Amelia's Journey (29 page)

Amelia's heart swelled with pride at Mrs. Haynes's confidence in Ben. With the plans he had already shared with her, Amelia saw Ben as a prominent man in the ranching business someday. Too bad Papa couldn't see the same success for Ben. If that didn't convince him, then she had little hope of being Ben's bride anytime in the near future.

Ben's concern for Amelia grew as the day wore on. Would the sight she'd witnessed this morning turn her off to ranching? He could reassure her that she wouldn't have to take part in such activities, but would it be enough?

After the last calf had the Rocking H brand on his backside, the ranch hands doused the fire and made preparations to head back to the bunkhouse. He helped the cook load up the chuck wagon and put away supplies. Then he glanced up at the skies, and a frown creased his brow.

What had been a good cloud cover from the sun for their work now loomed dark and gray overhead. He spotted lightning in the distance and detected the scent of rain in the air. They sorely needed the moisture, but he would rather it wait until they were at least undercover. He hated riding Blackie in heavy rain, even if he wore his slicker.

Pa mounted his horse. “Let's get going, boys. That rain won't wait on us.”

Ben swung up on Blackie just as a hard gust of wind hit him and threatened to take his hat. He secured it then reached for the oil skin coat behind his saddle. Even if it was rarely needed, none of them left the ranch without protection from the elements.

Dust swirled about the horses, and the grasses swayed in the wind. At least they were headed in the same direction as the wind and not into it. That made riding somewhat easier, but the thunder now roared more quickly after the lightning strikes to indicate it had drawn closer.

Pa picked up the pace to a near gallop, and they reached the bunkhouse just as the first large drops of rain splattered the ground. They led the horses into the stables and quickly unsaddled them. After being out all day, they needed tending, and Pa never neglected his horses.

Half an hour later, the men made a run for their shelter, and he and Pa ran for the house. Cook had managed to get the chuck wagon into the barn, and Ben spotted him scurrying for cover too.

The rain fell harder and soaked Ben to the skin by the time he reached the front porch with Pa. A chill wind accompanied the downpour and sent shivers through Ben. He and Pa tramped into the house, their clothes dripping on the floor.

Clara hurried toward them. “You boys best get out of those clothes right away then get back here by the warm fire.” She grabbed their hats to dry them and shooed them out of the room. At least she and the children had made it home before the deluge.

While Ben toweled dry and donned fresh clothes, the wind began a howling that rattled the window panes. The clouds hadn't looked like ones that might produce a tornado, but out here, they couldn't be too careful. If things grew bad enough, Pa would move them all to the storm shelter to wait it out.

Here it was the last few days for Amelia and her parents, and a storm had to come. He prayed it held only thunder and lightning and no twisting winds that could destroy everything in their path. He'd been through one of those once before and didn't like the idea of doing it again.

Ben ambled downstairs and joined the others in the parlor. Billy played with blocks near the fireplace, and Grace Ann had curled up in a chair with a book. Mr. and Mrs. Carlyle sat on one side talking with Pa. Amelia spotted him and rushed to his side.

Her eyes opened wide, and her face had grown pale. “The storm sounds horrible. Will we be safe here?”

He held her hands. “Yes, if it gets worse, we will all go down into the storm cellar. It's out beside the house.” If only he could take the fear out of her face, but he had no idea how much worse the storm might become.

Mama appeared, wiping her hands on a dish towel. “Supper's ready. This storm isn't letting up, so we may as well eat.”

Everyone gathered around the table, and Pa offered a prayer for safety during the storm. They ate mostly without conversation as the wind howled and the house groaned. Papa had built it strong and sturdy, and it would survive a thunderstorm, but he wasn't too sure about Mrs. Carlyle. The pinched appearance of her face spoke not only of her fear but also of the lingering headache she'd complained about earlier.

At the end of the meal Mr. Carlyle laid his napkin on the table. “Matthew, Ben, may I speak privately with the two of you?”

Ben stiffened and glanced at Amelia, who stared back wide-eyed. He shoved back from the table and followed his father and Mr. Carlyle into his father's office.

Once the door closed, Mr. Carlyle stood with his hands behind his back and glared at Ben. “I know my daughter cares about you, and you appear to care a great deal about her. I take it you want her to come out here to live?”

Ben swallowed hard. Bracing himself for the refusal, he said, “Yes, sir, I would like to marry your daughter.”

“I expected so, but let me ask you something. Since you expect my daughter to give up all she has known in life to come out here, and she appears to love you enough to be willing to do that, do you love her enough to give up what you have here and move back to Boston to find work there as her husband?”

Ben's heart lurched in his chest. Give up ranching to take a position somewhere in Boston? “I don't know. I hadn't even considered it.” The thought had crossed his mind, but he'd shoved it away and gone ahead with his own plans.

“Don't you think that's rather selfish? You expect her to give up everything for you, but you haven't considered giving up everything for her.” He turned and grasped the door knob. “Think about it, young man. There are two sides to every dilemma.” He strode from the office, closing the door behind him.

Ben stood speechless beside his father for a moment then turned to him. “What in the world would I do in Boston? All I know is ranching.”

