Always Come Home (Emerson 1) (22 page)

Ava took a deep breath, wanting to ensure she would
not say anything she could not take back. She was hurt, thoroughly, deeply.
Though she knew that had not been his intention. But she could not remain
silent. “Am I to understand that you are ascertaining whether or not you have
an alternative waiting in the wings before you ask your first choice?”

“No, of course not! You are my first choice. But,
as you know, I must have money.”

“Colin, if I were your first choice, you simply
would have asked me to marry you. There would be no understudy for the role. “

“I never meant to imply you are any such thing. I
am bungling this dreadfully, am I not?”

“Quite. Now I must redouble my efforts to find new
employment.”

“You cannot leave until I pay you your wages.”

“But you cannot pay me until you marry.”

“Exactly.”

“I shall borrow the money from Maude.”

“You would deprive Maude of needed funds right as
she marries?”

Ava closed the distance between them. “My lord,”
she poked his chest with her finger. “I am not an understudy for your bride. I
deserve to be the first choice.”

“But you are…” he began, before being poked again.

“Hush! You have an obligation to your family and
descendants. I understand that. But I have an obligation to protect my
heart. And as hard as it will be for me to leave here, I cannot be heart whole
if I remain.”

“Will it really be hard for you to leave?”

“Yes. I shall miss Rose and Letty dreadfully.”

“Only Rose and Letty?”

“Also Maude and Stemple.”

“What about me, Ava? What about me?”

For a moment, she considered not answering him.
Because she had no words to say. But in the end, she conveyed her message
without them. She went to Colin and pulled him to her for a searing kiss. An
amazing kiss. A kiss that changed lives.

But then she released him. And poked him in the
chest yet again. “What do you think, you…you….nincompoop!”

She whirled away from him before he could catch
her. She was going to leave him. And life would never be the same.

The written invitation from the Babcocks was unusual
in two respects. One was that it had a minimum of exclamation points and
underlined text. Colin was used to receiving daily invitations from Mrs.
Babcock that made clear her excitement. He was often asked to “Partake of a
meal!” Or “Walk in the garden with Miss Babcock, who was SO looking forward to
seeing him!” On one occasion, he was even promised an “Evening of untold
excitement!!!” That evening had consisted of Miss Babcock playing the
pianoforte. And not all that expertly.

Colin knew he should not be snide. It certainly
wasn’t Miss Babcock’s fault that her mother was pushing the match with such
urgency. In truth, the lady herself didn’t seem to share her mama’s enthusiasm
for the marriage, though she always said the correct things.

But this invitation had few embellishments and, even
more surprisingly, it extended not only to Rose and Letty, but to Ava as well, even
if she was only referred to as “the governess.” Ava had been avoiding him even
more than usual ever since their understudy conversation and he could tell she
wanted to cry off from attending the dinner. So, Colin rather shamelessly
enlisted Letty on his behalf.

“But you must come, Miss Conway,” said the girl.
“We cannot leave you back here alone.”

“Thank you, Lady Leticia, but Maude and Stemple will
be here.”

“But it won’t be the same without you.”

“You shall have a marvelous evening.”

“But none of them like me, except for Miss Babcock,”
said the girl quietly.

That alarmed Ava. “What do you mean, poppet? Have
they been unkind to you?”

“Not really. But I can tell Mrs. Babcock likes it
better when I keep to myself and don’t say anything. And when Miss Babcock is
talking to Colin, there’s no one for me to talk to.”

“You can talk to Lady Rose, can’t you?”

“Yes, but Mr. Richard is always pestering her.”

“If you do not wish to attend, why don’t you ask
your brother if you can stay home with me? I am certain we will have much more
fun, just the two of us. Perhaps we can play a game with Maude and Stemple.”

“I would like that, but, well….I like the desserts
at the manor. Not that Maude isn’t a very good cook, of course. But…” The
little girl looked wistful.

“But we don’t get much of a chance for dessert, do
we?”

“Will you please come with us, Miss Conway?
Please?”

Ava was torn. So far she’d avoided Miss Babcock,
not wishing to spend time with the woman who would be fortunate enough to marry
Colin. But she could not deny Letty.

