Beauty for ashes: receiving emotional healing (28 page)

Likewise, people did not like Daniel because he was a godly man who kept shaking off rejection. He was so disliked that he was thrown into a den of hungry lions, but God shut the mouths of the lions. When the king saw what God had done for Daniel, he proclaimed: "I make a decree that in all my royal dominion men must tremble and fear before the God of Daniel, for He is the living God, enduringandsteadfast

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forever, and His kingdom shall not be destroyed and His dominion shall be even to the end [of the world]" (Daniel 6:26).Daniel's steadfast walk with God inspired an entire nation to believe that God "is a Savior and Deliverer, and He works signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth-He Who has delivered Daniel from the power of the lions" (Daniel 6:27).

In Paul's letter to the Thessalonians, beginning in 2 Thessalonians 1:3, he gave thanks because believers were growing in faith, their love for each other was increasing, and they were steadfast in the midst of persecutions and crushing distresses.

In verse 6, Paul reassured believers that God would repay with distress and affliction those who distressed and afflicted them. Then he wrote of God's determination to reward them:

And to [recompense] you who are so distressedandafflicted [by granting you] reliefandrest along with us [your fellow sufferers] when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven with His mighty angels in a flame of fire,

To deal out retribution (chastisement and vengeance) upon those who do not knoworperceiveorbecome acquainted with God, and [upon those] who ignoreandrefuse to obey the Gospel of our Lord JesusChrist"(2 Thessalonians 1:7-8).

So if you are persecuted for doing what is right in the eyes of God, rejoice. The apostle Peter said, "[After all] what kind of glory [is there in it] if, when you do wrong and are punished for it, you take it patiently? But if you bear patiently with suffering [which results] when you do rightandthat is undeserved, it is acceptableandpleasing to God" (1 Peter 2:20).

When you suffer for doing right, Jesus calls you blessed, saying: "Blessedandhappyandenviably fortunateandspiritually

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prosperous (in the state in which the born-again child of God enjoys and finds satisfaction in God's favor and salvation, regardless of his outward conditions) are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake (for being and doing right), for theirs is the kingdom of heaven!" (Matthew 5:10)Peter had to shake off failure, Paul had to shake off rejection, and you are going to have to shake off both failure and rejection if you want to be used by God. But a double reward is in store for you.

Shake off unforgiveness, resentment, trouble, and self-pity. Shake off rejection, offense, betrayal, gossip, judgment, and the kiss of Judas. Shake off arguments with relatives, close friends, and strangers. Shake off your own failures and mistakes. Shake off disappointment over your own imperfection.

Just get over it, and go on.

The season for mourning is over. It is time to rejoice.

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Miraculous RewardAs I was proofreading the manuscript for the first release of this book, God moved in a mighty way and brought deliverance and healing to the relationship between my father and me. I do not believe it was accidental that a miraculous conclusion of my story came in time for me to incorporate it into this book.

Although I had forgiven my father, our relationship had remained strained and uncomfortable. He had never fully accepted responsibility for his acts or faced how devastating his behavior was to my life. Through the years, I tried the best I knew how to have some kind of relationship with my parents, but it was a continual challenge.

I tried on two occasions to confront these issues with my father and mother, but neither of these efforts was successful. Each confrontation brought a lot of anger, upset, and blame, without any real conclusion. At least the door had been opened, and God was working in secret, behind the scenes, even when it seemed that nothing would ever change.

AfterIhad moved my parents to live near me, God began

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dealing with me about the biblical command to "honor your father and mother" (see Exodus 20:12). I must be truthful and say that although I was willing to honor them and desired to do so, I was baffled as to how to go about it. I visited them, called them, prayed for them, and took them presents, but still the Lord would say to me, "Honor your father and mother." I knew He was trying to show me something, but I could not grasp what it was.Finally, one evening as I heard again, "Honor your father and mother," I told the Lord that I had done everything for them I knew to do, and that I did not know what else it was He wanted.

Then I heard Him say, "Honor them in your heart," to which I replied, "For what can I honor them?" He showed me that I could honor them and appreciate them, in my heart, for giving me my life, for feeding and clothing me, and for sending me to school.

I had been doing things for them outwardly, but God looks on the heart. I found it difficult to have fond feelings of appreciation when all I remembered was pain, but after hearing the same thing for a year from the Lord, I knew that it was important, so I did what He said.

I prayed, "Thank You, God, for my parents and the fact that they gave me my physical life. They brought me into the world; they fed me, clothed me, and sent me to school, and I honor them for doing so." I really saw what God was saying, and that momentItruly did appreciate the part my parents had played in my life.

