Amelia's Journey (20 page)

That reassurance helped keep his tears at bay. He had taken charge of Billy and Gideon, and Mary Beth claimed Grace Ann. His parents, Grandmama, and Clara had many decisions to make in the next few days. Even now Pa was with his brothers and Clara in the study as they planned what to do for the funeral.

Ma and her sisters-in-law had taken over the running of the household during this time, but thankfully his younger cousins had stayed at home under the charge of their older siblings. This was no time for a lot of running and playing in the house.

Perhaps he could take Billy and Grace Ann to Aunt Helen's house where they could play and not worry about trying to keep quiet. After making sure Billy was engaged in play that would keep him busy for a while, Ben made his way downstairs to find his mother. She sat at the dining table with his two aunts. Talk of refreshments, meals, and condolences reached his ears. They must be planning what to serve when people came to pay their respects. He'd wait and speak with Ma later. Their black dresses were a somber reminder of what had happened during the night.

Two servants were sent about the house with black ribbon to adorn the mirrors, newel posts, and doors as a sign of mourning for the household. One would be placed outside on the front door to inform neighbors of a death in the family.

He left the ladies to their task without disturbing them and strolled into the library to peruse the books on the shelves. Reading was one of his favorite pastimes, but he had very little time at the ranch to enjoy books. He found a copy of
Oliver Twist
and removed it to take upstairs and read while he watched Billy. The story of the orphan boy and the gang of little thieves had fascinated him the first time he'd read it.

Billy played with some blocks by the fireplace. Grace Ann must be with Mary Beth elsewhere in the house. Billy's eyes drooped as he fought sleep. His lids closed then opened wide, then closed again. Ben swooped him up from the floor and carried him to his bed.

Billy opened his eyes, but his head lolled on Ben's shoulder. “I'm not sleepy. Want to play.”

“Let's just rest a bit. I'm tired from being up so much last night, so you must be too.” Ben blinked his own eyes. A little sleep wouldn't hurt either one of them. Billy didn't complain again and curled up on the bed with one hand resting under his cheek. His dark brown curls, so like Ben's, tumbled about his forehead. Ben pulled the cover up over the boy's shoulder and tip-toed from the room.

A noise and voices in the foyer below caught his attention. He leaned over the stair railing, and his heart jumped to his throat. Amelia stood below with her parents and his ma. He bounded down the stairs, his steps light as a feather.

“Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Carlyle. Amelia.” He stopped a few feet from her, but noticed the pink in her cheeks as she smiled and ducked her head.

Ma looped her arm through his. “Come into the parlor. Matthew and Clara will be in shortly. They're finishing up business with his brothers. Mother Haynes is resting. The long night was quite difficult for her.”

Ben followed them into the parlor, staying as close to Amelia as he could without calling attention to himself. His two aunts rose to greet the guests, and they all settled down to visit.

Mrs. Carlyle clasped her hands in her lap. “We're so sorry to learn of Mr. Haynes's passing. If there's anything we can do to help, you must let us know.”

Ma responded, but the words were lost on Ben. He had eyes only for Amelia. She glanced at him twice, but her cheeks again turned red as she jerked her gaze away from him. One of the servant girls brought in a tea tray, and Ma served her guests. Ben took one of the raisin scones and munched on it, his eyes still focused on Amelia.

When the men and Clara came in to join them, Ma stood then turned to Ben. “Son, why don't you take Amelia and find Mary Beth? I'm sure she will want to visit with her friend.”

Ben gulped. “Yes, ma'am. I believe she's upstairs. I'll go get her.” He offered his arm to Amelia. “We can go into the music room. Pa lit the logs there, and it will be nice and warm.”

She smiled up at him. “I'd be delighted.”

Once out of earshot of the others, Ben stopped and grasped both her hands in his. “I know we don't have much time alone, but I'm so glad to see you.”

“Oh, Ben, I'm sorry about your grandfather. I know this must be a difficult time for you as you loved him so much.”

