Back To Me (35 page)

              Forgetting Caleb and Blake’s pow-wow on the opposite side of the room, I stood and made my way over to Lauren who was almost cowering. I placed my finger under her chin, forcing her to look up at me.

              “Baby girl, I don’t blame you, okay? It’s all gonna be alright,” I promised. I saw the tears brimming her lashes and I felt like such an ass. Had I been so terrible that all my friends were afraid of me?

              “It is my fault,” she whispered.

              I was waiting for Luke to come to her rescue like always. I knew it killed him to see her cry, but when I glanced over my shoulder, he was still standing next to Rose, both of them with their arms crossed and smiling as they took in our exchange.

              “No,” I corrected, “It’s Tom’s fault. It’s Raul’s fault. It’s
my
fault. Lauren, none of this is on you, okay? Heather’s gonna be alright and we’ll just take it day by day.”

              “What if you can’t save her?” she lamented. “What if her story doesn’t have the happy ending mine did? What then?” she asked, wiping away tears.

              “I promise you, baby girl, that I’m gonna do everything in my power to give her that. I love her, Lauren. The same way Luke loves you. There’s no stopping a love like that, and you should know that better than anyone.”

              “She loves you, too,” she grinned. “She’s got her damn stubborn pride, but she does.”

              “What do you mean?”

              “I mean,” she spoke in a serious tone, “That right now she’s lying in that bed thinking you’re going to hate her for your house burning down. She’s mad that you chose your job over her
again
. She’s furious that she keeps ending up here, in this hospital, when she should be with you.”

              I understood Lauren’s words immediately. “She’s blocking me out, huh?” I grinned widely. This was so typical for Heather. She was guarded, that much was obvious. Now I just had to figure out how to break down those walls again. This was my most important mission ever.

              Lauren gave me the brightest smile, a stark contrast to her mood just seconds before. “You’re a pretty smart guy to be such a stubborn jackass sometimes,” she said. “You’ll figure it out.”

              I nodded my head in agreement as my shoulders shook with laughter. I leaned down and placed a kiss on her head. “Tell Sam I love her, and give her a hug from me.”

              “Will do,” she replied with a salute.

              I was watching them walk away when Lauren suddenly turned back and darted in my direction. Throwing herself at me, she gave me a hug and whispered in my ear. “Us girls are stubborn, too, Billy, but whatever you do,
don’t
give up on Heather. Don’t let her push you away.”

              I gave her a beaming smile. “I won’t, baby girl. I won’t.”

              It was true. I’d let Heather push me away more than once, and each time was a mistake. She needed me, I knew she did, and I needed her. Not only that, I wanted her.
Only her
. I wasn’t going to let her get away so easily this time.

              After they left, I turned my attention down the hallway to where Heather was hopefully resting. I forgot all about Blake and Caleb, and whatever they were planning. Everyone was right. I had to let it go. Getting Heather to trust me again was key and that wouldn’t happen if I kept running off.

              Wasting no time, I made my way down the stark-white hallway. I tapped lightly on the door, but didn’t wait for her to answer. If she knew it was me, she’d have told me to go away.

              I stood and watched her for a few minutes, realizing she was wide awake, but pretending to be asleep. I kept my composure, wiping the smile from my face. I knew she’d be able to see it through her fluttering eyelids.
Okay, so this is how she wanted to play it?
I’m game.

              I sat in the chair next to her bed and scooted closer so I could touch her. I pretended not to notice her pulse beating faster the moment my hand touched hers, or the way she let out a sigh of pleasure. I wouldn’t let on that I noticed her breath catch in her throat, or the flush that was evident on her cheeks. She wanted me to think she wasn’t affected by my touch and I’d give her that.
For now.

              Leaning over so I was just above her face, I whispered, “I’m here, angel. I’m here and everything is alright.” A lone tear escaped my eye, but I wiped it away as I took her in.

              No doubt she’d been through hell. Her hair was singed and still had flakes of ash scattered throughout. She had on a hospital gown, of course. There was no sign of her clothes, but I knew they were destroyed. The faint stench of burnt flesh hung in the air, but I didn’t see any burns on her body. My heart thumped loudly in my chest as I realized for the first time just how badly this could’ve ended. I wanted to take her in my arms right there and never let her go, but I knew she wasn’t ready yet. She was still in shock, hanging on the edge. I didn’t want to be the one to push her off the cliff.

