aterovis_bm_reapthewhirlwind.p65 (3 page)

“No. I wish I did but that’s a little out of reach right now. Especially with rent and tuition.”

“Too bad,” I said. I pulled myself away from the win-17

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dow and followed Aidan back to the living area.

The music had moved on to something a little softer and the mood seemed to be as mellow as the music.

Laura and Gabe were still sitting closely on the couch with plenty of room for another person, but Joey had perched himself on the arm of the recliner. The blonde was resting her hand rather possessively on his thigh.

“Hi, I’m Will,” I said pointedly since no one seemed to be planning on introducing us anytime soon.

“Nice to meet you, Will. I’m Shelley,” she said. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Joe here,” she added, giving his leg a little squeeze to punctuate her pronouncement.

I lifted one eyebrow and tried to make eye contact with Joey, but he seemed to have suddenly found the carpet pattern extremely fascinating.

“Joe seems to have been doing a lot more talking about me than to me, because I’m afraid I’ve never heard anything about you.”

For a moment, everyone froze and a very awkward silence followed. I forced a laugh, in an attempt to undo the damage, and everyone smiled uncertainly. Joey was still busy trying not to look at me.

“Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean that the way it came out. I’ve had a bad day.”

“It’s okay, I understand,” she said graciously. She had a rather pronounced southern drawl that I couldn’t quite place. I guess she was pretty if you liked the type: long white-blonde hair, big blue eyes, pouty lips and big boobs—she had the whole package. Personally, I thought Laura was much prettier. Her father is black and her mother is a full-blooded Cherokee. The results were quite stunning. Her flawless skin was the color of caramel and her large almond-shaped eyes were a dark 18

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chocolate brown. She had high cheekbones and her jet-black hair hung almost to her waist. She and Gabe made a striking couple. Gabe is Hispanic and quite handsome.

He was only a year older than Joey, Laura and I, but he seemed much more sophisticated. Maybe that was just because I hadn’t known him all his life, as I had Joey and Laura. I didn’t have any milk-shooting-from-the-nose memories about him. He seemed to be good for Laura; he complemented her in every way. He wore his straight black hair short and spiky and his dark good looks matched hers perfectly.

“So you had a bad day?” Laura asked after a brief but loaded pause. Leave it to Laura to pick up the one thing that I didn’t want to talk about.

I waved my hand dismissively. “I don’t want to talk about it. So, Shelley, do you go to school with Joey...er, Joe?”

I ignored the looks on everyone’s faces; the dirty look Laura shot me, the curious ones from Gabe and Aidan, and the uncomfortable expression on Joey’s face. I kept my focus carefully on Shelley’s pointy little face.

“Yes, we’re both in Professor Strauss’s American History class. That’s where we met on the first day of school.

He asked me out the next day and we’ve been going out ever since. But it’s only been two weeks, so I guess that’s why you haven’t heard of me,” she added quickly.

She cast Joey a look that clearly said, “Help me out here!”

but he was still engrossed in plush pile.

Well, that explained why Joey had been so busy the last two weeks. I was surprised how hurt I was.

“Yeah, you’re right,” I said with venom in my voice.

“Two weeks is not really long enough for a best friend to tell someone they have a new girlfriend.” I stood up 19

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and almost had to sit back down as my knees buckled.

“If you’ll excuse me, I think I need some fresh air.”

“Will!” Laura said sharply.

“I’m...I’m sorry. I’m going to...go take a walk...or something,” I mumbled haltingly as I stumbled toward the door. Tears were threatening to spill over before I could make my escape. I paused at the door long enough to say, “I’ve had a bad day, really.”

I found my way out of the building and wandered into the back yard. The wooden bulkhead edging the river made a great seat. I had just about gotten myself under control when I felt someone come up behind me.

I didn’t have to look up to know it was Laura.

“Okay, that was appalling. What the hell was that all about?”

“I’ve had a bad day,” I repeated softly.

“So you keep saying. Wanna tell me about it?”

“No.”

“How ’bout you do it anyway.” She sat down next to me and swung her long legs out over the water.

