Back To Me (26 page)

              I had to laugh at that one. “Never do.”

              I disconnected the call and jumped in the passenger side of Luke’s truck. I leaned my head back, resting it against the seat.

              “She’ll be fine, Billy, but will you?”

              “I don’t know. Either way, whether I end up dead or not, life as I know it is pretty much over. I mean, any hope I had with Heather is gone.”

              “I know it doesn’t sound like much right now, but you’ve always got me and Lauren. You know that, right?”

              I nodded. “Yeah, Luke, I know, and it’s more than enough. Thanks for having my back.”

              “Don’t mention it,” he said, clearing his throat. “Let’s get you home and on the road.”

              He was right. There was no way I was waiting on George for anything. No telling how long it would take the lab to process the damn teddy bear and box. Stuff like that could take weeks, and I didn’t have that kind of time. If Tom had tried to kill his own daughter, who knows what lengths he would go to next, especially since he didn’t succeed. No, the sooner I dealt with Tom the better, and then I’d move on to Raul and then Sergio. Whoever stood in my way was going down, consequences be damned. I wasn’t in turmoil about the carnage I would cause. The causalities would simply be an afterthought. These men needed to go down a long time ago, and if it hadn’t been for Tom they would have. It was
past time
to put these assholes where they belonged; six feet under.

              Luke continued driving me further and further from the only woman I’d ever love. Heather was a part of me; the best parts that I knew I’d lose in the coming days. I was going to have to revert to my old ways: to the monster I’d been for so many years. I couldn’t afford to feel anything other than hate in order to get through this. My angel had softened me, in a good way of course, but in a way that I could no longer think about. That chapter of my life was over, at least for the foreseeable future.

              “I gotta call Blake,” I mumbled. I wasn’t looking forward to the conversation, as I knew he was only going to agree with George.

              “Go ahead,” Luke replied.

              Blake answered on the first ring. “Talked to Caleb, I take it?”

              “Yeah. What’s up?”

              “I delivered everything to Whitney myself and told her to put a rush on it.”

              Whitney was head of the FBI lab, and the one that had pretty much made this entire case with Raul a priority. I knew we could trust her.

              “Does she know what’s going on?”

              “Yeah, George and I filled her in on everything, from Tom down to Heather and this damn gift. How is she, by the way?”

              “She’s okay. Still very sick, but the doctors said she’ll get better. She didn’t ingest enough of whatever was on the bear for it to be fatal. Any clues?”

              “Yeah,” he breathed. “Sulfate cyanide. I could smell it as soon as I got it. Heather must not have noticed.”

             
Shit!
“Yeah, kinda gotta know what to look for,” I amended. I felt blood trickle from my lip where I had bitten down so hard.

              “We’ll know more soon. Whitney said maybe by tomorrow. In the meantime, what are you planning?”

              “What are you talking about?” I asked, dumbfounded.

              “I know you, Billy. I know you have something in the works. Might as well spill the beans now.”

              “I let her go,” I said, ruefully.

              “What do you mean, ‘you let her go’?” he asked.

              “I lied. She thinks I hate her; that we’re through.”

              “And are you?” Blake quizzed.

              “I hope not, but that remains to be seen. I love her, I know that much. I always will. That’s why I’m doing what’s best for her.”

              Blake chuckled on the other end of the line. “What time shall I be expecting your arrival?”

              I smiled. He did know me well. “Within the next nine to ten hours I’d say. Meet at Tommy’s?”

              “I’ll be there. Call when you get into town.”

              Just like that, Blake disconnected the call. Luke was silent, having only heard one side of the conversation. I filled him in, letting him know I wouldn’t be entirely alone. I knew George would be against it, but Blake wouldn’t leave my side. Once partners, always partners.

              We pulled into the drive and Luke put the truck in park. We sat in silence. There was so much to say, yet neither of us wanted to be the one to start.

              “Look,” we said, simultaneously.

              I laughed. “Go ahead,” I insisted.

              “I was just gonna say be careful and make sure you check in with me. Lauren and I will make sure Heather’s okay, so don’t worry about that. Just concentrate on what needs to be done.”

              I exhaled a sigh of relief. I would always worry about Heather. It was as natural as breathing to me, but I knew she was in good hands here.

              “I appreciate that, Luke. More than you’ll ever know.”

              “I owe you for saving Lauren’s life. It’s the least I can do.”

              “Ahh, you’d do it anyways,” I surmised.

              “Yeah, I would. For you, Billy, I would. There was a time you were there for me when I needed a friend. You stood up for me against my dad when no one else would. You and Randy both got me through a really rough time. Then there was Lauren. She and I wouldn’t be where we are if it weren’t for you. And Sam?” Luke teared up. “My whole life would be different without you in it, Billy. Not better, just different.”

