Azure (Drowning In You) (9 page)

“Can not say.” He placed a finger over his lips. “Promise.”

“You promised to whom?

“To Kai.”

Dammit. “Fine, don’t tell me. But then,
you
make him laugh. Don’t expect me to even try.”

Shit, she was acting like a petulant kid, but a tiny pin-prick of fear hit her chest. Who was Kai, really? She shouldn’t leave the hotel with strangers.

And yet... And yet...

She fled to her room where she proceeded to pace a furrow into the carpet. This was all wrong. She’d set out to make a new beginning, to have fun, and now she felt like crying because she’d bared her heart to this handsome stranger and he’d tossed it out the window.

She shouldn’t care. Didn’t know him. Should have learned her lessons long ago.

Kirsten and Markus were up reading when she knocked on their door. Kirsten seemed to sense something was off and asked if she was okay.

“The non-rebound guy isn’t so nice after all,” was all Olivia said and refused to talk more about it. For dinner, they snacked on fruit Kirsten had bought at the small convenience store next to the hotel and talked about the next day.

Markus, as it turned out, was feeling just fine now, and they could go on an excursion. They joked about buying him a Mexican sombrero and making him wear cool packs under his clothes, then he pretended to be on fire and submitted to a tickling attack led by Kirsten.

Once order had been restored, they settled on meeting in the morning to decide where to go.

The night was warm. Her room felt too big and empty. Talking about Justin and all the mess didn’t make her feel better; she felt worse. She thought about calling him, hashing it out.

Only they’d done that already.

It was as if she’d lanced an infected wound but hadn’t drained it completely. The infection remained and it hurt.

She didn’t want to talk to Kirsten about
Andria
, either. Didn’t want to talk to anyone. She just wanted the pain to go away. She wanted forgiveness and peace.

Her mattress was too soft, and she tossed and turned, feeling as if she was sinking in it, through it, down to a dark void. A big moon shone outside, over the sea. She didn’t want to read more of the novel with its stunning and powerful heroine. Instead, she picked up Markus’s guide to
Crete
, a much thicker and detailed one than her own, which she’d nicked when he hadn’t been looking. She checked the map of the area, locating the small cove of her hotel, Nautilus bay, and traced the coastline to the east.

Navagio
Beach
. The text said it meant
‘wreck’
and that it actually had three small wrecks on the beach. Fishing boats, thrown out by the storms. The bay was said to have tricky waters with rocky reefs and rip currents. After a more recent boat accident, the superstitious locals avoided it.

A picture of the bay took her breath away. It was narrow with white rock cliffs around, the wrecks looking like alien shadows on the beach, and the water was the purest azure. It wasn’t far; she could walk there. Just to have a look. Surely that wasn’t dangerous.

What accident had scared the locals so much they’d started avoiding the bay and telling tourists not to go? She’d grill Panos until he told her — or the blond barman. She’d seen a sign for
wi-fi
in the hotel. If there was a computer, she could
google
it, find the local newspapers. A pity her mobile phone didn’t have internet.

She put the book down and stared up, at the slowly spinning fan on the ceiling.
Project shift.
Since Kai was acting up, she’d investigate the accident of
Wreck
Beach
, instead.

Though all information would probably be in Greek.

Dammit
.

She closed her eyes, but sleep still eluded her. Behind her lids played images — the jasmine flowers, the small coffee cup, Kai’s dark eyes.
 

Unable to take it any longer, she hopped into the shower to wash the sweat away. Wrapped in a towel, hair dripping, she stared out into the night. She needed to get out, stretch her legs.

Pulling on a short dress and her sandals, she hurried down. The reception was deserted, so she took the key with her. Shoving it into her purse, slipping the strap across her chest, she came out the revolving doors and walked down the path to the beach. A cooler breeze blew here, carrying the salty tang of the deep. She took off her sandals as she reached the beach and slung them in one hand, relishing the coarseness of the sand between her toes.

The moon painted a path of silver on the murky sea and the stars shone bright. Wavelets whispered and filigrees of white surf decorated the water’s edge. She walked toward it, her dress fluttering against her legs.

Someone sat on a deck chair, a black figure cut against the moonlit sky. A man. She knew those broad shoulders, the wild dark hair, the intense gaze.

Oh crap
.

“Hey,” she said, and it came out sort of harsh.

Kai flinched and shot to his feet. “
Liv
.”

“What are you doing here?” She glanced behind. The bar was closed.

“I couldn’t sleep. Too warm.”

“Yeah, me too.”

He’d gotten rid of his t-shirt and only wore his long slacks. The moon silvered the ridges and planes of his muscled chest and arms, lent a bluish cast to his hair.

 
“
Liv
, I’m sorry. I wasn’t very nice to you.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Shit. I always fuck up with people.”

He seemed so contrite her anger began to fade.

“I’ll forgive you,” she said and sat down. “If you tell me why.”

He sat down, too, on the other end of the deck chair. “Why what?”

