Authors: Hot Books Publishing
My Stepbrother’s Secret
Stepbrother Romance
Part 1
Reacquaintance
CHAPTER ONE - In the Gallery
I still don't know exactly what happened, so I think I'll write it all down to try and piece together how I got here. It all started one day while I was at work…
I walked away from my job at the art studio with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I had a hard time figuring out exactly what I was feeling and why. I felt both elated and like I wanted to break down in tears. The reason for all this inner turmoil? I had just seen my step brother, Justin, for the first time in over a year. I avoid him as much as possible, but sometimes my father insists that we all do something together "as a family," even though we aren't even really related and my dad married his mom when we were already basically adults. I do my best to excuse myself from these family events, but things like Christmas are unfortunately unavoidable. I always come for the minimum time possible and make an excuse to leave early. It isn't that I don't like my family, they're great people who make me laugh and love me. And Justin... Well, he isn't exactly what you'd call nice, I guess. But that’s not why I don’t like to be around him. He is successful and sexy as hell, and he knows it. He has a certain magnitude, despite the fact that he's kind of, how to put it nicely? An asshole. And here's where my secret comes in: despite the fact that he's such a grade A jerk, I've had a major crush on him ever since his mom married my dad ten years ago. Just seeing him made me wet, even if he didn’t say anything but mean things to me. Even if he didn’t so much as look at me. Seeing Justin always turned me into a big old mess. I was eighteen at the time, and always expected it to go away, taking it for a teenage crush. He was a little bit older, dripped confidence, and would hardly even look at me, unless it was to give me a disapproving look and shoot a snide comment about my outfit or my school decisions. Something about him being forbidden and kind of mean really got my juices boiling. Needless to say, he was the star of a lot of my teenage girl fantasies. Still just thinking about him basically makes my panties fall to my ankles. As I got older, the crush didn’t go away. If anything, it strengthened with time. As much as I try to avoid seeing or thinking about Justin, when I do I want him just as badly as ever.
Okay, so getting to what actually happened. I work at a little art studio in downtown Portland. It's not really a career, but I love spending my days talking about great art with people who love it as much as I do. Someday, I hope I can sell my own stuff. But I don't know if I'm good enough. Anyways, I guess Justin just moved into a new place and wanted some new art for it, and that’s why he came to the studio that afternoon.
When he walked in, I must've been a sight to see. I'm sure my skin went completely white. My stomach dropped and for a minute I couldn't breathe. For a second, I thought maybe he had come to see me. I had to grab the counter with both hands to keep myself from falling over. My artistic mind had about ten seconds to invent all sorts of scenarios in which he had come looking for me, to tell me that he had feelings for me, to take me in his arms and kiss me. Dammit. It was exactly the same as when I was 18. I should've been spending those thirty seconds mentally preparing myself, but as it was he managed to catch me off guard, saying "Ellie? I didn't realize you worked here. Still no real job, huh?" He joked, winking and flashing me his super-model grin. God, he is such a jerk. I didn't even know how to respond to that.
"Oh, hey Justin. It's been awhile. How's it going?" I tried to keep me voice calm, and wondered if he could hear the slight tremors in it.
"Good, good," he responded, "I just moved to a new place and thought I'd spruce it up with some art. Can I ask your opinion?"
This was seriously so surreal. Justin, asking for my advice? Treating me like a real adult? "For sure, what did you have in mind?" I responded, trying to keep my raging emotions in check.
An hour later, we had picked Justin out some great contemporary pieces for his new loft. We spent the time making jokes about our family, discussing art, and discovering we both shared a love for good beer as well as hiking, among other things. It was probably the most we had ever talked, Justin and I, and it made me feel all tingly to realize how much we had in common. To me he had always kind of represented more of an idea than an actual person, and now he seemed so much more real. Maybe I was the same for him.
"This was surprisingly fun, Ellie," he said, playfully swatting at my shoulder, "you should come over for a beer and help me decide where to hang them."
