Assumed Engagement (12 page)

"Oh, it is nothing."
Just like your handkerchief is nothing!

"Now, Georgiana, you will answer my question. What is that book you have been constantly carrying around with you?"

"Oh, this?" Georgiana picked up a plain, bound book. "This is my journal."

"A journal?" asked Darcy. "What are you doing with a journal? Is this something in which Miss Annesley is having you write?"

"No, Fitzwilliam. Miss Elizabeth suggested I begin writing in one."

She noticed that she had his full attention and went on. "She gave me the idea of writing down my thoughts and feelings; anything I come to learn about people or things. She said writing things down is good therapy and helps you remember things more. In so doing, I can draw from them later when I am in a position to converse with someone."

"Miss Elizabeth told you that, did she?" He tried to appear calm and indifferent, but knew the beating of his heart was making every attempt to betray him. "And what else did Miss Elizabeth say?" he asked.

She looked at him and wondered whether to broach this next subject with him. Finally, she said, "She also told me why she turned down your proposal."

Darcy squirmed in his chair. "She did? And what did she say?"

"She said that there was some sort of misunderstanding between the two of you, which she added, had since been cleared up. But she went on to say that your actions in trying to separate her sister and Mr. Bingley played a large part in her decision. Did you really do that?"

"Yes, and I have already admitted to Bingley that I was wrong. I also informed Miss Elizabeth that my actions were based on what I perceived to be at the time, very little regard for Bingley on Miss
Bennet’s
part…" He added in an undertone, "…however wrong it was."

"I cannot believe you would do such a thing!"

"What else did she say her reasons were?"

"That was all. Just the misunderstanding and your interference with her sister."

He looked at her, surprised. "She was being very kind, then."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because her main reason for refusing me was due to my arrogance!"

Georgiana looked at him in shock. "Your arrogance? I cannot believe it."

"Unfortunately, my arrogance was displayed not only for her, but for everyone in Hertfordshire while I was there. I found myself to be very uncomfortable with the neighbourhood, their ways, their manners. I found it easier to stand off to the side in silence than to befriend these people."

Georgiana listened to his confession with wide-eyed astonishment. "This sounds so unlike you, William."

He continued as if he had not heard Georgiana’s words; as if he had to finish his thought. "Then, my arrogance was made very evident to her in the address of my proposal. I am ashamed at what I said. I made certain she was acutely aware of how much of a struggle it was for me to come to terms with her inferior connections and station in life."

Georgiana sat aghast, her mouth opened in disbelief. "I scarce can believe it! You actually said that in a proposal of marriage?"

"Yes." Darcy looked at his sister and shook his head. "She has every reason to think ill of me."

"William, when you said you stood off in silence, did you feel reserved in her company of friends?"

"I suppose you might call it reserve, why?"

"Miss
Bennet
told me that a person may be reserved because of one of two reasons. She said there may be other reasons, but these are the most common. She opened to the front page of her book and read, "Either there is a fear of saying something wrong; a fear of being misunderstood or judged ill by something you say or do. To prevent that, you hold yourself back. The second reason is wishing not to impart yourself to others due to one’s own feelings of superiority, and having no inclination to converse with someone you feel beneath you. She rightly determined that I am reserved due to the first one."

With that she closed her book. "William, I believe your reserve comes from the latter. I think you must have actually thought yourself superior to those people in Hertfordshire. Did you?"

"I do not know how I felt! I was just uncomfortable. I do not have the ability to talk easily with strangers."

"You cannot or you will not?"

He looked at his younger sister and realized she perceived far too much of his true character. He began to feel uncomfortable with his sister’s insight and did not want to admit to himself that he was, indeed, proud and arrogant.

"The truth hurts, does it not?" Georgiana asked gently.

"You are telling me that all my life I have striven to be generous, giving, and considerate of others, but basically, I am a proud, arrogant fool!"

"No, William, not all the time, just in certain situations."

"And is that what
you
think?"

"I have not seen it for myself, as I usually see you only in situations in which you are comfortable. But upon hearing this, it does sound like it. William, do you want to do something about it?" she asked him. "Is there a reason that will make you want to change?"

"I think you know the answer to that, but I do not think it will help." Darcy said with a look of anguish in his eyes.

"Well there is no harm in trying. I have an idea that we will begin to work on tomorrow. Now, what was that you had in your hand?"

He looked at her as if he did not understand her question.

"That
nothing
that you were holding… Is it perchance Miss Elizabeth’s handkerchief?"

Darcy’s face gave away the truth. He had the look of a guilty man found out, as he drew out the handkerchief and showed it to Georgiana. There in the bottom corner were the initials
EB
. She took it from him and held it to her face. When she inhaled, she could smell the very strong scent of gardenia!

Chapter 9

     T
he first few days after Jane and Elizabeth returned to Longbourn, the
Bennet
household remained in a state of turmoil, being led in the forefront by their mother. She had begun, even before Mr. Bingley had arrived to secure consent, to make plans for her eldest daughter’s wedding.