“Why my pendant scared you.”

“It didn’t.” He sighed. “I thought it was something... else.”

“What then?”

“Damn,
Liv
.” His voice shook and he kept his face averted. “I’m sorry. You were sad and I upset you more, but can’t you ask me something else?”

So odd.
She wanted to ask him a million things but right now her mind was blank. She also wanted to comfort him but wasn’t sure how because she had no clue what was going on. “Where do you live?”

He turned toward her, lifting a brow, then he pointed over her shoulder. “There.”

There?
She’d meant whether he lived on
Crete
or if he was here for the summer, but she turned to look. “What’s there?”

“A hut.” He shrugged. “I don’t like closed spaces.”

“You’re claustrophobic?”

“I guess.”

Oh
. “How bad?”

He snorted. “Define bad.”

She squinted at the direction he’d indicated. The pale moonlight picked out cliffs and a few scattered sheds behind the hotel. “I can’t see your hut.”

“It’s too dark.” He moved slightly closer. “Will you be around tomorrow?”

“I’m going on a hike with my friends,” she said and suddenly regretted it.

He said nothing for a moment. “That’s nice,” he whispered.

“You could come with us.” She smiled at him in the dark.

“I work tomorrow,” he said quietly.

“You don’t get a day off?”

“Yeah, the day after.” He stared at her sideways. “We could take the pickup, go to a nicer place, if you like. You wanted to see the area.”

Suddenly nervous, she licked her lips. “Will there be more people there?”

“Do you think I’d hurt you?” He rose to his feet, his breathing coming faster, and started walking toward the cliffs. “Forget it.”

“Wait.” She scrambled after him, caught his arm. “Please, don’t run off again.”

His breath hitched. “You’re so warm,” he whispered.

She frowned, stepped in front of him and caught his hands. They were like ice. “And you’re cold.”

“I’m often cold.” Again so quiet. He was looking right at her, through her. Then something changed. His gaze moved down her throat to her body, and the night turned hot and sultry.

Focus,
Liv
.
“How long have you been sitting out here?”

He blinked. “Don’t know.”

“Come up to the hotel. I’ll warm you up.”

“Oh god, don’t say such things.” He swallowed hard and stepped closer, until their hands were trapped between them, crushed against his muscled stomach. She was pressed against his chest, his lips inches from hers. She longed to kiss them, feel their softness, taste his salty skin.

He pulled back, withdrawing his hands. He was breathing hard, the sound loud in the quiet.

“Kai...”

He reached up, touched her pendant and shook his head. “I’ll see you around.” Turning, he jogged up the beach, leaving her feverish with desire and damn confused.

Nothing can come of nothing.

Shakespeare

Resonance governs the spheres; it brings us together and drives us apart.

Myra
Crow

The hike over the forested hills and among leafy orchards was amazing, the Byzantine chapel with its frescoes unexpected, and the picnic they had in the shade of an ancient olive tree delicious. A perfect day, despite her friends’ teasing regarding the relation between olives and her name, and about how she was the least olive-like creature they knew.

“A noodle,” Markus decided.

“Excuse me?” Olivia stifled laughter.

“You’re a blond noodle.”

“A noodle. A hairy noodle. How flattering. Is that a line from your favorite poet?”

“No, this is all me. You’re long and white and blond.”

“You sure know how to make a girl feel pretty.” She stuck her tongue out at him and inside she vowed to get a golden tan before leaving
Crete
. “What about Kirsten?”

He turned to his girlfriend, his gaze heating. “She’s a ravioli.”

“Imbecile,” Kirsten muttered, her lips twitching. “A ravioli? That’s all you can compare me to?”

“A ravioli stuffed with a piece of heaven,” Markus elaborated, taking the tone of an orator in a Roman forum, brows drawn and voice booming. He waved his hand at his audience. “Bathed in rich, sweet sauce that makes the mouth water, a ravioli, finally, which is firm and robust, its dough soft and pleasant to the palate.”

Kirsten tackled him to the ground and tickled him until he begged for mercy.

“Robust.” She sat back and wiped her blond bangs off her face. “Really.
Mistkerl
.”

Olivia rolled her eyes at their theatrics, laughing along. Kirsten was anything but a ravioli. She was tall, strong, beautiful, clever. First in her class, speaking five languages, excellent in so many sports Olivia had lost count, and a great cook.

Then again, all Germans she’d met seemed to excel in everything they did. It left her feeling like a dork. She couldn’t cook to save her life and god, she wished she had Kirsten’s body.

Fighting a sigh, she settled back on the grass and looked up into the branches of the olive tree. The leaves shimmered green and silver, trembling to a slight breeze.

Normally she would’ve had a blast. The place was beautiful, with a brook gurgling nearby and birds singing in the trees. There were no deadlines and no schedules. She was free to roam and eat and tease.

But all she could see was Kai’s face and dark eyes, his lips, the tension in his strong body and the speed with which he’d fled into the night. He’d been about to kiss her, she thought.
Possibly.
Why had he left in a hurry?

