Back To Me (25 page)

33

Heather

              I lost count after the sixth blood test. Every hour on the hour it seemed like someone was coming at me with a needle. I was pale and my skin felt clammy, but I had no idea why. No one was telling me anything.

              Billy still hadn’t been in to see me and I wondered if he was even here. Maybe he was so mad that he’d left. Or perhaps he was already on his way back to California to deal with Raul, though I seriously doubted he was responsible for me being in the hospital. I couldn’t get my mind off that stupid teddy bear and the fact that no one knew about it; no one except me and my parents.

              I heard a light tapping on the door. I whispered for whoever to come in, but my voice was so faint there was no way for them to hear. After a few seconds, the door opened a little. It was Lauren.

              “How you feeling, sweetie?”

              “I’ve been better,” I tried to joke.

              “Well, we’ll just have to see if we can get you back to normal then, won’t we?” Lauren gave me a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. There was obviously something she was keeping from me.

              “Where’s Billy?” I asked.

              Lauren looked away and fiddled with her purse strap. She was avoiding my question so the answer couldn’t be good.

              “He’ll be here in a little while,” she finally answered. Her eyes were still diverted everywhere except my direction.

              “Is he mad?”

              “You could say that,” she shrugged. “Don’t worry, Heather. Everything will turn out alright. You have to remember that, okay?”

              I gave a half-hearted nod. I knew exactly what was going to happen.
I’d lost him.
I’d lost Billy because I couldn’t do the one damn thing he asked of me. How could he trust me?

              “I mean it,” Lauren stressed. “No matter what, you have to trust me. Everything will be fine.”

              “Okay,” I murmured. I knew any moment Billy was going to walk through that door and crush every hope I ever had, and rightfully so.

              “Did they say what happened to me? No one is telling me anything? Did the doctor talk to Billy?” I kept rattling off one question after another; barely giving her a chance to respond.

              “No, Dr. Carmichael talked to me. Billy and Luke had stepped outside.” Lauren picked at her chipped nail polish to stall.

              “Just tell me,” I insisted. “At this point, it can’t be any worse than my imagination.”

              “Oh, it can,” she replied with a disgruntled laugh. “You were poisoned, Heather.”

              “Poisoned?” I questioned in disbelief. “Who…..”

              “Whoever sent you that gift,” she said, sarcastically. “It was laced with something, but the doctor doesn’t know what.”

              I felt sick. It was twenty years ago, all over again. My father walking away. Letting me down. Me lying there; broken and shattered because I wasn’t good enough. He hated me, for whatever reason, and it wasn’t long before my mother hated me, too. She hated me so much that she killed herself, and I was the cause of it all.

              I began to sweat and break out in cold chills. Within minutes, alarms were going off and nurses were rushing in the room, shooing Lauren out of the way.

              “Calm down, sweetheart,” Sheila, the nurse from earlier, spoke reassuringly. “You’re okay. Just a spike in your blood pressure.”

              “Just take a few deep breaths,” Lauren coached from across the room.

              “What upset her so badly?” Sheila directed to Lauren.

              “I don’t know. I told her what Dr. Carmichael said, and then this happened.”

              “Was I really poisoned?”

              “It looks that way, sweetheart. We’re still waiting on labs.” Sheila continued writing in my chart before ordering me to open up. “These are just a mild sedative. It’ll help calm you so you can rest.”

              I did as she directed, barely washing them down with water. My tongue still felt thick and my throat swollen.

              “I’ll be back in a little while to check on you.” She positioned the blankets and my pillow, making sure I was comfortable before exiting the room.

              Lauren was still on the other side of the room, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

              “I’m going to go find Billy. I’ll be back in a little while, okay?”

              I nodded my head. “I’m not going anywhere.”

              With that she left, and I was once again alone. Guess I might as well get used to it. It seemed like I was bad news for anyone.
I was tainted
. I was bad luck, and people around me always got hurt. It was best for everyone if I just left and never looked back. I’m sure that’s what Billy preferred anyway. For me just to leave and never,
ever
come back.

              I drifted in and out of sleep for the next hour, with still no sign of Billy. Lauren hadn’t come back either, and I wondered if she had left, too. Not that I’d blame her. She had a husband and daughter to be concerned about; not a random loser like me. I glanced at the clock on the wall to see that it was a little after midnight.

              I tossed and turned, frightened of being alone. I’m not sure why, but it hadn’t really bothered me until right this minute. It was dark. Very dark, with only the glow of my machines and a dim light over the doorway to light the room. I suddenly felt like the scared little girl I’d been when my father left. I scooted down further in the bed, pulling the covers up to my neck. It was smothering, but I decided sweating was a small price to pay to feel a little safer.

              There was the sound of footsteps in the hallway, abruptly halting right outside my door. I held my breath and waited, praying whoever had poisoned me wasn’t here to finish the job. The door handle jiggled and then turned, and I squeezed my eyes shut in fear. If I couldn’t see them, then surely they couldn’t see me.

              “Angel,” his voice boomed, almost unrecognizable with an undertone of loathing.

              “Billy!” I said, gleefully. “You’re here! I thought you left me; that you didn’t…..”

              He held his hand up, silently ordering me to shut up.

