Animate Me (26 page)

She takes a sip of Brooke’s coffee, her fingers carelessly covering the Buzz drawing. I turn my head so I don’t have to watch.

“Sure, Nathan.”

I don’t even remember the walk back to my cube.

Once back at my animation desk I consider my options. I obsess on the idea of driving to this Bacara place. What I can’t figure out is what I would do once I get there…run into them casually at dinner?
Yeah, I just happened to be in the area and heard the food here was really good.
Would I spy on them by the pool while perched up in a tree? Probably not…with my luck I’d get flustered seeing Brooke in a bikini, and plummet to my death—or worse, survive only to face public humiliation via Mojo Jojo.

It’s not like Brooke was kidnapped. As much as I love the idea of saving her, I can’t break down the door to their suite, pull him off of her, beat him to a pulp and then carry her away in my arms. I do, however make a note to save this idea for future wanking fodder…especially the manly
carrying her off in my arms
part.

No, Brooke went of her own free will. Maybe she was even excited about it. He
is
her boyfriend after all. Romantic getaways sound like something girls really like. I’d like one too if it were with Brooke, even if there weren’t a comic convention involved.

I rest my face in my hands and lean over a really bad Bernie drawing.

Damn Nathan, this obsessing isn’t helping anything.

In desperation I grab my cell phone, and reach out to Curtis, hoping I catch him during one of those very brief periods where he isn’t completely distracted by Billie.

“Curtis,” I groan when he answers his phone.

“Hey dude, you sound like crap. What’s wrong with you?”

“Brooke’s been kidnapped,” I say, not hiding the devastation in my voice.

“What the fuck? Are you serious?”

I realize that wording may not have been wise. “Well actually, by her boyfriend. He suddenly took her to Santa Barbara for some mid-week romantic get-away.”

“Dude, do-not-do-that! I was getting amped up to go all Rambo and help you hunt down whoever kidnapped her.”

“I’m sorry. I just can’t handle this, Curtis. I don’t know what to do. Can we go get a beer or something?”

“I’m supposed to pick up Billie at her store soon to go get burgers. Why don’t you come?”

“I don’t want to mess up your date, but a female perspective might be helpful with this too.”

“Okay, I’ll call and warn her you’re coming. Why don’t you meet us at her shop at six-thirty.”

I rush to finish my work so that I can sneak out a little early. My favorite comic book store sounds like the most comforting place in the world to be right now.

When I pass through the doors I take a deep breath and feel instantly calmer now that I’m in one of my happy places. Billie is on the phone, so I wave to her and head over to the
New Release
section to check out the latest
Thor
issue. I’m several pages into the story when Billie comes up behind me.

“So Curtis says you’ve got it bad, Nathan.”

I sigh and put the book back on the rack before turning to her. “Yeah, Billie…real bad.”

“So he wasn’t toying with me? You really are in love with Brooke, and were doing this thing with Dani to stir things up?”

“Something like that,” I admit.

“That was sure stupid,” she says, matter-of-factly, her fists perched on her hips.

“Yeah, well, I never claimed to be good at this love stuff. I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s amazing I’ve gotten as far with her as I have.”

“Did you do it?” she asks, her eyes wide and disbelieving.

I look down, my cheeks burning. But I realize that I’m not going to get good advice unless I’m honest. “Yes, we did. And now she’s doing it with her boyfriend at some fancy resort.”

“Oh, bummer, dude.”

“I don’t even know now why she did it with me.”

“Shut up, Evans. I don’t want to hear you talking like that. You’re such a catch and you’re just too stupid to realize it. I used to think that your cluelessness was kind of charming, but now it’s getting old.”

Billie thinks I’m a catch?
I scratch my head, bewildered.

“So how was the sex? Was it good?”

“I thought it was amazing.”

“Did she ask you to spend the night?”

I nod.

“Morning sex?”

“Yes,” I admit, embarrassed.

She folds her tattooed arms over her chest and tips her head up, like she’s calculating something.

“Here’s the deal. Brooke is falling for you, but it’s complicated.”

I blanch. It’s eerie she repeated Brooke’s exact word: complicated. I nod briskly, encouraging her to tell me more.

