Artist's Dream (25 page)

“You have to decide what’s fair and what’s most important to you.”

Cassie glanced at her father and Luke sitting on the sofa

together. Her father was nearly a stranger to her, but her eyes warmed as she watched Luke. She was surprised at how quickly Luke had become important to her, had become so necessary in her life. And she didn’t think she was willing to give that up.

“Hey you two, help me set the table,” Kim called.

“Come on. It’ll give you something to do,” Lisa said.

Cassie followed, only glancing once in the direction of Luke and her father, both still absorbed in the football game. She thought that, under different circumstances, Luke and her father might actually get along. And it made her sad to realize that day would never come.

“How are you holding up?” Kim asked.

“I’m okay,” Cassie said. “This hardly seems like our normal Thanksgiving, though.”

“No,” Kim agreed. “We should all be in the kitchen drinking wine and cooking.”

She followed Kim around the table, carefully arranging the silŹverware. Only two times a year did they set such a formal table. Kim had a beautiful fall flower arrangement in the center and her grandmother’s crystal candleholders on either side.

As if reading her thoughts, Kim said, “I wonder why we only use the china during the holidays?”

“That’s what makes it special.”

“Yeah. But it seems a waste.”

Cassie laughed. “The way you like to throw things in the dishŹwasher, they wouldn’t last through the year.”

“By the way, we had a nice visit with Luke before you got here.”

Cassie glanced up. “And I thought we would be early. What time did she get here?”

“Nearly an hour before you. Why didn’t you tell us she doesn’t drink?”

Cassie shrugged. “It just never came up, I guess.”

“Well, she’s really nice. I know, at first, I thought she wasn’t right for you,” Kim said.

“Yes. She was just too experienced for me,” Cassie said, repeatŹing Kim’s earlier words.

“With her looks and that body, I expected her to be conceited, pretentious and stuck on herself. But she’s so unassuming and modest, almost. She’s sweet.”

Cassie laughed and glanced toward Luke. Sweet? She certainly was that, although she never would have thought to describe a nearly six-foot tall wonian with lean muscle covering her frame that way. Looks could be deceiving, and she knew first-hand how sweet and gentle Luke could be.

“I think she’s pretty hooked on you, Cass.”

“Really?”

“Oh, like you don’t know,” Kim teased.

“I’m pretty hooked on her, too,” Cassie admitted.

“I’m glad you found someone, Cass
ie.
You deserve to have someone like Luke in your life.”

But did Luke deserve to have someone like Cassie, with all the emotional baggage that came with her?

Cassie and Kim exchanged glances as her father finished his Thanksgiving prayer before the meal. He only slightly stumbled over his words as he mentioned the joy of having good friends. At last, he lifted his head and addressed Kim.

“Would you like me to carve the… turkey?”

The tofu turkey sat proudly before him, and Cassie didn’t miss his wry expression. No doubt he had never heard of tofu turkey, much less seen one.

“Probably should let me,” Kim said. “They can be a bit tricky.”

“Very well.”

Cassie let out a heavy sigh as silence settled over the table as they passed around the dishes. She stole a glance at Luke, but she seemed perfectly at ease. Earlier, Cassie had gone into the living room, intending to rescue Luke from her father, but it appeared it was her father who needed rescuing. Luke was chatting away with him, and he seemed very uncomfortable in her presence. No doubt

he was having a hard time disliking Luke. It was one thing to label faceless people as “deviants and perverts” but quite another to be sitting on a sofa, conversing and watching football with one of them.

“Everything looks wonderful. Lisa, you must be quite a cook,” Luke complimented.

“Thanks for bringing the bread,” Lisa said. “I’ve never actually known anyone who could really bake homemade bread.”

“I learned it years ago from my Aunt Susan,” she said, her eyes twinkling as she looked at Cass
ie.
“She and Aunt Darlene taught the whole family to cook.”

Cassie had a moment of panic, hoping Luke wouldn’t describe life in the commune. She could only imagine how her father would react to that.

“Did you come from a big family?” her father asked, and Cassie rolled her eyes. Of course he would ask.

