Animate Me (29 page)

I feel his hand on my shoulder first. Nick pulls me away from Dani and then steps between us.

“Thanks Nathan, I’ll take over from here,” he says simply.

Dani’s eyes blaze, as he pulls her into his arms.

I pause, unsure for a moment as to what’s the right thing to do.

“I can’t take another minute of this,” he says to Dani.

She tips her head, watching him, as I stand there like an idiot.

“You belong to me, baby,” he tells Dani, loud enough for me to hear. There’s a still moment where their eyes meet and everything shifts. Even I can feel it.

“I do?” she asks softly, looking up at him. There’s so much love in her eyes.

“You always have, always will, and I’m going to do right by you this time.” He gently runs his fingers along her cheek. “I love you, Dani,” he insists.

The next thing I know they’re moving slowly, in perfect synchronicity, under the hot blue lights. They sway together for a moment before he tips his head down to kiss her. Once he does they’re lost to each other and in their own world.

It’s clear that the game is over. I can’t even panic about the fact that it’s happening here in front of everyone, I’m too overwhelmed with a strange mixture of envy, yet happiness, to see them back together.

I step away, hoping to go unnoticed, but there’s no way I’d be that lucky. When I look in the distance, I see Brooke watching Nick kiss Dani. She looks surprised, and worried at the same time.

Great. Fucking great.

She looks over at me, her concern evident, but she can’t do a thing to help me when Mojo’s arms are wrapped around her.

I stand still, as bodies move around me. I want Brooke. I need Brooke. And Brooke doesn’t belong to me.

I turn on my heel and frame by frame, I move away from a scene only a fool could animate. All I know is that I’ve earned this moment with my lies and deceit.

This script is hopelessly flawed. Stop the sequence; put your pencils down. It’s time to go back to the drawing board.

My head’s pounding as I head straight down the hall. I feel like I can’t get a breath…that if I don’t get some fresh air I just may lose it.

I push my way out the glass doors to the balcony and curl over the rail, attempting to suck in the cold night air. My mind races as I figure out my exit strategy. At this point no one will miss me anyway, and Nick will be taking Dani home. I turn to head back inside and towards the club entrance when from the corner of my eye, I see the door open.

I turn slowly.
Brooke.
She’s come to check on me. My heart surges to know she cares enough about me to leave his side.

She looks worried. “Are you okay?” she says softly.

“I don’t know what I am,” I answer honestly. “This is a weird night for me.”

“Do you feel bad about what happened with Dani and Nick?” she asks.

“No. I think they are meant to be together. I always did, really.”

“You did?”

I nod my head slowly. “And Nick’s a good guy.”

“He is, but you’re better, Nathan. You’re the best…I hope you know that.”

“Well, I know that you make me feel that way.”

She smiles softly but doesn’t say anything.

I take a deep breath. “I wanted to be the one with you tonight Brooke. I can’t stand to see you with Arnold.”

“Oh, Nathan…” She sounds despondent. Maybe she’s apprehensive and thinks I’m on the rebound or something.

It’s time. I’ve got to do it…

“Brooke, we need to talk. There are some things I need to tell you.”

“Okay, but this isn’t a good time or place. I just needed to make sure you’re okay. I really have to get back inside.”

I swallow hard. Maybe she really doesn’t want to hear what I have to say. I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it if she rejects me. I just nod, as I watch her, my eyes wide and searching.

“Come on…let’s get back,” she urges.

“Actually, I’m going to leave now. I think I’ve had enough excitement for one evening. Can we get together tomorrow to talk?”

“Wait…you’re leaving now? Are you sure? You’re going to miss my speech; I think it’s next. I really want you to hear it since you helped inspire it.”

I help inspired her speech? Wow.

“Okay, yeah…I wouldn’t want to miss that. So I’ll stay for your part and then I’ll take off.”

“Okay,” she says sadly. “Hey, can I give you a hug?”

I smile and step towards her and when her arms wrap around me, everything feels better. I even feel hopeful for a moment until we are interrupted.

“Brooke.”

