Bad as in Good (8 page)

I stood up and grabbed her hand and led her to my car. Claiming her before I was given her last name—still shocked that I remembered her first name.
Simoné.
With her palm resting on my chest, she whispered in my ear, “Nice car.” She eyed my chocolate brown 2012 Infiniti G and slid her finger along the body. Resting her plum booty on my door, she folded her arms and licked her lips. “You're so cute.”

I laughed. “Whatchu got planned fo' me?”

She laughed, too. She moved in closer and pressed her breasts against my chest. She confirmed my permission to slide my hands down her waist to her ass. She grinned and moved her face closer to mine. “What do you want me to do?”

I pulled her head closer and took over her lips like a savage. She was mine for the taking in the middle of the parking lot in broad daylight. We had met ten minutes ago and already my tongue was down her throat. I could feel her wet pussy on my thigh. Any other day, I would have taken this as another win, but her boldness enticed
me.
Who was this chick to let me do this to her for everyone to see?
When we pulled ourselves apart from each other, I licked my lips and sucked the taste of bubble gum lip gloss from my lips. “Where'd you park?”

“I rode with my girls so I can ride home with you.”

“You goin' to invite yo' self to my house?”

She smiled. “You can come home wit' me instead.”

Why is this so easy? More importantly, why do I like it so much?
I tested the waters. I needed to see what lines she'd let me cross and determine if she was worth the crossing. “We could hit the backseat instead.”

Her smile faded as quickly as it came and her head tilted to the side. When her hands went to her hips and her eyes started rolling, I chuckled. “We could not, ” she said.

I threw my hands up in surrender. I tested the waters and didn't like what I got. I pulled out my keys and agreed to take her home. I couldn't pass up the chance to feel something different than what I'd been feeling. When she hopped in my car and I cranked up the ignition, I continued to stake claim on my possession. I slid her panties to the side and was delighted in the fact that she didn't ask me to stop—and at the rate we were going, I didn't know how.

•  •  •

Simoné.
I couldn't stop saying her name. Simoné. My usual routine was to love 'em and leave 'em. With her, she had me checkin' in every other day. She easily allowed me to slide in between and gut her like a fish, and I foolishly gorged on that. It wasn't long before I found myself sleeping over after sex, having meaningful conversations, and meetin' her girls. I was breaking every rule in the player handbook and I didn't care. It wasn't like I had any real plans
of marrying her. I still fucked around when I could, but Simoné was my main. She was down fo' whateva, and I was always down wit' it. However, wit' all good things, the end will surface.

“Who's this bitch callin' you?”

I grabbed my phone from my bedroom dresser and tucked it in my back pocket. I stood up and continued zippin' my pants. “Ain't nobody important.”

With her breath on my neck, she said, “Must be important enough if the bitch got the nerve to keep blowin' up yo' phone.”

I took a deep breath and stood up. I didn't love Simoné, but I respected her emotions—to an extent. Usually, when she expressed emotion, it was anger or lust. This was the first time I experienced jealousy. “Why are you trippin'?”

She put her hands on her hips and twisted her neck. “Fuck you, Riq. I'm asking you to tell me who the fuck you got blowin' up yo' phone like she the fuckin' police. Tell me who she is!”

I cocked my head back and laughed at the audacity of this woman. Although I cared about her enough to listen when she spoke, she ventured into dangerous territory—the type of territory that involved her feelin' as if she had pull in the business I handled outside of our relationship. Yea, I called her back when I couldn't answer. I paid a few bills. I even rubbed her feet a few times. However, if I ever gave her any inclination that she was more than an unhealthy convenience, the change had to start today.

“Lemme leave now 'cause you must be on somethin'.” I grabbed my keys off her dresser and headed for her bedroom door.

Before I had the chance to pass through the doorway, she grabbed my arm and yanked me backward. “Did I say I was done talkin' to you?”

I stepped back and glared at her. “Who the fuck you think you
talkin' to? I ain't one of these weak-ass lil' boys you be fuckin' wit'. I'm a grown-ass man.”

