Be My Baby (8 page)

"I don't know. I guess I felt it was time
for a new look maybe."

"I liked your old look just fine."

"Trey, you didn't come all this way to
discuss my hairstyle I'm sure."

"Tylar," he said with a sigh, "I want you to
come home. I want us to work this out. I want to do whatever it
takes to get our life back like it was before -"

"Before what, Trey? Before I caught you
making out with Amber? Before we lost our baby? How about we go
back to before I lost my sense of identity the minute that I fell
in love with you?"

"What are you saying, Tylar?"

"I guess I'm saying that
I'm not at all sure that I want to go back to the way it was
before
. It seems to have
led us to where we are right now Trey, which is
apart.
"

"That's my fault; I take total blame for us
being apart."

"Come on Trey, we both know that it takes
two to make a marriage work and two to make it fail."

"Is that how you see this, Tylar? Do you
believe that our marriage has failed?"

"I believe that our marriage is in trouble.
I'm not sure what to do to fix it, I guess."

Trey stood up and nervously raked a hand
through his hair as he walked to the mantle. When he turned around
to face me again I could see the pain in his brilliant blue
eyes.

"It was a kiss Tylar; it was wrong I know,
but please put this into perspective. It was a kiss."

"You might as well have fucked her, Trey.
Betrayal is betrayal."

"Are you serious?" he asked incredulously.
"You can't possibly put a kiss right up there with intercourse for
Chrissake Tylar!"

"I can and I do, Trey. That's how I feel.
Besides that, who's to say it would have stopped with a kiss? After
all, when you spotted me at the window it kind of killed the mood,
didn't it?"

"You saw that I pulled away from her. You
can't believe that I would have let it gone any further."

"I can't believe for all the love you have
professed for me that you let it go as far as you did. But then
again, I give Amber credit. She did give me fair warning I
suppose."

The more that I recalled that incident with
Amber the angrier I was at myself for not letting Trey know exactly
what she had said. I hadn't wanted him to think I was a whiney,
insecure wife but in all honesty maybe that was exactly what I was.
Maybe that was why Trey was drawn to Amber. She was everything that
I was not.

Trey was back beside me on the couch.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean that after the services for Marley
she came up to me with her condolences. She was extremely sincere
in extending her sympathy. She even patted my hand telling me that
things like that happen for a reason. She said she knew how cliché
that sounded, but in my case it would make our divorce easier."

"What the hell are you saying?" Trey
yelled.

"She said she had every intention of making
you hers."

"No she didn't," he replied,
dumbfounded.

"Yeah, okay. I'm a liar, I guess."

"Why didn't you tell me this at the
time?"

"Probably because it would have prompted the
same response I got just now. I really wasn't worried about what
she threatened to do because that was when I still had faith in
your faithfulness."

"Tylar," he said with a hint of exasperation
in his tone, "How do you expect us to work on our problems when you
are in Baton Rouge and I am in Atlanta?"

I stood up now putting a little distance
between us because I knew that he was not going to like what I had
to say.

"Trey, for right now I'm not up to working
on anything other than healing from the pain of losing the baby;
and the pain of your infidelity. Call me self-serving or immature
or uncooperative, but it's the truth. I just don't have it in me
right now to deal with anything other than seeing to my own
needs."

"I don't understand what that encompasses,"
he remarked. "Are you saying that you want a separation?"

"Yes. That is exactly what I am saying."

"I see," he said, standing up and walking
closer to me.

Oh God. Please let me be strong. Please give
me the strength not to succumb to his demands for once. I was
surprised when none were forthcoming.

"How separated do you want to be?" he
asked.

"Geographically or otherwise?" I
countered.

"Well since you asked - both," he replied
tersely.

"I want to stay in Baton Rouge with Dad;
Matthew's case is coming up and I want to see what happens with the
murder charges."

"What about Preston?" he asked.

"I would like her here with me, Trey."

"When exactly am I supposed to see my
daughter?"

"I'm sure we can work something out. I mean
the only time that you really have are weekends and well with that
case you and Amber have been working on, even your weekends have
been fairly tied up."

"That case should be wrapping up in a few
weeks. Why don't we play it by ear? Perhaps I can fly down on every
other Friday and get a hotel room and keep her with me."

"Trey," I said softly, "Dad's estate is huge
you won't need to stay in a hotel suite, unless of course, you want
to."

He studied me for a moment.

"I don't
want
any of this," he
replied, "But it appears this is the way that you want it for the
time being. You have that right after what I've done."

"Trey, please don't look at this as a
punishment for you. I'm in pain here for several reasons. I need
this. Has Preston been asking about me?"

"Of course she has, Tylar. Gina's been
keeping her. I will fly down with her this weekend. Do you have
clothes for her?"

"A few that Gina packed when I came down
here. I can buy more unless you plan on cancelling my credit cards.
I mean you can if you want. I guess I'm no longer 'earning' my keep
with you."

Trey was totally incensed with me at that
statement.

He grabbed me by my arm pulling me toward
him and tilting my face up to look into his angry blue eyes as he
responded.

"What kind of a man do you think that I am?
What? I dole out an allowance to you for taking care of my child,
my home and my sexual needs? My God, Tylar, marriage is a
partnership. I thought that's what we were?"

"So did I Trey. But things
have changed, not the least of which most recently when you and
Amber made it perfectly clear that you were 'hot' for each other in
the family room of
our
home."

"God damn it, Tylar, you are twisting things
about out of proportion. Suffice it to say, I am not cancelling
your credit cards. What I have is yours."

"Well just so you know, I am starting to
work with the horses here at Dad's. I insisted on earning my keep
here. Besides that, it is my passion."

"I thought your family was your passion?" he
countered.