Oh my god oh my god oh my god. Had Justin just invited me to his place? After being so calm and cool throughout the entire encounter, I felt my face turning red, "y-yeah, that would be great," I responded, trying not to sound too excited by the possibility.
"Cool. See you around, sis." And he was gone.
I continued walking, so lost in remembering the afternoon that I almost missed my street. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way Justin smiled at me like we shared a secret, the way his dimples accentuated his perfectly shaped face, the way sometimes a lock of his deep brown hair would fall in front of his eyes, and how he would smooth it back just for it to fall again. And, above all, I thought about how he made my heart pound. Still, after all this time. No one had ever made me feel like that before. That last thought brought me back to the real world, and I remembered that in the real world I was late for drinks.
Chapter 2 - Goodbyes
I walked into the bar and saw him waiting for me at the back. Cute, sweet, good to me Henry. He hadn't seen me yet, so I took a moment to just look at him. He has strawberry blonde hair, a face covered in freckles, and a serious expression on his face. His brow was furrowed over his current book - something by Murakami - and he looked like he was in a different world entirely. Henry and I had been friends for a couple of years when he finally asked me out. That was a couple of months ago. I had reluctantly agreed, and things had been pretty good between us since. What got along so well, and already spent a good deal of our time together. At first it was weird to kiss him, and there weren’t exactly fireworks in the bedroom, but spending Sunday mornings cuddled in his arms were pretty damn nice. But after seeing Justin today, I knew that being with Henry wasn’t fair to either of us. What came next was not going to be pleasant.
I went to the bar and grabbed us two beers, and plopped them down on the table in front of him. He looked up from his book with that other-worldly, confused look people get when they are rudely reminded that the real-world exists.
“Hey, El,” he inclined his face to me for a kiss. I pecked him on the lips and sat down on the adjacent bar school, already filed with guilt. I hated to hurt someone I loved and admired so much. He gave me an inquisitive look, “you look like you’ve seen a ghost or something. Is everything alright?”
I sighed. Time to band-aid this thing. “H. This isn’t working. Us. We don’t work. I feel like… like you’re my brother or something,” I paused as my words made me cringe. Maybe not the best way of explaining my non-amorous feelings for someone... “I love you, but I don’t feel like I can
love
you love you, you know?” Henry and I had always been brutally honest with one another, so at least we had that going for us.
He just looked at me for a long time. His green eyes seemed concerned, but not necessarily heart broken. I really hoped he wasn’t going to cry. He seemed to be deep in thought for a while and finally responded, “you know, I think I’ve been feeling the same way, I think we’re much better as friends.”
I gave him a look of disbelief. I have to admit that it stung a little bit, in the way it stung in high school to learn someone who used to have a crush on you was now into someone else, in a ridiculous, selfish way. But at the same time I felt like a rain-cloud had been following me around recently and that it had finally lifted. I let out a little laugh. “God, H, we are ridiculous.”
We talked about it a little more. We both said that we were a bit disappointed, and that we had really wanted it to work between us. But that it was okay. We both said we didn’t think we would have any problems going back to how it was before, that we could just go back to being close friends. After half an hour, it was like we had never dated. I felt like I was seeing an old friend for the first time after a long separation. I almost wanted to tell him about Justin, I felt like he would understand. But I decided against it. It was strange, though. We always told each other everything, even before dating.
Henry had a weird way of almost reading my mind sometimes, “Hey El, I promise I won’t be mad, but is there something else? I swear you looked so weird when you sat down. And why is this all coming now?”
“I can’t lie to you, H, there kind of is. Nothing has happened at all. But I actually ran into someone I used to have a huge crush on, and it reminded me what real passion feels like. I’m sorry, is that too harsh?”
Henry chortled, “Nah, it’s not a big deal. Things with us were never super fiery. Anyone I know?”
I didn’t want to give him too many details, especially with his uncanny ability to see what I was thinking, so I tried to choose my next words wisely. “Um, kinda. But I’m not really ready to tell you about it just yet. Maybe another time.”
He gave me a wink and agreed that I would tell him about it over a beer some other time. We talked for another half hour or so and went our separate ways.
