Around the World in 80 Girls: The Epic 3 Year Trip of a Backpacking Casanova (63 page)

Flirting signs

You should look for, and be aware of, indicators of interest, also called IOIs in pick-up language. These are things that women do when they become attracted to a man. There are dozens of small signs but these are the most obvious ones. From strong to weak:

Very strong indicators of interest

• She approaches you.
 

•
She stays close to you and puts her hand on your chest while she talks with you. When this happens, kiss her! (A strong indicator that she is aroused)
 

•
She touches herself in a flirtatious way when speaking with you.
 

•
Strong eye contact while smiling at you.
 

•
She’ll be eager to introduce you to her friends.
 

•
Her friends go somewhere – bathroom, bar, dance floor or outside – and she stays talking to you.
 

•
She calls you a player or a heartbreaker.
 

•
She asks if you have a girlfriend, or she mentions your girlfriend to see what you say.
 

•
She gives you a flirtatious nickname.
 

•
She asks you to dance with her.
 

•
She laughs at all of your jokes. Even the unfunny ones.
 

•
She tries to get your attention when you talk to other girls.

Strong indicators of interest

• She reinitiates conversation when you stop talking.
 

•
She compliments you a lot or compliments you on things of minor importance.
 

•
She tries to keep the conversation going so that you don't leave.
 

•
She teases you about something.
 

•
She touches you.
 

•
She gets physically closer to you. You may even get the feeling she is hovering around you.
 

•
She's the first to ask your name or other personal questions about you.
 

•
She plays with / tosses her hair or adjusts her clothes to look sexier.

Signs that the girl clearly
doesn’t
like you.

•
She will do the opposite of all things listed above.
 

•
She will turn her back on you or faces someone else when you try to talk to her.
 

•
She pretends she doesn’t hear or understand you for an extended period of time.
 

•
She will say she has a boyfriend straightaway.
 

•
She never asks you anything or sighs and rolls her eyes when you ask her something.
 

•
She looks bored and looks around if she can find other people to talk to.
 

•
She never smiles at any of your jokes because she doesn’t want to give off the wrong signal.
 

•
She looks or reacts offended when you touch her.
 

•
She avoids eye contact and keeps a distance between you.
 

The
girl might be shit-testing you to see how strong and confident you are. It’s best to keep ploughing for at least a minute before ejecting out of the approach.
 

Teasing

These are “cocky/funny” lines that have to be delivered in exaggerated manner. None should come off as offensive; if they do, correct with “you’re cute when you take things seriously”.

Remember,
the only purpose of these lines is to set the tone of the interaction. Timing and relevance will play a big role since you’re really trying to squeeze them in without her noticing too much.

Great lines to tease a girl with.
 

•
You and I are not gonna get along.
 

•
Don’t say anything, you’re cute. You’ll mess it all up.
 

•
You’re cool. You can help me pick up chicks.
 

•
You’re so cute when you don’t know what you’re talking about/what to say.
 

•
I love it when you talk mean to me.
 

•
Are you always this shy?
 

•
You kiss your mother with those lips? (When she says bad words or curses)
 

•
Your girlfriends would totally laugh at you now.
 

•
You’re so lucky I’m not your boyfriend.
 

•
Which one of you girls would win in a fight?
 

•
You guys remind me of the PowerPuff Girls.
 

•
Careful girl, I'm a heartbreak waiting to happen.
 

•
We need to find you a man!!
 

•
You remind me of a bad hair day.
 

One
of the most fun ways to create a flirtatious conversation is to set the frame that she is trying to get into your pants. If you do it in this playful way, she will know you that you are teasing her and will have fun and play along.

Some examples.

• You’re hitting on the wrong guy; I’m totally not boyfriend material. That guy looks better for you. (Point to some dorky guy nearby)
 

•
Stop undressing me with your eyes. I’m not a piece of meat damnit!
 

•
You're such a player.
 

•
Hey, I’m not that easy.
 

•
Stop flirting with me.
 

•
My mother warned me about girls like you.
 

When
you learn to listen and you get a feel for what back and forth teasing is, you will realize that women give you all the material you can possibly need to tease them. Once you establish yourself as a flirt the woman treats you that way.

P
hysical teasing

•
FACEPALM when she does or says something stupid, shake your head in disbelief. (Very powerful)
 

•
Give her a high five. Sometimes you can pull your hand away so she misses.
 

•
Say “OK, note to self: do NOT date this girl”. (Write on your hand)
 

•
Hold your index finger in front of her face and tell her to wait a second. Keep your finger in the air and talk to someone else until she realizes you are making fun of her and turn back. (Very funny technique)
 

•
You can poke (gently) under her rib cage when she’s not looking. Best when she’s ticklish.
 

