BABY DADDY (17 page)

“I don’t like this part.”

“Why?”

“Your first kiss. Was it good?”

“Yes, it was. Marcel was a great kisser.”

“Okay, can we go to the asshole’s episode now? You seem to have fond memories of Marcel. I don’t wanna hear any more about his great kisses.”

“I’m the story-teller here, not you. You listen.”

I sigh dramatically. “This is torture.”

She laughs. I’m glad she’s laughing. I don’t want her to revisit her past like she’s going back to hell. I just want her to look at it from afar, like she’s just passing by.

“I thought we had something special going, you know. I thought he liked me, too. But I found out he was actually in love with Sophie.”

“Fuck!”

“Hush, don’t swear.”

“In love with your sister? I’m going to kill that insensitive bastard, too! Why did he kiss you if he didn’t care about you? He led you on.”

“I didn’t want to think of it that way. I still don’t. I chose to believe he truly tried to love me but was just more attracted to Sophie and I couldn’t compete with a ramp model.”

“It wasn’t why he loved, Sophie.”

“Yeah? So why didn’t he love me?”

I sigh. I can’t believe that this woman who commands my dick at every turn is so damn unaware of her natural allure. “He saw something else in your sister, but I’m sure it wasn’t because you were overweight.”

“You really believe that?”

“Yeah, because if I met you then, you know what would have happened. Babies. Lots of babies.”

She squeezes my leg. “I lost some weight in my late teens but I was still close to 200 pounds, Raiden.”

“You’re probably no different today.”

“You’re really determined to make me feel like a goddess, aren’t you?”

“You’re a goddess in my eyes. Don’t argue with my Rubenesque taste anymore. I think I’ve proven it to you many times already.”

“Quite.
But Marcel…Well, I was thankful he was at least gentleman enough not to take advantage of my naivete. I didn’t want a lover who would just mercy-fuck me.”

I spank her arm lightly.

“Okay, that’s too melodramatic, sorry.”

“You’re too hard on yourself, Ella.”

“Old habits die hard, I guess. And it’s only you who gets to hear me talk about myself like that.”

“I don’t know if I should feel honored. I sure am not happy hearing them.”

“You should feel honored. I’m a different person outside this island. But
anyways, to forget my unrequited first love— God, I can’t believe I’m blabbering lines that normally gives me diarrhea— I poured my heart into my designing. I joined competitions. There were many in France for upcoming designers. I won one competition and that was the start of my career. It gave me the confidence to apply for a job in a fashion house. In the succeeding years, I worked under several houses as a sewer, pattern-maker, beader. I watched and learned. After four years, I became one of Juancho Milano’s several senior designers at the House of Dior. That really kicked it off for me. Juancho is the man, you know. My life has been fucked up most of the time but I consider Juancho one of the best things that ever happened to me. He believed in me, so fiercely that I couldn’t fathom it sometimes, even to this day. He let me do a summer collection for Dior at the Paris Fashion Week. That officially launched StellaR, my own label. Juancho bankrolled my brand under his own company and it became a hit worldwide.”

“Did you have a crush on Juancho, too?”

“Gay crush yeah. He’s one of my idols, along with you mother, silly, only he’s my mentor and my biggest fan, too. I’d never think I’m worthy enough, but all I have for him is endless gratitude. You don’t know Juancho Milano?”

“I think I’ve heard of him, but…no. Sorry.”

“He’s one of the most celebrated
haute couture
designers Paris has ever known. Juancho and I parted ways as business partners but it was amicable. We’re still good friends. He still has a small stake in my company. At his advise, I transferred my base in New York and the rest was history. I was a multi-millionaire when I was 27. That was when I met Aiden.”

“The asshole times ten.”

“Yup. That’s him.”

“I’ll have you know that since it took you longer to get to his part, I’ve already plotted several ways to make him vanish without a trace.”

“Don’t bother with that son of a bitch. He’s an irredeemable loser.”

“Glad you’re no longer in love with him.”

“But he ruined me for other men, and not in a good way.”

“Then I don’t wanna hear this.”

“But I wanna tell you. Please? The whole of New York talked about this a lot a decade ago. It was a fucking circus, but they haven’t heard me talk about it in depth in any interview.”

I tip her head back and kiss her forehead, feeling her need to unload. The way she put it tugs at my heart. I feel honored now. “Alright, baby.”

“Aiden was a supermodel in those days. He had all the biggest brands under his belt.”

“Never heard of him.”

“Of course, you were too young or too busy hammering on rocks to be bothered by men’s clothing trends.”

“You can say that, yeah.”

“So, I was looking for a model to do my print and TV ads for my perfume line. I thought he was perfect for StellaR Scents. We met, we shot the ads and we started dating.”

“Smooth bastard.”

“No, it was me who asked him out.”

“I see. Typical of you. You picked me up at the bar. I didn’t stand a chance.”

She snickers. “Aiden and I dated for six months or so.”

“But you didn’t sleep with him,” I point out smugly. That’s the only comfort I can get from listening to her tell me about her past loves. None of them has touched her as intimately as I have.

“I wanted to. We were going to. I was so in love with him. And I thought he loved me, too.”

I’m glad she’s facing away from me. I don’t think I can hide my resentment when she says she was in love with that bastard. “So, what happened?”

“He proposed to me. I accepted.”

“But…?”

“But my lawyer talked to him and presented him with a prenup. I had roughly 125-million dollars at that time”

“I see.”

“That didn’t sit well with him.”

“Of course, it wouldn’t, the fuck.”