“Not immediate family, no. I was the only child. But I had a large, extended family growing up,” Luke said and left it at that, much to Cassie’s relief.

“Do you still see them?” Kim asked.

“Not as often. We have a reunion every year, and I try to make that, but holidays are pretty scattered.”

“Your parents are still married?”

“No. They never married but they’re still together.”

“Never married?”

Cassie silently cursed her father for asking and held her breath as Luke answered.

“No. They were never much for the establishment. I always thought they might someday, if only for the tax breaks and what have you, but they never even brought it up.”

“How odd,” he said.

But Luke laughed. “Yes, but you’d have to know them to underŹstand.”

“And are you an… artist, too?”

Cassie thought it was time to put a stop to this line of question-

ing, but Luke seemed to be enjoying herself. Certainly Kim and Lisa seemed amused at the conversation.

“I should be so lucky,” she said. “These ladies have tremendous, talent but my drawing tends to be a little more technical. I’m an architect.”

Her father seemed genuinely surprised, Cassie noted. In his eyes, Luke was the only one with a real job. She wondered if his forced dislike of Luke was wavering.

Cassie watched him struggle with his first bite of the turkey and nearly laughed out loud. It was an acquired taste, and she met Kim’s laughing eyes across from her. His expression was much more neutral on the vegetable roll, which to her, tasted just like the dressing she remembered from childhood.

The rest of the meal passed in silence, except for an occasional stray comment about the food. She was thankful when Lisa brought out another bottle of wine. She needed something to relax as the tension had built to an almost unbearable level. For the hunŹdredth time, she regretted her father’s presence. She thought back to last year, when the guests had been Lisa’s brother and his two children and she missed the conversation and laughter that norŹmally accompanied the meals with her friends.

“You were awfully quiet,” Kim said later when they were clearŹing the table.

“I didn’t know what to say. God, I wish he wasn’t here,” Cassie admitted.

“I know, but we survived.”

“Survived, yeah, but it was hardly enjoyable.”

“Not quite what I envisioned our Thanksgiving to be like, no. But at least he didn’t launch into a sermon.”

Cassie sighed. “Thank God. But we haven’t had a chance to talk or visit like normal, and it shouldn’t be this way,” she complained.

“Honey, it is this way when you can’t be yourself. Cassie, you’re allowing him to dictate how you act. That’s not his fault, it’s yours,” Kim said bluntly.

Their eyes locked for a moment and Cassie wanted to be angry,

but it was the truth. She was the one choosing to act differently because her father was here. And she’d hardly spoken to Luke except for the brief exchange when she’d first gotten there. Now Luke and Lisa were both in the living room with her father, and Cassie was very aware of the silence in the room.

“He can’t even bring himself to carry on a conversation with them.”

“No, he can’t. He’s not even trying,” Kim said. “It’s like he’s made up his mind that he won’t like them, no matter what.”

“Exactly.” But what could she do about it?

“Look, let’s just get through it. We’ll finish the wine, then make coffee and serve dessert. Then you can take him home. Tomorrow is another day.”

They piled the plates on the counter, and Kim busied herself putting the leftovers away while Cassie started washing.

“Why don’t you go out and save them,” Cassie suggested. “I’ll finish up in here.”

“I’d rather do dishes,” Kim said.

“You hate doing dishes. Go on,” Cassie urged. “Make converŹsation.”

“You owe me,” Kim said as she walked out.

Cassie tried to remember a time when she’d felt as depressed as she did now and couldn’t. The beginning of the week had been so promising. She had probably spent the best two days of her life with Luke, and she had so been looking forward to the holiday and sharing that time with Luke and her friends. She wanted Kim and Lisa to get to know Luke. She knew they would like her. She enviŹsioned the four of them spending many good times together. Cassie had been the tag-along with them for so long, the fifth wheel, and she had looked forward to having someone of her own so that Kim and Lisa didn’t feel the need to constantly entertain her and include her in everything. With Luke, she could have a partner, someone to share secret glances with, much like Kim and Lisa did. But not tonight, she conceded. Not as long as her father was here.