All
of the above teasing should be done carefully. Don’t piss a girl off and continue to tease or insult her. Be careful with girls who don’t fully understand the English language.

Pre
-selection

This
literally means what it says. You are being pre-selected by women. Have you ever noticed that when you walk around with a hot girl, you get so much more attention from other girls? But when you’re alone and meet the same girls the next day they barely notice you.

If a girl sees you with another (hot) girl, she knows that you are not some anti-social, creepy or threatening guy and that you are capable of attracting and keeping other girls. The girl who is with you already selected you as a fun guy to hang out with.

Being used as a doormat by other girls is NOT pre–selection, so while it’s still kind of okay to be in the friend zone you still have to joke around and possibly flirt with them. If the girls you are with are not visibly happy to be around you than no pre-selection has been made.

Pre-
selection in real life:

•
Have good looking girls around you in social situations like the street, a bar or club or anywhere.

•
Greeting and kissing girls anywhere.
 

•
When having an attractive girl with you, make sure you position yourself in a way that it looks like she is attracted to you.

Pre-selection
in conversations

•
See the article about DHVs
 

•
Mentioning girls in your life in a nonchalant and not so obvious way. Be subtle with this, since a girl’s bullshit radar is more fine-tuned than you think.
 

When
you try to pick up a girl and you sense that she likes to flirt with you but you feel you can’t get her to put out, make her your friend. Completely reverse the situation on her and say “let’s just be friends”. Use her as a pawn when you go out and create pre-selection with other girls this way. The side effect and big advantage of this strategy is that you build good social skills and even might get the girl in the end anyway.

Jealousy

Girls live life on an emotional level and jealousy is one of the strongest emotions out there. Use this to your advantage. Pre-selection combined with jealousy makes seducing her a lot easier since she already sees that withholding sex from you doesn’t work. She knows you have options and can get it from other girls than her. It also produces a time limit on her own actions, because she knows other girls will take the prize if she doesn’t move fast enough.

Motivation

I guess I’m motivated by the hunt more than the actual pussy. I feel like a winner when I’m totally sweet-talking a girl and can game her into bed. The way she looks at you when you approach her, you see her thinking "Here comes another dude trying to pick me up", the surprise on her face when you actually have an interesting story to tell and you aren't the same as every other guy inside in the club.
 

I
enjoy seeing other guys fail where I succeed. I feel fucking powerful when I see guys throwing money around, buying drinks or acting the tough guy but being shy with girls and I’m dancing with a hot girl and walk out of the club with her. Sometimes I parade her a few times through the club and past a group of guys who have seen me walk up to her and take her away or at least get a phone number, which for most of the guys is already mind-boggling as to how I pulled it off.
 

I
think you should look at picking up girls more as a sport with winners and losers and not as the only way to get an orgasm besides fapping to late-night porn. Having a goal usually gives a strong motivation to get off your butt and take action. I had my goal to bang 80 girls around the world and score as many flags as possible.
 

Go out and start gaming
.
 

No excuses.
 

Just do it

Date game and Conversational techniques

If you did well in a club, but not so well that you got laid the same night, then you should at least have scored a phone number.

Dating is the part of picking up I like the most and is the easiest part. You are alone with the girl. There are no loud distractions or cock-blocks around and you have all the time in the world to game her.
 

In
a club it’s much more about quick impressions and looks. Sometimes the girl in the club clearly likes you but her friends pull her away from you or you get majorly cock-blocked by someone else. That’s why you shouldn’t worry or feel bad if a girl rejects you in a club. She doesn’t know anything about you. You can be the coolest person in the world but she didn’t even take the time to get to know you. She only saw a snapshot of you.

On a date you can display a whole array of coolness and stories to eventually seduce her. Once I started doing (online) dates in South America I had a major increase in girls I either kissed, banged and/or flagged.

I started doing dates after already two years of travelling and pretty much conquered South America this way. I dare say that I at least kissed 80% of the girls I met online and went out with. They came to meet a cool traveler and didn’t expect anything else to happen. I just suckered them in.
 

I
won’t go into the whole texting thing because the rules are simple; you’re not in that destination for a long time, so if you get a number from a club girl text her the next afternoon and forget about the two-day texting rule. Do remember the half-hour rule if she texts you but don’t always do this because it’s too annoying to have to wait for a text back.

