Am I Boring My Dog? (28 page)

Provide alternatives. Guide your dog toward something else in the room such as a dog bed or less expensive piece of furniture.
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Techniques to train your pup from climbing on the furniture when you’re away include:

Place wide swathes of masking tape, adhesive side up, on the furniture; it will stick to your dog’s paws and/or fur and annoy him. Covering the cushions with aluminum foil will have a similarly irritating (though non-bonding) effect.

Rig up something noisy—a can full of coins, say—on the piece to startle your dog when he jumps on it.

Spray the furniture with something nontoxic but noxious to dogs, such as Bitter Apple.

 

The nice thing about these and similar techniques is that your dog won’t associate you with these mildly aversive experiences and will instead resent the furniture. You should only need to use these measures temporarily, and not when you’re expecting guests (unless they’re the kind you would also like to discourage from settling in on your couch and armchairs).

Many of us don’t mind sitting next to a warm body that doesn’t try to commandeer the remote control, and don’t view a mere species difference as sufficient reason to withhold a comfy snoozing spot. Washable throws
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and slipcovers allow your dog furniture access without announcing your permissive policies to visitors.

Avoid throws with loose weaves that dogs can get their nails or collars caught on.

The following fabrics are particularly suited for slipcovers or upholstery:

As with rugs, think patterns and midtones for whatever type of fabric you opt for—or a color that’s similar to your dog’s hair. I noted in Chapter 1 that you are a bad person if you chose a dog to match your upholstery, but the converse doesn’t hold true.

Finally, if you can afford it, consider leather furniture, which is easy to clean and disinfect.
One caveat:
If the leather doesn’t have a finish, it will absorb oils from your dog’s skin. Even if you never considered him a greaser, your pooch will slowly reveal his favorite place to relax by creating a full- or partial-body stain. Of course, this is another dog décor crisis where a stylish throw can come to the rescue.

This is a complex question, involving both effective methods of eliminating dog detritus and the need to avoid harming your pup with household cleaning products.

Frankie is lucky. I’m ecoconscious and not overly obsessed with cleanliness, so he isn’t exposed to potentially toxic products on a regular basis. I in turn am fortunate to live with a nonshedding, housebroken pup. But we both have our lapses: I keep bleach in my dog-accessible laundry room, for example, and before Frankie was diagnosed and treated for diabetes, his excessive water consumption spurred a few accidents.

And, of course, feces happens.

Most of the dog-related cleaning problems you’ll encounter involve carpeting, which is why it’s a good idea to get rid of the wall-to-wall variety if possible. Unless otherwise noted, the following deal with removing unwanted evidence of your pup’s presence from your rug.

 

The best way to eliminate urine stains and odor is to use a bacteria/enzyme digester, available from most pet stores as well as online. Make sure to use enough of the solution to penetrate your rug as deeply as the urine did, and take care to leave it on as long as directed. Keep your dog out of the room or put plastic over the area during this process. If your pup catches you removing his mark, he might up the pee ante.

For the same reason—as well as because of its potential toxicity—never use cleaning products that contain ammonia, also a prime component of urine. Your dog may think another dog snuck in and peed in his territory.

Speaking of sneaking, if your dog is a stealth urinater and you’re not certain of the pee odor source, you can play CSI tech by searching the room with a black light. These lights usually cost less than $20; some even come free with odor removal products. If your baseboards and walls were targeted, mild soap and water should suffice to remove the evidence of your dog’s misplaced machismo (sorry, but girl dogs don’t tend to lift their legs to pee on the wall).

 

Waiting for complete solidification to occur is your best strategy. If you attempt to wash dog doo from your carpet before it dries, it will only smear and become embedded in the fibers.

To eliminate any odiferous flaky residue, add baking soda and then vacuum.

If the waste was semi-liquid to begin with or emerged from your dog’s other end,
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pick up and blot what you can with dry folded paper towels; be gentle so that you don’t embed anything into the carpet. Once you remove the semi-solid portion, apply the same type of bacteria/enzyme digester you would use on urine. Or wait until the mess dries, sprinkle on baking soda, and vacuum.

 

The best dog hair defense is a good offense (or is that the other way around? I get my sports metaphors confused): the more frequently you groom your dog, the less hair will be arrayed around your house. But, even more than feces, shed happens, and it’s impossible to avoid furry furnishings if you live with a breed that has a nonstick coat. The solution: vacuum, vacuum, vacuum. Vacuum cleaner manufacturers have risen to the occasion, creating a mind-boggling array of products and attachments aimed at those beset by pet hair.
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Among them are robotic vacuums, which not only do the job without human effort but, because they beep and flash, inspire some dogs to believe they’re exciting toys intended for them. Any possible benefits of this illusion, of course, depend on how your dog treats her playthings. Indeed, some dogs mistake robotic vacuums for aliens that need to be attacked and sent back to space.

In addition, as with dried dog poop and vomit, baking soda makes a great vacuuming aid, bonding to hair, bacteria, and dander; it also helps eliminate doggie odor. Sprinkle it on and let it sit for about half an hour before suctioning it up.