Assumed Engagement (14 page)

"I never knew that about her. Tell me more about my mother."

"She was very kind and giving. As the reverend said today, she gave of herself. She was there for people." Darcy stroked his sister's hair as she sat spellbound by his words. "She was beautiful; she loved you and our father very much. When she died, I believe a part of Father died. He was never quite the same."

"Oh to have that kind of love in a marriage," Georgiana sighed softly.

"Hmmm. Yes." Darcy felt his heart stir, leaving him pensive for a moment. Finally he continued, "I know you were quite young when she died, but you were very special to her. I often regretted that you have not had her in your life, especially now as you are grown into such a lady. I know that she would be someone who would be able to give you such wisdom and guidance, unlike I ever could."

"William, you have been a wonderful brother. I could not ask for a better one."

"You are too kind."

Georgiana smiled.

The carriage approached Lambton and pulled down a narrow lane. Darcy could tell that the road was in need of repair as the carriage rocked from side to side as it traversed the myriad of ruts. He looked out the window at the row of houses that were situated very close together, with barely a small yard in the front.

The carriage pulled up in front of a small house with window boxes in the front that had been painted blue. There were flower bushes in them but no flowers were in bloom. As they removed themselves from the carriage, Darcy was assaulted by a loose dog. He abruptly shooed the dog away and wiped down his clothes. Georgiana laughed.

"This is where the Wilcox family lives. Jon and his wife live here along with his parents and a younger brother and sister. His father is a local blacksmith."

"And you say he is one of our under gardeners?"

"That is correct. He usually works the outskirts of the grounds."

They exited the carriage and walked up to a very small house. They knocked on the door and were ushered in by a young teenage boy. He called for his mother who quickly came to welcome them. She ushered them into the sitting room and sent the young boy off to find his brother, Jon.

As Darcy looked around, he felt confoundedly stifled by the closeness of the walls. He noticed a pungent odour that began to assail his nostrils. As they waited for Jon, Mr. Wilcox joined his wife, and a daughter came in. Jon and his wife entered last. There was barely room in the sitting room for all eight of them, and Darcy wondered why they did not go into a larger room, there were so many of them in this confined space. He could hear his sister saying something, but Darcy was not able to concentrate.

He recalled as a child coming to these small houses and not being able to remain inside for very long for the same reason. As a child he needed to get outside into the open air, and right now that was all he could think of. Suddenly he was aware that he was being addressed, and struggled to focus on what Mr. Wilcox was saying.

In a desperate measure to keep his composure, he slipped his hand into his pocket. He knew he could not pull out the handkerchief with
Elizabeth
's embroidered initials and flowers on it, so he rubbed his fingers around the handkerchief, and then released it, pulling out his hand. He brought it to his face and gently rubbed his jaw, letting the gardenia scent on his fingers reach his nostrils. As he breathed in the scent, he immediately felt calm and less anxious. He looked at Mr. Wilcox who just finished what he was saying.

"… and hope he is a good worker."

"Uh, yes, he is a very good worker." But Darcy did not recall ever having seen his son. 

He looked over at Georgiana who was so at ease with these people. She readily showed an interest in their lives. Darcy could only think about getting back outside. He knew his first visit was going to be considered a failure. He reasoned, however, that certain people had a gift for this kind of thing; Georgiana did, and he did not.

When they left, he thanked them for their hospitality and wished them God's blessings.

From there they walked across the road to the Franks. At least Darcy knew Robert Frank, as his trusted head stable hand. He had worked at
Pemberley
for about six years, and the two shared occasional conversation. The house looked a little larger than the
Wilcoxes
, so he hoped that he would not have the same reaction there.

They approached the door and knocked. A petite middle aged woman came to the door and greeted them. Georgiana introduced Mrs. Ellen Frank to her brother. She welcomed them in, apologizing for the simple accommodations and untidiness that the children had caused. She ushered them into the sitting area and politely offered Darcy and Georgiana a seat. Darcy was relieved that the rooms were larger and did not close in around him as the others had.

"My husband is outside in the back. If you will excuse me, I shall call him."

Darcy heard some children playing loudly out back, but noticed a small child sitting on the floor watching them timidly. She looked to be about four. Darcy thought he would venture over and try to talk with the child. He stood up from the chair and walked over, crouching down as he came to her. She quickly looked back down at the blocks with which she was playing.

"What have you got there, young lady?"

Just then Mrs. Frank walked back in. She noticed that Darcy was attempting to talk to their youngest daughter who was not paying him any heed. "I am sorry, Mr. Darcy, but our daughter, Eleanor, is deaf. She cannot hear you."

Darcy’s jaw dropped, not knowing what to say. He looked at Georgiana and then back at Mrs. Frank. "I am so sorry, Mrs. Frank, I did not realize."

"That is understandable, Mr. Darcy. Mr. Frank will be right in."