Chapter 3 - Late Night Messages
“How about coming over tonight to help me with those
prints? It’s been awhile since we caught up ;)”
I read the message over and over. I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop thinking about that little winky face, or looking at the name “Justin Lapare” at the top of my screen, a name that almost never showed up as trying to contact me on my phone. He had sent the message five minutes ago, and I was stuck frozen there, unable to think or do anything but just stare and think. What did that winky face mean? I mean, everyone knows what a winky face means, right? Isn’t that clear, unabashed flirting? My fingers quivered over the screen and I finally responded: “sure, sounds good. I’ll bring some beers for the occasion!” But was the exclamation point too much? Too eager? Normally I would go to Henry with this kind of question, but this felt obviously inappropriate. I didn’t want to ask my girlfriends or my mom, either, because they would ask for more details. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and pressed send. It had been exactly seven minutes since he first contacted me. I didn’t even have time to wonder if I had responded too quickly, as my phone buzzed almost immediately, informing me that I had a new message. It was from him. “Great, see you soon.” And his address. It was 10:30, and I was headed to my step brother’s house for, what, exactly? Just to help him out, I thought to myself. Nothing weird about a sister going to help her brother with hanging up some paintings, right? It’s not like there was any kind of curfew for such a thing. They were working adults, who were busy during the day. Nothing was weird about what was going on at all.
But if this were really just two step-siblings helping each other out, why couldn’t I go over there in what I was wearing? Sweats and a t-shirt should be just fine for such a thing. Regardless, I changed into some dark-wash jeans, brown boots, and a slightly-transparent button-up top. I quickly fixed my make-up a bit, grabbed a six-pack from my fridge, and was out the door. I don’t even remember the drive to Justin’s, whose new place is just a ten minute drive from my place. Without even realizing it, I was ringing his doorbell. He opened the door, smiling and looking somehow different than usual. He looked softer, and less like he was ten seconds away from saying something mean to me.
“Hey, thanks for coming,” he said, smiling, and leaning in to give me a kiss on the cheek. It felt entirely natural, but it wasn’t something he had ever done before. It made me shiver. It made me want
it
like I never had before. I reminded myself to stay cool and held up the beer “as promised,” I announced.
Justin’s apartment was
nice
, not that I expected anything different. Though it was less cold lines and modern future than I would have thought. It was decorated with masculinity, but was at the same time cozy. I felt safe there. “Take a seat,” he said gesturing to the couch. He returned from the kitchen, bottle opener in hand. “Cheers,” we both said, and clinked the bottles together.
We sat almost in silence as we drank that first beer, and the air surrounding us felt undeniably electric. I didn’t even dare look at him, as I didn’t trust myself to not do something stupid. As Justin opened us each a second one, he glanced at me nervously. That was weird, he had never done anything but either ignore me or drip confidence in my presence. He looked down, smiled, and finally spit out, “there’s something I have to tell you, Ellie.”
“Oh yeah?” I replied, both confused by the way he was acting and excited to hear what he was going to say.
“Yeah, um… I don’t really need your help setting up those paintings.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s nice to just be able to sit and catch up a bit.” I replied, even though we had hardly exchanged any words at all.
“No, Ellie, you don’t understand,” he paused and put his hand on my knee. The touch seemed to extend through my whole body, enveloping me. It was all I could do not to kiss him hard and strong right then. I had to focus on his next words, because my whole world wanted to shrink to just my thigh and the hand that lay on top of it. He continued, “I knew you worked at that art studio. I didn’t really need anything… I just wanted the excuse to see you.” His blue eyes penetrated me, filled with doubt and even fear, waiting for my reaction.
My whole brain went quiet. One thought echoed through me, and it was that of Justin making an excuse to see
me
. The novelty of it! The whole thing almost made me want to laugh. Again, and somewhat miraculously, I kept a cool exterior and said “and why’s that, Justin?”