“Beth and I broke up today.”

“So? You’re always breaking up or getting back together. Call her tomorrow and tell her you’re sorry.”

“It’s not like that this time. She broke up with me.”

“Oh...oh my gosh.”

“Yeah, I got the feeling it was pretty permanent this time.”

“Will, I don’t know how to say this tactfully...”

I snorted. “Since when have you been tactful?”

“Point made. Okay then, have it your way. Why are you so beat up about Beth dumping you for a change?

You’ve dumped her enough times. You don’t like being on the receiving end?”

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“It’s not that. Actually, I don’t really care about Beth that much. She was comfortable, familiar...I mean we’ve been together for years...but...”

“A ‘but’ is never a good sign, sweetie, and there was always a ‘but’ with Beth.”

“Yeah.”

“So what’s really bothering you?”

“Something she said. She said that I always put you and her second.”

“How did I get into this?”

“She said that I always put Joey first. Do you feel that way too?” I looked over at Laura for the first time. She was looking out over the river, the reflected light played softly over her even features. For a moment she didn’t answer. When she began to talk, I had to lean in closer to catch what she was saying.

“You never knew this,” she said. “I never told anyone really, but I’ve had a huge crush on you for the longest time.”

I opened my mouth, but she shook her head before I could speak. “Let me finish. I used to get so hurt whenever I would call you to do something and the answer was always Joey and I are doing this or Joey and I are doing that. It was even worse when it was Joey and I might be doing this or that. I wasn’t even competition with a possibility. After awhile, I guess I just accepted the fact that Joey would always get top billing when it came to you, but I still wanted to be close to you, so I infiltrated your little club. We became the three musketeers and we lived platonically ever after. All for one, right? As long as Joey was ‘the one.’ I got over you eventually. Now I wouldn’t trade your friendship for anything. Gabe knows I exist. He treats me right and I love 21

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him. But to answer your question, yeah, I do feel as if I always came second to Joey.”

“Why...why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Like what? Hey, Will, I’m in love with you but you treat me like dirt? Hey, Will, why is Joey so great?

What’s wrong with me? Hey, Will, acknowledge that I exist, dammit? What was I supposed to say?” She swiped angrily at the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. I had only seen Laura cry a few times as long as I had known her. It unnerved me worse than anything she had said.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, “I’m so sorry, Laura.”

“It’s ancient history,” she said taking a deep breath.

“I moved on. Like I said, Gabe is the greatest. I really do love him. Maybe I’m not as over you as I thought, but I am moving on.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

“Did you know Joey and Shelley were dating?” I said at last.

Laura sighed. “He still comes first doesn’t he?”

“I didn’t...it’s just...”

“It’s okay. I should be used to it by now. Yeah, I knew.”

“Why didn’t he tell me?” I tried to keep the whine out of my voice, but I still came out sounding like a petulant five year old.

“Maybe because he knew this would happen.”

“What do you mean?”

“Will, every time Joey has ever had a girlfriend you’ve been jealous. You do nothing but pick them apart and criticize their every move. Maybe Joey wanted a little grace period with Shelley before you started in on her.”

“I’m not jealous,” I said defensively.

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“Oh please, then what was that whole scene up there?”

“I was just surprised. I mean, you saw the way she was all over him. ‘Joe has told me all about you,’” I mocked.

“See, there you go.”

I opened my mouth to argue but Laura hurried on,

“Look, Will, I have a very serious question I need to ask you. I want you to be honest with me. Please, I’ve never asked anything of you. And I don’t want you to answer until you can give me a 100 percent sure answer.”

“Of course, Laura,” I said indignantly, “You know I would never lie to you.”

“Not on purpose, maybe.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Never mind. Here’s my question,” she took a deep breath. “Are you in love with Joey? I mean romanti-cally—‘in love’ in love. Because if you are, you need to face it and deal with it and figure out what it means.

You can’t just keep on hurting everyone around you.

You know I’ll always love you no matter what.”

“Are you...are you asking if I’m gay?” I asked in amazement.