              I leaned over and clasped the back of his shoulder. “Mine, too, brother. Mine, too.”

              “I’ll get the other guys in on this. Let ‘em know what’s going on. Heather will have plenty of bodyguards until you give the word that there’s no longer a need.”

              I nodded my head and looked away.

              “Then you bring your ass home,” he continued. “Back to your family; to the people that love and care about you. And don’t you dare push us all away like before either.
No matter what
.”

              “No matter what,” I promised.

              We gave one another an awkward-guy-half-hug, and then I leaped from the truck.

              “Be safe, man,” he called from behind me.

              “I will. See ya around.”

              Luke gave me one last smile and then drove away.

              I ran inside, quickly grabbing a few things I’d need. I didn’t plan on being gone as long as I’d told Heather, but it wouldn’t be a quick in and out either. Raul would stay well hidden, just as he always had. It wasn’t in his nature to be on the front lines, bearing the brunt of the wrath he so deserved. He had plenty of men he was more than willing to sacrifice for that. Besides, my main focus right now was Tom. He needed to be eliminated to get to Raul anyhow. With him hiding behind Raul, and the premise that he was a good guy, the task would be difficult.

              I grabbed some t-shirts from my dresser drawer; pulling out handfuls at a time without even checking them. A stack of jeans, some socks and underwear completed the clothing portion of my packing. Next it was on to more important matters. I still had my old shield, the one I’d
‘lost’
and was never able to turn in. I knew it wasn’t legal, but it might help me out of a jam. I also grabbed my gun, my favorite glock, and a spare just in case. I stuffed the outside pocket of my duffle back with extra ammunition, just to be on the safe side. I also had a pair of handcuffs, which may or may not have been from my days with the agency, along with my Taser. Not the deadliest thing in the world, but it could knock someone on their ass in a pinch. I packed limited toiletries, my cell phone charger and last but certainly not least, a picture of Heather. Something to look at when things started to look grim, and I knew the day would soon come.

              I walked back through the house and into the kitchen. Pulling a few water bottles lose from the packaging, I stuffed them into a small cooler. A few packs of crackers, some peanut butter, and a couple of apples should get me through a day or two. I was used to going without eating for long periods of time; this was nothing new for me. I’d manage just fine.

              I threw my duffle bag over my shoulder, grabbed my cooler in one hand and my keys in the other. I took one last look around before heading to the front door. It was then that I saw it. What appeared to be torn ribbon and tissue paper from the gift that Heather had received, unbeknownst to her by her own father. My stomach twisted into knots.
How could someone do that to their own child?
Not to mention the cowardly way he’d left her broken years ago. I gritted my teeth and bit down so hard that my jaw muscles flexed painfully. As hard as it was to imagine, I needed to keep this buried inside me so that when the time came, I could take Tom down without guilt. He deserved everything he had coming to him.

              I checked the locks one more time before pulling the front door to, and then jiggled the handle for good measure.

              I climbed in my truck and turned the ignition. It was close to three in the morning. Providing there was no traffic, and I was positive there wouldn’t be, I should make it by ten or eleven in the morning. It would be a straight drive through, but that was alright. I’d find a place to hole up and rest when I got there. I yawned and stretched, then cranked up my favorite CD. I turned the volume over halfway up, letting the pulsating rhythm drum through my ears and into my brain. It was the best way to drown out my thoughts and just be somewhere else, even if for only a brief time.

              I drove for several hours before pulling off to refuel and stretch my legs. It’d been a long haul already, with about three more hours left to go. I’d made amazing time and just as I’d suspected, there was absolutely no traffic. My mind had been on Heather the entire time, no matter how much I’d tried to tune her out. I was dying to call Luke and check in, but if she was nearby I knew she’d only get suspicious. It was a no-no to make personal calls while on assignment. If she knew anything, she knew that. I wasn’t about to take the risk of her coming after me. So…. I’d wait. Impatiently. It was two days before I heard anything.

35

Heather

              Two days. I’d been in the hospital for two days with no word from Billy after his hateful farewell. He hadn’t even called to check on me to see if I was still alive. It hurt deeply, but I’d never tell anyone.

              Lauren had stayed with me pretty much around the clock. Luke had taken her home the first night to check on Sam and get her car. Since then she’d been back and forth, only leaving when necessary. While I preferred Billy, Lauren had been an amazing companion, getting me through the long days and nights. She even helped me get cleaned up when I was too weak to take a shower. We also had some deep discussions about Billy, though I really hadn’t wanted to talk about him. All she kept saying was for me to
‘trust her’,
whatever that meant, but I had a feeling she meant more than the usual trust between friends. I just had to figure it out.

              “Good morning, sunshine!” Lauren sang as she entered the room. “Ready to bust out of this joint today?”