From the time they had stepped inside after returning home, everyone at once prodded Jane for all the details. She was very gracious in answering them all, but
Elizabeth
could readily see she was becoming quite wearied from all the questions. Mrs.
Bennet
, it seemed, had no intention of letting the subject drop. As happy as Jane was to talk about Mr. Bingley, the proposal, and the upcoming wedding, there were other things she wanted to hear about from the family.

Mr.
Bennet
stood off to the side; appalled at the unrelenting commotion his wife created, but savouring the joy his daughter’s engagement wrought. He had been uneasy while his daughters had been at
Pemberley
, but now he could rest easy. It had turned out well, although he would never admit that to his wife.

As mayhem coursed throughout the house and continued the next day, Mr.
Bennet
took longer periods of refuge in his library. There was no calming his wife and he wondered how he would survive these next few months.

News spread throughout Hertfordshire of Mr. Bingley’s and Jane’s engagement and then of his impending return to
Netherfield
. The house, which had been closed since November, was opened, aired out, and supplies brought in to make it favourable for its occupants.

But news also began spreading throughout the area of a different sort, which pained the youngest ladies at Longbourn. This particular news was that the whole militia, which had been stationed at
Meryton
, was preparing to depart. They would all be leaving for
Brighton
by the week’s end.

Kitty and
Lydia
seemed the hardest hit by this news. Suddenly the merriment and joy in planning a wedding became a drudgery and chore. They could think of nothing but losing all those fine, well-dressed officers. The balls would not be as festive; Jane’s wedding would even lose some of its appeal without the officers in their red coats.

It was the day following that news that Bingley arrived at
Netherfield
and promptly rode over to Longbourn. The
Bennet
family had been having a discussion around their dining room table about the dreary prospect of the militia leaving.
Lydia
was positively unyielding in her whining to be allowed to go to
Brighton
. Could they go as a family; could she go on her own? There must be some way! Kitty also voiced her opinion, making certain it was known that she wished to go as well.

Mr.
Bennet
was in the middle of a lengthy argument against such a thing when it was announced that Mr. Bingley had arrived. Gasps came from all over, a breathy one from Jane accompanied by a blush, an exuberant one from Mrs.
Bennet
, and a cheerful, encouraging one from
Elizabeth
.
Elizabeth
took Jane’s hand and squeezed it tightly as Mrs.
Bennet
began ordering everyone around, not doing a bit of good.

Mr.
Bennet
stood up and announced that he would go to him and that everyone else ought to remain where they were and stay calm! As he walked out, his heart beat a little more rapidly as he realized one of his greatest desires for any of his daughters was about to come to pass. He was soon to give consent to a marriage that was perfectly acceptable to both himself and his daughter. She would enter into a very beneficial marriage, but one that was based on love.

The
Bennet
ladies remained in the dining room. Jane’s heart pounded wildly. In reality, she had no reason for any concern, as Mr.
Bennet
had made it perfectly clear that he approved heartily of Bingley and would never refuse him. It was merely the waiting that was so difficult.

Kitty and
Lydia
greatly desired to continue to plead their case to Mrs.
Bennet
about going to
Brighton
, but she would not have it, as much as she would like to do the same. Her mind now was focused on the wedding and she could think of nothing else. This left the two younger sisters very downcast and seeing very little hope for a pleasant summer.

The minutes ticked away, as they all waited anxiously. Mrs.
Bennet
began fanning herself, feeling flushed all over. "Oh, what could be taking them so long? How long does it take to give one’s consent?" she asked mercilessly. "He will have me most vexed if he does anything to…" She was interrupted by the sound of the library door opening and laughter, as Mr.
Bennet
and Mr. Bingley walked toward the dining room. "Girls, sit up; smile, Jane, smile."

Jane found it very hard to smile with her mother pestering her so. Her heart beat so erratically she felt as if she would faint. But a gentle smile did ease its way on to her face when she saw Charles’ beaming grin.

Jane timidly approached him as he held out his arm to her and the smile on his face reached all the way to his bright blue eyes. She blushed as every eye was upon her when she took his arm and he nodded to her, as if to say, it is all accomplished, we are officially engaged!

Mr.
Bennet
broke the reverie of the group and announced, "Well, it appears we shall be having a wedding, come July… if that is agreeable with everyone!"

The air suddenly exploded with cries of delight and praises along with offers of congratulations. Jane continued to smile through her tears of joy, her hold on Charles tightening, as if she needed him to keep her upright.
Elizabeth
came over to the couple and, with genuine love and delight, expressed her favour. Jane released her hold from Bingley’s arm as
Elizabeth
reached to hug her and she wrapped both arms around her sister in return.

