Barefoot and Lost (3 page)

      ‘
You pompous bitch, you come into my house
, you
treat me as though I’m a criminal and a child molester,
you
show insens
itivity in front of a child who
,
within the last ten
months has lost both his parents and his grandmother
,
and you believe
,
because you have the law on your side
,
it is your right to behave in this manner, well I think it stinks
.’

    ‘
June it is no good getting upset
, let us try to
be calm and make it easier for Phillip
’
June turns to me her eyes blazing, I have never seen her so angry. She whispers something to me but I can’t understand, I whisper back, ‘Sorry what did you say’

     ‘Never mind forget it, it’s not important’

    
Tu
rning to Indian warrior
Mr.
Milligan
asks
, ‘
Miss
Peabody
now that
Phillip
is a ward
of the court what happens now?’
The reverend speaks
;
he has a
deep
voice
with an accent
I would expect from a farmer.

    
‘
May I interject,
quite right Mr Milligan we need to keep calm for the sake of the boy. I
t has been decided that
Master, err
Phillip is to go to Saint Stephens
Care H
ome at
Pen Dalton which is near Tonbridge. T
here he will receive the care that he needs also he will get the proper education and spiritual guidance that is so crucial to a child at this time in his life
.’

    
‘
When i
s this all going to take place?’

     ‘
Now
Mrs.
Milligan
’
,
Indian warrior says, a
s soon as you can pack Phillip’s things we will leave, it is best not to delay
.’

    
‘
But we were hoping to keep him until after the summer holidays
.’ Indian warrior
answers
,

    
‘
I’m afraid that will not be possible, you see
,
you have not been vetted by the authorities so
,
for you to have
Phillip
in your care is not an option.’

     ‘
So
,
let me get this right
,
you expect me to pack all Phillip’s things and let Phillip walk out of our lives just like that; he has been part of
this household for the past ten
months
,
he has been part of us and now you expect us to turn our backs on him just like that
?’

      ‘
Yes
,
that is what I’m asking bec
ause it is in his best interest. N
ow
,
please Mrs.
Milligan
,
can we get started
?’

    
‘
Does Ph
illip have any say in this?’

    
‘
I’m afraid not
.’

     ‘
Why is everybody talking about me as though I’m not here, I don’t want to go anywhere
,
I want to stay here
?’

    
‘
Phillip
,
go with Mrs.
Milligan
and pack your things
,
you can’t stay here
,
you
must come with me,’ Indian warrior says
as she puts her arm around me
.
I pull away
s
houting
,

     ‘
Leave me alone you fat cow.
’
As I run to go to my room
Mr.
Milligan
blocks the doorway and stops me
.

     ‘
Phillip
,
where the devil did you learn language like that
,
there are two ways of doing this
,
the hard and the easy way
,
let us do it the easy way
it will be better for everyone. D
on’t be disrespectful to Miss. Peabody
,
she is only doing her job and
,
with practice
,
she may get good at it
,
even though
she has a
n awful
lot to learn
, it is possible
you may find
underneath all that
officialdom
Miss Peabody is
quite a nice person
, now say your sorry
.’

     ‘Quite right Mr Milligan, the boy needs discipline; he needs to be severely punished’

     ‘Reverend, please do not tell me what to do in my own house, whilst Phillip is here in this house I will administer the discipline.’ Indian warrior stands in front of Mr. M places her hands on her hips and says
‘Technically Mr. Milligan you are not in charge, I am, now can we get on with this business’

     ‘Leave it Reg, before this gets out of hand
.’ T
urning to Indian warrior June asks
‘
is
he expected to pack everything he owns
?’