“Will?” We both turned toward the voice. It was Joey up by the parking lot. “Hey Will? Laura? Are you guys out here?”

“We’re down by the water,” Laura called back. She turned back to me, reached out, and touched my cheek for just the briefest moment. I almost didn’t feel it.

“Think about what I said, and remember I love you.”

She jumped up and ducked into the shadows as Joey approached.

“I, uh, didn’t interrupt anything did I?” he asked.

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“No, we were finished,” I said slowly.

“So, uh...what did you think of the apartment?”

“It was great—airy and light with a great sense of the original integrity of the building. Great color schemes and tastefully decorated. Everything a guy could want,”

I said sarcastically. “Why’d you come here, Joey? It wasn’t to talk about the apartment. Or are you that eager to foist me off on Aidan?”

“Will, it’s not like that and you know it. Shelley thought I should go see...”

“And when were you going to tell me about her? Was I going to be invited to the wedding?”

“We’ve only been dating two weeks! I was going to tell you tonight. I told you there was someone I wanted you to meet. Do you think I’d be that stupid as to invite you to a party she was going to be at if I wasn’t going to tell you about her? I would have told you sooner but…I guess I needed some time with her just to myself first.”

I looked out across the river. “We’re growing apart,”

I said softly. “Laura and Gabe, you and Shelley...me with nobody.”

“We’re not growing apart, we’re growing up. You’re my best friend, Will, and you’ll always be my best friend.

Nothing will ever change that. But we’re not fourteen anymore. We can’t spend all our lives together. We’re all going to have families and careers. It can’t be just the three of us forever.”

“I don’t want things to change.”

“Everything changes. If you don’t change, then you’re dead. Make the most of it. Now that Beth is out of the picture date new people. Try some new things. Get out there and live. You can start by moving in with Aidan.

He’s a great guy; you won’t find a better roommate. I 24

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think it would be good for you to be more independent.”

I sat for a few minutes thinking about everything that had happened today, especially what Joey had just said.

Finally, I stood up, dusted the dirt off my bottom, and started for the building.

“Where’re you going?” Joey asked, trotting to catch up.“To see if that roommate position has been filled.”

25

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I lay awake in my bed that night, staring at the ceiling lit only by moonlight. I’d been awake for hours watching the minutes tick by on my alarm clock, unable to sleep. My mind refused to turn off. So much had happened today—too much for my brain to absorb so quickly. My mind replayed snippets of conversation from the day over and over like a slide show on constant rotation.

Joey: “You should move out…”

Beth: “Joey always comes first…”

Shelley: “We’ve only been going out for two weeks…”

Laura: “Why wasn’t I ever good enough for you…”

Joey: “We’re growing up…things change…”

Things changed all right. I knew that logically everything changes, but I didn’t have to like it. And I especially didn’t like the way things were changing for me.

Didn’t I get any say in any of this?

There were two conversations that I wasn’t sure what to think of. The first was with Aidan when I asked if he still wanted me to be his roommate. In my mind at least that had become not so certain after my horrible behav-26

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ior, but he’d acted as if nothing had happened and had actually seemed pretty excited.

I knew my parents wouldn’t be at all excited when I told them. They tended to be a little over-protective. I was an only child and my father was a rather conservative pastor. Although I hardly ever saw him when I was growing up, his child rearing philosophies tended to be a bit old fashioned and Mom was more than capable of carrying them out to the letter of the law. I could just imagine their reaction when I told them; “You’re doing what? We don’t even know this young man! Does he do drugs?”

And the truth was I really didn’t know Aidan. But Joey had said he was a good guy and I instinctively liked him. I generally trusted my instincts. He was funny, nice and he had seemed genuinely happy that I was moving in. We were supposed to start moving some time later that week. Now all I had to do was figure out how to tell my parents.

The other thing that I was very uncertain about was Laura’s question down by the river and all that it implied. I’d been trying to avoid thinking about it all night, but my mind kept going back to it anyway. It was like having an ulcer in your mouth and even though it hurts, you just can’t keep your tongue away from it. No matter how I tried to distract myself I always ended up in the same place—was I in love with Joey?