              “More than you know!” I sat up slowly and hung my legs off the side of the bed. The nausea was much better, but the weakness was not. My limbs still felt heavy and unsupportive. Lauren helped me to stand.

              “I gotcha,” she said, sweetly. “Lean on me if you need to.”

              We shuffled to the bathroom. One look in the mirror had me shrinking back in horror. I looked like a monster that had been hit by a train and then doused with gasoline, lit with a match and tossed in a landfill. Seriously, it was that bad. I groaned and Lauren laughed.

              “We’ll take care of this, sweetie. You’ll look good as new when I get through with you!” Lauren clapped her hands together like she was doing a cheer. All I needed was to pee. My bladder was hurting!!

              Lauren turned and busied herself at the sink while I took care of my necessary morning routine. Once finished, she helped me stand so I could lean over and wash my hands.

              She fixed my toothbrush and set it on the side. “Here, this will make you feel tons better!”

              I brushed my teeth for a good five minutes and it did help, tremendously. I felt like a new woman already.

              Next Lauren took a spray bottled and dampened my frizzy hair. It took several minutes to get the brush through the knots and she kept apologizing, but there was no need. No one had fixed my hair since I was a little girl and it felt kinda nice to be taken care of. There wasn’t much that could be done with it, so a simple ponytail was the way to go. I decided to skip any makeup until I could get a real shower. I opted instead for a cold washcloth and some lotion. My skin felt so dry and itchy, probably another side effect of the poison.

              “Feel better?”

              “Much. Thank you, Lauren.”

              She gave me a full smile and hugged me tightly. “We’re gonna get through this. I promise everything will be okay.”

              I let a few tears fall before quickly wiping them away. I wanted to break down, but I wouldn’t do that in front of anyone. I’d wait until I was behind closed doors, just like always.

              Lauren helped me back to the bed where we waited for the nurse to come in with my discharge papers. “Here ya go, sweetheart. It’s been a pleasure taking care of you, but hope we don’t see you again!” Sheila blurted out.

              I chuckled. “I hope not either, but thank you for everything. You’ve been so nice to me.”

              Sheila smiled. “Just sign here and I’ll go get a wheelchair to get you outta this joint!”

              I thumbed through the many pages that were there, confused as to why she’d left me with more than normal. Usually it was just one or two pages, along with instructions for when you arrived home. Surely it was some mistake that she had included my personal chart and labs. It wasn’t illegal of course, but highly unusual for a patient to see their chart. I discreetly peaked at the information.

Name:
Heather R. Harrison
Age:
26
Race:
W
Sex:
F

              *blood pressure
                  
198/141 -initial

             
*weight
                       
unknown- approx. 120

              *
symptoms (initial)
         
weak, mumbling
,                                                        
vomiting, hallucinations,
                                                       
profuse sweating, intolerable
                                                       
to light and voices.
Possible              
                                         
drug overdose
.

             
*test run
                           
All lab work done

                                         
In house, return to Dr.CM

                                         
ASAP. MRI, no
             
rudimentary or preliminary findings. Average and unimpressive. Light testing- pupils dilated but otherwise unresponsive. Urine test- negative for opiates and other drugs. Monitored daily- day 1, very ill, vomiting. Day 2- weakness, dry heaves, no fever. Treated with Sulfate Intravenously, Tylenol for fever. Packed with ice packs when burning up to help alleviate discomfort.

              *Determination of symptoms                           
poisoning- potential purposeful, or maliciously. Notified authorities after questioning family members/friends. No suspicious activity or intent noted. Findings were direct result of sulfate cyanide poisoning through skin contact. Patient should make a full recovery, providing she does not come in contact with cyanide again. Twice as likely to have fatal effect initial ingestion. 

Patient discharge – sent home with friend. Spoke with boyfriend. Patient is to remain in the state of Montana with regular checkups/ visits with Dr. Carmichael, at which time contact will be notified of patient’s status.

             
What the hell?
So Billy was paying Dr. Carmichael to keep me here and give me a regular checkup, only to report back to him? Oh,
hell no!
This confirmed my suspicions that more was going on. That coupled with Lauren’s repeated
‘trust me’
proved I was right.

              I flipped back to the first page on the clipboard, careful not to let on that I was upset. Lauren was busying herself with packing what few belongings and provisions she’d been nice enough to bring during my brief stay here. I took the pen and signed on the dotted line.

              Within a few minutes, Sheila reentered the room. “All ready!” she sang. She was pushing a wheelchair that had my name written all over it. I was more than ready to get on with this. I had a lot of detective work to get started on.

              Lauren and Sheila helped me into the wheelchair. Once I was settled, Lauren grabbed our belongings and held the door open, wide enough that we could get through without me getting banged up in the process.