“Well, a grown-ass man knows how to respect his woman.”

“How the fuck am I disrespecting you?”

“By havin' some random ho callin' yo' number an' not having the respect to tell me who the fuck she is.”

I yanked my arm from her grasp and headed for her front door. I hoped she'd let me leave and handle my business, but like a four-year-old, she beat me to the door and blocked my exit. “Aye, man, go on wit' that bullshit. I ain't got time to be dealin' wit' all this.”

“Oh, so you got time to lie down and fuck me, but when I need you to be real, you quick to pussy out.”

“Man, apparently you been smokin' on some shit 'cause I dunno where none of this is even comin' from. You need to move.”

She folded her arms across her chest. “Or what?”

I laughed. Her show was amusing. When I met her, she made it seem like she wasn't with all this petty nonsense. But like every woman, she was showing her colors.

“For real, girl. Go on somewhere wit' that. Get out the way, Simoné.”

She licked her lips and stood her ground. She didn't have any plans of moving from her spot any time soon, and I wasn't the man to put my hands on her to make her move. I had two options. I could either tell her that the woman on the phone was one of my many sideline hoes I had on speed dial who was lookin' to ride a dick worth straddling—or I could do what her lips were asking me to.

I walked up to her, firmly pushing her back against the door, and sucked on the side of her neck. She tried to push me off, but I pinned her wrists to the wall. “Get the fuck off me, Riq.” She
moaned. When I grabbed her thighs and wrapped them around my waist, she nibbled on her bottom lip. “I hate when you do this.”

I chuckled and licked the bottom of her chin. “Yea, I know,” I whispered as I sucked on her lips while I unbuckled my belt. With my pants on the floor, I slid my tongue between her lips and found the wetness she tried to hide behind her protests.

When I dug inside her, she freed herself from my hold and grabbed the back of my neck. “Oh, Riq,” she groaned as she gritted her teeth and squeezed her thighs around my waist. “Yes, don't stop.”

I kissed a trail of kisses down her neck and chest while I beckoned for her arrival. Yet, instead of allowing her to continue to barricade my only way out, I grabbed her ass and led her quivering body to her plush living room couch. “You want me to stop?” I jokingly asked as I stroked deep inside of her.

She squeezed her hips tighter around my dick to warn me not to. I smiled as I kissed her lips some more. “You better not.” Between kisses, she moaned while gripping my head and clutching her couch cushion. When her body started shaking and her breaths became shorter, I listened to her body and matched my movements with hers. Quickly, yet thoughtfully, I caressed her skin while pushing inside of her. I slightly trembled at the melody her
oohs
and
ahs
made as she came. She fell limp to her peak. I slowly slid out of her and pulled up my pants.

“I'ma call you later,” I said as I ran for the door.

“I love you,” she whispered.

Before I had a real opportunity to answer, I let the door close behind me as I proceeded to my car.

I was wrong, but I had to do what I had to do. I did feel guilty. Even though I never confirmed my exclusivity to her, she had the right to assume that she was my only woman. And expressing her
true emotions in the midst of my haste was her prerogative. However, her sense of the title of “Tariq's woman” spanned way beyond what I was willing and ready to give her. Unfortunately, in my refusal to give her the treatment she deserved, she was forced to fill in the blanks that I left with my avoidance, denial, and missed phone calls. Nevertheless, I couldn't ignore the fact that my original intentions with her hadn't changed; rather, I didn't want them to change. By now I would have been on to the next; yet, I was still there. Our consistency allowed her the option to sneak into my subconscious at night and get me daydreamin' ‘bout her. I often fantasized about her lips, her voice, and her presence. She had me breakin' all the rules, and I was doing everything in my power to refuse it. Nevertheless, Simoné was nothing if not persistent, and it was a turn-on that I couldn't deny. My original intentions were not to settle down but keep her in the rotation. Hence, I've achieved my goal. Still, she wanted more, and I tried not to give it to her. According to her, she loved me; unfortunately for her, I didn't want to reciprocate.

