Always Come Home (Emerson 1) (23 page)

“You’re a bastard,” whispered Ava.

“In all ways but legally, pet. Now run along and
consider my offer. I see we’ve attracted Ridgeway’s attention. Another moment
and he’ll be slapping a glove in my face.”

Ava turned away from him blindly, running into Myra
Babcock as she did so. She did not want Colin to see her so upset because she
couldn’t explain the reason. She had to regain her composure and decide her
fate.

*

“You’re quiet tonight, Ava,” said Rose. “Are you
feeling unwell?”

Mr. Babcock had lent them his carriage for the
journey back to the dower house. Though the distance was not far, the snow
made it slow going.

“I am quite well, thank you. Just tired.” Tired
and with much to consider. The rest of the evening after Clayton’s odious
proposition had passed as if it had been a dream. Ava had mostly kept to
herself while watching over Letty to ensure no one was unkind to the girl.

She’d also kept an eye on Colin and Miss Babcock.
They’d been across the room, but she could discern nothing that would indicate
they’d developed a
tendre
for each other. If Colin had been in love
with Nora, the solution would be simple. Ava would leave when they married and
make her own way in the world, though it would not be as a servant in a
ton
household, thanks to Clayton’s vile lies. Perhaps she would go to America.
She could make a fresh start there. She’d have to borrow money from Colin, but
if he married into the Babcock family he could afford to help her. She would
pay him back, of course, no matter how long it took.

However, if Colin did not marry Miss Babcock, then
Ava’s life would be much more complicated. Clayton had told her that Colin
would receive an offer from B. Jones in one week’s time. If he accepted it –
and he would have to – Ava would be expected to leave the next day. If she
didn’t arrive in London at the address Clayton had given her, the offer would
be rescinded.

So Ava had one week to figure out a way she could
help Colin’s family without becoming Lord Clayton’s mistress. Because there
was no way she would do that.

Ava felt the soft weight of Letty’s head on her
shoulder. The poor girl had fallen asleep. Ava eased her down, so Letty lay
across her lap, then she pulled the blanket around her shoulders.

Ava looked up to see Colin staring at her. The heat
in his eyes drew her to him. She could not look away. Fortunately, Rose inadvertently
broke the moment by speaking of the evening.

“Colin, you must find an excuse to get us out of
all future engagements with the Babcocks. Young Richard hasn’t taken the hint
that I am not interested in him romantically.”

“Has he made inappropriate advances? I will not
hesitate to make my displeasure known by thrashing him.”

“No, he is only boorish in the extreme. I cannot
say I like Miss Myra or Miss Babcock all that much, either.”

Colin’s eyes were keen upon his sister. “What fault
do you find with Miss Babcock? So far she has not said anything that could be
construed as unkind or controversial.”

“And that is part of the problem. Her conversation
is utterly inoffensive and it is the very blandness that offends me. I cannot
imagine spending a lifetime with a spouse who would never express an original
opinion.”

“Really? I daresay most men would have no problem
with it,” said Colin with a grin.

He was rewarded with a swat from Rose. “You are not
most men. You would not be happy with her, Colin. I am sure of it. I believe
you desire a wife who is not afraid to speak her mind. One who is well-read
and intelligent. Who is not afraid to make her own way in the world. She
should also have a love of family, since she is inheriting one. You want a
nurturer, one who would be both sister and mother to Letty, if need be.”

Ava realized both Colin and Rose were looking at
her. “You have left one thing off the list, dear Rose,” she said. “Colin’s
wife should also have a good fortune.”

“Pah!” said Rose. “We shall be perfectly fine without
one.”

“Perhaps James is making the family fortune in
America,” said Colin.

“And who knows?” added Rose. “Perhaps I shall marry
a man who’s remarkably plump in the purse. Ah, we have finally arrived. Here,
Ava, let me take Letty.”

“I shall do it,” said Colin as a Babcock groom
opened the carriage door. “Stemple is here to escort you and Ava across the
ice.”

Ava watched Colin carry his youngest sister. The
sight of it made her heart ache for the children she would never have with
him. He would be a magnificent father, regardless of who his very fortunate
wife would be. She also thought of the young girl in his arms who’d already
suffered the barbs and unkind comments of those who held her parentage against
her. What if Colin wasn’t able to restore his family’s fortune? And what if
the scandal of having Clayton’s alleged mistress in residence hurt Letty’s future?
Could Ava live with that?

The answer was a resounding no.

Clayton had the good grace to depart the Babcocks’
home the next morning, sending Ava’s and Maude’s wages to the dower house by
messenger. At least Ava would now have the means to leave the estate, even if
she couldn’t make it all the way to America. She considered her fate as she
tried not to meet Colin’s eyes across the table in the kitchen.

“It’s all here,” said Maude with some surprise after
carefully counting her coins.

“Good,” said Colin. “I’m sure you more than earned
it.”

