Be My Baby (12 page)

My father rose from his chair and took the
still sobbing Preston from me talking soothingly to her and
explaining why she shouldn't touch things that were breakable.

I looked at my father's face. He had the
'stoic judge' look going. He was unreadable. Yet somehow I knew
that he knew. Trey wouldn't have told him. My father simply read
people and their actions. That was his gift. That is probably what
made him a phenomenal judge.

"How long ago did he leave?" I asked in a
semi-panicky tone.

My father looked at his watch.

"His plane took off about ten minutes ago if
it's on schedule. I'm sure you can call him later when he's home.
Why the rush to talk to him all of a sudden? You barely
acknowledged him while he was here."

I felt the sting of my father's words.
Though they were gently stated they cut like a knife. I deserved
the pain that I was feeling. My father was giving me an 'emotional
spanking.' It was what I deserved.

"He's my husband, Dad. There are things we
need to discuss; apologies that need to be made."

"There will be plenty of time for that
darling daughter. Why don't you get dressed? I'll tend to Preston
until then."

I returned to my suite selecting jeans and a
sweater for the day. I picked my Blackberry up from the nightstand.
A text message from Trey had come in earlier:

'
I
felt it best I return to Atlanta. You and I need to discuss whether
our marriage is salvageable. It is your move. I won't be calling
you.'

My heart lurched when I read the text. What
had I done? I hated myself with every inch of my being. I was
disgusted with my behavior.

I flung myself back onto my bed. I pressed
Gina's name in my directory. I thanked God when she picked up.

Between my hysterical sobbing I managed to
get the story out to her. I waited for the verbal lashing I would
get from her. I wanted it. I needed everyone I loved to punish me
for what I had done.

"Tylar," she said solemnly, "Please stop
beating yourself up. What's done is done. You can't change that
anymore than Trey can change what he has done. You need to decide
if you both can put it behind you and go on."

"But Gina," I wailed, "What I did was so
much worse than what Trey did."

"You know Ty; I'm not sure in situations
such as this that someone's actions can be measured as far as who
deserves more blame. I suppose if you insisted on measuring it out
in portions than you would have to consider a couple of things in
the mix. Let me ask you a few questions and you must answer them
honestly, okay?"

"Okay," I said still sobbing.

"Did you set out to purposely seek revenge
against Trey for what he had done?"

"No," I answered honestly.

"If Trey had not done what he did; would you
have had occasion to be separated from him and living with your
father?"

"No," I replied.

"When you and Trey decided to have this
informal separation did you agree to abide by rules pertaining to
socializing with other people of the opposite sex?"

"No," I answered truthfully.

"Do you have feelings for Danny?"

"Only as a friend; he was someone I confided
in occasionally."

"Okay," she said pausing as if she was
mentally tallying up my score. "Here is how I see it. You and Trey
are about even in the blame column. He did it first with someone
that he was apparently drawn to while you were still living under
the same roof. As a result of his action - which you personally
witnessed because it was done in your own home - you needed to be
away from him for a period of time to allow yourself to
reflect."

I was nodding silently as Gina summarized
her findings.

"Your friendship with Danny spawned because
of your separation from Trey which would have never happened had
Trey not made out with the bitch. Add to this the fact that what
you witnessed likely made you feel insecure about yourself as far
as your looks, your desirability, even your intelligence when you
compared yourself to Amber. The situation created a vulnerability
in you that essentially made you ripe for the picking as they say.
In my book you both share the same amount of guilt. Period."

"Thanks Gina. I guess it comes down to what
Trey's book reflects."

"How so? Did you not hear a thing that I
said? The worst possible thing you can do is give him the
edge."

"Gina - I'm not trying to play a game of
wits with him. I am sincerely appalled at my behavior and want him
to forgive me."

"And that is fine girlfriend, but first you
have to forgive him don't you? It seems to me as if that piece of
it has been eliminated from the mix. What you did last night did
not wipe that out. If you approach him like you are the only one
that needs forgiveness then you are setting yourself up for a life
of constantly feeling the need to make up for what you have done.
That won't work."

I thought about what Gina was saying. She
was right. We both needed to come clean with each other and come to
an understanding of how we could move forward; or if we could move
forward. My actions last night may have muddied the waters some but
it was apparent that the waters hadn't been crystal clear to begin
with for awhile.

"Gina, I love you. Thank you so much for
helping me put this into perspective."

"I love you too, Tylar. I just want you back
here. I miss my BFF."

"I miss you, too. Please kiss Reese for me?
I will let you know what happens."

We said our good-byes. I did feel better. I
finished getting ready. I brushed my teeth and hair. I decided I
was going to change my hair color back the first appointment I
could get.

I went back downstairs once dressed and
found Preston in the kitchen in her high chair. Edie was feeding
her lunch.

"Hey Tylar," she greeted me. "Do you want
something to eat?"

I grabbed an apple from the fridge and
started munching on it. It tasted so good.

"I'm good with this, thanks. Where's
Dad?"

"Oh," she replied a bit uncomfortably, "He
sent me to fetch Danny earlier. I think they are in your father's
study."

(Holy shit! I hoped to God this was about
one of the horses and not me.)

I crept back out through the dining room and
into the entry hall. I removed my boots so as not to make noise on
the wooden floor that led to the study. The door to the study was
shut but I could hear my father's voice.

"Here you go Mr. Duvall; you are paid
through the end of the month. Please have your personal items
cleared out by the end of the day."

I heard Danny's voice next.

"Judge Tylar, I don't understand all of
this. Are you not pleased with my performance?"

"Mr. Duvall, I had the opportunity this
morning of trying to teach my 17-month old granddaughter about
touching things that are fragile and easily broken. Unfortunately
the lesson was interrupted before I could establish my point with
her."