              I sighed, pushing all thoughts of her physical appearance aside. She was still and always would be my angel. She was beautiful, no matter what. I brushed the hair from her face and continued studying her without uttering another sound. I think she truly was asleep now, and I smiled to myself knowing my tender touches had lulled her to sleep.

              “Get some rest, angel,” I said, bending over and placing a soft kiss on her lips. “I love you, Heather. I’m not leaving you again. Not ever again,” I stressed, sincerely. She was my life. Always had been and always would be.

              I sat at her side, quietly contemplating the past. It was never my job that made me a man. It wasn’t the kill, or how many bad guys I’d taken down. It wasn’t the recognition from my brothers, or my superiors. It was
her
. It was her love for me and my love for her. It was the fact that she made me want to do better and try harder. Rose was right. What was in the past didn’t matter. Heather was my here and now. That’s all that mattered.

51

Heather

              I felt Billy’s presence before he ever knocked on the door. I always knew when he was near. A jolt of electricity surged through my veins, but I cowardly feigned sleep, hoping he would just go away. I couldn’t speak to him right now. In fact, right now was the
worst
possible time.

              I held tight to my tears as he stroked my arms and face, all the while whispering how much he loved me, and how things were going to be different from now on.
Oh, how much I wanted to jump in his arms and tell him I believed him.
But I couldn’t do that. In fact, I might not ever get the chance again. There was something he didn’t know. Something that no one knew.

              So I pretended to be asleep, desperate for him to leave and yet wanting him so badly to stay. I heard the chair scoot across the floor and then I felt Billy leaning over me. When he placed his soft lips on mine, I carefully guarded the whimper that tried to escape. I loved this man more than anything; more than my own life, but I had to let him go. My heart shattered into a thousand pieces when I heard the door to my room shut, signaling he was gone.

              “Alone at last,” Tom hissed, coming from the shadows of the bathroom, possibly even the fiery pits of hell.

              I didn’t respond. There was no need. He’d come for me again and nothing was going to stop him this time. Tears fell, spilling out over my cheeks and onto the hard, scratchy linens below. It didn’t matter if he was my father. My tears had no effect on him whatsoever.

              “Let’s go,” he commanded. “Up you get! And take off that damn oxygen!” His voice was low, but threatening all the same. He grabbed my arm roughly and pulled me to a sitting position. “Put this on!” he barked.

              He threw a ratty bathrobe my direction and my body lurched in disgust. It smelled horrible and it was covered in stains.
Gross!
The malice in his eyes told me I didn’t have a choice. I stood, groaning as my muscles ached and cramped in retaliation from last night’s ordeal. I wrapped the tattered rag around me and secured it at the waist with the attached belt.

              “Why are you doing this?” I whispered.

              Tom stalked to my side of the bed and grasped my chin roughly in his harsh grip. I looked him square in the face, taking in the empty, hollow depths of his once sparkling eyes. There was nothing there. No remorse. No sorrow. Nothing but darkness and I realized in that moment this man was
not
my father. My father had been kind and gentle. He’d been firm, but I’d never doubted his love for me. Maybe I was just a stupid, dumb kid back then who thought unconditional love was a prerequisite for becoming a parent. The harsh reality was that this man, this poor excuse for a human being, had no love for me at all. What he had was pure hatred and total indifference. In all fairness I felt the same for him, but he didn’t care. After all the years I’d dreamed of being reunited with my father; of hearing him say that he was sorry… I knew that day would never come.

              So this was my fate. I’d let Billy go and now I was going to die. I wasn’t sure why Tom wanted me dead. Was it retaliation, or just that he had so much evil in him? Did he get off on murder? I wasn’t sure if he even
knew
I was his daughter, but I don’t think it would have mattered. This man was a monster.

