Amelia's Journey (15 page)

“I…I think you may be right. If Amelia can see what goes on and what will be expected of her, maybe she will have second thoughts. Mercy, the girl can't cook or sew and knows nothing about running a household.”

Elizabeth laughed. “Neither did I, but Clara and I learned very fast. We had to or starve to death. Of course I did get a few pointers from our cook before we left, but mostly Clara and I taught ourselves, and it wasn't always fun.”

Lenora settled back against the sofa. She would not express her opinion too openly until after their visit in the spring. Everything would work out as God willed it, but someone would be hurt after all was said and done, and right now she couldn't decide whether that should be Amelia—or Isaac and herself.

Chapter 14

O
n Sunday before church, Amelia waited with Billy and Grace Ann in the foyer of the church for the Haynes family to arrive so the children could sit with their parents. Friday Mr. Haynes had picked them up to spend the day with his brothers and their families. The house had been much too quiet after they left, and she had welcomed their return that night.

When Mrs. Haynes stepped through the door, the children ran and hugged her. Ben skirted around them and headed for Amelia. “It's so good to see you this morning. I wanted so badly to come to your house yesterday, but Ma suggested it wasn't a good idea. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to stand not seeing you every day while we're here.” He grasped her hands in his.

“Neither do I. This is so hard. Papa wants me to continue to consider other young men, but my future is with you.” She had to cling to that hope, or she'd never make it through the months ahead.

“Ma wants us all together at Grandmama's house today. I offered to bring Billy and Grace Ann back to your house this evening, but I don't know if that will happen or not.”

“I will pray that it does and that Papa will invite you in for a hot drink before going back into the cold. Even if we can't be alone, we can be in the same room. Just having you near makes me happy.”

She glanced behind Ben and spotted her mother frowning and shaking her head. Papa stood next to her with his back toward Amelia as he conversed with a fellow church member.

Her gaze returned to Ben. “I have to go now. Mama is beckoning me. Papa hasn't seen us together as yet, and she's afraid he'll be angry.” She pulled her hands from his grasp. “I'll look for you to bring Billy and Grace Ann tonight.”

She hurried to stand beside her mother just before Papa turned and escorted them into the sanctuary. They filed into their pew box at the same time the Haynes family entered theirs a few rows back. Even as she settled onto the cushioned pew, Amelia sensed Ben's presence and his eyes gazing at the back of her head.

All through the singing and the message, her thoughts rolled through her mind like a kaleidoscope with each turn coloring her emotions. She glanced up at the stained glass windows and focused on the one of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. Her troubles diminished at the anguish shown in Christ's face.

Nothing she ever had to endure would be as hard as that of her Savior going through the anguish of Calvary. Tears misted her eyes, and she bowed her head. Whatever lay ahead, the Lord would walk before her and prepare the way. She had to trust Him and follow wherever He led her. If that happened to be into the arms of Ben, she would be most happy, but if not, she'd have to learn to live with the alternative, whatever that may be.

Mama slipped her hand over to cover Amelia's as though she understood the turmoil going through her daughter at the moment. Amelia prayed for Papa to understand how she and Ben loved each other. Until he did, she could do nothing but be obedient to Papa and perhaps thereby increase his trust in her.

After the service she hurried to the foyer, but Ben had already left. When she opened the door to the outside, she spotted him helping Mary Beth into their carriage. He turned, and when he saw her, a smile grew wide on his face. He touched his fingers to his forehead in a mock salute that said he'd see her later.

That must mean he'd be bringing his brother and sister back to her house tonight. Her spirits soared with the assurance she'd have even a few moments with him that day. The hours would drag by until his return.

She turned to look for her parents and bumped into Philip Barlow. “Oh, excuse me. I didn't realize you were behind me.”

He grinned and steadied her with his hands on her forearms. “I saw you step out here and wanted to speak with you before you left. The Farnsworths are giving a Christmas party in two weeks, and I'd like to escort you to it.”

That invitation had come in the mail on Friday, and Mama had insisted Amelia must attend. Now here Philip had asked to escort her, and she had no reasonable excuse for not accepting. Papa would be most pleased, but what if Ben and Mary Beth had been invited too? The expectant look in Philip's eyes unnerved her, but she managed to answer, “Yes, that will be an honor.” Apparently her earlier rejection had no effect on his efforts to court her. Next time she'd have to be clearer, if there was to be a next time.

“Thank you, Miss Haynes. I'll be in touch as to the time.” He tipped his hat and strode off toward his carriage.

Mama wrapped her arm around Amelia's shoulders. “I assume that was about the Farnsworth party, and from the look on Philip's face, you accepted his invitation to take you.”

“Yes, Mama, I did.”

“Well done, my daughter.” Papa's voice sounded his approval. “You will have a grand time with Mr. Barlow.” He grasped Mama's arm. “Now let's get home to the dinner Lettie has prepared for us.”

Amelia followed them across the street and climbed up into the carriage to sit opposite her mother. “The house will be rather quiet this afternoon without the Haynes children there. I shall miss them.”

“Yes, it has been rather nice having children about the house again. Of course the noise is a little more with a boy than it was with you and Amanda. Grace Ann is growing into a fine young lady as well.”