“I’ve had a bit of a crush on you since, well, since I first met you. You’re so beautiful and talented and generous. That’s why I’ve always been kind of a jerk to you, I thought it was best if we kept our distance. Especially with you being so young when we first met. But ever since last Christmas… I haven’t been able to keep my thoughts away from you. I know it’s wrong, but I just couldn’t resist anymore. I had to find you. I had to tell you, even if you don’t feel the same way” he paused for a second, and it seemed like the next words pained him, “it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way.”
I couldn’t help it, a small giggle escaped my lips. Justin’s whole face fell. “What is it?” he asked, looking broken, “you don’t feel the same way?”
“No, no, nothing is funny. It’s just that I’ve always felt the same way. I’ve had the biggest crush on you since our parents got married. I kind of thought you hated me. It really isn’t funny, it’s just so unexpected is all.”
The two of us sat in silence for a long time, just looking at each other. It was like we were seeing each other for the first time. All of a sudden, Justin was no longer the handsome, off-limits crush of my late adolescence, he was a whole person. He had a depth that had never been clear to me before. There was so much about him that I didn’t yet know and was dying to find out about. What is he scared of, what are his passions? How was his childhood, who was his first love?
“Ellie,” he whispered.
“Justin?” I answered.
“Would you like to dance? We never got the chance at our parent’s wedding. I was too nervous to ask.” The thought of Justin being nervous around me was mind-bogging to me. If only I had known!
“There’s no music, though.”
He ignored this, stood up, and took my two hands in his, pulling me up. He wrapped his arms around my neck, and I wrapped mine around his middle. I pushed myself as close as I could, pressing my head to his heart until I could hear it’s steady bud-um-bud-um-bud-um. He smelled of cologne and laundry detergent and of man. It was intoxicating. We swayed back and forth for a long while, getting to know the rhythm of each other’s body. He lowered his head and gently laid his lips on my forehead. It was the most tender kiss I had ever received. It seemed full of love and promise and of the future. I felt full of happiness and like I could never be sad again, all because of that one forehead kiss. I tilted my head up to look him in those deep-blue eyes again, and the next moment we were kissing. I didn’t kiss him and he didn’t kiss me, rather we kissed each other at exactly the same moment. Already, we were perfectly in sync.
His lips were full and soft and impossible to break away from. I felt like I could have spent the rest of my life swaying back and forth in his arms and kissing his sweet lips until I died. Slowly but surely, his hands found their way under my shirt and onto my bare back. Nothing felt rushed or uncertain, but he kept it there for a long while well we continued our ever-intensifying embrace. Of almost its own accord, the hand crept up my back. Again, it was like he was trying to get to know me in a way that I didn’t know was possible to be known. Like me, it seemed he wanted to memorize every last bit of my being. His hands were under my bra, and he lowered his head to kiss my neck. He whispered “I’ve waited so long for this moment.” And I felt like everything that happened before that exact moment had occurred in an entirely different lifetime.
I, too, slowly put a hand under Justin’s shirt and felt his muscled back beneath my fingers. I decided that I couldn’t take it anymore and lifted his t-shirt over his head. In turn, he unbuttoned each one of the buttons on my blouse, taking his time as he did so to caress my chest, each breast, and surely every inch of skin that he uncovered while undressing me.. Once my shirt had been taken care of, he reached behind me and adeptly unsnapped my lacy-black bra (that I had admittedly put on especially for the occasion), freeing my C-cups. He took one in each hand and gently took each nipple in his mouth in turn. God, I was so ready for him. I had always liked sex, but now it seemed like the most important need I had ever had. It was like I was hungrier and thirstier than I had ever been before, and somehow even worse than that. I needed him. Now.
I had a brief moment of pause as my brain tried to get ahead of my body and think about all of the repercussions this would have. What would my parents think? What would
everyone
think? I mean, Justin had been my brother for ten years. Would people think that we were gross or incestuous? I didn’t exactly decide that I didn’t care, but I did decide to tell my brain to shut up for a little while. I wrapped my arms tighter than ever around Justin and kissed him with all my might. He reached down to my jeans, freeing the button from its hold and unzipping them. He pushed them down, almost violently, as if his need has surged as mine had. He could wait no longer, it seemed, and no longer slowly caressed every part of me he uncovered. I understood I felt the same way about him. It was time. I stepped out of my jeans, leaving me wearing only my lacy black thong. He put his thumbs under each side of them, too, and pulled them down, leaving them at my ankles. I briefly reflected back on all of the times Justin had figuratively made my panties drop, with a look or a word, and smiled to myself that it was happening for real now.
