, but Phil
doesn’t want…” she bit down on her bottom lip.

Liam chuckled. “It’s okay. I’m sitting on
the man’s sofa, drinking his beer. I think I can handle his
name.”

She gave him a half smile but the tension
between them returned. He pulled his hand from hers so she could
stop being fixated on it. He’d rather she be fixated on him. “I
wish you could have gotten your law degree. I know how much you
wanted it.”

“
Liam?”

“
Yes.”

“
The reason why I didn’t
agree to go to the Marriott with you—”

“
Is because you’re still not
sure.” He tossed back another swig of beer.

“
No. It’s because I am. If I
leave here with you, I’ll want it all with you.”

When Liam looked over, he knew she meant
physically. He wanted the same thing. Oh, how he wanted it. But she
held back from him and he had to know why. “What’s wrong with
wanting it all?”

“
Are you sure you’re ready
to accept the changes in my life? Sometimes you seem so angry, so
hurt. And you saw Mackenzie, she isn’t ready. I know time has
slipped from us, but that doesn’t mean it will again. I don’t want
to make any mistakes. None. I owe Phil closure, and an answer. I
owe Mackenzie security. And I owe you a lifetime of making up to
you all those moments we’ve missed.”

“
You don’t owe me anything,
Kay.” Liam cut his eyes away. He didn’t want her pity. He wouldn’t
put up with it.

“
Liam, look at me. Mackenzie
is really my number one concern here. She’s had a lot happen in the
past day or so. It’s exciting for her now. Soon she will want her
routine. Kids do. It’s their security. We have to be conscious of
that. And I know this hurts but Phil has a strong bond with her.
I’m not going to end that. We have to do this right.”

“
You mean
counseling?”

“
Can you consider it? For us
to go through this together.”

“
You’re right.”

“
Come again?” She
laughed.

Liam smiled and downed the rest of his beer.
“You’re different, Kay.”

“
Am I?”

“
I like it,” he confessed.
“You’re more confident, wise, and you’re a mother. That’s really
sexy.”

Kennedy shook her head. “Thanks, but the
confidence is just a show. I’m winging it here.”

“
No. It’s you. I caught you
off guard; I used all my old tricks on you to get you into my arms.
But look at you, you’re protecting our daughter. I even think
you’re protecting me from me. Making sure we can do this right. I
respect that. Especially since when I’m near you I can’t
concentrate.”

Her silence caused him to glance over. She
looked as if she wanted to say something. “What is it?”

“
I just missed you so
much.”

“
Come here. Closer. I won’t
bite, unless you want me to.”

Kennedy moved in and he dropped his arm
around her shoulder. He inhaled her scent and it soothed him. “Do
you know what I was thinking of earlier?”

“
What?” she asked
softly.

“
I was thinking about the
time when we were caught by your folks. How your dad called the
police on me. The feeling I had when I thought I might lose you. It
was a different feeling than the one in that desert. In the desert
I hadn’t lost you, I was just fighting to survive to get back to
you. Back then, with your folks I mean, when they took you from me,
I couldn’t breathe. Kind of how it is now between me you and Phil.
As if I’m really not entitled or deserving of you. I hurt your
parents and Harper by convincing you to run away with me. I was
selfish then. I hate Phil, but I know he protected and cared for
you when I couldn’t. I can’t be selfish now. But don’t get me
wrong. I want to be selfish, I want to tear this fucking place
apart and burn it to the ground. I want to take you and Mackenzie
away from here, from the fucking Navy, from your job and new
friends, from our old friends. I want to go somewhere no one can
touch us. I’m sorry Kennedy, I know it sounds crazy,
but—”

“
It sounds romantic,” she
said. “It’s okay to want a fresh start. You’ve earned it. I want
the fresh start, too.”

He looked over at her, hoping he didn’t see
pity in her eyes. He felt such relief when he didn’t. She was still
his Kay. “You remember when I snuck to your school and grabbed you
after your volleyball practice? How I told you that I was living
out of my car and I had to make a move?”

“
You were
leaving.”

“
I wanted you to run away
with me. You remember what you said to me?”

“
I’ll go anywhere with you,
Liam. I have no choice. I love you,” she repeated, and smiled
fondly.

He hoped that decision hadn’t caused her a
lot of pain. He had to wonder. “You have a choice now, Kay. I don’t
want you out of guilt or obligation. If you did find something with
Phil that I couldn’t give….”

She put a finger to her lips. “I won’t
compare you. There’s no need. He’s not even close, Liam. You’ve
always been the man for me.”

“
Then show me.”

Kennedy had little chance to respond. He
drew her in by the neck and pulled her legs up over his lap. His
lips brushed hers as his hand crept under the hem of her skirt. Her
skin was so damn soft. Always so soft. She exhaled, parting lips
plump and full. Immediately he was reminded of how she’d used her
mouth on him. From her sweet kisses to the way she swallowed his
cock. Liam groaned and kissed her deeply, forcing her back on the
sofa. His hand touched between her tightly pressed together thighs.
She soon parted them and he discovered how moist she was there. He
shivered, feeling the thin lace covering the swollen lips of her
sex.

There came a knock at the door and the phone
began to ring.

“
Liam, we have to
stop.”

“
They’ll go away,” he
groaned, sliding the seat of her panty aside to touch
her.

Kennedy pushed at his shoulders when he
eased a finger inside of her. Tight, wet heat. He nearly lost his
mind.

“
Liam, let me up,
please.”

She panted and he gave her another finger,
licking the side of her neck, nipping at her racing pulse. The
phone stopped ringing but the person at the door kept knocking.
Liam wanted to rip the dress from her and fuck her into the sofa.
He felt her moving under him as he pumped his two middle fingers in
and out of her tight hole, slick with her juices. She gripped his
shoulder.

