Awaken (Divine Hunter Series) (17 page)

“So what did you dream about?” she asked innocently.

He gulped a mouthful of cocoa and it went down the wrong way, causing him to momentarily cough his borrowed lungs up. He held his cup out trying not to spill the contents.

After he’d composed himself he thought of something quickly. “I don’t really remember.” It was all he could think of and oh, how he wished it were true.

“Happens to me all the time.” Lacy smiled. She looked down into her hot chocolate and he watched her face straighten. “I was worried sick about you earlier. I thought something bad had happened.”

He felt that pang of guilt,
again, which unsettled him. He never thought that she’d go to the station, figured she’d wait here for him to return, and he would’ve called earlier if he’d known she’d be worried. He was so used to just getting on with things, and not having to think about anyone else, that he hadn’t realized. He was uncomfortable with having to think of someone else’s feelings all of a sudden.

“I’m sorry. I should have called sooner−”

“I know,” she interrupted, “just hear me out for a second. When I was pacing the floor waiting for you to get in touch, my mind was thinking all sorts of things. I panicked when I’d convinced myself that something bad had happened and there was a possibility I would never see you again.” She dropped her gaze and picked at her thumbnail. “I’ve been lying awake for the past hour trying to make sense of it all. I mean, we haven’t known each other all that long, but it seems I. . . What I’m trying to say is”−she let out a sharp sigh and her shoulders slumped−“I care for you, Michael.”

Oh
, hell.

All the air left his lungs and he couldn’t seem to think of a single word to say−stunned, for the first time ever. This woman in front of him had been in his life for only a little over a week and yet she’d somehow captivated him. He knew he was developing feelings for her and had tried so hard to deny
them, but it seemed to have only made them stronger. What was he going to do?
Nothing!
You can’t
let anything happen and you know it.
His inner voice seemed to have the right idea.
It wouldn’t be fair on her.

When he
realized he’d been staring at her for far too long without saying a word, he tried to muster something. “Lacy, I. . . ” What could he say to her that wouldn’t hurt her feelings?

She reached out and took his cup from him, placing both onto the tray on the floor. She slowly leaned towards him and his heart rate increase
d, his own feelings playing tug of war as he stared into her hypnotic pale green eyes. She was so close he could feel her warm breath on his face and he almost weakened until something snapped him back to reality, reminding him of the hurt he would cause her when he eventually had to leave, which he would, without question. He wasn’t human, would never be, so being with her wasn’t an option.

He pulled back, his breath hissing between his teeth as he forced himself to ignore a potent instinct which would allow no room for rational thought.

“Lacy, we can’t do this,” he said, even though every part of him wanted to.

She dropped her gaze. “I’m sorry. I thought you felt the same way.”

That feeling of guilt was hitting him a lot harder now. In fact, it had swapped its softball racket for a wrecking ball. “I can’t deny that I have feelings for you, Lacy. And you can’t begin to understand how hard it is for me to not kiss you right now.”

“Then why?”

His reply was hesitant. “There are things you don’t know about me.” Things she could never know.

Damn. The way she was looking at hi
m now made him nauseous. Hurt, fear, confusion, it was all clear to see on her face.

“What things?” she pressed.

Shit. He was sinking deeper into the hole that had appeared below him and it worried him that, without being honest with her, he wouldn’t get out of it. “Things I can’t tell you, but I assure you, you don’t have to worry. I haven’t done anything bad. Believe me, if there was any way I could tell you I would. You do know that, don’t you?

He could no longer read her expression. She stared at the floor, her eyes blank behind those heavy eyelashes. He longed to know what she was thinking. Had he hurt her? It wasn’t his intention but perhaps it would be for the best; better for her to be wary of him−to not trust him.

The silence seemed to last forever. Then Lacy damn near floored him.

“I do believe you.”

It was her kind and trusting nature that had attracted him to her in the first place. Her willingness to care for a complete stranger such as Nina and the fact that she was accepting what was happening around her without question, trusting Michael to see her through it and make sure that everything was okay. Believing him now, after he’d meant to put doubt in her mind, was just a testament to her true nature. How was he going to stay away from her when every second he was with her, she pulled him in deeper?