              “I’m glad you’re gonna be okay, but I’m not here for pleasantries, angel. You disobeyed me, and I can’t handle that. You swore to me, and you lied. I can’t trust anything you say, or do.”

              Billy was extremely curt, something he’d never been with me. It was like he was interrogating a suspect; a low-life whom he had no respect for at all.

              “You
can
trust me!” I pleaded.

              Billy let out a chuckle. “No. I don’t think I can. You keep proving that over and over.”

              “What are you talking about?”

              “Let me put it to you in a way you’ll understand,” he lashed out. Billy paced the floor, growing more agitated with each lap.

              “You’ll be fine. You’ll recover from this and you’ll move on. It’ll be up to you to find a place to live, just like I had to. It’ll be up to you to pick up the pieces and go on, just like I did.”

              “What are you saying?” I interjected. “You’re saying we’re done because I answered the damn door? Because someone tried to poison me, you’re just walking away?”

              I was hysterical; on the verge of a full-blown panic attack. He was leaving me and for what?!

              “Heather,” Billy tried explaining, but nothing he could say was going to make this okay.

              “I can’t help you anymore. I got called away on a pretty big assignment and I gotta go. I don’t have a choice.”

              “You don’t have a
choice
?” I screamed in disbelief.

              “No.”

              “What the hell are you talking about?”

              “Just what I said, and I don’t owe you anything,” he reminded me with warning. “I came and got you. I took you away from Raul, who is your main threat. Since I won’t be at my house, you can stay there until you’re back on your feet. Just make sure you’re gone by the time I get back.”

              He was so cold; so callous, showing no affection for me whatsoever.

              “How long will that be?” I questioned.

              “A month, maybe two,” he shrugged. “I’ll keep in contact with Luke. He’ll let you know.”

              “Oh.” I hung my head and picked at the tape holding the needle in my arm in place.

              “Any questions?” he asked, sharply.

              “Yes. Why are you doing this? Is it for revenge? So that I understand the pain you felt when I left you?”

              Billy chuckled and then turned to face me. His emerald green eyes bore into my dull, brown ones. “Paybacks a bitch, isn’t it?”

              I began to sob. Violently. My whole body shook with rigid, gut-wrenching emotions that I couldn’t possibly contain. I desperately wanted to believe it was all a joke; that he would hold me and apologize, but that never happened. I heard the door open and then close, and I knew he was gone. Billy had just walked out on me, the same way I’d walked out on him.
Like I never even existed.

34

Billy

              Luke met me at the end of the hallway where I collapsed like a tenth grade girl who’d been dumped at prom. I’d just killed what little chance Heather and I had at a future. I’d broken her spirit and her heart; the two things I loved most about her. True, I’d done it to protect her, and there was no turning back now. I had to see this through, or my performance would be all for nothing.

              “It’s alright, man. We’ll make sure she’s okay. You don’t have to worry about that. You just take care of what you need to do,” Luke insisted.

              Lauren was right there alongside us, rubbing circles on my back. I don’t know what I’d do without the two of them. I thought about how much I’d pushed them away, and yet here they were. Two of the best friends anyone could ask for.

              “You be safe, Billy,” Lauren sniffled. “You come home and we’ll work all this out. I’ll make sure Heather knows how much you love her.”

              “What if she never forgives me?” I wailed.

              “If she loves you, she will. She’ll understand that you did it to protect her.” Lauren gave me a stern look. “Never underestimate the love a woman has for her man. That’ll get her through. And if I know Heather, and I really think I’m beginning to, there’s nothing that will keep her from you. Not even this, Billy.”

              “I hope you’re right.”

              “C’mon, I’ll drive you home,” Luke said.

              The plan was for Lauren to stay with Heather just in case anything happened. Luke would come back for her later and then they would both be there for Heather when she was discharged.

              “Love you, Billy,” Lauren hollered from behind me.

              I stopped in my tracks and turned to face her. “Love you, too. Keep her safe for me.”

              Lauren gave me a salute and Luke grinned. I knew I could trust the two of them.

              On the way down in the elevator, my phone rang. I answered as usual. “Willis.”

              I heard a garbled voice and a lot of static on the line, but not much else.

              “Hang on!” I shouted. I repeatedly pushed the button for the elevator door to open. After a few seconds it did.

              “Who is this?” I questioned.

              “Billy, it’s Caleb. I got everything to George. Met him at the usual place. He said for you to hang tight until you hear from him.” 

              “Bullshit. I’m not waiting for anything!” I cautioned. “I’m going now, Caleb!”

              “Wait!” he yelled. “Blake said for you to call him at exactly one-thirty.”

              I looked at my watch, noticing it was now one thirty-seven. “Got it.”

              “Don’t do anything stupid, man. You know we’ve all got your back in this, but you’re not part of the agency anymore. Anything you do on the outside is illegal, and you know that. What good are you going to be to her if you’re in jail?”

              “You know, huh?”

              “Billy, I was your deputy for a few years. We’re good friends. And yes, George filled me in. Just do things the right way, man.”

              “Yeah, yeah,” I said, merely to appease him. Everyone that knew me knew I didn’t wait for our judicial system to work. Sometimes getting your own justice was the only way.

              “That just went in one ear and out the other, didn’t it?” asked Caleb.

              “Pretty much,” I jested.

              He let out a sigh. “Okay then, how ‘bout this? Don’t get caught.”