Papa patted Mama's hand. “Don't get too used to having them around. Remember, they all will be returning to Kansas before very long.” His gaze cut to Amelia as a reminder of his dictum about Ben.

The message didn't miss its mark, and Amelia wracked her brain to come up with something or some way to change Papa's mind about Ben. One thing for sure, she'd never stop trying.

After dinner Isaac beckoned for Lenora to meet with him in his study. When she had taken her seat in the chair near his desk, he pulled the Farnsworth invitation from the drawer. “This could be the opportunity for young Philip to declare his intentions.”

“Yes, it could, but will Amelia return his affections?”

“Of course she will. Our daughter knows what her duty is, and a good marriage is part of that duty.” Even though he'd seen the exchange between Ben and Amelia that morning, he refused to believe there could be more than friendship between the two. He'd never allow Ben to seek Amelia's company for courtship, much less consent to marriage between the two.

“A good marriage is important, but what exactly is a good marriage? You and I are most fortunate that we loved each other before we became betrothed. I fear Amelia's heart lies elsewhere.” Her hands twisted the handkerchief in her grasp.

“It may well indeed not be love for young Barlow that she feels now, but many a marriage has started out with far less than Amelia would have with Philip. He'll be good for her and to her. She'll be close by and will have the life to which she was born.” He'd settle for no less for Amelia, just as he hadn't for Amanda, and that had turned out quite well. Amelia was a good Christian girl and had been taught to honor her parents, and she'd do just that.

“Isaac, you realize that none of this means to Amelia what it does to me or Amanda. Amelia is a free spirit who doesn't see the need for using our wealth and position to gain a place of recognition in life.”

“As the wife of Philip Barlow, she will have all the recognition she needs. She'll be expected to hostess any number of functions along with his mother, and of course with you, my dear, just as Amanda will be.” Women of Boston society knew their duties as the wives of prominent men and daughters of prominent families. Amelia would come around and be one of the best. With her love of people and charming personality, her dinners and parties would be the talk of Boston. His chest swelled with pride at how well his two daughters were doing in life.

“All I want is for our daughters to be happy. Amanda seems to be, but Amelia is a different matter. She's being obedient to you in her actions and doing as you ask, but her heart rebels. I see it every time she is around Benjamin Haynes.”

He had seen it too, but he hesitated to actually forbid his daughter again to see or talk with Benjamin. Once should be enough, and her rebellious spirit might unleash itself if he used too harsh a treatment. “We do not need to worry about that relationship because Benjamin will be returning to Kansas soon, and he'll be too far away to be much of an influence on her.” He had to cling to that hope, or else find himself inflicting harsher guidelines for Amelia to follow.

Lenora gripped her handkerchief with white-knuckled fingers. “If there's nothing else you wish to speak to me about, I will retire upstairs. I feel a headache coming on.”

He hastened around the desk to her side. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to trouble you. Go and take a rest. You've had a hard week with the Haynes children here. I should have been more aware.” He kissed the top of her head then lifted her with gentle hands from the chair. “I'll be in to check on you later.”

After she left, he returned to his desk and sat down. He formed an arch with his fingertips and considered his position.
Lord, help me to do what is right for Amelia. If she left Boston and went far away to live, it would hurt Lenora and cause her much grief. Help me to decide what is best for these two women I love very much.

Why couldn't Amelia be more like Amanda? All through their growing years, Amanda had been the neat, well-organized young lady, but Amelia had been messy, soiling her aprons with dirt from play, running up and down the stairs, as well as taking a ride or two on the banister. In the past year she had grown into a beautiful young woman, but she still had a bit of rebel streak in her, and he prayed it wouldn't become full blown in the days ahead.

Ma straightened Billy's coat and buttoned it. “Now you be good for Mrs. Carlyle. She's helping me and Grandmama, so we can take care of Grandpapa while he's sick.”

Billy shook his head, the dark brown curls bouncing on his forehead. “I remember, Ma. Miss Amelia and Maeleen play with us. They have lots of toys and games for us to play with.”

“That's nice of them, but don't forget, Maeleen has other responsibilities too.”

Grace Ann tied on her bonnet. “When she's busy, Miss Amelia spends time with us. I love reading her books.”

Ma stood and turned to Ben. “I appreciate your willingness to take them back tonight, but my guess it has nothing to do with love for your siblings.”

Grace Ann giggled. “He's sweet on Miss Amelia, and I think she likes him too.”

Ben's cheeks grew warm. “Yes, I am, little Miss Know-It-All, but you best mind your manners and not say anything around her family.”

Ma placed her hands on Ben's shoulders and gazed up at him. “I know you have feelings for her, but be careful. I know Isaac Carlyle, and he can be quite stern. I don't want to see either of you hurt.”

He kissed her forehead. “Thank you, but I already know how Mr. Carlyle feels, so Amelia and I are going to be patient and wait for him to change his mind.” He wrapped a woolen scarf about his neck and nodded at his brother and sister, who hurried out the door and to the carriage.

“I hope to stay a few minutes and talk with Amelia. I'll let you know how that works out.” He couldn't help but note the worried frown on his mother.