              Chills snaked up my spine, prickling my ears and my scalp. Tom took my hand in his and leaned in closer. “We’re gonna walk outta here. If anyone asks, you’re gonna to tell them I’m your father, and we’re going down to the cafeteria to get a bite to eat. One wrong move and it’s over,” he stressed with contempt as he pushed a gun into my ribcage.

              “Where are you taking me?” I cried. “If you’re gonna shoot me, just do it now!” The last words came out with a hiss just before Tom’s hand connected with my cheekbone.

              “Don’t you sass me, you spoiled brat!” Tom spit through his teeth, hitting me in the face with his saliva.

              I shook with fear as he grabbed me harder and pain radiated through my elbow. He jerked me towards the door and gave me another stern look. “I mean it,” he warned. “Not a peep, or you’re dead and so is your
sweetheart
,” he cajoled, in a mocking voice.

              I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t stop myself from being a bitch. I was gonna die either way so why make it easy for him. “You’re gonna kill us both, anyhow,” I surmised. “So why not just do it?”

              “Cause we’re gonna have us a little talk first,” he grinned, wickedly.

              I stared at him in disbelief. What the hell could we possibly have to discuss? He must have read my mind when he answered, “Surely you have questions about why I’ve done what I’ve done. Thought I’d at least give you a little closure.”

             
Oh, daddy dearest sure had a way with words, huh?
My stomach churned as vomit threatened its way up my throat. I shook my head, brushing all thoughts aside that if I left with him it was over for sure. Weren’t you always supposed to stay put and not let your attacker lead you away? Yeah, I thought so, but the gun digging in my side was rather persuasive.

              Tom opened the door and peered into the hallway. I clenched my eyes shut, waiting for Billy or Caleb to come barreling down the hall and end his miserable life, but that didn’t happen. They were nowhere to be seen.
Dammit!
Didn’t Billy just say he wasn’t leaving me again?

              “Keep. Your. Mouth. Shut!” Tom bit out once again.
Shit! Did he think I was stupid?

              I shuffled down the hallway, purposely making it difficult for him to pull me along. When he realized what I was doing, he jerked me to his side, reminding my quickly to behave. He darted for the elevators with me reluctantly in tow and jabbed the button. I prayed we’d have to wait, that surely
someone
would notice I was under duress, but luck wasn’t on my side. The elevator dinged immediately, signaling it was already on our floor and the doors opened quickly. He pushed the button for the lobby and we began our descent. I prayed with all my might that some of my friends would still be there, but I wasn’t holding my breath. How foolish of me to have sent them all away!

              The cool night air pebbled my skin. My lungs still hurt, but they were some better and I relished the brief serenity of fresh air. My eyes were swollen from unshed tears and my face stung from where Tom had hit me. Refusing to let him see my fear, I stood up straight and cocked my shoulders back. I was his
daughter
after all. Shouldn’t I have some defiance in me?

              “No funny business. We’re gonna walk casually to my car and you’re gonna get in without incident,” he whispered.

              The parking lot was almost pitch-black, lit only by a few flickering halogens. Tom hadn’t given me any shoes and the asphalt scraped the soles of my bare feet; tiny pebbles embedding in my skin. It reminded me of the time I’d cut my foot and Billy so tenderly took care of me. I longed for that feeling of security, but knew I’d never experience it again.

              Tom led me over to a dilapidated Ford Taurus and I chuckled in disbelief.
This
was his car? So this is all he got after giving up his family for the dream job?
This piece of shit!
Oh, the irony was too much and my laughter took over once again, causing his anger to escalate to epic proportions. He slammed my body into the side of the clunker and the door handle hit my bony hips, the metal unforgiving, and it caused me to whimper.

              “Trap shut!” he yelled. He sighed with relief when no one confronted him on his abuse, almost like he’d expected someone to.

              He placed his hand on the top of my head and shoved me into the car. Leaning over me, I saw a glint of something shiny and silver, and then I heard a click of something being placed over my wrist. “Don’t want you escaping, now do we?” he said with a smirk of authority.

              He’d secured the handcuff around my right wrist, and the other end to the door handle. The cold steel bit into my flesh, and the more I wiggled the worse it hurt. Deciding this was one battle I wasn’t going to win, I sat still and concentrated on my breathing. It took a lot of effort as my lungs were still far from clear. Focusing my eyes away from him, I stared out the windshield, waiting for him to just get this over with.