“Arnauld is her boss, and you’re making her realize that he doesn’t give her what she needs, but her life and work are built around him. He’s now realized what’s happening and he’s doing damage control to protect his assets. He’s probably brain-washing her as we speak.”

“Arggg,” I moan. “Yes, yes. He’s brainwashing her, that’s exactly what I’m afraid of. What do I do, Billie?”

Just then Curtis walks through the door and saunters over to us, pulling Billie into his arms.

“Hey bro,” he says as he holds her.

“You’ve got one brilliant girlfriend Curtis,” I tell him, gesturing towards Billie.

“Don’t I know it,” he laughs. “She’s sure as hell smarter than me.”

“Damn right,” she agrees, smiling.

We head over to Mo’s Café and over beers and burgers plot my strategy to pull Brooke out of Arnold’s web.

“Be chill when she gets back dude, don’t act like a crazy obsessed stalker cause that will turn her off for sure,” Curtis advises.

I turn to Billie. “Did you really mean what you said at the shop, that Brooke is falling for me?” I want to believe that so much it hurts.

Billie nods. “But you’ve got to let her figure this out on her own time. If you push her it will backfire.”

I take a swig of my beer and give myself a silent lecture to allow Brooke some space. As desperately as I want her back in my arms, I have to look toward the future. I have to be the together, loving person she would want to be with. Not the wound-up, desperately in love man, I really am.

• • •

The next day, when I step into the break room, there’s a crowd gathered around a large flier on the bulletin board.

“Par-tay! I know just what I’m going to wear!” Dani calls out. “Wait until you see how hot I’m going to look Saturday night.”

I catch Nick rolling his eyes, but I also see him fighting a smile.

“I can’t believe they rented the Palace,” replies Genna. “That must have cost a fortune.”

“Palace? Is this thing in the kingdom of Far Far Away? Will we be in the presence of royalty?” Andy snickers. “If so, I’ll make sure and wear a clean T-shirt.”

“No, idiot,” Joel responds. “It’s that club in Hollywood. Do you ever get out of your man-cave?”

“Only when I’m out of brews and Cheetos.”

“Our noble leader must be spending a fortune. We didn’t even get cost of living increases this year, what’s he trying to prove?” asks Kevin.

“Word is that he’s trying to impress his lady, that Brooke chick that does development,” Andy chimes in.

I bristle and curl my hands into fists. It offends me deeply to hear her name pass through Andy’s slobbering lips. Never mind that I almost threw up in my mouth after hearing her referred to as a chick let alone Arnauld’s “lady”.

“Well, if he wants to impress her he could take what he’s spending on this shindig and pay for a wedding. That would make more sense. They could have kids and start their own animation dynasty.”

“Oooo, maybe it’s a surprise royal wedding and we’re all invited!” squeals Genna.

“If that’s the case I’m not bothering to pull out a clean T-shirt. This one will do,” Andy grumbles as he pulls down the hem, so we see Charlie Brown’s stretched face.

Dani looks over at me. I can see the concern on her face, but I keep my expression calm even though I’m getting more nauseated as each second passes. I slowly work my way over to the counter and pour myself another coffee, before heading out of the break room. Dani catches up with me in the hallway.

“Are you okay, Nathan?” she asks gently.

“Not really. But what can I do? He took her out of town and I can’t talk to her to know what’s going on. Until they get back from their trip I’m driving blind, hoping I don’t crash.”

“Are you coming on Saturday?” She asks.

“I don’t think I can avoid it, but I’m sure not looking forward to it.”

“Well, I’ll be there if you need a friend to hang with. We can go together if you want.”

“Thanks, Dani. You’re a good friend.”

The rest of the afternoon is tantamount to Chinese water torture. Horrible thoughts drip with a consistent pace through my mind, while I pray for my sanity. Drip, drip, drip, drip…only time will tell how long I can hold on.

That evening I try to work on my comic book but the first line I draw of B-Girl undoes me. I end up resorting to hard liquor and watching bootleg versions of the censored wartime cartoons to numb my mind until I finally pass out in a Looney Tunes stupor.

Thursday I hear through the grapevine that Arnold and Brooke are back and there’s a meeting first thing with his team about Saturday’s event. Genna’s friend is the CFO’s assistant so we get all of our info directly through her.

