Beautiful Mess (9 page)

“You
have to understand that by that point I thought I was in love with him.  I
mistook infatuation for love, and I didn’t want to disappoint him.  I
thought he loved me, too, but I was stupid and naive,” she shook her head.

“What
happened?” Cole asked after a moment.

“We
went downtown with his friends and their girlfriends.  We went to the
party, and Jeremy and his friends had a lot to drink.  Soon I got tired
and bored, and told Jeremy I wanted to go back to the hotel.  So we left
his friends, and he led me up to what I thought was my room.  But once I
walked in and saw both of our bags, I knew he’d never intended on getting me a
room.  This had been his plan all along.

“He
tried to make a move, and I shut him down.  I grabbed my bag and told him
I was leaving.  Then he got angry.

“He
told me what a worthless, waste of time I’d been, how I’d never thought or
cared about his needs.  He told me he couldn’t believe he’d wasted three
months on me, and for nothing.  And he said that he’d waited long enough
and if I didn’t give him what he wanted, we were through.  Of course, he
used some much more, um, colorful language. 

“So,
what did you do?”

Bri
scoffed.  “I did what any self-respecting girl would do.  I told him
to F-off and I left.”

Cole
smiled his approval.  “Good for you.”

“Yeah,
well, walking out was the easy part.  The aftermath was a little
harder.  Finding out the guy you thought you thought you were in love with
couldn’t care less about you and only wanted to get in your pants, was kind of
an ego killer,” she smiled humorlessly.  “After that, I swore off dating
football players.  Well, I guess I swore off dating, period.  Not
that I had much opportunity.  Jeremy spread enough rumors about me that no
one would come near me.  I guess he decided that if he wasn’t getting any
from me, no one else would, either.  Did I mention he was a bit
territorial?”

“Ambria,
I’m so sorry,” Cole said sadly.  “That guy is a complete and total
dickhead.  He didn’t deserve you.”

“Thanks,”
Bri shrugged.  “What about you?  Did your ex break your heart?” 
Cole shook his head.  “Oh, no, you’re not getting out of this!  I
spilled my guts, and now it’s your turn.  That’s how this works.” 
She eyed him challengingly.  “Come on.  Or I won’t tell you anything
else.”

“Alright,
fine,” he sighed.  “To answer your question, no, she didn’t break my
heart.  But I think I broke hers.”  He looked down.

“What
happened?”

“I
told you I don’t have many close friends, right?”  Bri nodded. 
“Well, the girls I dated were just that, dates.  I didn’t get
attached.  We’d go out, have a good time, things would run their course
and I’d move on.  Nothing serious.  That was how I wanted it.
 But, I was lonely, though I hated admitting it to myself.  I was
dating this girl at the time, and I liked her.  She was pushing for more
commitment, so I thought what the hell.  I’d give it a try.

“So,
we got serious.  I stopped dating other girls and she became my
girlfriend.  After a couple of months, though, things began to change, and
I think she fell in love with me.  At least as much as she was capable
of.  When I realized this, I looked at my own feelings for her, and I
found that I didn’t really have any.  Don’t get me wrong, I was definitely
attracted to her.  And I enjoyed all the benefits of being a couple.”

He
grinned brazenly at her, and Bri rolled her eyes at his innuendo.

“But
there wasn’t anything more than that.  Nothing deeper.  I kept going,
hoping that I would eventually develop some sort of feelings for her, but I
didn’t.  Then one day, she told me she loved me.  I knew I’d never be
able to reciprocate her feelings, or give her what she needed emotionally. 
So I did the only thing I could.  I broke up with her.”  Cole hung
his head in shame.  “I know this sounds awful, and I sound like a total
ass.  But I had to be fair to her.  I couldn’t keep stringing her
along in the hope that one day something would change.  I did what I
thought was right.”

Bri
nodded.  “And how did she take it?”

“Not
well,” he smirked.  “She had a few choice expletives for me.  But
eventually she realized it was for the best, and stopped loathing me with a
vengeance.  Now we’re kind of  friends again.”

“Really?”
Bri was skeptical.  “Can you do that?  Just go back to being friends
after all that?  I didn’t think that worked out very well.”

Cole
shrugged.  “Maybe not for most people.  But I’m still friends with
some of the girls I’ve dated.”

That
sounded odd to Bri, but she didn’t want to push it.

“And
you haven’t had any other girlfriends?”

“Nope. 
I kind of swore off relationships.”

“Oh.” 
Bri found she was disappointed to hear that.