Mr. Frank entered presently and the two greeted each other warmly. Darcy was still reeling from his earlier blunder. Mrs. Frank carried in a tray of sweet breads and offered them to the pair. Georgiana thanked her and chose one for herself. Darcy declined, as his stomach was now churning. He did not think he would be able to eat a thing. He did, however, accept some tea, which helped soothe his agitated nerves.

The conversation in the household was confined mostly to Georgiana with Mrs. Frank, and Darcy with Mr. Frank. He talked to him about the things he wanted to do in the stables to improve things and Darcy agreed to think on it. His mind, however, kept going back to little Eleanor. He looked over at her and saw how content she was to play with her blocks.
Did she know she was different?
How did they communicate with her?
And most of all,
why did he not know about her?

When they finally left the house, Darcy was physically and emotionally drained. He climbed into the carriage after helping Georgiana in and put his head back against the seat. Georgiana felt it would not be wise to say anything at present. She was tempted to pull out her journal and begin writing, but she refrained. She knew how he must be feeling. He had been so uncomfortable, yet he had so wanted to prove himself to her. She was sure that he felt a failure.

When he finally lifted his head and met Georgiana's gaze, he asked her, "Why did I not know about the Frank's deaf daughter?" He had a pained look in his eyes.

She looked down. "I do not know. It is possible that at one time Mr. Frank informed you about her and you promptly forgot because it was not pertinent to you, or he may have assumed you would not be interested and so never bothered to tell you."

He looked at her with much anguish. "I suppose I have discovered today of what my real character is made. My pride and arrogance does raise its dragon head when I am in the company of those I feel are inferior to me."

She looked at him and smiled, shaking her head. "I am not convinced it is from pride and arrogance. At least not all of it."

He looked at her questioningly.

"I have seen you in situations with people from our own society." She paused to gather her words. "I have seen your disdain among those who exhibit their prosperity and position for the benefit of making themselves look good to others. I believe that is improper pride. I have never seen you put those things in the forefront to gain an unfair advantage over someone, or to even impress them."

"Then if it is not pride, what is it?"

"I believe our parents taught you the proper perspective of being a Darcy; what it means in terms of your responsibility to the name and the wealth it carries. But I also believe you were never given the chance, however Mother did try, to develop an understanding of people different than us, whether it was because of some perceived inferiority or something else. I think it may be largely due to a lack of knowledge about these people."

Darcy was taken aback at this, as he considered himself very well educated. Even since his college education he did extensive reading, but he must admit he never read a book on how to relate to people different than yourself.

She continued hesitantly, "I believe pride comes into play when you instantly put people into a class depending on how they look, how they are dressed, where they live. You tend to look too much at the externals, judging a person by what is on the outside, not by what is on the inside."

Darcy was not sure how much more he could hear from Georgiana. But he was convinced every word of it was true. "Go on."

"These people are just like us when it comes down to it. They have the same hopes and dreams as we do, the same fears, they fall in love, they experience heartbreak, illness, death. William, if you took away all that we had,
Pemberley
, our
London
home, our clothes, you would find we are the same as them. Granted they have not had the same privileges and upbringing in terms of education, manners, and behaviour, but we are basically all the same."

"And how did you come to learn such graciousness among these people?"

"Miss Annesley. We have made a point to go on visits almost every Sunday, whether we have been in
London
or
Pemberley
. She feels it is a very important part of any education."

"And obviously one that was neglected in mine."

"Not neglected completely, as you said mother took you on visits. Unfortunately, they ceased when she died." A smile lit Georgiana's face. "I think you have some room for improvement, my dear brother, but we have time. Next week we shall try again, and then in one month's time, if you have greatly improved, we shall move on to another challenge."

Darcy looked at her with some apprehension. "And what, pray tell, will that be?"

"Oh, no. I shall not tell you now. I do not want to have you worrying about it for a month." With that she contentedly turned away.

*~*~*

When they arrived home, Darcy went straight to his study. He closed the door and went to his desk, pulling out the chair and making himself comfortable. He was tired but there was something he knew he must do. He opened the large desk drawer and looked around for something.

"
Ahh
, here is one." He pulled out a financial ledger, one in which nothing had yet been written. He opened it to the first page, picked up a pen and dipped it in his inkwell. In large bold letters on the first page he wrote with his flawless penmanship, "The Journal of Fitzwilliam Richard Darcy."

He looked at it with a satisfied nod of his head. He then turned the page and smoothed it down with his hand. At the top of the page he wrote the date and returned the pen to the inkwell. He brought his hand to clasp his chin as he considered what next to write..

Picking up the pen again, he wrote the following:

 
Entry  1 ~  Matthew 8:1-3 Healing of the leper -Give of YOURSELF!

Entry 2 ~ The Franks - Robert, (head stable hand) wife, three children,     one deaf daughter 4 years old. Check on recent developments in working with deaf children.

Entry 3. The Wilcox family - Jon, under gardener, lives at home with wife and his family in small 2 bedroom house. What can I do to help?