“Yes, it is, and I will miss him. The comforting part is that he possessed a strong Christian faith and is in heaven today. Someday I'll get to see him again, and that's a blessing.” His grandfather's death had brought home to him the fact of life's uncertainty and the inevitability of death.

“We'll be leaving on the train for home on Tuesday. Pa and Aunt Clara are staying here to finish taking care of Grandpapa's estate.” He squeezed her hands. “I so wish you were coming with me, but Kansas is not the place you need to be right now. Once we work things out with your father, then we can plan for it.”

“I so look forward to that time. We have so many who are willing to speak up for us and support us that I know God is working it all out.”

She gazed up at him with so much love in her eyes that all he wanted to do was kiss her and reassure her that he believed that too. Not here though, where at any moment someone could come in and see them. No, he'd wait until they were truly alone.

“I must go and find Mary Beth now. I won't be but a minute.” He raised her hands to his lips and kissed them. “Until we can have more privacy.” He grinned at her blushing cheeks and turned to head upstairs and find Mary Beth. In just a few days he'd be a thousand miles away from her. What would they do if she couldn't come to Kansas in the spring?

Chapter 19

A
fter church on Sunday, Mama stopped to talk with Mrs. Haynes for a few moments. Amelia searched the area and found Ben picking Billy up from the floor. The boy squirmed and tried to get loose, but Ben held firm. When he set his square jaw and scowled at his brother, the boy quieted immediately. Ben would make a wonderful father.

He grinned when he saw her and headed her way. His usually well-groomed hair curled about his forehead, and his brown eyes sparkled. Even in his suit, his tanned face and broad shoulders spoke of his time in the sun roping and herding cattle.

He stopped by her side and set Billy back to the floor, but issued a warning to stay close by and not run in the church. Billy shrugged and went to stand by Mary Beth. Ben shook his head. “That little boy can find more to get into than I ever did.”

“He was quite well behaved at our house.” Not completely the truth, but he hadn't really been disobedient or rude, just a little rambunctious.

“I'm glad to hear that. But enough about my brother, I have something to give you.” He extracted a folded piece of paper from his jacket pocket and pressed it into her palm. “This is the house plan I told you about. Please take it and tell me what you think. It's really rough, but I think you'll get the idea.”

She started to open it, but his hand stopped her. “No, wait until you're alone. I don't want your pa to get suspicious of our talking right now.”

“All right, but I'm really curious to see what you've drawn.” She moistened her lips and swallowed her fear. “Um, I have asked Lettie to teach me how to cook and to do other household chores. I don't want you to find I have no skills at all and not want to marry me.”

Ben laughed. “That's something I'd like to see. Your domestic skills hadn't really entered my mind, but I know you'll do well at whatever you attempt to learn.” He glanced over her shoulder. “Your mother is looking this way, and her expression is very strange.”

“What do you mean?” She so wanted to turn around and see, but Mama might call her away. Besides, she didn't want to be rude.

“I don't know for sure. It's not a frown of disapproval, but she's not smiling either. It's more of contemplative look, as though she's studying us.”

“Oh, dear, then I better go to her now. If she studies too closely, she'll see more than she needs to right now.” Amelia stepped back and spoke loud enough for Mama to hear. “Thank you for the good time last Tuesday. I look forward to seeing you the next time you're in Boston.” She'd be thinking of the kiss of that afternoon and hoping for one if and when she saw him again.

He nodded and grasped Billy's shoulder to lead him to their mother, who talked with Mary Beth and Andrew. The wedding. Amelia hadn't considered what this might do to their plans. She'd have to wait beyond June now and possibly into the fall. That also meant she and Ben would also have to wait at least that long, but then again, maybe the mourning time wasn't as long for men.

The funeral yesterday had not been the sad and somber affair she'd expected. The preacher had extolled Mr. Haynes's contributions to the church and his generosity throughout the city. He told the family that grief was a natural part of human emotion, but they could rejoice in their grief that their loved one was in heaven.

A soloist had sung an arrangement of “Amazing Grace,” and the congregation sang “Praise to the Lord, the Almighty.” The older Mrs. Haynes had such a peaceful look on her face. A shiver ran up and down her back. Someday her grandpa and grandma would have a service like that. She shook off that thought and looked for her parents.

