Bad as in Good (13 page)

He paused for a moment and laughed. “Oh yeah. That did happen, huh?”

“Don't act like you didn't remember.”

“I didn't…seriously. But that was nothing—at all.”

I moved his hand from my thigh and sighed. “Then why didn't you tell me anything about it?”

“ 'Cause I forgot. And besides, that's something she should've told you.”

He moved closer to me and returned his palm to my inner thigh. I pushed his hand away. “Did you enjoy it?”

He jerked his head back and turned away. “What kind of question is that? It was what it was.”

“I wanna know how makin' love to my best friend was for you. Sex ain't sex, especially not with you.”

“The last thing we did was make love. An' I dunno if it was more for her, but it damn sure was nothing for me. She had a man anyway. You ain't got nothin' to feel threatened about. You're the only woman I met in a while to get me to keep comin' back. Honestly.”

Although he meant that statement as a compliment, it didn't put him in a positive light for me. “How many girls have you been with since you've been married?”

Tariq dropped his shoulders and played with the hairs on his chin. “I tol' you, my situation at home ain't been good. I ain't proud of it, but…I was out lookin'. We've been separated longer than we've been married.”

“Then why not get a divorce?”

“We have a son. Shit changes when there's a baby.”

“How old is he?”

“Almost two.”

Things do change when there's a baby. While I imagined us throwing caution to the wind and allowing ourselves to fall into each other, I almost forgot about the young life mixed up in the middle of all this. So fresh into this world, the last thing he needed was to be reminded of the pain of a broken home. I couldn't contribute to a young boy's heartbreak. “You probably need to go back to your wife.”

“Why? I'd rather stay with you.”

“Because you need to focus on makin' a home for your family, and not messin' around wit' women like me.”

“If I met more women like you, I wouldn't be in my situation.”

“Your marriage is not a situation…it's a commitment you made before God.”

“Trust me, it's nothing more than a situation. I wanna divorce her, but shit's kinda complicated. I keep comin' back to you 'cause things aren't complicated wit' you.”

With the back and forth that went on between us, I was never too sure if Tariq was playin' me or genuinely into me. “I'm not kickin' you out, but you really do need to go.”

Tariq rubbed his hand up and down my thigh and licked his lips. He stared into my eyes and gently squeezed my skin as we silently inched closer to each other. I hadn't had sex in a while, and the
thought of wakin' up to Tariq after a long night of him lying inside me made me weak.

I reluctantly brushed his hand from my thigh and stood up. “You really want me to go?”

“No, but you still have to. I need time to think.”

“I'm not going back to my wife. I don't even like callin' her that. I'm here wit' you 'cause I wanna be, not because I'm runnin' from her.”

“Still, Tariq.”

He waited it out at first, expecting me to change my mind. If he waited a second longer, he would have gotten his wish.

“All right.”

When he stood up, I moved away from him to keep from fallin' victim to his embrace. I walked to the door and ignored the wet panties huggin' my skin.

With the door open and Tariq one minute away from leavin' me high and moist, he whispered, “Come here.”

He pulled me into his arms and pressed his lips against mine. I struggled to catch my breath as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Usually, he'd make my knees weak by slowly sliding his tongue between my lips. This time, he held no punches as he slid his hands up my boxers and gripped my booty. Moaning as he pulled my body near his, he wagged his tongue in my mouth like a beast. He ravaged my body in my doorway as I pretended as if I wanted him to stop. If we didn't stop soon, we'd end the night with the top of my head banging against my headboard.

“Hey, Erin.”

We stopped with Alonzo's interruption. I dropped my arms and moved away from the sexual trap Tariq set for me.

Tariq cut his eyes at Alonzo and back at me. “Who are you?”

“He's my neighbor.” Tariq didn't care to hear who he was. He tried to pull me back, but I moved back further. “I'll talk to you later, Tariq.”