   
‘
No
,
Mrs. Milligan,
just his clothes
,
and any personal thin
gs he may feel he wants to take. He cannot take
money
,
or jewellery
. A
ny valuables that he takes will be put into safe keeping until he leaves our c
are to be fostered or he reaches the age of
fif
teen.
’

    
Following June up
the stairs to the attic
,
I freeze at the foot of the last flight
,
where Gran died,
June gently
steers me past it. She
then lifts Gran’s suitcase from the top of the wardrobe
,
in it are some of her things
,
some jewellery
,
and a very old
,
leather bound bible.
‘
Phillip
listen to me
,
these are your Gran’s things wh
ich now belong to your uncle
Ron
. W
e can’t keep them so I am going to parcel them up and deposit them with our solicitor until your uncle claims them
. W
e will find out where he is, write to him, and tell him about you
.

    
The case is far too big for my things
,
it is not heavy
, b
ut I insist that I carry it myself. T
he Rev
erend places
t
he case
into the car boot.
June hugs me
, her eyes are wet,
and I
can tell she is trying hard not to cry
.

     ‘
We will write to you
,
promise you will write back to tell us how you are getting on
.

    
‘
I Promise
.’

    
I have never been in a car before
; this trip
probably doesn’t count a
s I am only in it for five minu
t
e
s
. I
t too
k Indian warrior
longer to turn the car around than it did to drive to the station.
Passing number twelve I can see June standing with her head buried in Mr. M’s shoulder
, he raises one hand as we pass.

    
‘
Phillip
,
I am leaving you in the care of
Reverend
McGuire
,
he will take you to your new home, and
I am sure
you will enjoy it there. There are many
other boys and girls
just like you
,
without parents. You will make
many
friends I am sure
,
the care
rs are very kind and they will look after you
. Good
bye Phillip
,
do what the R
everend asks you to do.
Good luck
.’
She
is hol
d
ing
out a podgy
hand for me to shake, I ignore
it.

     ‘
Young man that was very rude, that is twice you
have
been rude to
Miss
Peabody
, you
will learn respect. I
f you want to do it the hard way so be it but we can be a lot harder; now
,
no more nonsense from you. When I ask you a question I expect you to answer me otherwise I expect you to be silent and only speak when you are spoken to
,
also
, always address me as Reverend’

    
That suits me fine
,
why would I want to talk to him
,
he is horrible?

    
We
are sitting
on our own
in a compartment
wait
ing
in silence for the train to
start;
he ha
sn’t ask
ed me anything, which is good
because
I do
n’t feel like talking. I should be excited about travelling by train but I just feel sad
,
I am determined not
to
show my true feelings to this horrible man. The journey to Tonbridge
ta
k
es
one and a half hours
,
with the train stop
ping at every station
. I purposely look out of the window, taking great care not to look at my jailer because that is how I feel, like a prisoner
.   

    
‘
Did you enjoy
the train journey?’

    
‘
Yes
.’

    
‘
Yes thank you Reverend
.’

    
‘
Yes thank you--- Reverend
.’

    
‘
That’s better, remember respect
.’

     The train glides slowly along the platform
,
as it
jolts to a stop,
the Reverend lifts my case down from the luggage
rack
and carrying
it in his right hand he grabs my wrist and pulls me from the train. Trotting to keep up with him we pass through the ticket barrier into the station concourse
,
he makes for a waiting a taxi.

    
‘
Good afternoon
Reverend, Saint
Stephens
is it?’

    
‘
Thank you
John
.’
I can see the driver looking at me in the mirror
,
when he sees me looking he winks and gives me a big smile, I smile back because he is the first person to be nice to me since leaving
June
.

     We pass between two
,
tall brick
,
pillars supporting wooden gates that are already open
. 

O
n the left hand one
is
a big sign
that
says Saint. The driveway is about a hundred yards long
. W
here it meets the house it forms a circle
,
in the centre is a statue of a man standing with his hands behind
his back,
looking
up
at the building
as if he is admiring it. The taxi pulls up at the door
,
we get out
and
the driver lifts my case from the luggage space onto the steps
,
h
e then looks at me in a meaningful
way
, ‘
You’ll be
okay
here son
,
be brave
’

    ‘
I’ll try
,
thank you
.’

    
As the Reverend pushes open the door a jolly looking lady wearing a whi
te
apron, comes bustling across the
black and white
cheque
re
d
tiled floor
.