When the kitchen door opened, she expected Kim. But Luke stood there, her weight shifted slightly on one leg, empty wineŹglass in her hand. Their eyes locked, and Cassie very nearly dropped the plate in her hand.

“Hey.”

“Empty?”

“An excuse,” Luke said.

She finally moved, walking slowly toward Cassie, never breakŹing eye contact.

“This has been the longest day of my life,” Luke said when she stopped just inches from Cass
ie.

“Mine, too,” Cassie agreed. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s a little strained out there,” she said. “We’ve all tried talking to him.”

Cassie dried her hands on the towel then tossed it on the counter with a sigh.

“This was a mistake. I should have just taken him into town for a meal and been done with it. It was stupid of me to think that he might actually like everyone if he spent time around here. Instead, I’ve ruined Thanksgiving for everyone else.”

“Cassie, his hatred is very deep. You can’t change someone who believes the way he does. He’s been teaching for years that we’re nothing but a bunch of sinners.”

“But it’s so unfair. How can I make him see that?”

“You can’t, honey.”

Cassie was taken aback by the sincerity of the endearment and her heart melted. She took the empty glass from Luke and blindly set it on the counter, moving into her arms without thinking.

“Hold me,” she whispered.

Luke’s strong arms folded around her, pulling her close, and she nestled her head against Luke’s soft sweater, finally finding peace.

“God, I’ve missed this,” Luke murmured into her ear.

Cassie’s arms tightened around Luke’s waist and she pressed her face into the softness of Luke’s neck.

“I wanted this day to be special for us,” Cassie finally admitted.

“Sweetheart, it has been special. Just you inviting me here, despite your father, means so much to me.”

“We’ve hardly had a chance to talk, Luke. It’s like we’re strangers.”

Luke pulled back and cupped Cassie’s face with both hands. “We’ll have time. I understand your need to keep a distance with your father. You’re not ready to tell him.”

“But I hate this,” Cassie said. “I just wanted to be with you today.”

Luke smiled. “Well, we’ll shoot for this weekend, huh?”

Cassie reached up and touched Luke’s face. “You really are a very sweet woman, you know that?”

“Sweet?”

“Yeah. Sweet,” Cassie whispered, and she locked eyes with Luke, watching as they turned dark with desire.

“I’ve missed you,” Luke whispered as she lowered her mouth to Cassie’s.

Cassie didn’t hesitate as her mouth opened to Luke, accepting her kiss without a second thought. Their bodies molded together, pressing intimately against each other as they lost themselves in their desire.

Cassie’s tongue found its way into Luke’s warm mouth, swalŹlowing Luke’s moan along with her own and she pressed her body closer still, her thighs tight against Luke’s lean form. She let their passion rage and neither heard the door open or the gasp that folŹlowed.

“Good God in heaven!” he bellowed. “Take your hands off of my daughter!”

Cassie pulled away blindly, her eyes wide as she looked at the angry face of her father.

“Cassandra! What has she done to you?”

“It’s not … like it looks,” she stammered, hating herself for being so weak. She felt Luke move away from her, and the quick glance between them was enough for Cassie’s heart to break. Luke’s eyes were begging Cassie to tell him the truth.

“It looked like this pervert was forcing herself on you,” he spat.

“Of course not! Don’t be ridiculous.”

Cassie was only slightly aware of Kim and Lisa standing in the doorway, silently watching the exchange.

Luke faced her father, her shoulders square. “I’m sorry, this is my fault, although I take offense to being called a pervert. You know nothing about me or my life.”

“I know your kind, and you will all suffer God’s wrath, but you’re not taking my daughter with you. She will be saved!”

His voice had changed, deep and threatening, and Cassie was taken back to her childhood when she would sit in the first row at church, frightened more by the sound of his voice than the words he spoke. But she shook herself. She wasn’t a little girl anymore.

The moment seemed to unfold before her in slow motion. Her father’s face was red with anger but Luke’s had turned passive, easily dismissing his words. Cassie found all eyes on her and she knew, in that moment, that she would have to make a life decision. Right now. There would be no more skirting the issue, no turning back. She could either try to make a life with Luke, a life without her father in it, or she could try to rebuild the relationship with her father, a relationship that could never include Luke.