Tariq grimaced, obviously frustrated by what he lost—a night of him having me right where he wanted me once again. For the first time, I was grateful to see Alonzo in my hallway. Tariq stood there towering over me, quietly begging me to reconsider. We both knew that the moment was gone, but apparently Tariq hadn't planned to give up that easily.

With my arms at my side and Alonzo still standing behind us, Tariq took a deep breath and then walked away. When he turned the corner, I finally opened my mouth and breathed. Alonzo said, “I'm sorry to interrupt. I dunno what I was thinkin'.”

I shrugged my shoulders and smirked. “Lucky for you, it's all good.”

“It looks like your friend didn't appreciate it.”

“He prolly didn't, but what can you do?” Uncomfortable with standing at my door in a shirt and a pair of twisted boxers, I grabbed my door to close it. “Well, I'll see you around.”

Alonzo opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something else, but he smiled and nodded instead. I shut the door without another word and then pressed my back against the wall. If it weren't for Alonzo's awkward greeting, Tariq would be inside me right now, with no question.

I grabbed the bottle of red wine peeking out of my wine rack. As I walked toward my bedroom, I realized I'd be making a detour for my bathroom in search of my vibrating companion. With Tariq heavy on my mind, I'd be satisfied one way or another. I could call Tariq a headache, but I loved the pain.

L
ouis was the manager at my local grocery. With Tariq not callin' and me trying ever so desperately to keep him off my mind, I did a lot of experimenting in the kitchen. I used my local grocer and my steel pots and pans to release my frustrations. I may have not been sexually satisfied, but I knew how to make a mean lasagna. Eventually, Louis couldn't resist the urge to chat me up at the checkout line. And with his chiseled jaw, milk chocolate skin and shoulder-length dreads, I couldn't resist the urge to chat back. His game was safe and I liked it. One second we were exchanging numbers in the parking lot. Next, I was cookin' him dinner in my apartment.

“I love a woman who can cook.”

“I like a man who can appreciate it.”

Louis and I had been on our fifth date since we exchanged numbers. When I finally invited him over, I slipped into my little black, V-neck dress and let my hair down—so did he. Our dates never went past simple kisses and long hugs goodnight. Tonight, with his hand on top of mine and our mouths full of meat sauce, I was yearning for a little more than hugs and kisses.

We watched each other chew as we sat at my dinner table. There was an awkward silence that sat at the table with us. He wanted to end our night together in bed as bad as I did. However, we couldn't get past
go and collect.

When we finished our dinner, I cleared the table and led him to my couch. “Dinner was real good.”

I kicked off my heels and leaned back. “I dunno why I thought about wearing pumps to dinner at my own home. My feet are killing me.”

“Want me to rub them?”

I didn't remember the last time Tariq offered to rub my pretty little feet—if he had ever offered at all. I happily accepted his offer and placed my feet in his lap.

When he put his hands on the arches of my feet, I melted. He carefully massaged my feet and rubbed my toes while gazing into my eyes. I bit my bottom lip and moaned. “That feels so good, Louis.”

Licking his lips, his hands felt softer, rubs were a little gentler, and strokes a bit slower. “I like makin' you happy.”

I never knew my toes had a G-spot. I squeezed my thighs together and grabbed my couch cushions as he massaged my ankles and toyed with the fine hairs of my skin. Not before long, his hands had trailed up my legs and between my thighs. To green light his entry, I spread my thighs and permitted him to rub in between. When he touched the outside of my wet panties, he grinned mischievously. I tilted my head back, then jumped when I heard my phone vibrating. I looked over at my screen and sighed when I noticed Tariq's name scrolled across the top. I pressed ignore and went back to the man who had made it his mission to make me happy.

Louis asked, “Who was that?”

I waved it off and tilted my head back. “No one important.” As I closed my eyes, I lifted my booty to give Louis permission to slide off my panties. I whispered, “Did you wanna take this to the bedroom?”

His grin widened like a Cheshire cat as he held my hand and stood us up. “I thought you'd never ask.”