I stood before him, completely naked, and felt his eyes drink in every curve and imperfection of my frame. “You’re perfect,” he said softly. He caressed me from under my arms, to over my hips, down to my thighs. He enveloped me with his left arm, holding me like a vice so that I couldn’t have gone anywhere if I had wanted to, and slid his right hand to my inner thigh. I felt like I was about to explode, it felt so amazing. I could hardly imagine how it would feel for him to touch me more, how it would feel to have him deep inside of me. He caressed the outside of my pussy with two of his fingers. I whimpered, unable to wait for him to touch me more, “please,” I uttered, unable to articulate anything more. Finally, blissfully, he pushed his pointer finger inside of me, to be welcomed by my wet and ready vagina. He moved his finger up and down, rapidly finding my g-spot and increasing the pleasure by pushing a second finger inside me. With his thumb, he made gentle circles over my clitoris. I pressed my head into his chest, resisting the urge to climax instantly. I savored the moment of his touch, wanting the moment to never end. “Come for me, Ellie,” he breathed into my ear, and I complied. The release was everything I had ever wanted. I shook in his arms for what must have been minutes, before I realized that I wanted more. I looked up into his eyes, and while fixed in his gaze I found the button of his pants, which somehow had stayed on during this whole affair. I pushed them down his legs along with his boxers, and took a peek at what I had revealed. I took in an unintentional breathe of air. He was
huge
. And, from the looks of it, very, very hard. I continued kissing him, biting his lip and intertwining my tongue with his, while working my way up and down his dick with my hand. He sighed with pleasure, and squeezed me as tightly as I had done to him earlier.
Unable to take it anymore, he slid his arms under my legs and lifted me up. I draped my arms around his shoulders and leaned my forehead against his temple. He walked me into his bedroom, and gently laid me down on his king size bed. He crawled on top of me and embraced my breasts, flicking my nipples with his tongue until it felt as if they were made of rocks. “Are you ready?” he asked me, and I nodded my head yes. I spread my legs for him, hoping I could accommodate his enormous, throbbing member. He slid his dick up and down my pussy, not quite entering it just yet. I let out a whimper and groaned, “You’re driving me crazy.” He gave me a flirtatious smile, and at last pushed his huge cock into my not so patiently waiting hole. He was not gentle, but gentle is not what I needed. He pushed himself into me hard and fast, and buried his hands in my hair, pulling until it hurt. Normally I was pretty quiet in bed, but I shouted out in pleasure. I was just about to climax again when he pulled out, unceremoniously flipped me onto my belly, and began his work again. He rammed into me again and again, collapsing on top of me and clutching my hand as if it were the only thing keeping him afloat in the middle of a raging sea. The way he was positioned allowed his enormous shaft to perfectly rub against my g-spot, and I once again felt myself quickly rising to the point of climax. I could feel that he was getting there, too, as his whole body had begun to shiver and quake. I allowed myself the sweet release at the exact moment he said “Oh god, I’m coming, Ellie, Ellie, Ellie…”
He rolled off of me and swept me into his arms. We both lay there, on the edge of death, clutching onto one another and breathing heavily. We lay there for a long time as waves of pleasure and contentment washed over us. Finally, I rolled away from him and sat up, stretching my arms into the air.
“My god, Justin. That was… amazing. I, I’m speechless. I can’t believe that just happened.”
“Me neither, El. But shit, if you only knew how long I’ve wanted that to happen. How long I’ve wanted you and me to become an us,” He sat up, too, and lovingly kissed my cheek. Nothing at all like the fraternal peck from earlier in the night. “Will you spend the night tonight?” he asked.