“Milord,” said Maude, “you’ve been so good to Victor
and me. Do you need…that is to say, if you want to borrow some coin, you can
take what you will.”

Ava could tell that Colin was very touched by the
offer, even if a bit embarrassed.

He smiled. “Maude, that is perhaps the most
generous offer anyone has ever made me. Thank you, but I will not need to
borrow from you. In any case, you’ll likely need to hold on to your coins
since I understand your betrothed’s employer is a miserly fellow who is behind
on his wages.”

“I do not allow anyone to speak ill of my employer,”
said Stemple. “Even my employer. And you must admit he certainly made a good
hire to run his kitchen.”

“Truer words have never been spoken,” said Colin.
“Miss Conway, I wonder if I might have a word with you in the library.”

“It is time for Lady Leticia’s lessons, my lord.”

“I am sure the world will not end if you begin them
fifteen minutes late.”

“I have been teaching your sister the importance of
punctuality.”

“And what better lesson is there than by
demonstrating what it means to be late? I’m sure she can get along without you
for a quarter hour. She can spend the time with her demonic cat.”

Ava both dreaded and treasured time spent alone with
Colin. And if Clayton followed through with his damnable plans, she would only
have one last week with him. She did not intend to waste a minute of it.
“Very well, my lord.”

As soon as they entered the library, Ava realized
she should have asked to move their meeting to the sitting room. For the
library filled her with memories of Christmas night. “What did you wish to
speak to me about?”

For a moment, he said nothing. And Ava wondered
whether Colin was also thinking of that night. “I wanted you to know I have
taken your advice.”

She acted surprised, since she couldn’t very well
tell him Clayton had already informed her of Colin’s queries. “In what way, my
lord?”

“Must you ‘my lord’ me in private, Ava?” When he
received no answer he continued. “I have sent letters to several publishers
and broadsheets, inquiring whether anyone might wish to employ me. I haven’t
heard back from anyone yet, so I cannot get my hopes up. But I must confess I
am somewhat invigorated by the process. I have even begun writing on my own.
It is one way to channel my frustration, instead of spending every night
getting foxed. Although, I must admit sometimes I write and drink. Those are
the more interesting pages, by the way.”

“I am proud of you, Colin.” And she was. She knew
he would be a success. She only regretted she would not be there to witness
it. “You are very talented and I am certain the world will soon recognize it.”

“I don’t know if that will happen. But I am glad to
be doing something to change my circumstances.”

“I would hate to see you forced into a loveless
marriage, though I know it is not unusual for your lot.”

“I wish you would stop pretending there is a
difference between our stations.”

“But there is. Even if the differences in our birthright
do not matter to us, they would matter to your peers.”

“Hang my peers.”

“It could affect your sisters’ future.”

“I do not see why it should. You are a gentleman’s
daughter.”

“I am employed in your household.”

“You are helping me with Letty, but if you’ll
recall, you haven’t been paid. Perhaps I won’t ever give you money. Mayhap
you will have to marry me if you’re to support yourself. And, lest I get
myself into trouble again, I cannot at this time ask you to marry me. But I
wanted you to know that I am trying to become a paid author. Now will you kiss
me?’

“But you are still courting Miss Babcock.”

“I have not officially declared myself.”

“That sounds like a technicality.”

“Perhaps I should apply for a position as a
solicitor.”

He kissed her hand, then pulled her to him, putting
his arms around her waist. His lips met hers, then gently supped before truly
kissing her, allowing their mouths to meld. He pulled her closer so she could
feel how hard he was.

She sank into him. She had only these few days to
forge a lifetime of memories. And perhaps he was right. Perhaps he could gain
employment from someplace other than Clayton’s company. Mayhap, she had naught
to worry her.

They continued to kiss and gently explore. Then
Colin all but bolted from her, striding across the room toward the windows.
Ava was about to ask what was wrong when the door opened and Jasper ran in.

“Jasper has found you, Miss Conway!” said Letty, as
she ran in. “I waited for you in the sitting room, but you didn’t come. I
hoped you weren’t cross with me because I did so poorly at maths yesterday, so
we went in search of you so I could apologize. Did you hear me calling? What
are you looking at, Colin? Is something happening in the garden?”

Colin kept his back to his sister as Ava turned to
tuck away a few curls that had fallen from their pins. She hoped her lips were
not as swollen as they felt.

“Lady Leticia, of course I am not cross with you. We
all need a little practice when we learn something new. You must have more
patience with yourself. But let us go to the sitting room now and attend to
your studies. Perhaps we should bring Jasper with us.”

The cat was staring at Colin and hissing.

“That is an excellent idea,” said Colin. “I believe
you were going to teach the importance of punctuality.”

“Indeed, which means I owe Lady Leticia an apology.”

Letty grinned at her. “I’m just glad you’re not
cross with me.”

Letty hugged her and it was everything Ava could do
not to cry. Letty was a dear, sweet girl. And if Ava had been fortunate
enough to marry Colin, she would have loved Letty like a daughter. Ava would
miss her terribly when she left. But she would hurt her grievously if she stayed.