              Tom jogged around the front of the car and slid in the driver’s seat. The car cranked without the least bit of challenge. “Where are you taking me?” I muttered.

              “Oh, no,” he laughed. “What would be the fun in telling you? No, I think I’ll let you stew and simmer a bit. Kinda builds the suspense, don’t you think?” The gleam in his eyes told me he was more than a few crayons short of a full box. He was truly demented.

              I turned away and gazed into the darkness, my thoughts immediately turning to Billy. Why had I been so argumentative with him? Why hadn’t I just listened to him? If I hadn’t opened the door, I wouldn’t have been poisoned. If I’d stayed in the hospital and waited on Lauren to return, his house wouldn’t have been burned down and I might not be in this situation now. My mind flashed through the events of the past month; all the time that I’d spent getting to know Lauren, and Sam, and everyone else. I’d been blessed with true friends for the first time in my life. I’d had my one true love, and even though it pained me to think of never seeing him again, I didn’t regret the time we’d had together. Billy was everything, and I loved him beyond measure and reason.

              The car swerved as Tom took the roads a bit too fast. I had no clue where we were going, but the night seemed to get darker and darker the further away we got. There were no stars tonight: no full moon to light the sky. Clouds were moving in and thunder sounded in the distance. I hated the dark anyway, but that coupled with the probability that a bad storm was brewing made me shiver with apprehension.

              “Almost there, doll,” Tom spat. It was the first words he’d said since we pulled away into the night, but they weren’t lost on me.
Doll
. That’s what he used to call me when I was a little girl and that cinched it. He did know I was his
daughter
, but he still intended to kill me.

              The tires bounced and the car creaked as he took a sharp turn onto a gravel road. Trees surrounded us on all sides, obscuring visibility of any possible residences, or business. Where in the hell were we? Granted I didn’t know the area at all, but I was pretty sure we had traveled away from town.

              The car skidded to a halt, slinging me forward and almost into the floorboard. My forehead hit the dash, and I winced in pain. Tom was already out of the car and jerking open my door, which I was still handcuffed to. He took a tiny key from his pocket and released the lock with ease. I made it to my feet and quickly cried out. Large rocks with jagged edges dug into my feet and realizing there was no way I was going to be able to walk on them, Tom slung me over his shoulder in a flash, stomping off like I was nothing more than a sack of potatoes.
Did he suddenly grow a heart?

             
I took advantage of being across his shoulder and looked around. I was trying to pinpoint something; a landmark of some kind that I could use to describe this place to the authorities if I made it out alive. It was doubtful, but Billy had taught me well.
Always be aware of your surroundings. What seems like nothing could be very important, angel.
I remembered his words like it was yesterday.

              To my left I noticed a cinder-block shed that was small in size, but looked fairly new. It looked to be white, or grey, but I was exactly sure. It was too dark to tell. To my right was a few old cars, or more precisely hunks of rusted metal. I suppose in their day they could’ve been show cars, but they’d been neglected and were no longer of use. I knew the feeling well.

              I no longer heard the loud crunching of gravel beneath Tom’s feet and suddenly I was air born before roughly landing on my ass in a lush patch of grass.
Ouch!
“Think you can walk now. Not much farther,” he urged.

              Tom grabbed the open handcuff dangling from my wrist and secured it around his. There was no way I could drag him along and he knew it. I huffed in frustration as he hauled me back to my feet and began walking.

              “How much further?” I whined.

              Tom didn’t say a word, but his expression was enough. I needed to shut up.

              After what seemed like a good mile, we approached an old farm house that had seen better days. The white wooden boards were losing their paint and hanging from the side of the house, and the shutters were scattered about the porch. Tom kicked them aside with his foot when we approached, clearing a path to the front door that was boarded up. He pried the slats lose, yanking my arm with his in the process. Blood trickled from an open wound and red welts replaced my once milky-white flesh. I bit my lip, refusing to let him know that with each push and pull he was inflicting more pain. I knew he didn’t care anyway.