Arnold’s voice is dark and heavy in the cool night air. Every muscle in my body tenses.

“It’s time,” he insists.

She pulls away from me and looks into my eyes. “Come on,” she whispers.

I nod silently.

She turns and approaches Arnold, and he flashes me a dirty look over his shoulder, as they step back inside.

Before I follow, I close my eyes for a moment, and take a slow breath trying to calm myself. But when I open my eyes they’re gone, swallowed by the inky darkness of the club.

Will I go after them? Will I fight for her? Or will I give up my Brooke dream and slide back into my little life?

This decision is what it’s all come down to, as I face the harsh reality of Arnold’s hold on her. One moment Brooke is a satellite circling my heart, the next she’s lost to me in another galaxy.

“
I never look back, darling. It distracts from the now.” ~ Edna Mode
^xvii

T
here’s an eerie sense of déjà vu as I focus on the stage from my anonymous position at the back of the crowd. Mojo is blathering on about the Emmy win, neglecting to mention that he blew it off to watch two testosterone cases pummel each other in the city of sin.

I was with her, you ass. I was the one she beamed for when they announced the winner.

But as soon as Brooke approaches the mike I realize why I feel this way. I am transported to the first moment I saw her, in the big auditorium at Sketch Republic. I was sitting in the back, preparing to take my usual meeting nap when Brooke stepped onto the stage and it lit up like a summer sky. It was love at first sight.

And now, despite the journey I’ve taken with Brooke, as close as we’ve become, I find myself at the back of the crowd once again. But this time, I’m not accepting the idea that I don’t matter, that I’m just an anonymous face in the crowd. So as she begins to speak, I instinctively start to push my way towards the stage.

Halfway through the crowd, I’m close enough to see her fingers graze the mike stand. Her brows knit in contemplation before her clear voice starts to echo across the floor.

“When
Danny Deletes
was announced as the winner for Best Animated Series, I felt incredible pride… not just for helping Lazlo bring his brilliant creation into production, but to be part of this exceptional team here at Sketch Republic. Each of you contributes with your talent, ideas and hard work to help make us one of the most innovative studios in the world.”

For a brief moment I glance around me and realize everyone’s quiet and watching her intently. She has charisma, and I’m not the only one under her spell.

“Animation is hard work, at times it’s grueling. There are crazy schedules, challenging budgets, cutbacks and network constraints. Sometimes things can become a grind, and it’s easy to lose track of how we fell in love with cartoons in the first place.”

I notice Brooke scanning the crowd, but when her eyes rest on mine, she smiles and stops searching.

“Recently, I’ve had the opportunity to be reminded why I fell in love with cartoons. I’ve been taught that if your mind and heart are open, true passion will inspire you to do greater things. This has been the greatest gift for me and I will carry it with me always.”

My heart’s pounding. Have I really inspired her? Have I shown her how to open her heart?
I smile at her and she smiles back, her eyes sparkling under the lights.

“And so I challenge each of you to do what you can to keep your passion alive so you’ll be inspired to do your best work. Lazlo refused to give up on his dream and was working two desk jobs when I convinced the studio that
Danny Deletes
was worth developing. His determination inspired me to never give up on his project.

“So what inspires you? Do you watch old classic cartoons, go to museums, and draw stuff that has nothing to do with your job? Or maybe you read comic books and remember how the stories and characters used to make you feel.

“All that’s important, but this is what I hope inspires you most of all…Every time you lift a pencil, or move that mouse, remember those little kids in front of their TVs. watching our shows, and quoting their favorite lines over and over. When they go to bed at night they’ll be holding their stuffed Danny, Lucy and Bernie dolls close to their hearts. They deserve our best.”

I hear a soft sniff and turn to see Genna brush a tear out of her eye. I quickly turn back towards the stage.
Does she have any idea how inspiring she is? How these guys need to hear this?

How much I love her?

She looks down, takes a deep breath, then looks up again.

“Your creativity and brilliance touches kids all over the world. Be proud of your work and never forget that you are the keepers of the magic. I’m incredibly honored to be part of your team.”