“I’m glad because I would never intentionally keep anything from you unless it was to protect you.” He placed his hand on her cheek and turned her face to him. “I would never hurt you, Lacy.”

“I know you wouldn’t, not only because of what you’ve told me, but because I can just feel it,” she replied, and he could see that there was nothing but sincerity in her words. She’d never looked as attractive to him as she did at that moment. He was doomed.

“Michael, can I ask a favor?” She picked at her
fingernails again. A habit, he’d noticed.

“Sure, anything.”

She hesitated, biting her bottom lip. “Can I lie next to you? I don’t want to be alone right now.”

Anything but that!
Jesus!

He stared into her eyes and saw a sadness behind them that he could relate to. He knew he shouldn’t, that it was dangerous territory, but he felt the same way. After all this time of being alone, he suddenly didn’t want to be either.

He held the blanket back for her and she climbed in next to him, lying down with her back to him, which was good. He only had a certain amount of control left and knew how thin the line was that he was walking right now. He kept his arms awkwardly by his sides, even though the temptation to put one around her and pull her into him was so strong. He tried not to breathe the sweet apple scent of her freshly washed hair in too deeply and ignored the heat of her body−which was way too close to his−as best he could.

If he could get through the rest of the night without touching her
, he would take his ass out for a celebratory drink the minute there was a bar open. Who knew he would have this much control over himself?

“Good
night, Michael.”

He knew he should reply but honestly didn’t know if he could speak. “Good
night.” he managed to say as he squeezed his eyes shut. This was one time he
needed
to sleep.

* * *

L
acy let out a contented sigh as she woke to a warm sensation at the back of her neck. As her eyes flickered open she realized soft lips were caressing her skin. As consciousness gripped her, she froze, making sure what was happening was real and that she wasn’t in some crazy realistic dream.

She wasn’t.
Michael.

She felt his
arm tighten around her waist, pulling her closer into his warm body as his lips travelled around her neck, softly caressing her as they slowly moved up to the flesh behind her ear. Her heart began to pound and when Michael gently sucked her earlobe, her eyes closed and she couldn’t help the gentle moan that escaped her. Her breath caught and somehow she managed to whisper, “Michael?” as he continued to kiss her.

He didn
’t answer her.

My God
.
Is this really happening?

Her mind went foggy as the feel of his warm breath upon her skin sent a glorious shiver down
the length of her body. She lay silent, afraid that if she moved she might wake up and realize that this was nothing but a dream.

His arm
moved upwards and he placed his hand on her cheek, gently pulling her face towards him and kissing her softly along her jaw until his lips found hers. She closed her eyes, shifted her body around to face him as he continued to kiss her. His kiss grew more intense and just as she reached up and tangled her fingers in his hair, he whispered her name against her lips. Then. . .

Michael paused
. His whole body had gone rigid.

He
pulled his head back suddenly and she caught his horrified expression in the glow from the lamp. “Shit! Lacy, I’m so sorry.” he said as he quickly sat up, nearly knocking her to the floor.

She followed him, swinging her legs off the sofa and sitting up beside him. She lowered her
head, letting her hair fall around her face to hide her embarrassment. How could she be so stupid? Of course he was still sleeping. She should have realized when he hadn’t answered her, but it had been a little hard to think straight.

The few moments that neither one of them spoke was almost unbearable.

Michael let out a sigh as he dragged his hand through his hair. “I didn’t know what I was doing.” His voice was almost a whisper and, swallowing her shame, Lacy found the courage to turn and face him. “I was dreaming. I’m. . . I’m so sorry.”

She had to do something to make it right. As ashamed and embarrassed as she was
, she had a feeling he felt worse. “Hey, listen. . . It’s okay.” When she was sure her cheeks had cooled down, she tilted her neck so he had no choice but to look at her. When their eyes met, she smiled and saw the tension ease a little from his shoulders. She nodded. “Really. . .”

He shook his head, leaning into his hand. “I feel like such an ass.”

“Well, please don’t. No harm done, I promise.” She reached for the TV control not wanting to risk any more of that awkward silence. “Why don’t we just watch some cheesy late night movie and forget about it?” She turned the power on and began to flick through the channels. “Besides. . . ” She gave him a sideways glance, “I quite enjoyed it.” Her face heated up and she couldn’t believe what she’d just said. Then she looked up and caught the surprise on his face. They both laughed.