“At
least, until I met you,” Cole grabbed her hand, and she looked up at him. 
“You give me hope.”

She
smiled.  “You give me hope, too,” she said truthfully.  “Cole, when
school starts a lot of things are going to change.”  Bri gave voice to the
nagging worries she’d had all week.  Change was coming, she could feel
it.  It scared her to think that things between her and Cole might not be
the same in a few days.

“Why
would you think that?” he asked warily.

“Come
on, you have a life and friends outside of me.  We’ll have practices, and
homework, and other commitments.  Our little bubble we’ve been living in
is about to pop.  I’m just a little sad, is all.”  She stopped
walking and turned to face him.  “If I ask you, will you promise me
something?”

Cole
lifted her hand, still entwined in his, and kissed her knuckles.  “If I can.”

“Will
you promise me that no matter what happens next week, or in the coming weeks,
this, you and me,” she motioned between them, “won’t change?”

He
suddenly looked heartbroken.  Bri didn’t understand what she’d said that
would make him so sad.  She squeezed his hand reassuringly. 
“Please?”

“Yes,”
he replied softly.  “I promise you that I will always care about you, no
matter what happens.  Will you promise me you’ll believe that? 
Please?”

“I
promise,” she whispered.

“Good,”
he replied with a sad smile.

Nothing
would come between them.  They were friends, on their way to becoming much
more.  They had a connection that would not be easily broken.  Bri
reassured herself, over and over, that she had nothing to worry about as they
continued walking, hand in hand, down the beach, neither one willing to let go
just yet.

As
Bri lay in her bed that night, she was finally able to admit to herself that
she had fallen for Cole.  Hard.  And even though she was nervous, and
a little scared, about what that meant, for the first time in a long time, it
didn’t seem like such a bad thing.

Monday
morning dawned bright and early.  Bri knew this for a fact because she was
up well before dawn, and she wasn’t thrilled about it.  She walked through
the dark, cool summer morning into the school gym.  This six a.m. thing
was going to get old, fast.  As she entered, she was immediately accosted
by Belinda, the team advisor.

“Bri! 
So good to see you this morning!”  The woman was way too chipper for how early
it was.  “I have been thinking.  After seeing the routine you
performed at your tryout, I was wondering if you’d be willing to teach it to
the team for our competition dance routine?”

It
took Bri a moment to wrap her still half asleep brain around what Belinda was
saying.

“Um,
yeah, I guess, but isn’t that like dance plagiarism or something?  
I’m not sure how my old team would feel about that.”

“Don’t
worry about that,” Belinda waved it off.  “We only compete against
in-state teams.  There’s no way your team could possibly know.  So,
will you do it?  Please?  I think with your routine we have a great
shot at State!”

Bri
sighed.  “Sure, why not.” 

“Wonderful!,”
Belinda beamed.  “Let’s introduce you to the team, and tell them the great
news!”  Belinda pulled her in front of the now assembled team. 
Getting the girls attention, she began.  “Ladies, this is Ambria Donnelly,
the newest member of our team.  You all remember how impressed we were
with her at her audition.”

Judging
from the glares she received from at least half the team, Bri doubted they had
been impressed.

“Bri,
why don’t you tell us a little about yourself?” Belinda motioned for her to
continue.

“Okay,
I’m Bri, and I just moved here this summer from Dallas.  I was a junior
captain on my team last year, and a head captain before I had to move. 
I’ve been dancing since I was three, and taught at my studio for the past few
years.”  Bri noticed her speech wasn’t helping to eliminate the glares she
was still receiving.  Deciding a little brown nosing never hurt, she
changed tactics.

“Look,
I know I wasn’t here to practice with you all summer.  And I missed the
chance you all had to get to know each other and bond as a team.  But I
promise you that I will work my butt off to catch up on everything I
missed.  I am fully committed to this team, and I will do whatever you
need me to, to help make us successful,” she smiled at them all, hoping she’d
earned herself a reprieve from the hate.

“Thanks,
Bri, we’re all glad you’re here.  Now, I have asked Bri to teach us the
routine she performed at her audition, and we are going to use it as our dance
routine this year.  We’ll start learning next Monday.  Now, since Bri
wasn’t here to learn the military routine we worked on this summer, I need one
or two of you to volunteer to teach it to her and get her caught up. 
Anyone?”  Belinda eyed the team.

For
a moment, nobody moved.  But then, a hand went up in the back, from one of
the few girls who hadn’t been glaring at Bri.

