Babylon Confidential: A Memoir of Love, Sex, and Addiction (17 page)

As the alien-possessed stripper Brenda Lee Van Buren in
The Hidden
, 1987

With Shari Shattuck on the set of the 1990 bomb
Mad About You

With Gary when we first met on the set of
The Heat
, 1988

My wedding, 1988, Lana Clarkson on the right, Donnelly Rhodes in the background

With Jaclyn Smith and Patricia Kalember on the set of
Kaleidoscope
, 1990

With my big love, Rod Dyer, 1992

Hexed
, Texas, 1993. I played a crazy model whose billboard gets defaced at the end of the movie.

THE RIGHT HAND OF VENGEANCE

It’s January 19, 1994, and a massive aftershock from the Northridge earthquake hits. Everyone on the set starts screaming and running out of the studio, and I’m left on my own, strapped into the cockpit of a Star Fury combat fighter, helpless to escape. I’m locked into a Michelin Man spacesuit, and the helmet I’m wearing is all fogged up, so I have to keep pressing this button in my hand to operate the fan. The plastic visor clears up for a few seconds. I wait. It’s hot inside the suit, and the sound of the fan is getting on my nerves. Soon the aftershocks will subside, and then I’m going to give them a piece of my mind. They’re going to see firsthand just how much Claudia and Lt. Commander Susan Ivanova have in common.

Babylon 5
was something new to television—a science fiction novel in episodes. It wasn’t a space Western like
Star Trek
. There were no cute kids or robots. Joe Straczynski set out to write a novel for television, an adult-oriented series. The result was a richly textured story fueled by politics, diplomacy, philosophy, religion, history, and science.

A five-mile-long diplomatic space station in a distant galaxy,
Babylon 5
had become “the last, best hope for peace” between intergalactic species. The characters schemed, clashed, struggled with their demons, betrayed one another and themselves, and sometimes fell in love. Conflicts weren’t neatly resolved at the end of every episode. They were allowed to fester and build to a crescendo.

In the midst of it all, running the station and its crew as a well-oiled machine, was Lieutenant Commander Susan Ivanova.

A good cast and crew have a lot in common with a well-run space station. When you work on an established show like
Dallas
or
Columbo
everything runs smoothly, but
Babylon 5
was a new show being shot in an old warehouse in Sun Valley. It was Warner Brothers’ first stab at sci-fi TV, and I couldn’t help but wonder if they’d hidden the show away far from their Hollywood studio lot, just in case it turned out to be a massive embarrassment.

Babylonian Productions was a rabbit warren of corridors and offices. There were auditions taking place at the front of the building and actors walking around in alien prosthetics and Earth Force uniforms. Guys from the prop department would walk past carrying body armor and plasma rifles. John Copeland, the producer, would work as budget enforcer, railroad fob watch in hand, ensuring that the directors didn’t run into overtime. In the office closest to the sets, keyboard eternally clacking away, was Joe Straczynski, the show’s creator, executive producer, and lead writer.

I went in on my first day not knowing what to expect. I knew that I was replacing Tamlyn Tomita (
The Karate Kid Part II
,
The Joy Luck Club
). They’d decided she was too short and didn’t have enough of a commanding presence to act beside the two male leads. The rest of the cast and crew, with the exception of Richard Biggs (Dr. Stephen Franklin), had already shot the pilot, so I was the new kid on the block. Michael O’Hare, the male lead, was all too happy to remind me of this. He wasn’t what you would call a generous actor. When we’d enter the set together, he would intentionally broaden his shoulders to try to dominate the shot. The problem was that the
Babylon 5
doors would pull away from the bottom and up into the side of a plywood set, meaning that I’d catch the last part of it with my shoulder and make the whole wall shake. After several takes, I’d eventually have to follow a few inches behind him to avoid a clash, which I guess was his plan all along.

I think the role of male lead went to his head just a little. He propositioned some of the female cast members and was officious with the crew. In between takes he would unashamedly shuffle his junk, moving it around with his hand through the fabric of his uniform. When he caught me looking at him in disbelief he explained, “I have an average-sized penis but enormous testicles.”

Great, thanks for sharing.

I ran into some familiar faces on set: Jeff Conaway (Security Officer Zack Allen), with whom I’d starred in
Berrenger’s
and
Tale of Two Sisters
, and John Flinn, the director of photography, with whom I’d worked on
Jake and the Fatman
. I had a crush on John back then, but knew he was married, so I didn’t make a move.

I hit it off right away with Jerry Doyle, who played Security Chief Michael Garibaldi. Jerry could do great Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd impersonations, which was especially funny since his character was also a Looney Tunes fan. We were always razzing each other, especially over the sci-fi technobabble, which doesn’t easily roll off the tongue. Our dialogue was peppered with phrases like “Bolozian freighters, Minbari war cruisers, and tachyon emissions.” The long speeches with tech-talk could be challenging but they also provided great fodder for the blooper reels.