Mrs.
Bennet
joyfully embraced her soon to be son-in-law and began exclaiming how thrilled she was. She submitted to him that she was certain he would be most happy in his decision to marry their daughter and would never regret it. She was sure they would be the happiest of couples.

Elizabeth and Jane discreetly rolled their eyes as their mother carried on. Bingley simply smiled.

"Mama," broke in
Elizabeth
, "Shall we allow Jane and Mr. Bingley some time together?"

Bingley spoke up quickly, "I should enjoy it, if it is acceptable to Miss
Bennet
, if we could go outside for a walk. I should like that very much." He looked at Jane, raising his eyebrows to question if this suited her.

"Yes, that would be most agreeable to me."

Elizabeth
watched as the two walked out; Jane’s hand securely within Charles’ arm. Her heart was content knowing how very happy; how very much in love they were. She sighed, letting the breath out slowly. She had always believed that it would indeed be Jane who would marry well, as she was five times prettier than any of the other
Bennet
sisters. Now she was engaged to a man who not only was very well off, but one she loved as well.
Elizabeth
could not be happier for her.

Later, when Jane returned from their walk, Bingley had taken leave. As soon as she entered the house, Mrs.
Bennet
began planning and plotting details of the wedding. She wanted to begin immediately and it was set that they would travel to
Meryton
tomorrow to pick out the fabric for the wedding dress and make arrangements immediately to have it made.

The following day, Elizabeth, Jane, and Mrs.
Bennet
went into town to the millinery shop to seek out the finest fabrics for the wedding dress. Mrs.
Bennet
could not refrain from telling everyone she met that day the good news about her daughter marrying Mr. Bingley of
Netherfield
, although most had already heard.

When Jane’s fabrics had been chosen,
Elizabeth
walked outside whilst her sister and mother made some final decisions and measurements were taken for her dress. As she stood outside the shop, she was startled to see Wickham coming toward her with two other officers. It was too late for her to return to the shop. He was the last person she wanted to see and she hoped he would not stop to talk.

When he noticed her, an overall uneasiness spread across his face. He stopped and bowed to her, telling the two other men to continue on and he would soon join them. He looked down at her, then away. "Miss
Bennet
, I understand you had the fortunate opportunity to spend a few days in the home of my youth."

"Why, yes. My sister Jane and I did go to
Pemberley
."

"Oh yes. I understand your sister is to be married. I wish her the best."

"Thank you."
Elizabeth
wished he would just move on. She found his close presence very disturbing.

"Pray, did you find
Pemberley
to your satisfaction?"

"Yes, it was quite grand."

"I heard of Mr. Darcy’s accident and that he fortunately pulled through. Were you there when he recovered?"

"Yes, we were."

"And Miss Darcy – was she there?"

"Yes, and I found her to be a charming young girl. I believe I was told by someone once that she was proud, like her brother, but instead I found her to be sweet and somewhat shy."

Wickham nervously smiled, knowing she was recalling his description of her. "Well I suppose she has grown up since I last saw her."

"Yes, I suppose she has."

"I am glad to hear that." He shuffled his feet and wondered what, if anything, she knew about his past with Georgiana. He abruptly turned to
Elizabeth
and said, "Well, Miss
Bennet
, you must have heard that our regiment is soon to leave for
Brighton
. I will take leave of you now, as I have much to do to get ready. It was a pleasure getting to know you and your family."

With that, he bowed and
Elizabeth
forced a smile.
Yes, leave, Mr. Wickham, be gone to
Brighton
and leave us all alone!
She thought to herself.

When they returned to Longbourn, they encountered a household full of exasperation.
Lydia
had received an invitation from Mrs. Forster to accompany her and her husband to
Brighton
. Kitty was all out of sorts because she was not included in the invitation and did not understand why she should not be able to go as well. They were both terribly vexed because Mr.
Bennet
was not inclined to allow either girl to go.

When Jane, Elizabeth, and Mrs.
Bennet
stepped inside,
Lydia
assaulted her mother with the burning request to be allowed to go. "Please, I must go! What else shall I do if I can’t go? I have been invited by Mrs. Forster as her particular friend! Please!"

Mrs.
Bennet
could see no reason not to give in when Mr.
Bennet
adamantly gave his refusal. "I will not have one of my daughters running off with a group of officers, when my eldest daughter is about to be married.
Lydia
you will stay here and tell the
Forsters
that you must decline!"

With that he stormed off. Mrs.
Bennet
looked at
Lydia
and whispered, "I do not see anything wrong with you telling the
Forsters
that you are unable to join them presently, but some time in August, if the invitation is still extended, you may then accept their gracious invitation. The wedding will be over by then and all should be fine."

Lydia
was only temporarily relieved, but she was grateful to have at least a little hope of going. Kitty was still very much in distress about being slighted by the
Forsters
and Mary was appalled that either was even considering going, let alone her mother giving permission. Elizabeth and Jane excused themselves from this spirited conversation and sought solace with each other outside.