Pa shook his head. “No, son, you know ranching
and
business. Those courses you took at the university have given you a keen business sense. Your uncles would welcome you into the family company in Boston.”

“But…but…I want to have a ranch and a home for Amelia here.” Now that simple statement did sound selfish to his ears.

Pa placed his hand on Ben's shoulder. “I think Mr. Carlyle has given you something to seriously consider and pray about. Before asking Amelia to commit her life to you and your dreams, make sure they're her dreams too.”

Pa left the room and rejoined the family. Ben slumped into his father's chair.
Lord, what am I supposed to do now?

Chapter 28

A
melia watched the door to Mr. Haynes's office, her heart pumping blood faster than Blackie raced that first morning. The grim expression on Papa's face and then Mr. Haynes's when they had come from the office sent currents of fear up her spine. The two men continued to talk for a moment until Ben appeared in the doorway. His expression turned her ice cold.

Papa turned and strode to Mama's side. “I think if this storm lets up, we'll head back to St. Louis on tomorrow's afternoon train.”

Amelia gasped and stared at her father. “But Papa, we have two more days left. We can't leave so soon.”

“We'll see what the storm does, and if it passes, we're leaving.”

Ben locked gazes with Amelia. Still so much to be said. What had happened in that office?

Papa reached for Mama's hand. “I believe we need to go to our room and prepare our luggage for tomorrow.” He gazed at Amelia with eyes that pierced her soul. “And I suggest you do the same, Amelia.”

She said nothing but bowed her head and nodded. The storm outside may have done no physical damage, but some hidden storm inside had splintered her heart and life here in the house.

Ben jumped to his feet and followed Papa to the stairway. He touched the man's shoulder.

“Mr. Carlyle, may I have a word?”

“What is it? We have things to do.”

“I understand, but please reconsider and stay the full time. There are still things I want Amelia to see.”

The veins in Papa's neck stood out and his chest swelled. “Young man, have you thought about what I asked a few minutes ago, and would you be willing to do it?”

Ben's jaw tightened. “I don't know.”

Papa narrowed his eyes. “Until you do, I want you to have no further contact with our daughter. Do you understand?”

All air left Amelia's lungs, and she could scarcely breathe. What had Papa done? What did Ben have to do? A sob escaped her throat and she pushed past her parents, racing up the stairs before tears could fall.

“Now see what you've done? We'll be leaving as soon as possible tomorrow, storm or no storm.” He turned on his heel. “Come, Lenora; we must get packed.”

His words followed her to her room where she fell across her bed. When neither Mama nor Papa came in to explain, Amelia sat up and wiped her eyes. Something had happened in that office, and it had turned her father even further away from allowing a relationship between Ben and her. She had to speak to Ben tomorrow and find out what Papa had said.

The next morning Ben wanted to get Amelia aside to explain. He'd spent the night praying and thinking, but he had come to no conclusion. For some reason, God wasn't giving him any answers.

When she came down to breakfast, her parents accompanied her and sat her between them at the table. Ben's gaze locked with hers, and she held a look begging for an explanation. He must find a few minutes alone with her.

Even Billy and Grace Ann sensed the tension and remained unusually quiet this morning before they left for school with Clara.

With the weather clear and sunny, after breakfast Mr. Carlyle sealed his statement of last evening. “Matthew, if you would be so kind as to hitch the surrey, we can be back in town to catch the train to St. Louis. Elizabeth, there's no need for you to come.”

“Whatever you say, Isaac.” Pa sent him a look that told Ben he wanted to talk later. Ben had no answers for the questions Pa would ask.

Mr. Carlyle managed to keep Amelia close to his side, never giving Ben the opportunity to get near her. Her father lifted her up to the backseat and then helped his wife to sit beside Amelia. She bit her lip and blinked back tears that glistened in her eyes.

The look on her face created a lump in his throat. This couldn't be the end. He still believed Amelia was the girl God had chosen for him, and somehow, He would put them together.

The surrey left the yard and headed down the road to town. He followed them to the gate then stood and watched the surrey until it became only a dot in the distance.

He strode back to the corral and leaned on the fence. He swallowed the lump in his throat and gazed up to the blue sky dotted with clouds. “God, what am I to do? I love her and want to marry her. There has to be a way we can be together despite what her father says.”

What are you willing to give up for her?

Ben shook his head. Where had that come from? Then the words of his own prayer came back to him. That was what he had to do, but could he give up everything he'd worked for, planned for, and dreamed about for so long? Until he could answer that question, he didn't have any hope of winning Mr. Carlyle's support, but the thought of doing it, even for Amelia, tore his soul in half.

Mama stepped up behind him. “Your pa told me about Isaac Carlyle's question last night. Have you prayed about it?” She placed her arm across his shoulders.

“Yes, but I don't have any answers. I'm not sure I can give up everything here at the ranch. I love her, but I see her here as my wife, helping me with our own ranch.” The picture of himself in Boston going to an office every day and working with his uncles wouldn't come.

“Until you can honestly say you'd give up everything for her, can you say you truly love her and want what is best for her?”