Even if Colin got his contract from someone other
than Clayton, Ava still had to leave.

*

Myra was confused and quite disappointed. Lord
Clayton had returned to his estate. He’d left that very morning. She would
have liked the chance to get to know the viscount better. Much better. And
she was surprised that he hadn’t stayed to court Nora. Because that’s what
gentlemen did. Upon meeting Nora, they never saw beyond her sister’s exquisite
looks. They all believed the outer casing reflected the inner soul. She was
beautiful to look at, so it was assumed that she possessed kindness, honor and
a generosity of spirit to make her a paragon of womanhood.

That was their initial impression.

The fact that Nora was still unmarried after being
courted by every eligible gentleman in Boston showed that while New Englanders
were initially fooled by her looks, they did not remain so for long. That was
why the Babcocks had come to England, in hopes that the family fortune could
buy Nora a husband.

Yet Clayton had departed after breaking his fast,
without even taking his leave of Nora, who was still asleep. Myra wanted to
congratulate the man on being able to detect Nora’s true nature faster than
anyone ever had, though she didn’t think they’d spent enough time together for
that to happen. God knew Ridgeway was still fooled by her. Of course, their
mama had told Nora not to show her true self to Ridgeway unless she could find
a better husband. But Ridgeway seemed impoverished enough that he would have
to take anyone, even Nora at her worst. Myra almost felt sorry for him.

Myra had overheard Clayton’s scandalous proposition
to Miss Conway, of course. That was the advantage to moving with some
stealth. She often heard things she wasn’t supposed to. And she always used
them to her advantage.

Who cared if he was going to employ the governess as
his mistress? That was really none of her concern, since she was only intent on
marrying him. She wasn’t that interested in Clayton himself, but she was
anxious to be married as a means of escaping her parents’ constant criticism.
And she very much wanted to steal him out from under Nora’s nose. Myra didn’t
often have the chance to best Nora, so she always put considerable effort into
it when an opportunity presented itself.

She found Nora in the ballroom, where she was
practicing her curtsey in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirrors.

“I thought I’d find you here,” said Myra, startling
her sister. “You always did like a big mirror.”

“I was just practicing my curtsey. I would so hate
to embarrass his lordship.”

“Which lordship? I’m sure you don’t mean the poor
one. And the other is gone. Tell me what you did to frighten Clayton away.”

“I’m sure if anyone frightened him away, it was
you. You might take care with your meals, Myra, you’re beginning to resemble a
cow.”

“That’s the Nora I’m used to. I daresay Lord
Ridgeway will get to know this side of you soon enough. After the wedding of
course.”

“Who says I’ll marry Ridgeway? Perhaps I’ll choose
Clayton. I’m sure he’ll be back. I’d be a countess once Clayton comes into
his title. In the meantime, I’d be a viscountess.”

“Assuming he’ll marry you, of course. Shall I ask
him if he will? Oh, that’s right, I cannot because he isn’t here. Why did he
leave, do you suppose?”

“It’s probably that Conway creature’s fault. They
had quite a long
tete a tete
last night and she looked positively ill
the rest of the evening. I’m surprised you didn’t learn anything about it,
skulking about the way you always do. Do you think she’s his mistress? I
wouldn’t tolerate Clayton having such a mistress once we are wed.”

“Most men have them.”

Nora made a beautiful moue of distaste. “That may
be true, but I object to her in particular.”

“Do you think she’s Ridgeway’s mistress?” Myra had
been wondering, but there was no one else to ask. However, there was something
in the way the earl spoke of Miss Conway that had always raised her suspicions.

“It doesn’t matter if she is, for the first thing I
shall do upon becoming Lady Ridgeway – if I choose to do so – will be to get
rid of Miss Conway.”

“I would think the first thing you’d do would be to
ship the bastard sister off to some sort of boarding school.”

“That would be the second thing. I’m glad she’s not
his real sister, as I could not abide having a child with that garish red
hair.”

“What about the other sister? I cannot imagine you
would like to be compared to a beauty like Lady Rosemary.”

Nora wrinkled her nose. “I do not think she is all
that attractive. She is not bad looking, I suppose. I would not be ashamed to
be seen with her, as I have been with you. But I would ask papa to dower her
so she could get a husband who would take her far away. I wouldn’t want anyone
else in residence with us.”

“When do you plan to inform Ridgeway of your
plans?”

“If I marry him, I would tell him soon after we are
wed. But, as I said, I might marry Clayton.”

“Even though he has run away from the estate?”

“No one runs from me, Myra. And make no mistake.
If I want him back, he’ll come.”

“Like the gentlemen in Boston?”

Nora’s eyes flashed so angrily that Myra almost took
a step back. “You would do well to never bring up Boston again. Unless you
want to find yourself married to some old man and sent far away.”

That
, thought Myra,
didn’t sound so very bad. At least she would be gone.