Also, texting is different on different continents. I was bombarded with texts in South East Asia but flaked up a lot in South America. You get flaked on if the girl makes up excuses not to date you or doesn’t text you back. If a girl doesn’t show up on a date then it’s a flake too. This is the worst one because it’s a big time waster and fucks up your mojo. Don’t worry too much, though, because you can’t do much about it. Maybe the girl liked you in the club when she had a few drinks but changed her mind about you the next day. Maybe you kissed her in the club and now she’s afraid to meet you on a date because she doesn’t want to have sex. That depends on how strong you came on to her. Maybe her friends talked her out of the date. Maybe she gave you a phone number to get rid of you. Maybe she has a boyfriend. Maybe the moon needs to be aligned with the stars.

There
can be many reasons for a girl to flake on you. The most important thing is to not care about it too much and move on. I have been flaked on quite a few times in South America. It’s part of the game you’re playing. If she flakes on you, don’t confront her about it next time you see her. Are you the guy who sat around and got upset? Or are you the guy who called over another girl and then forgot all about it?
 

The
following advice is for dating a girl, I mean after you got her phone number or online date. This won’t work well in a club because clubs are too loud and too distracting. Clubs are for dancing and more direct game described in the other pick up advice.
 

You
can have the looks of Brad Pitt or the dance moves of Justin Timberlake, but if you can’t keep a conversation going with a girl, she will get bored very soon and bail or flake on you. Plain and simple.
 

So,
OK. You got a date with a girl and you’re going for a drink. Yes, a drink, not dinner. The first date(s) should always be a drink, not an expensive dinner. Trying to impress the girl with money is wrong and bad for your wallet anyway. Having to pay for expensive dinners and/or gifts/clothes or whatever before the bang is considered non game/pick-up and works only on gold diggers. Something I strongly advise against and will never do. A drink or two is relatively cheap and you can pick up the check without breaking the bank. Schedule your date in the afternoon or after dinner time, around 9:00 or 9:30pm

What do you talk about?

Most new conversations die quickly or contain moments of awkward silence. At some point you just stare at each other and come up with random dumb questions to keep things going. A conversation should be playful, flirty and fun. Your date has to remember how great it was talking to you, so she will agree to a second date or more spicy things. Girls look further ahead than you and want to meet an interesting person to show off to their friends. Depending on good looks or wealth alone is not enough to keep a girl interested in you – although it sure helps if you have both of them.
 

If
you know where you’re going and can predict the time it will take to get there, then be there just on time for the date or five minutes late. Show her that her time isn’t that important to you and that you’re a busy guy. Never ever say you’re sorry for being late or make up excuses. Be aware that girls in South America are notoriously late, so be ready to still have to wait even though you’re late yourself. If she asks how long you were waiting for her, always say two minutes. Show up ten minutes late on your second date to show that she is not that important to you. Shrug your shoulders if she is upset and cut her off by telling some random bullshit. “OMG, today I just saw this …. Blablabla”

If
in South America always kiss her on the cheek at arrival. No exceptions. Just walk towards her, smile and kiss her check while putting one hand on her shoulder.
 

One
mistake almost all guys make is that they’re sitting across the table from the girl. Never do this! Even if you don't know her so well, you’re supposed to have a fun animated talk. You’re not doing a business deal or applying for a job (or her love).

Sit
next to her. The best way to do this is to keep talking while sitting down, so she won’t notice it too much or just say that you don’t like sitting far away from someone because it’s impersonal. This works surprisingly well. She doesn’t know you yet so she will accept this. Don't almost sit on her lap or move the chair right next to her, but stay within touching distance.

You
should be able to touch her from a comfortable sitting position without having to stretch your arm or lean in heavily. This is important because you have to engage her in the conversation. You must be able to give her a poke, push her away when she playfully insults you and just touch her a lot so she notices that you mean business and you’re not scared of touching her. You’re a sexual guy, show it! Don’t be afraid that you’ll scare her by doing this or feel like some sort of perv. If you are giving her signals like this, you are doing it wrong. You can touch her arms, shoulders or poke in her side. Do not touch her hair or face and mess up her make-up, stay away from her legs and other exotic parts. Unless you know what you’re doing.
 

Here’s
a list of things to talk about. I scraped it together from some gaming websites and came up with a few myself and have field-tested it extensively. Memorize them or make a note on your phone so you can take a peek every once in a while. There’s no specific order, use them in whatever order you want. Use it as filler to close a conversation gap. Make her talk about her feelings but be careful not to show too much of your own. Don’t be afraid to make fun of her and don’t agree with everything she says. It’s important to warm the conversation up before you start with these questions. You have to do about 90% of the talking in the first five or six minutes to warm the conversation up because she will hesitant to open up directly.

Many tips, tricks and techniques are interchangeable between club game and date game but I suggest you use the following questions only in a dating situation.