•  •  •

I poked my head out of my cubicle and searched for my supervisor's face. With Louis and I having a late night, any possibility of me making it in on time for work had come and gone with the arrival of my second orgasm. It felt good waking up to the sound of his heartbeat as I rested atop his chest. Even after I saw the time, I pressed the snooze button a few more times before finally giving in. After Louis said things like, “We can make this our snow day, boo,” I almost called in sick for the whole week. However, my mama raised me to never miss work for a man who wasn't my husband—then I'd be left without a man or a job.

When I didn't notice my supervisor, I relaxed my shoulders and breathed. I started my computer and tapped on the mouse while I waited for it to load. “Good morning, Erin.”

I jumped and turned to face my supervisor. “Eric, good morning.”

Eric glanced at his watch and back at my clock. “It doesn't look like our times are off.”

I sarcastically grinned and turned to face my computer. “Yes, I was a little late. I'm sorry.”

“Was there a reason why you decided to come in almost an hour late?”

“I had a very personal issue that I tended to. I wanted to make it to work on time, but my personal issue impeded my opportunity to do so. For that, I apologize.”

To avoid any calls from HR, Eric avoided any further questioning in an attempt to pry into my personal life. Eric maintained a very impersonal yet uncomfortably personal relationship with his other employees. To avoid those awkward stares or judgmental
accusations, I made sure to keep our relationship strictly professional. He would always try to get more out of me, but I knew better. With no more questions to ask and my unrelenting stance on keeping our personal lives separate, he nodded and walked away, saying, “Don't make it a habit.”

I logged into my computer. When I checked my email, my irritation quickly subsided when I opened the email Louis recently sent me.
“At work wishin' we had our snow day, boo. Hope to see you soon.”
I quivered. I was in such a daze that I almost kissed the computer screen. After reading and rereading his message, I leaned back in my chair confident that this day would turn into a good one.

By the time lunch came, Louis and I had already exchanged a few dozen cute little notes professing our emotions for one another and reeling about how great our night had been. I didn't want to leave my computer, but my stomach was growling, and his email would be there when I got back. I quickly headed to the sub shop down the street from my job and pre-ordered my favorite meatball sub.

I was on such a high that I almost didn't react when I bumped into Loraine. She nervously smiled at me, staying quiet until I made the first move. “Hey.” I was in a good mood; I could take the first step.

Her smile widened as she breathed and relaxed her shoulders. “Hey, Erin.”

“How have you been?”

“You know, same ol' same.”

I checked the time. We stood there awkwardly waiting for someone to say something, unaware of how this conversation would turn out. I certainly hadn't planned to jump down her throat in the middle of a sub shop, but all I needed was a reason. “How have things been going with your sis?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Girl, you know nothing ever changes with her.”

I was upset that our conversation evolved into forced dialogue in a crowded sub shop. I missed my friend. However, I couldn't let her think that lying by omission was a good way to carry what I thought was a great friendship. “Well, I need to grab my sub and get back to work.”

“Still eating those meatball subs, huh?”

“Loraine, it's been a month since we talked. I'm not switching subs that quick.”

“I know. I…I missed you, Erin.”

And there it was—my opportunity to address our issues by either dismissing them or breathing life back into them. If I admitted to missing her, too, I'd give up all leverage and have to forgive her right then and there. If I ignored her comment, I'd be the bitch who was taking things a little too seriously for a man who never treated me right in the first place.
Should I continue to punish my
dearest friend for keeping a secret of that nature from me?
She definitely deserved to feel the wrath of her betrayal, but it got fuzzy when I tried to determine the proper time limit for my “coolin'-off period.” We stood there, both of us waiting to hear what I had to say. My lunch hour was almost up, and I had to make a decision before I walked out of that shop. I took a deep breath. “Because I miss you too doesn't excuse what happened. I'm still upset with you.”

Loraine lowered her eyes like a bad little girl and responded carefully. “I understand. I don't even know why I would keep that from you. I dunno what was going through my mind.”