              Before now I hadn’t left my room; not for any reason, and just wheeling past the nurses’ station I felt myself relax.
Now to make it to the outside and get some real fresh air!
A few of the women that had alternated caring for me wished me well as Sheila wheeled me out. I smiled and thanked them, all while keeping up pretenses. I had to for now, especially with Lauren. If anyone could read right through me, it’d be her.

              “I’ll go get my car!” Lauren said, walking around us. I used her absence as a chance to quiz Sheila.

              “Um, Sheila?”

              “Yes, sweetie?” she replied.

              “Why did you leave those papers for me to see?” I asked, looking her directly in the eyes.

              She played dumb. “What papers?”

              “The papers that were left underneath my release form. Surely you must have known about that.”

              “Oh. My mistake. Please don’t tell anyone. I could get in a lot of trouble.”

              “My lips are sealed,” I assured her.

              Just when I was sure I wasn’t going to get anything else out of her, she spoke up. “I don’t think it’s right for a patient to be kept in the dark regarding their diagnosis. I also don’t agree with someone making decisions for my patient if they’re more than capable of making those choices for themselves. Beyond that, I don’t know how I could’ve possibly overlooked your records with such carelessness.” Sheila looked down at me and winked.

              “Thank you,” I whispered.

              Sheila patted my shoulder just as Lauren was pulling up with the car. “You feel better, sweetie,” she told me.

              Once the two of them helped me into the car, we were off towards home, wherever
home
was now. I wasn’t sure. I knew Billy had definitely left town, but I didn’t truly believe he’d be gone for months. I also knew that he had gone after Raul, which led me to consider the possibility that he’d been the one who poisoned me. Why else would he have gone? It didn’t make sense otherwise.

              “We’ll stop by and pick up your things. You’re going to stay with us for a while.”

              “Lauren, that’s very kind of you, but….”

              “No buts,” she argued. “We have more than enough room, and besides, I could use some help. Sam will love that you’re there.”

              We arrived at Billy’s in no time; seemingly less time than it took to get
to
the hospital. Everything looked the same on the outside, but I knew the inside was empty. Emptier than ever, and it’d never feel like anything else. Anywhere I went would be empty without Billy.

              Lauren opened the door, either with a spare key she already had, or one that Billy had given her before he left. I chose not to say anything and instead continued to play dumb. She’d only try to stonewall me from learning the truth. Even though we were becoming friends, I knew her loyalty was to Billy, and rightfully so.

              “Here we go,” she said, shoving the door open. “Need any help?”

              “No, I don’t have much,” I confessed. “I won’t be long.”

              Lauren nodded and looked at the floor. I wasn’t going to push her, or manipulate her into telling me her secret. When she was ready I was certain she wouldn’t hold back. Until then I’d just have to bide my time.

              I shuffled ruefully to the back of the house; to the guest room I’d stayed in only briefly. For the most part my belongings were still packed. I had a few toiletries in the bathroom, all of which only took seconds to collect and dump into my duffle bag. I had some clothing in Billy’s room, though I contemplated leaving them rather than going in there. I didn’t want to smell his scent and know he was really and truly gone, but with my limited wardrobe I didn’t have much of a choice.

              I walked back through the living room and observed Lauren staring at a picture on the mantle.

              “You alright?” I asked, concerned.

              Lauren jumped, startled by my sudden question. “I’m fine, just looking around.”

              “I won’t be much longer.”

              I scurried away, pep talking myself all the way down the hallway. I already felt like a part of me was missing, and opening the bedroom door was only going to add insult to injury.
I am a glutton for punishment
. I pushed open the door, holding my breath the entire time. That only lasted about ten seconds and I was forced to take in air, along with Billy’s masculine scent. Tears sprang to my eyes as I looked around. His room was a mess; his hasty getaway apparent from the disarray of clothing littering the floor. Checking in the bathroom, I noticed his toothbrush, razor and brush were gone. His phone that always laid on the night stand was missing, obviously, and that stupid gun that I loathed was not there either. My stomach flip-flopped, and I dry-heaved, trying to will the sickness away. It worked momentarily, but I knew I had to get out of there quick. It was crushing and I wasn’t strong enough to endure. I found a few of my shirts laying on the end of the bed, and a pair of my jeans buried underneath Billy’s. I rifled through, making sure I hadn’t left anything behind. I also stole a few of his tees, not feeling the least bit ashamed. They still had his scent and it would help me get through the lonely days ahead.

              I shoved everything in an extra bag and quickly exited the room. “That’s everything,” I announced.

              “You okay?” she quizzed.

              I shrugged. “Yeah, I’m good,” I lied. I knew I wasn’t any good at it, but I didn’t care. I was so tired of pretending that everything was fine.
That I was fine
.