“Layla,
thank you!  We’ll be starting our evening practices this Wednesday, from
six to nine.  You two can stay after and work until ten.  It
shouldn’t take you long.  Okay, everybody finish stretching.  We have
our first halftime performance in two weeks, and we need to get to work.”

Belinda
walked over to the stereo system to get the music ready.  As Bri began to
stretch, the girl who’d volunteered to help her walked up.

“Hi,”
the tall brunette said, smiling sincerely.  “I’m Layla Monroe.  And
before you ask, yes, that is my real name and not some stripper name I
adopted!”

Bri
laughed.  “I’m Bri.  Layla... that’s really pretty.  Like the
song.”  Bri hoped she didn’t come off as too eager, but she could really
use a friend on the team.  Someone who didn’t automatically loath her.

“Yep,
my parents are huge Eric Clapton fans.  In fact, it’s quite possible I was
conceived at an Eric Clapton concert,” Layla smiled.  “So, how are you
liking California?”

“It’s
nice,”  Bri paused as she was hit by the shoulder of one of the girls
walking by.  The fake blond turned and smirked at Bri over her shoulder.

“Real
nice, Natalie,” Layla yelled at the girl.  “Don’t worry about these guys,
they’ll get over themselves eventually,” she smiled at Bri
sympathetically.   “Just show them you really meant what you just
said, and they’ll come around.”

“Thanks,”
Bri smiled, gratefully.

Belinda
announced it was time to start, and practice got underway.  The two hours
flew by, and before she knew it, Bri found herself walking out of the gym and
into the school.  Ready or not,  it was time to face her first day at
Santa Monica High.

She
didn’t have time to stop at her locker, as her first, technically second, class
of the day was on the other side of the school.  She took a deep breath
and started down the hall.  She kept scanning the throng of students,
looking for a particular face, but she didn’t see him.  She knew she and
Cole had fifth period History together, and also seventh period Ceramics. 
She was unsure if she’d be able to find him before that.

Sliding
into a seat in her AP Calculus class, Bri pulled out her schedule.  She
groaned as she looked over it again.  Dance, AP Calc, French, AP English,
History, AP Biology, and Ceramics.  What had she been thinking?  She
must’ve had a death wish when she’d signed up for classes.  She was going
to be drowning in homework, and then had night practices on top of it. 
She’d be lucky if she survived until graduation.  But, it would be worth
it.  It was all about getting into Stanford.

Her
French class was back on the other side of the school, the scheduling gods
having a hay day with her, so it wasn’t until after third period that she was
finally able to stop at her locker and unload her backpack.  She had just
opened her locker door when she heard something that made her pause.

“Coleston,
my man!” a voice shouted.  It came from the bank of lockers around the
corner from Bri’s.  “How’s it hangin’, dude?  I didn’t see you all
summer.”

“That’s
because I was working.  You know, making money?  Something I don’t expect
a rich boy like you to understand!”  That was definitely Cole’s voice
laughing.  Bri quickly began putting her things away, wanting to pop
around the corner and say hi to him.

“Well,
at least tell me you found time for a little action, since you refused to come
have fun with us all summer,” the other voice said.

“Maybe
a little,” Cole replied smugly.

That
comment stopped Bri cold. 

“Dude,
I knew it!  So...?  I’m gonna need the details.”

“Well,
I met these cousins...” Cole began.

“Cousins,
huh?  Were they hot?”

“What
do you think?” Cole asked.  “One was tall, blond, and leggy.  The
other was shorter, auburn hair, and a body to keep you up at night!”

Bri’s
heart stopped.  Cole was talking about her and Carly.  But it was the
way he was talking that shocked her.  The smugness in his voice, the way
he was openly bragging about his supposed conquests, it didn’t sound like Cole
at all.

“A
redhead, huh?  I hear they are, um, feisty!”

“In
the best way!”

“So,
which one did you choose?”  The eagerness in the other guys voice was
unmistakable.

“Who
said I had to choose?”

“You
dog!” the other guy whooped.  “Dang, man, cousins!  Locals?”

“Nope,
tourists.”

“You
lucky SOB!  All the fun and no commitment!  You’re livin’ the dream,
man!”

There
was a pit forming in Bri’s stomach.  The Cole she knew didn’t act like
this.  She quickly thought back through their time together, and not once
did he act like the cocky jackass he was being now.  Was this who he
really was?  Was their whole friendship that summer a ruse?  Through
her shock, anger began to rise.

“Speaking
of redheads... have you seen the new girl?”

“No,
not yet,” Cole replied.  “Hot?”