The thing between Tariq and me was complicated. We became each other's drug, and damn if it ain't feel good to get high off him. However, I couldn't keep playin' the fool, especially with a man I had no business playin' with.

“Are we ever goin' to talk about your wife, Tariq?”

He dropped his boyish smile. At first, he was playfully tickling my stomach, trying to go for round two, as we lay naked in my bed at two in the morning. Then, he rested his back on my headboard and chewed on his bottom lip. “You had to kill the mood, huh?”

I sat up and put on my robe. “Tariq, we have to discuss your marriage at some point.”

“Does it have to be right now?”

“If not now, then when?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Is it even important? I ain't even tryna get into all that right now.”

I yanked off my covers. “Then you need to leave.”

I stood up and pointed at my front door. I ran the risk of ending a very beneficial sexual relationship, but I had to do what was best for me emotionally. It felt good to feel him inside of me, but it felt worse to watch him leave. I was left with sticky thighs and a head full of questions. I was tired of crying over a man that didn't belong
to me. I would miss his company, but I had to respect the woman that stared back at me in the mirror.

“It's like that?”

“You're not gonna play me like I'm the fool in all this. You had me jump out yo' damn window, Tariq, while your wife stood in your living room. Then, I don't hear from you in a month. So, yes, it's like that.”

He was lying there staring at me. I wanted badly to hear what had been going through his mind. Was he secretly laughing at my
Waiting to Exhale
moment? Here I was thinkin' we might have had something going when all he wanted was a quick nut. I wondered if he was he truly hurt by my dismissal. Could he have actually fallen for me after countless nights of dry kisses and sweaty embraces?

He turned his head and got out of bed. “All right, then.”

We didn't exchange any more words. He put on his clothes and walked toward my front door. I wanted to be done with him. I didn't want to cry when he shut the door behind him, but I couldn't deny my feelings. I was fallin' for him. He disrespected me, mistreated me, and lied to me, but I thought about him at work. I let him enter my bed night after night while he left his wife questioning his whereabouts. I was the other woman. I was mad at him but more mad at myself for lettin' him do me like he did and actually enjoying it. It was time to move on to someone who was willin' to treat me right.

When he walked out my door without even a goodbye, I wiped the tear that crept down my cheek and meandered back into my bedroom. This time, when I lay naked in my bed, it wouldn't be next to a man who would rather lie to me than love me.

“Did you speak to your sister?”

Loraine and I sat across from each other at a coffee shop during our lunch break. We both hung our heads low as we contemplated our lives. “I decided to let her stay.”

“That's nice. How'd that work out?”

“I couldn't kick my little sister out. Besides, she's going back to her dorm in a few weeks anyway.” Loraine sipped on her tea and twirled one of her loose locs.

“What's the vibe between you two now?”

“It's definitely different. I don't see her as my innocent lil' sis. I realized she was no saint but…” She sighed and took another sip of her tea. “I don't know what that girl does while she's in college. I hope she's not that girl who fucks her professors for all As.”

I swirled my spoon in the cold coffee I spent six dollars to waste. “Don't say that. You two should spend the next few weeks tryna get over this hump.”

“How are things with you and Tariq?”

I wanted to redirect the conversation back to Loraine and her sister, but it would only have us going around in circles. I pursed my lips and shrugged my shoulders. “It is what it is.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“I kicked him out of my apartment the other night.”

Loraine raised her eyebrows in disbelief. “I'm surprised you had the balls to actually do that. I expected you to actually keep the charade going.”

“Charade?”

“How long did you expect an affair with a man who barely cares about you to last? You should've never let him back in the first time.”

“The same could've been said when you foolishly let your ex-husband back in your life after he cheated on and mistreated you
only to do it to you all over again.” I took offense to her blatant disregard for my bruised emotions and paid no regard to her ego. “Every woman plays the fool at least once in her life, but what can you do?”