“But he tried to make me change my mind. I was going to change my mind. I didn’t wanna lose him.” She laughs and shakes her head at this recollection. “I was such a desperate twit. So blind and gullible and starving for affection. I was willing to risk my hard-earned money so he would marry me.”

It’s harder to listen to this than I first thought, because now, I can really feel her pain from the rigidity of her back pressing to my front.

“I told my lawyer to just forget the prenup. He warned me I was making a big mistake, but I didn’t listen. Our wedding was set. It was going to be grand. For some reason I didn’t understand at first, he refused to have sex with me. He told me he respected me and would wait for our honeymoon. I believed him. I mean, what woman won’t appreciate a man like that?”

“I would have been suspicious. What man can resist touching you? I would have been unable to keep my hands to myself.”

“Well, he did. So, we got married. It was attended by important people in the fashion industry and covered by several magazines and even featured on TV. We were about to fly to the French Riviera for our honeymoon when one of my good friends called me on the phone.”

“This is the big buzzkiller, right?” I try to lighten it up again but it doesn’t work this time.

“There’s a scandal headlining all the internet gossip blogs. They’re talking about a video featuring my brand new husband. The video went viral as it was released the day of my wedding, too. It’s been uploaded in several hosting sites on the internet.”

“Aw shit…”

“The video was taken during his stag party. He was drunk out of his mind or I don’t know, maybe high on something too and was caught on camera screwing several strippers and angrily shouting my name while he was doing so.”

My fingers tighten around hers. “Oh baby…”

“I’ve watched it so many times I’ve memorized every line. Do you know what he was shouting?”

Her nails are digging hard on my forearm, almost cutting my skin. “I don’t wanna know.”

“He was cussing and laughing at me. He was saying…
Is this what you’re so hot for, Stella Rhodes, you fat bitch? My big dick? Poor Stella, still a fucking virgin until now because no one wanted to fuck you and I’m supposed to be the unlucky bastard to pop it on our wedding night? Fuck, like is that supposed to thrill me?!

Her pain is deep. Deeper than I first thought. “Ella, stop…”

“
My balls are shriveling just thinking about it! But you’re gonna get it, alright. I’m finally going to give it to you and mercy-fuck you, you poor bitch. You’re gonna get it in all your virgin holes. If not for your fucking millions, I won’t touch you with my 1-foot pole, you pathetic bitch!
And then he came inside that woman.”

I hug her tight, my chest constricting painfully. I’ve thought of some level of despicable behavior, but this goes beyond inhumane.

“Ella…Oh baby…” My throat has clogged and my eyes are wet. I can’t believe she’s telling me this so vividly and not crying.

“I was gossip fodder for months. Years. I wanted to die. I felt like my entire soul has been laid bare for everyone to see and they saw my ugliness. They saw the pathetic, worthless creature living inside me, camouflaged by my success, but pathetic just the same.”

“Listen to me. You’re not ugly and you’re not pathetic. You’re beautiful, baby. He was just an evil bastard!” I snarl, shaking from inside out.

But she’s lost in her own pain. Pain so deep it has numbed her. I wish she would cry in my arms. I would hold her forever. But she’s just speaking in monotone now.

“I immediately filed for divorce, but he wasn’t cooperative. He hired a lawyer and went for my money. Despite the glaring evidence of his reprehensible behavior which he justified with his inebriated state when the video was shot, and due to the fact that the video was taken without his permission and therefore inadmissible as evidence in court, the law was on his side. Since I scratched the prenup and I didn’t want the proceedings to drag, I agreed on a settlement, just to end it quick. He walked away with a quarter of my hard work.”

God, I’m going to kill the motherfucker!

“That video made me puke several times but I watched it over and over, you know, to remind me to never entrust my heart to any man again. No. To anybody. Ever.”

There’s a finality in her voice that says all doors to her heart are tightly shut, even for me. Especially for me.

It’s cutting me deeply and she doesn’t even know it. But I don’t let her go. I only hug her tighter, trying to absorb her pain, so it will thaw and loosen around her heart and set her free.

“So you see, Raiden, I can’t easily forgive. Even if I want to.”

“I understand, Ella. I understand.”

We sat there in utter silence.

“Let’s go to bed, baby,” I whisper in her ear when the water became cold.

She nods. We rise up from the tub and step out of it. I guide her inside the shower and wash her body gently with warm water. I’m very careful in touching her. I know she feels raw from her emotional revelation. I feel brittle, too, her pain radiating through me, but I don’t show it. She needs me. She needs my strength.

I wash myself as well and then I dry our bodies with a towel.

I comb her hair, massaging her scalp in the process.

“Why are you so nice to me?” she asks me as she sits in front of the vanity mirror while I work on her hair.

“Because you deserve some break from all that shit.”

“You’ve been swearing a lot tonight.”

I ignore her chiding remark. “Because you’re beautiful and you need to be reminded of that.”

She smiles at me in the mirror, her eyes, so sad I really want to locate that bastard and skin him alive.

I scoop her up in my arms and walk around the room a few times to make her feel she’s got me to lean on.

Then I bring her to bed. I lie behind her, my arms around her, spooning her. “You know why I’m good to you, Ella?”

“Because you find me weird, a complement to your weirdness.”

“That, too and something else.”

“What?”

“Because I’m falling in love with you.”

She doesn’t answer.

“And it’s perfectly alright if you don’t say anything back, baby. I just wanted to tell you. I know you find it hard to believe me now but I will spend the next days of my life showing you.”

Silence.

I can feel her tenseness, as if she’s holding her breath.

Then she exhales and melts into my embrace.

I lie awake listening to her even breathing.