     ‘
Good afternoon Reverend how was your journey and you must be
Phillip
?’

     ‘
Tiring
Alice
;
Phillip
,
this is
Mrs.
Miller
,
she is house keeper and mother to all the children at
Saint
Stephens
, say hello
.’

     
‘
Hello
Mrs.
Miller
.’

      ‘
Hello Phillip very pleased to
meet you; you will call me Mam. N
ow let us go to your room, and get you unpacked
.’
She pi
cks up my case and starts up a
huge staircase that curves at the top
. Walk
ing
along a
landing
we pass
several doors with names on them
,
we
then
turn left into a passage.
  

    
‘
Phillip
,
this passage is the boy’s
,
dormitory the one over there is the girls
. I
t is forbidden for the boys or the girls to ent
er each others dormitories.’

    
‘
Yes
Mrs.
Miller
, what’s a dormitory?’

     ‘
Yes Mam
,
remember my name Phillip; It’s the room you will sleep in, you will be sharing it with five other boys but at present it is only four
,
another boy will join you in a couple of weeks. We have a rule here
;
all the boys are about the same age
,
usually only three years betw
een the youngest and the eldest. T
he eldest is in charge and is responsible for everything that happens in that room
. S
o if you do something wrong he gets the punishment so
,
it is in his interest to make sure you behave yourself
,
he won
’
t think kindly of you if you cause him grief.

    
‘
No Mam
.
But that doesn’t seem fair
’

    
‘As may be but that is the rule’

     We enter room D1013 there are six beds
,
three on each side
,
beside each one is a small three draw
er
cabinet, the floor is highly polished, the beds look as though the folds in the sheets have been measured, the room looks so tidy as though it has never been lived in let alone the bedroom of four boys.

     ‘
This is your bed
.’
She is pointing to the middle one
on the right;
it is up to you to keep
it clean and the area around it.
The P
rinciple
t
he
Reverend Clarence Harrison
and I
inspect the rooms once a week and
,
quite often at random
,
woe betides any room leader if it is not up to scratch so
,
as a team you must pull together
,
each one of you is responsible to the other.

    
Mam opens my suitcase.
‘
Now
,
let us see what you have brought with you.
What have we here a teddy bear
,
now I’m sure you are not going to need this, how old are you
,
ten I believe, if you were a girl I could u
nderstand it but not for a boy.’

     ‘
I’m eleven
,
last Sunday was my birthday, I have had
Ted
since I was four he is my friend
.’

      ‘
Eleven is far too old for a doll
Phillip
;
he is just a stuffed toy
,
an image
,
not real
,
if you need
someone to be your friend call upon
Jesus
. W
e will help you to do that here
. N
ow
,
lock that dirty doll in your suitcase
,
the next time you take it out
it
will be to throw it in the dustbin
.’

      ‘
Yes Mam
.’
There is no way I will ever get rid of Ted he will be with me till I die
,
why is everyone so horrible
,
why can’t they be nice to me
,
why couldn’t I stay with June she loves me I know she does?

‘
In half an hour your roommates will be back from their activities, unpack your things put them in your draw
er
s
and
your suitcase can go under you
r
bed for the time being. My goodness look at the dust under your bed
,
you had better clean it up before I visit this room again. Lionel your room leader will tell what is expected of you, read the rules of this establishment they are over there by the door, any questions Lionel cannot answer I will
when I see you at supper time
; welcome to Saint Stephens Phillip
.’

     
‘
Thank you Mam
,
where will I find something to clean under the bed?
’

     
‘
Lionel
will show you; now get on with putting your things away
.’

     At the end of the room there are six tall cupboards
,
three either side of a large window,
one must be mine,
but which
,
they all look the same? I assume
it’s
the middle one on the right,
it matching
my bed position. Opening the door very carefully
,
I peep in,
it is empty except for a small white towel
,
a
face cloth
,
and a toothbrush; is this all I’m s
upposed to keep in there?