"It is," I replied coolly, "Dad is family
too, you know."

"So," he continued as if he hadn't heard my
response, "What about the "otherwise" portion of our
separation?"

"Trey, if you are chomping at the bit to
fuck Amber what is stopping you? I mean, you've had almost two
weeks to bed her - are you waiting for my permission?"

"I do not want to bed her," he seethed,
grasping my hands into a vice-like grip against him.

His eyes were blazing with rage. I didn't
understand why. I had just given him permission to take this
opportunity during our separation to fuck her or anyone else he so
desired. He just wasn't going to be fucking me. Somehow this wasn't
sitting well with him.

"I want you to promise me - promise me," he
repeated, "That you won’t be sexually involved with anyone else. In
return I will do the same."

"What are you so worried about, Trey?"

"I can't fathom the thought of another man
touching you."

"Oh, so that's how you roll. I see. Well,
here is how it is Trey; we are separated. That means that there are
no restrictions. It's kind of like the military, 'Don't ask - don't
tell."

I turned from him to exit the room and found
myself hauled back by his strong arms. He wrapped his arms around
me and crushed me backwards with his strength. His lips found mine
as he captured me in a passionate almost violent kiss that left me
reeling.

"You are mine," he hissed releasing me.

Our eyes locked with one another's. His look
was possessive; mine was defiant. We shall see I thought to myself
as I watched him collect himself and head toward the entry hall to
exit.

"Preston and I will be here on Friday," he
said without looking back.

CHAPTER 7

Edie and I had spent the day getting
Preston's nursery ready. We had added a potty chair in my bathroom.
I was going to see if she was ready to start toilet training. My
father was equally excited about her coming to stay with us.

I had gone shopping to get more clothes for
her since it seemed as if she grew in leaps and bounds. I had not
seen her for three and a half weeks. I had bought more puzzles and
storybooks for her because she loved to be read to and we would
make a game of putting the puzzles together each taking turns.

When I heard the bell ring downstairs, I
flew down the steps as Margo the new head of staff answered the
door.

Trey was standing there with Preston in his
arms. She had her thumb in her mouth looking incredibly sweet in
her new winter coat with her knit cap and matching mittens.

"Mamma," she squealed seeing me at the
bottom of the staircase.

She leaned away from Trey holding her arms
out to me. I was right there to take her into my arms, holding her
close.

"My sweet baby," I breathed cuddling her to
me.

She immediately wanted to nurse, tugging at
my sweater with her hands. She had not nursed in months. How
strange was that that she would still remember?

"No honey," I said. "You're a big girl now.
You drink from a cup."

"Num-num," she whined squirming unhappily in
my arms.

I looked at Trey and caught his look of
disapproval. Oh I guess now I was a piece of shit mom because I
couldn't breastfeed on a whim. He was the one that had wanted her
weaned as I recalled.

"Let's go get a cracker and some juice," I
offered to appease her.

"Cacker," she repeated happily.

I took her off to the kitchen while my
father came out to greet Trey. Once there I got her coat, mittens
and hat off and sat her in the high chair. I got a graham cracker
out and a juice box from the fridge.

"Have you been a good girl for Aunt Gina?" I
asked.

She smiled up at me showing her dimple.

"Uh huh," she said, nodding her head up and
down chewing on her cracker.

I could tell that Preston was deep in
thought about something. She looked so adorable. Gina had pulled
her silky dark hair up into a high ponytail and then braided it. It
was getting so long. She had a ribbon intertwined with the braid. I
appreciated how well she had cared for my baby girl.

"Baabby," she babbled.

I wasn't sure if she was referring to Reese
or the one that used to be in my tummy. I presumed it was
Reese.

"Baby Reese is your cousin," I said.

She was watching me now not really
understanding my comment. She finally smiled at me as she drooled
cracker crumbs from her mouth.

"Uh huh," she answered nodding her head once
again.

Her vocabulary was rather limited but I
enjoyed our conversation nonetheless.

Our little mother-daughter chat was
interrupted when my father came into the kitchen totally delighted
to see his grand-daughter.

He lifted her from her high chair commenting
on how big she had gotten. She put her chubby little arms around
his broad shoulders as he carried out to the living room where her
huge crate of toys resided.

“Tylar,” he said quietly to me, “I had Margo
prepare the guest suite for Trey. It makes no sense to banish him
to a hotel.”

“Dad, that is fine,” I answered, “I
suggested the same thing to Trey myself.”

“Good,” he replied, “I’m glad that we are on
the same page.”

He went off to play with Preston while I
went upstairs to see about Trey. It would be totally strange to
have him here in a separate room. I passed Margo in the hallway and
she pointed out which room was his.

I knocked softly on his door.

“Come in.”

Trey was sitting on the bed with his I-Pad.
He was probably checking his emails. He looked over at me
expectantly.

“Trey I just wanted to thank you for
bringing Preston to me.”

“I believe a child of her age needs more
time with her mother. I know that she has missed you. Gina said
that she was incredibly fussy while she had her.”

“I need to call Gina. It seems I’ve been
remiss in keeping in touch with her as well. How is Reese?”

“He is fine. Mom called earlier today. She
is going to come down to visit her grandson next week. I guess that
Nigel and Tess's baby is due in a few weeks."

“I bet she is excited to have all of these
grandchildren to fuss over now,” I commented smiling at him. "So
what did you tell her about our situation?"

Trey pulled me over to where he sat on the
bed so that I was next to him. I felt my heart flutter with his
nearness. I knew that I still loved Trey with all my heart. I just
didn’t like him at the moment.

"I told her the truth," he said. "She is
understandably furious with me. It doesn't have to mar the
relationship that you two have. I hope that it won't."