Evidently it’s going to be a full on party: there’s going to be a DJ with a dance floor, catered food, open bar…the works. I didn’t think animators danced, but I’m sure the assistants and accounting staff will make up for us uncoordinates, and get out there and boogie. The whole thing sounds like a major pain-in-the-ass production and we’re all expected to go.

I’m so anxious to talk to Brooke but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to head upstairs until I know more.
Maybe I can drop by her house after work?

After lunch I force myself to get into the cartoon groove and work on animating a new scene. I’m drawing away and listening to my iPod when I sense someone’s watching me.

I look up to see Brooke just inside my cube. She looks rested and has pink cheeks. She also looks apprehensive about being here.

I peel out my earbuds and set my pencil down. “Hi,” I say softly. I’m so relieved to see her, but nervous as well.

“Hi Nathan.” She smiles at me sweetly, but it seems edged with sadness. I immediately realize that she isn’t going to hug me.
Maybe it’s cause we’re at work, and she’s afraid someone will see.
I try to tell myself.

“How are you? Did you have a good time in Santa Barbara?” I’m trying to not obsess over the idea that everything feels different between us now, and not in a good way.

She nods. “Yeah, it was nice…really beautiful there. Have you ever been to Barcara?”

“No, but I considered it once.” I leave out the part where “once” means on Tuesday when I found out she was there with Arnold.

“Well, the time away gave me time to think about things.”

“Things?” I ask nervously. This isn’t going well.

“Yeah, and I think it may be a good idea not to do the coffee visits anymore, so I thought I should drop by and tell you before you go.” She looks down.

It was one thing to hear this from Arnold, but something else entirely with Brooke. Doesn’t she realize how much this will hurt me?

Well, she must have no idea. She didn’t even warn me before she ripped the Band-Aid for my obsession off, and now here I am with my disappointment exposed between us.

I just stare at her with my mouth twisted. I can’t form words, and finally I turn away.

“Okay, sure,” I finally reply once I’m facing my animation table and not her huge sad eyes. My head has fallen forward and it almost feels like I’m talking to the Bucky drawing I just finished, but he’s distracted because his head’s on fire. I push the drawing away from me and lean into my elbows.

“Nathan,” she insists, trying to regain my attention. “Don’t act that way.”

“Act what way?”

“Like I’ve disappointed you.” Her expression’s worried, taking away all the happy pink coloring from her restful getaway.

“Oh.”

I leave it there—no lace trim, or creamy filling…just
oh.
It’s one tiny word that holds much more than its weight in despair.
You don’t think you’ve disappointed me, Brooke? Well, try climbing into this broken heart and tell me if you like the view.

“Come on, Nathan…I came down here to see you and make plans.”

“Plans? What do you want to do?” I try a fake enthusiastic voice. I’m battling a weird unsettled feeling. I can’t help it. I turn back to face her.

“Are you free early Saturday? I have to pick up something at Fred Segal’s and I thought we could get outfits for the party together…then have lunch or something.”

Pick outfits together?
I break into a cold sweat. We slept together and now she wants to go shopping?

Maybe she thinks I can be her BFF for our own episode of
What Not to Wear
. I’ve seen that show at my Mom’s house, and I fear she will make me stand in front of those horrifying three way mirrors. I don’t need that experience to know I don’t dress right. Besides I loathe clothes shopping.

But what stings much more is knowing that I am now merely her shopping buddy. I assume I’m no longer her Starbucks bearing, beer drinking, couch cuddling, cartoon compatriot, buddy/lover. To say that my manhood just shrunk, both metaphorically and in actuality, would be a vast understatement. I try to regain my equilibrium.

She tips her head wondering why I haven’t responded. Thank God she can’t hear this conversation in my head. Something occurs to me and I speak up.

“Who’s Fred Segal anyway…is he a friend of yours?”
Hell.
Maybe she’s planned a gay set-up. I must have been much worse in bed than I could’ve ever imagined.

“A friend?” She laughs. “Oh, man…I’ve missed you. No, Fred Segal is a chic store in West Hollywood that has all the hippest stuff. A lot of music and film people shop there.”

“Why would I want to shop there? I’m not hip,” I point out.

“No, but you could be,” she encourages.