“
Don’t do this, not like
this. Stop,” she pleaded. And he heard her.

He withdrew his hand.
Kennedy quickly pulled down her skirt, blushing with him. Did she
not want him?
Fuck, I am so
stupid.

The phone started ringing again. And then
the knocking resumed.

Kennedy couldn’t look at him when she rose
and fixed her dress. He’d blown it. He knew he’d fuck up and he
did.

“
Can you get the door? I
need to get the phone,” she mumbled at him.

She hurried away, avoiding looking at him.
Liam groaned. He grabbed his cane and limped to the front of the
house. Steeling himself, he opened the door with a tight, grim fix
to his jaw.

“
Mom?”

Sally glared up at him and marched in. “I
knew you would be here. The problem is, nobody bothered to tell
me.”

“
Hello?” Kennedy panted,
going to the fridge to get a bottle of water to cool down. Another
moment and she’d have been screwing him on the couch. That would
have been a disaster. She couldn’t dare approach sex with him until
she knew for certain about her pregnancy. She felt such shame and
disappointment for letting things advance as far as they
had.

“
So he’s been there all
day?”

“
Phil?”

“
You remember my
name?”

Kennedy winced under the piercing stab of
guilt. “I-I was going to call you.”

“
Don’t lie to me, Kennedy.
And please don’t play me stupid. You think those men posted at my
house didn’t tell me he’s been there all day? Hell, all I had to do
was turn on the TV and watch the people coming and going
from
my
damn
house.”

“
He came to see
Mackenzie.”

“
Right.”

“
Phil, we-we need to
talk.”

“
So I take it tomorrow is my
day. All day? With you and Mac? So we can talk, the same way you
have been with Liam?”

“
Well…I think—”

“
I won’t be an afterthought
for you, Kennedy. You owe me more respect than this. Damn it,
you
are
my
wife!”

Kennedy sighed. She heard elevated voices
from the living room. It sounded like…Sally? “I have to go.”

“
I will be there in the
morning. Do you hear me? I don’t want him there when I
arrive.”

He hung up on her. Kennedy guessed she
deserved that. Still, she felt her anger swelling in her chest.
She’d get a test and take it tomorrow, seven days be damned. No.
She’d go to the doctor and get a blood test. A blood test would
answer the question once and for all. Then they’d have the talk. It
was time to move her family forward and free Phil as well. She
cared deeply for him, loved him in her own way. But they never
shared the kind of love Phil deserved. She felt sick about the
liberties she’d taken with his heart.

When she walked into the living room she saw
Sally, eyes red and weepy, her nose running. Kennedy could see pain
etched all over her face.

“
Kennedy, you of all people.
How could you not call me? Why? I had to hear it from a stranger
while on my retreat. I drove straight here. Am I not even worth a
phone call from either of you?”

“
Sally, I’m sorry. I was
blindsided by it all, I really was. I’m sorry.” She went to her
mother-in-law and hugged her. To this, Liam frowned. Sally never
liked Kennedy when Liam was alive. But she tried to get Liam to let
her back into his life. What Liam didn’t know is that they’d bonded
over his supposed death. How could they not? They were the two who
mourned him the most. She thought Liam had let his bitterness
toward his mother go. From over Sally’s shoulder, Kennedy saw that
wasn’t the case.

“
I’m sorry.”

“
It’s okay.” Sally managed a
smile. She glanced over to her son. “Can you give us a minute
alone, Kennedy?”

Liam walked away from his mother in
disgust.

“
Sure. I’ll go upstairs and
check on Mackenzie. Take all the time you need.

“
Well? Aren’t you going to
say anything?”

Liam returned to his seat on the sofa. He
was so close. Kennedy had softened to him. She would have been his.
Then of course Sally had to show up. Her timing had always been the
worst. He’d pretended at forgiveness the year before he left for
the war, mostly because Kennedy was so adamant about healing with
their families before they started their own. She mended her
relationship with her parents and wanted him to do the same. He
blamed Sally for choosing his stepfather. For being so absent as a
mother, up until his sister’s death. He blamed her for many
things.

“
Liam? Do you know how I’ve
prayed? How hard I’ve prayed.”

“
Look mom, it’s only been a
few days. I wanted to see Kay, and then I found her married. Things
have been difficult. I don’t need you here making it
worse.”

“
Oh, sweetheart, I know it
has. You must have been in shock to find her remarried.” She
hurried over to the sofa and sat next to him. She put her hand on
his knee, and he cut his eyes at her. She moved away. “Liam, first
tell me how are you? Please.”

“
I’m fine.”

“
Are you…because you have
that thing.” Her eyes went to the cane. “You’re a
cripple.”

“
What did you call
me?”

“
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it
that way, it’s just that thing….”

Liam lifted it with a bitter chuckle. “What
this? It’s called a cane. And I’m still a man with it,” he snapped.
“Of course you only think a man’s a real man when he’s pounding his
fist into your skull.”

Sally paled. Her eyes widened with hurt, and
she withdrew. “I’m sorry, Liam. Don’t be cross with me. I just, I’m
sorry.”

“
It’s not a good time, mom.
Can we do this some other time? I can’t deal with you right
now.”

He hurt her. When he looked over he saw her
bottom lip quivering and her face flushed with ageless hurt. He
didn’t know if he meant to or not, but if Kennedy saw her this way
she’d read too much into it. He was losing it. All he wanted was
Kennedy and Mackenzie. Not this shit. Why wouldn’t everyone leave
him the hell alone?

Liam tried to rein in his
emotions. He felt like the walls of that desert hole were pouring
in sand on him again, threatening to bury him alive. He couldn’t
breathe with Sally so close.
Fuck! Why
won’t she just go away.