Papa finished speaking with the reverend, and Mother grasped his arm. They headed for the doors, and Amelia scurried to follow them. Once in the carriage Papa said, “Your mother and I are going to the Farnsworth home for dinner tonight. It will be just adults, no young people. We don't like leaving you alone on New Year's Eve, but I'm sure you will find something to occupy your time. Too bad the Barlows are out of the city for the holidays, or you could enjoy the evening with him.”

Just as well Philip wasn't here. Their last time together hadn't gone well. “Yes, sir, I will.” She would, but if she'd known sooner, she could have made arrangements with Mary Beth to be at her house tonight. No, that would be intruding on precious family time since Mrs. Haynes and the children were leaving so soon. She had no real reason for going there except for the fact she desperately wanted to see Ben one last time.

Mama and Papa talked quietly to each other and left Amelia to her own thoughts. Ben filled her mind with his smiling face and dancing eyes. The paper he'd given her crackled in her velvet handbag. She'd forgotten it was there. That would be something to look forward to seeing.

Mama spoke again. “Amelia, dear, we said our goodbyes to Elizabeth Haynes this morning. We don't plan to be at the station to see them off this time around. They need the time together. Mr. Haynes and his sister will remain here until the estate is settled. They're hoping it will take only a few weeks so they can get back to Kansas.”

“I understand.” Her hopes dashed against rocks of disappointment. She had so hoped to see Ben that one last time before he left. Now she feared they had seen each other for the last time for a very long time.

Then her hopes rose again. Tomorrow was New Year's Day. There had to be a way for her to see Ben again. Perhaps Mary Beth and Andrew would come through for them once again, but with Mary Beth staying here, would they have a good reason to visit?

After Sunday dinner, Papa dismissed the servants for the rest of the day. As soon as their chores were completed, they were off to celebrate the ringing in of the New Year with their friends. That meant Amelia would be all alone this evening. Now it loomed even longer and lonelier than it had before.

Amelia hurried up to her room and closed the door. She flung herself across her bed and wept. How long would it be before she saw Ben again? After a good cry, she sat up and spotted her handbag on her dressing table. She leaped across the floor and grabbed it. She had forgotten the paper Ben had given her.

She retrieved the paper and sat by the window. She spread the paper on the table by her chair and perused it. A bunch of squares and rectangles stared back at her. What did they mean? She looked more closely and found writing in the designs. One rectangle had “FRONT PARLOR” written on it and another square had “BEDROOM” on it. Her heart fluttered and her hands shook.

Upon closer inspection, she found the plan to have two bedrooms and a storeroom in the back with a parlor, a dining area, and a kitchen across the front. He had drawn a porch that ran the length of the front of the house with plenty of room for chairs and a swing for afternoon or evening sitting.

She twirled about the room holding the plans to her chest. This was the house where she would live with Ben. She stopped in front of the armoire and unbuttoned the thick wool top she'd worn to church. Time to slip into something much more comfortable if she were to be alone all evening.

After shedding the skirt with its cumbersome bustle, she donned a simple shirtwaist and plain plaid skirt. This was attire for wearing around the house and not out in public. Amelia much preferred this style of dress for her wardrobe, but Mama insisted on the latest fashions when in public. She removed the pins from her hair and let it fall about her shoulders. A good brushing brought out the shine, and she tied it back with a green ribbon. Now, that was much more comfortable. She then lit the lamp to shed more light in the room and sat by its glow to study the floor plan.

It was a perfect house. Soon as she learned the basics of housekeeping, she'd have no trouble at all taking care of it. Meals would be ready and waiting for Ben when he returned home from a day with the cattle. Then a cradle appeared on the scene, and she rocked it with her toe as she did the mending.

A loud knocking sounded from below. She bolted upright from the chair, but relaxed. Lettie or Murphy would answer. The knocking came again, louder this time. Then she remembered all the servants were gone. Goosebumps raised on her arms, and she tip-toed out to the landing and looked down into the foyer.