This was getting ridiculous. No matter how pretty, he was a moody guy, a guy she barely knew. And yet, she couldn’t eat, couldn’t breathe without thinking about him, without wondering what made him tick, what his past was like and why Panos thought he needed cheering up.

Why she felt he needed more than that. That he needed help. It was as if he was in a deep well and nobody could reach down that far to haul him out.

She bit her lip.
And you’re going to manage where others failed?
Maybe she imagined the pain in Kai’s eyes because she hadn’t noticed what went on with
Andria
until it was too late. A spectacular failure. The price unbearable.
 

‘You’re so blind to anyone but yourself,’
Justin had shouted at her and his words returned with a vengeance, a punch to the chest.

He was right.

“
Alles
okay?
” Markus asked, waving a hand in front of her face. “You look miles away.”

“I’m fine.” Man, she was so grateful both her friends spoke such good English. They were studying English literature, of course, so it was to be expected, but still. Her German was pitiful. She’d been so desperate to put as much distance between her and home as possible she’d gladly have gone even to
China
, only German was the one foreign language she could claim to know.

“Hey.” Kirsten threw a rotten olive at her, forcing her to duck. “Where is your mind wandering?”

“You guys...” Olivia really hoped they wouldn’t be upset. “Would you mind terribly if I took a rain check for tomorrow?”

“Rain check?” Markus frowned.

“She means she doesn’t want to come with us tomorrow,” Kirsten translated in her usual blunt way.

Okay, so maybe Kirsten did have some flaws, after all.

“It’s not that I don’t want to come with you,” Olivia hurried to patch things up, glaring at her friend. “It’s just that... I may have other plans.”

Now she got their full attention.

“I don’t understand,” Markus said, pouting.

“A man.” Kirsten giggled. “The
non
-rebound guy. Right?”

Heat rose to Olivia’s cheeks. “He has the day off. Said he might take me in his truck to see some other beaches.”

“Beaches, right. More likely the capes and caves.” Kirsten winked.

 
“Kirsten...” Oh god, her cheeks burned so badly with embarrassment she was sure the skin would blister. “It’s not like that. Besides, I’ve just broken up with Justin. I’m not going to fall into another man’s bed so soon.”

Right. Right?

Kirsten sighed. “Just be careful, Noodles. You may not be ready, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t, and you don’t know him well.”

“Noodles?” Olivia glared at Kirsten. “You too, Brutus?”

“
Bruta
,” Olivia corrected, because she spoke Latin, too. Figured. “Feminine form.”

“Screw your feminine form.”

“Only I am allowed to screw her feminine form.” Markus fluttered his lashes at Kirsten.

“Seriously,
Liv
.” Kirsten held her gaze. “Be careful. He seems nice, but don’t go alone with him places, okay?”

He seems nice, but all that shines isn’t gold.
Kirsten had a point. “I’ll be careful. I’ve got my pepper spray and all.”

“Who is this guy?” Markus asked. “Do we know him?”

“He’s
Liv’s
new boy toy,” Kirsten announced, leaning back against the bark of the tree. “He exists to distract her from her worries during vacation time.”

“Provided by the travel agency?” Markus poked Kirsten in the ribs. “Did we pay extra for this service?”

“Why, do you have any problem with
my
service?” Kirsten mock-glared at him.

Vacation
. Olivia rubbed her face. Yeah, she couldn’t forget that this was vacation and get carried away. She was here for two weeks only and then she wouldn’t see Kai again. Best would be to guard her heart.

Besides, a guy who never laughed, who was spat upon by old women and had a sliver of pain in his eyes — a guy like Kai — probably didn’t need her heaping her troubles on him, either.

“God, the sky is so blue here,” Kirsten whispered.

“The sky too blue, the sun too hot, the food too greasy,” Markus said. “Dark shades against the golden light.”

Yeah, everything was so intense, every color, smell, sensation. Every emotion vibrant and crystal clear. It was as if life elsewhere was a reflection through a dusty glass, and this was the real deal.

***

Her dreams that night were filled with blue — the sea, the sky, a void in which she kept tumbling, down a wormhole into space. Then it was darkness shot through with lightning — eyes looking down at her, taking her in, the whole of her, mistakes and faults, and not judging, just... wanting.

She woke up shivering and went to close the balcony door. Dawn was breaking, painting the sea in pink and red.

She would see Kai today.

The thought was enough to keep her awake until her alarm went off at seven. She took forever to choose her clothes. Swimsuit, most definitely. He’d said something about going to a beach, right? Maybe shorts. Or a skirt? Sandals. Or hiking shoes? Were they going to walk on the cliffs?

Dammit
.

She looked at her face in the bathroom mirror, and it was flushed, her eyes shining. She patted her hot cheeks. Tilting her head to the side, she reached for her pendant, then leaned closer to the glass. Blue stains marked the smooth white stone. Like fingerprints. What the hell? She looked down at it.