“Perhaps I should. . . ”−he pointed
with his thumb−“. . . the chair?” He left the sofa and after settling on some eighties sci-fi b-movie, Lacy lay back down.

They were both silent.

* * *

M
ichael didn’t really dream anymore. For the past year his slumber had only been filled with vivid images of his time in the pit. Jumbled nightmares filling the spaces between consciousness and anxiety were what usually woke him up with a start.

But
again, not this time.

Only two times he’d dreamed
properly since he’d died. Gone were the crimson skies and the blood and the slicing. Instead, for the second time in what must have only been a few hours, all he’d seen was Lacy. But the second time had seemed even more real than the first.

It was as though his mind had hit record on their whole conversation prior to him falling asleep, then replayed it to him in his sleep using an alternate ending, the one he’d really wanted to play out when Lacy had nearly kissed him.

Shit, it had felt good.

He watched as she slept on the sofa across from him. The movie had finished so he’d turned the TV off and could now hear the gentle sounds of the birds singing outside as they awoke to the coming dawn. He hadn’t bothered trying to get back to sleep, not wanting to risk any more dreams, however pleasant they had felt. Hell, he’d stop sleeping altogether if that’s what was needed.

This wasn’t meant to be happening.

He promised himself that this was the last time he’d stay with her.

T
he smell of fried bacon filled Lacy’s nose as she awoke from a deep sleep, but the minute she opened her eyes she panicked.

Where the hell am I?

The living room.
Her
living room. Panic over.

As her brain came back on line she remembered why she was lying on the sofa. She’d slept with Michael. . . Well, not
with
him, but next to him. Her sleepy eyes scanned the room, but there was no sign of him.

She closed her eyes and fought to rid her mind of Michael’s horrified expression as he’d pulled away from her during the night.

And. . .
Oh, God.
What if she’d kept him awake after that because she’d been snoring or something? Never mind the shameful kissing and fondling moment, this could be far worse. She hadn’t slept in a man’s company for a long time. He probably couldn’t take anymore and escaped before she’d woken up. Or what if she’d frightened him with her sleep talking? She knew she still did it now and again. She’d woken herself up with it. She couldn’t take anymore humiliation.

The door from the kitchen opened slowly and in walked Michael, freshly showered by the looks of it and fully dressed. He was holding a tray. He smiled at her.
He looks so handsome when he smiles like that.
Her stomach groaned.

“You’re awake?” he said with a gleam in his eye that made her melt inside a little. “I thought I’d fix some breakfast before I left.”

She sat up and he passed her the tray which had a plate of bacon and eggs and a steaming hot cup of coffee on it.

She decided then and there that she could quite easily marry him. “Thanks,” she managed to say past the warm glow in her chest. For God’s sake, she was acting like a school girl with a silly crush.

Michael grabbed his coat from the chair and put it on. Soon after, a car horn sounded outside. “That’ll be Evo. He wants me to take him to the Lake.” He rolled his eyes. “He’s such a tourist.” The edges of his smile pulled down, turning his expression more serious. “Will you stay at home today?”

“What about Nina?” She’d planned to take some things
up to the hospital for her, realizing when she was last there that the poor girl didn’t even have any toiletries, or extra nightwear. It wasn’t like anyone else visited her apart from Lacy and the hospital staff. She’d been in that standard issue gown since her operation and Lacy thought it was about time she changed into something more comfortable. Besides, she felt guilty as hell when she didn’t visit, even if Nina didn’t know her. Lacy believed that when she spoke, Nina could hear her and it would be better for her to hear a familiar voice when she did come around.

“Just until I come back, then we’ll go to see Nina together. I’d feel happier knowing that you’re here.”

She understood. If Jake was still about then it
was
safer to wait. “Okay, I’ll stay.” She placed the tray on the sofa and followed him to the door. He stopped before opening it and turned to face her.

He surprised her when he leaned in and kissed her softly on her cheek. Her breath caught.

“Call me if anything happens, okay?”

All she could do was nod her head, then he opened the door and left.