"I'm not following you Judge."

"You're not an infant Mr. Duvall. You should
already understand the risks of touching something fragile and
breakable. I can and did establish my point with you just now when
I terminated your employment."

(Holy shit! How had my father known any of
this?)

"Oh - I get it," Danny scoffed with an angry
edge to his voice. "This is about your precious daughter isn't it?
What'd she do Judge? Run to you with some crazy tale about me
date-raping her or something? Let me clue you in 'Your Honor,' she
was outside my door waiting for me last night. She wanted it!"

(That bastard! He was going to throw me
under the freaking bus with my own father.)

"Mr. Duvall, I'm not interested in hearing
the particulars. My daughter didn't say a word to me about you or
anyone else. That doesn't mean that I can't read her though. You
are trouble for her. I want you out of my home and off of my
property."

"Whatever you say Judge Tylar," he
sneered.

I could hear his boots walking across the
hardwood floor toward the door. I scooted back away from the
hallway into the living room where he couldn't see me.

The door opened abruptly but Danny hadn’t
left the study just yet.

"Just know this Judge Tylar. Your fragile
little daughter doesn't need you watching her every move. Perhaps
your over-protectiveness is what has turned her into a little
slut!"

(Oh sweet Jesus! I can't believe he said
that to my father!)

"You're dismissed Mr. Duvall. Please take
your leave immediately," my father's voice boomed in his
authoritative tone.

I heard the sound of Danny's footsteps
retreating down the hall toward the back entrance. My father's
footsteps were right behind his ensuring he left the premises. I
scrambled from where I had been listening near the doorway to the
hall and fled upstairs to my suite.

I slammed my door behind me and threw myself
on the bed. My body was racked with uncontrollable sobs as I
unleashed the flood of tears. I was ashamed and humiliated. My
father had to be so ashamed of me. How could I have disappointed
him of all people?

There was a soft knocking at my door. It was
probably Edie bringing Preston up to me.

"Come in," I said, sitting up trying to wipe
the tears off of my cheeks so as not to upset the baby.

It was my father that came through the
door.

"May I talk with you Tylar?"

I nodded 'yes' still trying to compose
myself. He closed my door softly behind him and came to sit on my
bed next to me.

"Dad," I started, "I need to apologize for
-"

He held his hand up motioning me to stop
talking.

"There will be time for apologies later
Tylar, hear me out first please."

I nodded looking up at him as he took a
moment to select his words.

"I know that I wasn't able to be a father to
you during your formative years. If I had known you existed I would
have remedied that situation immediately I promise you. But I am
your father now and it pains me to see you on some self-destructive
path. Please tell me how I can help you aside from providing a safe
haven for your escape?"

He stopped waiting for my answer.

"Is that what you think I am doing,
Dad?"

"Isn't it?"

"I came here to relax and reflect; to sort
things out and put things into perspective," I answered.

"That all sounds well and
good Tylar, but tell me
specifically
how that is supposed to
take place? What actions do you need to take in order to bring
about resolution to the issues that brought you here?"

"I guess I just felt like resting and being
around you and Preston would be therapeutic for me."

"I see," he replied rubbing his forehead as
if he was getting a headache. "The fact that you have spent very
little time with me in the evenings; and even less time with
Preston since Trey delivered her here doesn't seem conducive to
recovery."

"I know Dad," I admitted sheepishly, "I've
been on a roll I guess haven't I? I suppose I was trying to
recapture my teen years. The funny thing is I never acted like a
teenager even when I was one. Do you think I'm having a nervous
breakdown or something?"

"Sweetheart I think that you are going
through something that is out of character. I think it would
benefit you to get some counseling and perhaps visit a doctor to
check to see if you need medication."

(Wow - my dad thought I was going nuts. .
.)

"I think you're right, Dad. I stopped taking
my anti-depressants when I was pregnant. I didn't even think about
asking my doctor about going back on them after my mis-- after I
lost Marley."

"I will be happy to help you locate a doctor
in the area if you wish."

"Thanks Dad. I would appreciate that very
much.

"That's what a father does," he replied
smiling.

"I need to talk to you about Danny," I
said.

"I'm listening but it is really none of my
business Tylar."

"Dad - it matters to me what you think of
me. It matters to me that you know that I am not a slut."

He raised an eyebrow looking at me.

"Yes, I was listening outside in the hallway
to your conversation with Danny this morning. You need to know that
I wasn't waiting in the hallway in the loft for him to come
home."

My father listened intently as I relayed to
him what had happened at the club and about Vincent driving me
home. I didn't go into detail about what happened in Danny's
apartment other than letting him know that I couldn't go through
with it and left in a hurry. I told him that Trey was waiting for
me in my room when I returned. I told him that Trey had figured out
something had gone on when he saw my disheveled appearance.

"Dad, it's important that you know that Trey
was the first and only man that I've ever been with up until last
night. He is the only man that I had ever intended to be with after
our first time together. I couldn't let Danny go on with what we
were doing. I stopped it but I know that it still counts as an
unfaithful act against Trey."

"Tylar - this is something that you need to
work out with Trey. I am certainly not one to pass judgment on
infidelities. If you recall, my infidelity to my fiancé is what
brought you into the world. I can tell you that your husband loves
you dearly. When he left here this morning he left devastated. He
didn't say a word to me about anything."

"Oh Dad," I sighed, "I bet Mom is looking
down from heaven totally disappointed in her daughter."

"Not my sweet Marley," he said, "She would
want you to not dwell on your mistakes but learn from them."

There was a tap on the door just then. It
was Edie with Preston.