About a week later, an issue arose concerning our newly released national television program,Life In The Word.I received news that my family members had seen the program and were urging my parents to watch it. My father and mother asked me what channel they could see the program on, and I realized that I needed to tell them I would be making reference to the

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abuse in my childhood because God had called me to help people who have been abused and mistreated.I could not imagine what it would do to them if they tuned in their television set and heard me saying, "I come from a background of child abuse." I did not want to hurt them. I felt awful, but what could I do? Knowing that people find it easy to relate to me because I share my background so openly, I went into much prayer, and then called for a family conference with my husband, Dave, and our children. We decided that even though letting my parents know that what I was doing could finish off what little relationship we had left, I had to follow God's will for my life.

We went to visit them, and I shared the truth, telling them that I was not doing it to hurt them, but that I had no choice if I was to help the people God had called me to help.

I saw the miracle-working power of God!

My father and mother sat there and listened calmly. No anger was displayed; there were no accusations, no running from the truth.

My father then shared with Dave and me how sorry he was for what he had done to me. He said that God knew he was sorry and that if there was any way he could take it back, he would. He told me how he had been controlled and could not have prevented himself from what he was doing. He said that he had encountered abuse as a child himself, and was acting out of what he had learned and had become accustomed to.

He further shared that recently he had watched several television programs on abuse and had begun to realize from them how devastating sexual abuse really is. He released me to share whatever I needed to and told me not to worry about anything. He said that he wanted to build a relationship with me and try to be my father and my friend. My mother, of course, was ecstatic with joy at the thought of being able to

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have real relationships with her daughter, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.From that day forth, we started to see some changes in my father. He would go to church for special services on Easter or Christmas, but he never really said too much about it. He still had not given his heart to Jesus, and he was still difficult to get along with. Eventually, my mother told me that she felt that God might be dealing with my father. She said, "I have found him several times, sitting on the edge of his bed crying."

Then, one Thanksgiving morning my mother called and said, "Your dad is too sick to go to the family dinner today. He wishes he could come, but he just feels too bad, but he wants to know if you and Dave will come over and see him. He wants to talk to you about something."

So we went over, and the minute we walked into the room he started crying. He said, "I just need to tell you how sorry I am for whatIdid to you. I have wanted to say something about it for three years, but I just did not have the guts."

Those were his exact words. It is interesting to look back and see that it had beenthree yearssince we bought my parents the house and moved them to live near us. So our initial act of obedience to the Lord's direction was a seed that had been planted to break the devil's back in my father's situation. Then he wept with true repentance. I said, "It's all right, Daddy,Iforgive you."

He asked Dave to forgive him too, and Dave said, "I forgive you."

Then I said to my father, "Do you want to receive Christ as your Savior?"

And he said, "Yes."

Because he had truly repented, it was totally different this time when he prayed. He received the Lord, and though he struggled with doubt for several days, thinking that he had been too bad to be forgiven, he finally asked to be baptized.

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We baptized my dad ten days later. I can tell you honestly that I have never seen such a change in a person's character. He is still sick, and he feels bad all the time, but he never really complains. He is actually one of the sweetest men I know.Did my dad pay the price for what he did? Absolutely! He is old and does not have a lot of friends. He cannot really get around. But I truly believe that showing him love, consistent love, and obeying God by honoring him in my heart, is what finally tore down that wall around him and caused him to repent.

My husband, Dave, told my dad that the day of his repentance was one of the greatest days in his life. As for me, I now fully understand God's promise, spoken through the prophet Isaiah: "Instead of your [former] shame you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonorandreproach [your people] shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double [what they had forfeited]; everlasting joy shall be theirs" (Isaiah 61:7). We have received a double blessing! God has restored both the abusedand the abuser!

God is faithful! Dream big dreams, and never stop hoping!

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Notes1. James Strong, "Greek Dictionary of the New Testament,"Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible(Nashville: Abingdon, 1890), p. 39, entry #2588, s.v. "heart(ed)," Luke 4:18.

2. Strong, p. 69, entry #4937, s.v. "broken," Luke 4:18.

3.Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, Tenth Edition,s.v. "abuse."

4. To hear my complete testimony, write and ask for my tape album titled "Trophies of God's Grace."

5. I also have available a series of tapes called "Loving God, Loving Yourself, and Loving Others" that you can order from our ministry address.

6. To learn more about deliverance from guilt and condemnation, write me and ask for my four-tape series on this subject,Guilt and Condemnation.

7.Strong,"Hebrew and Chaldee Dictionary," p. 19, entry #954, s.v. "ashamed," Genesis 2:25.

8. Webster's NewWorld Dictionary, 3rdcollege ed., s.v. "confound."

9. Ibid., s.v. "damn."

10. If you would like more teaching on God's grace, write and ask for my six-tape album titled "Grace, Grace, and More Grace."

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11. Merriam-Webster'sCollegiate Dictionary, Tenth Edition,s.v. "covet."12. Ibid., s.v. "envy."

13. Ibid., s.v. "jealousy."

14. Ibid., s.v. "drink."

15. (Eugene, OR: Harvest House, 1986), p. 13.

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