The crowd erupts in applause and cheers. I push myself forward, but then freeze as I see Arnold pull Brooke into his arms and embrace her. He’s never shown this kind of affection towards her publicly, and it’s shocking to everyone, most of all me. A silence falls over the room, and from that point on everything moves in slow motion. When they pull apart, Arnold tucks Brooke under his arm and grabs the mike. He must’ve had a few because he definitely has a buzz going.

“Do you love this girl or what?” he yells enthusiastically.

Everyone cheers as he grabs her tighter.

I want to break his hairy arms.

“‘Cause I do. What do you think? Isn’t she the best? I’d say she’s a keeper!”

Brooke rolls her eyes, but in a playful way like she’s trying to keep things light.

Arnold gears up again. “What do you think guys? Should I marry her?”

Is he fucking serious? Did he just shout that out to the entire company?

As he pulls Brooke close and kisses her again, I hear,
yes!
and
marry her!
being yelled in between hoots and whistles from the crowd. At this point I’m outside of my body and just observing the whole scene. As hard as I try, I can’t get a read on Brooke’s expression. Is it shock? She doesn’t look thrilled, but she doesn’t push him away either. Her numb look and compliance stirs up everything I fear. I may be an emotional idiot, but could Brooke’s vague statements at lunch, along with Arnold’s declaration suggest the possibility that their ship’s getting ready to sail? If so, I’ll be left behind, clinging on to a capsized lifeboat.

Arnold pulls her offstage and the music starts up again. Everything’s blurry, a swirl of colors and light. The music’s deafening when layered onto the screaming inside my head. I sway uncertainly before I feel an arm hook through mine and pull.

“Come on,” the feminine voice says with determination. “I’m getting you out of here.”

“I have to talk to Brooke,” I mumble frantically as she drags me through the crowd.

“Not now…later,” she asserts. She picks up speed so that by the time we reach the front door of the club we blast through it.

I fall forward, my hands clutching my knees as I try to suck in air. She waits patiently as I try to straighten up. “I’ve got to go back in and find her. Please, Morgan…help me find her,” I beg.

“This isn’t a good time for that, Nathan,” she insists as she squints and scans the street. “If you confront her now all hell’s going to break loose, and it will only hurt you and Brooke. I know Arnauld well enough to know when it’s time to steer clear.”

She loops her arm through mine. “Come on, you need a drink.”

Yes a drink, and then another.
Everything’s suddenly in super high-definition focus, and I need it to get blurry again.

She pulls me down the street to a place ironically called The Frolic Room, a retro-cool small bar that looks like it’s been around since the fifties. When we go inside, there are only a few customers and a bartender that looks like he’s seen everything and then some. She deposits me in a booth where the upholstery crack has been sealed with duct tape. I don’t remember telling her I wanted whiskey, but somehow that ends up in front of me. I guess this is the opening scene of the B movie of my life. If only I didn’t have to star in it.

We sit silently while she stirs her olive on a miniature sword around her martini, over and over and over. Finally she lifts it out and pulls the olive off with her teeth. I silently watch her in despair, taking long sips from my drink.

“Love is a rough game,” Morgan finally says definitively.

I half expect her to snap her gum, and pull a cigarette out of the top of her stocking like they did in those forties movies.

I finish my drink with two gulps, then grab onto my hair and pull hard.

“I love Brooke,” I confess.

“No shit, Sherlock,” she replies.

“You knew?”

She rolls her eyes. “Of course. It’s glaringly obvious.”

“If love really is a game, Morgan, Arnold isn’t playing fair.”

She smirks at my new name for Arnauld.

I look at the little sword now abandoned on her cocktail napkin and realize that if Arnold were an action figure, this would be the perfect size weapon to behead him with.

“Yeah, that’s where the rough part comes in. He knows it’s war now. He’s either going to try to make himself look really good, make you look really bad, or some combination of the two.”

Her words ring true, and I squirm at the idea of it. There are endless ways to make me look bad.

“You weren’t a threat at first because he completely underestimated you. He won’t make that mistake again.”