Lacy finally released her breath. She placed her hand on her cheek and re-played in her mind what had just happened. That kiss, even though it had only been on her cheek, not her mouth like the others, it had almost stopped her heart. It hadn’t been a polite see-you-later kind of peck on the cheek; his warm lips had lingered for a second, like it was more an acknowledgement of their feelings for each other.

She was so confused
. Why had her feelings for him developed so quickly? She was never the type to fall for someone so easily, always cautious whenever she was dating someone, so why was this happening? It was strange to feel this way about someone so soon.

Last night when she
’d laid in bed thinking about how concerned she’d been over Michael, she’d realized it wasn’t just a crush like when she’d fancied Karl James back in high school. And it was certainly nothing like what she’d felt for Simon when she’d stupidly accepted his proposal before finding out about the cheating. She knew she never really loved him, just felt flattered that a man like him would want to spend the rest of his life with her. She’d learnt a very big lesson there.

No. this felt
very different, like there was a strange connection between them. Michael felt too familiar to her; given the short time they’d known each other. She’d spent over an hour in her room trying to convince herself to go and talk to him, but had chickened out, deciding it could wait till morning. That was until she’d gone to the bathroom and heard his voice. Knowing he was awake, she couldn’t go back to bed without talking to him first. It was a vice of hers: When something was on her mind it had to come out, no matter what.

She
’d sensed that he felt something for her though−especially after what had happened, or nearly happened, in Nina’s hospital room−but when he’d admitted earlier that he had feelings for her too, her heart had sung with delight only to clamp its mouth shut a few seconds later when he’d told her that they couldn’t do anything about it.

So he had secrets, didn
’t we all?

He
’d nearly let her kiss him. He’d hesitated before pulling away. And the way he’d kissed her in his sleep, even though he was just dreaming, it was obvious he desired her too. So what could be so bad he had to deny her? Perhaps it was also because he was only working in Oakland temporarily. Did he have someone to go back to? Her stomach sank at the thought of him belonging to someone else.

She could still feel his lips on her skin as if h
e’d left them with her. Then she allowed herself to think about their brief encounter again. She’d wanted him to kiss her so badly and couldn’t believe that she’d awoken to him doing just that. She played the moment over and over in her mind and her body began to heat.
No!
That’s enough
, she told herself. She wouldn’t allow herself to fall any harder until she knew what he was keeping from her.

After
receiving a very pleasing phone call from the hospital informing her that Nina had woken up during the night and was doing well, Lacy had showered, dressed and was feeling a lot more positive about her day. The nurse had told her that Nina had even spoken and was aware of where she was; all positive signs that led towards the hope that she had no brain damage. She’d told Lacy that Nina was resting and would be having some tests this afternoon, so it would be best for Lacy to visit in the evening. Great! She’d go with Michael after dinner.

She was just stuffing
some dirty laundry in the machine when her doorbell rang. Michael had only been gone a little over an hour, so she didn’t expect it to be him. Besides, he never rang the bell.

It was still early. She glanced at the clock on the sideboard as she passed it on th
e way to the front door−eight-thirty, unusual for someone to call round so early, especially on a Sunday. Then she remembered: Teresa. She’d said she’d call in on her way home from her shift.

Lacy peered through the small, round window in the door and sure enough, Teresa stood on t
he other side of it blowing a cloud of warm breath onto her hands and rubbing them together. She quickly opened the door and greeted her with a smile. The cold air hit her straight away.

“Hi, come on in.” After closing the door be
hind her Teresa followed her into the living room and Lacy gestured for her to sit down. “Coffee? Some pillows? You look about ready to drop.” She had dark circles under her eyes and her shoulders were slumped.

Teresa pinched the skin at the top of her nose. “Busy night. I’ll be glad when I’m in my bed. And yes, just some coffee would be great
, thanks. I think I can hold off the pillows for a little while longer.”