“Oh,
yeah!  And,
damn
, has she got a rack on her!  You can just
tell she’s a little firecracker when she wants to be.  But she’s also got
this whole sweet and innocent vibe going on...  Ahhh, it’s driving me
crazy!”

Just
then, the warning bell rang, and Bri heard a locker slam shut.  She
quickly grabbed her things, not wanting to get caught eavesdropping.  Sure
enough, she had just shut her locker and turned, when she heard the boys turn
down the hall after her.

“Look,
that’s her,” Other Guy said loudly.  “Mmm, just look at the ass on
that!  What’d I tell you?”

“You
do know she can probably hear you, right?” Cole quipped.

“Girls
dig this stuff.  That’s right, Red,” he called down the hall to Bri. 
“I’m watching you walk, and I like what I see!”  Bri’s shoulders
stiffened, but she didn’t bother dignifying that with a response.  “You
see,” Other Guy said to Cole, “you have to make it clear that you’re
interested.  Chicks like that, it makes them feel special or
something.  I’m here whenever you’re ready, Red!”

Unable
to contain her anger and disdain any longer, Bri turned and leveled the meanest
glare she could at Cole, who looked a little confused by her animosity. 
His eyes flickered back to her locker, and understanding dawned.  As he
realized that she’d probably heard everything he’d said at his locker, all
color drained from his face. 

Satisfied,
she then turned her glare on the pig next to Cole.  She recognized Other
Guy from her French class.  Not the least deterred, the asshat laughed,
elbowing Cole.  Cole’s features instantly smoothed into amusement.

“Mmm,
feisty,” the guy relished.

Cole
chuckled and slapped his friend on the back.  “Yeah, good luck with that
one!  I’m outta here.”  He took off in the opposite direction,
without another glance. 

Bri
hurried down the hall and slipped into her English class just as the bell
rang.  She didn’t hear a thing her teacher said, as she explained the
class syllabus and reading lists.  Bri’s heart was pounding too loudly,
and her head was swimming.

What
the heck had just happened?  Cole was talking and acting just like every
other arrogant, self-absorbed jock with a god complex.  How was it
possible that this was the same person?  There wasn’t a trace of the
smart, funny, caring boy she’d spent the summer with.  This was
not
the person she’d fallen for.

Realization
struck her, and it sucked the breath right out of her.  It was all a
lie.  It had all been an act.  Every word, every action, had just
been a ploy to get close to her, to get what he wanted from her.  He was
just like all the rest of the guys out there, only interested in one thing. 
Cole was not who she thought he was.

Her
stomach churned, and she was afraid she was going to cry, or throw up, or both.

After
class was over, she sprinted to the girls’ bathroom, where she sat, trying not
to hyperventilate, in one of the stalls.  All her illusions came crashing
down around her, and her heart lurched in her chest.  But she refused to
let Cole hurt her like this.  She wouldn’t allow her heart to break over
someone as undeserving as him.  She sat for a few more minutes, bringing
her breath and emotions back under control.  She heard the warning bell
ring.  She was going to be late for class.  History... with
Cole.  She wasn’t sure she could handle class with him right now, but
she’d be damned if she was going to let him see he’d hurt her.  Because he
hadn’t.  Her resolve set, she left the restroom, but not before a lone
tear slipped down her cheek.  Dang it.  She wiped it furiously away.

Squaring
her shoulders, Bri walked in the door to History, and her traitorous eyes
immediately found Cole.  And wouldn’t you know it, sitting right next to
him was the Pig himself.  Of course the besties would have this class
together, with her.  Yes, the scheduling gods really did hate her. 

Bri
rolled her eyes at the huge grin that spread across Pig’s face, and she slid
into a desk on the other side of the room as the teacher began taking roll.

Trey
Woods, Bri could feel him leering at her all through class.  She did her
best to ignore him, both of them, but her body betrayed her again, and she
couldn’t help glancing over at Cole.  His face was expressionless, but
there was regret and sadness in his eyes each time they found hers. 

When
class was over, Bri hurried out of the room, but Cole was right on her tail.

“Bri,
wait!  Please!”

She
spun on him.  “What?” she demanded angrily.

“I
was hoping we could talk, that I could explain,” Cole said quietly, his eyes
darting around the hall, apprehensively.

“Explain
what?  That you’re nothing but a lying prick?  No thanks, I’ve
figured that one out already.”  She went to move past him, but he blocked
her.

“I
swear Bri, I can explain,” he said desperately.  “I’m not...”

“I’m
not interrupting something here, am I?” Trey walked up behind Cole. 
Though he was grinning, there was a tightness to his mouth.