Two cups of coffee later and Lacy had finished giving Teresa her statement about what happened with Jake. Teresa had said that she found it hard to believe Jake would act so aggressively. Lacy had been surprised herself, even though she didn’t really know him, she’d seen him on campus and he was usually pretty quiet; walked around with his hood up mostly not seeming to interact with many of the other students. Her deputy friend explained that he’d been in trouble in the past for petty things like pinching a donation box from the pet store in town. And once she’d caught him spraying the words SMOKING KILLS. WEED HEALS on the back of a bus stop but she’d never heard of any violence, couldn’t even recall any fights he may have been involved in. She insisted that what happened with Nina, and then Lacy, was out of character.

Teresa closed her file and put her pen back in the inside pocket of her navy blue, duty jacket. “So you’ve no idea where Jake is?”

Lacy shook her head. “My colleague and his friend searched for him for a while after but no joy.”

As Teresa got up to leave, she passed Lacy a business card. “Could you ask your friend to call me if he hears anything?”

“Of course,” she said, taking the card and putting it on the table beside her. She walked Teresa to the door and after saying their goodbyes and promising to call each other to arrange meeting up for coffee, Lacy returned to her laundry in the kitchen. As she poured the detergent in the tray, she thought about what she’d do for the rest of the day. She had some assignments to
mark, but wasn’t in the mood, so they could wait until she got back from the hospital. She could clean the house, but that didn’t sound very appealing either.

Maybe she would do nothing but watch movies until Michael returned, or even read a book, but something tense, a
thriller, maybe, or a horror; definitely not a romance. Best not to feed that stupid fire she was determined to keep under control. Imagining Michael as the hero and herself as the love interest just wasn’t going to help the situation at all.

She was looking through a pile of books she’d recently bought
, over by the wooden bookshelf, when the doorbell rang again. Teresa had probably forgotten to ask her about something. She was normally sharp as a pin, but going by how tired she looked just now, it wouldn’t be a surprise.

“Did you forget something. . . Oh!” The person standing on the other side of the door surprised her. Not Teresa but her
neighbor.

“Mr Hinckley.” Damn. She’d promised to get him milk this morning. “I haven’t been to the store yet Mr Hinckley but if you still need some milk. . . ” Her words trailed off as he walked straight into her hall without saying a word. His gaze was hollow, like he was looking at her but wasn’t aware.

“Is everything okay? Mr Hinckley? You don’t look so−” She never got to finish her sentence because the old man’s arm flew up and he bashed her on the head with something heavy.

Darkness was all she knew after that.

* * *

“S
o, who is this woman again?” Michael asked Evo as they sped along Garrett Highway towards the airport.

He’d rec
eived a text from Evo earlier telling him he would pick him up at Lacy’s because he had some good news. He still wasn’t saying much; only that he’d been waiting on an important phone call and finally received it at four a.m while he was still outside the hospital. Now they were going to pick up some woman from the airport. Her flight was due in at ten forty-six.
She
, apparently, was a friend of a friend of Evo’s who owed him a big favor after he’d captured a creature that was responsible for the death of the guy’s son. That friend had agreed to talk to this woman and persuade her to meet with them. Something about her knowing who Varesh is.

But that was all Michael
knew. He could pretty much guarantee that because this person was female, that Evo had already been there, but if he had, his buddy was keeping quiet about that too.

“
I’ve told you once already. She’s agreed to meet us to talk about this Varesh guy. I don’t know what she knows about him, but anything’s gotta help right now, huh?” Evo said completely unaware of the speed limit as he raced down the highway.

“
How do you know she’s trustworthy?” She could be on this Varesh’s side. He hoped to God that wasn’t the case or else she could be leading him straight to them.

“
Oh, she’s trustworthy. We have a mutual enemy: demons. So trust me, she’s on our side.” Evo had a smug look on his face. He was feeling proud of himself for some reason but while he was being vague, he was irritating Michael.

It wasn
’t really Evo’s fault though. Michael had been antsy for two reasons since leaving Lacy’s place: one, he wasn’t happy about leaving her on her own, but Evo had insisted he go with him. And then there was the fact that he couldn’t get her out of his mind and it was irritating the hell out of him. He couldn’t stop thinking about last night. As he’d suspected, he hadn’t been able to trust himself at all while Lacy lay next to him: As soon as he knew she was sleeping, he’d been stupid enough to stroke his fingers down her arm, enjoying the softness of her skin. Then she’d sighed and backed herself closer into him and he’d placed his arm around her before going to sleep.