“All right, Lady Leticia, I will accompany you.”

“Brilliant!” said Letty, as she hugged Ava. “There,
Colin, I told you I could get her to come!”

As Letty ran out of the room, Ava scowled at Colin,
who’d apparently been waiting in the hall. “You put your sister up to that.”

“There is no doubt she will enjoy herself more with
you in attendance. We all will. You can even help Rose keep her distance from
that horrid Richard.”

“I will attend, my lord, but only for the sake of
your sisters.”

“Thank you. And don’t forget there will be
dessert.” He tried to look remorseful, but only succeeded in looking
incredibly handsome.

“You are fortunate I like your family so much.”

“What can I say? They are the very best part of
me.”

He was amused when she steadfastly did nothing to
correct that statement.

*

With the exception of Letty, no one from the dower
house was best pleased to arrive at the manor. They were greeted by Mrs.
Babcock, who still scurried forward in a curtsey, though Colin noticed it was
not quite as deep as usual.

“My Lord Ridgeway! Welcome to our, I mean, your
home!” she said as she gave him her hand, which he dutifully bowed over. “And
welcome Lady Rosemary and Lady Leticia. We have a surprise for you.”

“Mrs. Babcock, you have not had the pleasure of
meeting Miss Conway,” said Colin. “Miss Conway, this is our hostess, Mrs.
Babcock.”

“How do you do, madam,” said Ava dutifully.

“Yes, well, you are all here, then,” said Mrs.
Babcock, ignoring her. “Come to the drawing room for the great surprise. I am
told this will be an especial treat for you, Lord Ridgeway.”

Colin was afraid of just what this treat would be.
Then he entered the drawing room and saw a grinning Clayton lounging on the
settee Colin’s grandfather had brought over from Paris.

“Ridgeway,” said Clayton, slowly getting to his
feet. “What a surprise it was when I arrived with Miss Conway’s wages only to
find you no longer lived here. For a moment, I was afraid you’d taken to the
road in a gypsy caravan. But then I heard you were only down the lane in the
cozy cottage.”

“It is one of the most charming houses I have ever
had the pleasure of staying in,” said Ava.

Colin wanted to kiss her for coming to his defense,
despite how out of sorts she was with him at the moment.

Clayton tsked. “But you have little experience with
great houses, my dear. I am sure compared to where you grew up, it must seem a
veritable palace.”

“While it is true that I can compare it to only one
other great house, I can say it is distinguished by its occupants. Each of
whom is happy, intelligent and honorable. In short, it is quite the opposite
of my previous experience.”

Clayton laughed. “Oh, Ava, how I have missed you.”

“It is Miss Conway,” snapped Colin. “And you’d do
well to remember it.”

“You forget, old boy, that while we may know her
equally well now, I knew her first.”

“One more word…” snarled Colin in warning.

“Lord Ridgeway,” said Miss Babcock as she joined
them, thereby preventing Clayton’s murder at least for the nonce, “you simply
must tell Mama that spring will one day arrive here in Wiltshire. She is simply
convinced it will not.”

Colin was still glaring at Clayton, daring him to
say a word. But Miss Babcock’s hold on his arm was surprisingly strong. He
finally let her pull him away, but he kept an eye on Clayton. Colin had
purposely not introduced him to Rose, who was talking to Letty with Richard
hovering nearby. If Clayton made a move toward either of his sisters, Colin
would intercede. Yet Clayton gave them not a glance. Instead, he looked at
Ava.

*

Ava tried not to stare at the pretty picture Colin
and Miss Babcock made. She’d glimpsed Miss Babcock at church on Christmas, so
she’d known she was well favored. But in the drawing room, she was truly
exquisite. A perfect match for the sinfully handsome Colin.

She was so engrossed in watching them that she did
not notice Clayton’s approach until he was but inches away. “They make quite a
couple, do they not?” he asked.

“I do not gossip about my employer, my lord.”

“Is he only that? Just your employer?”

“Why have you come, Lord Clayton?”

“To deliver your wages. I even brought the wages for
that kitchen maid.”

“Maude is now a cook and doing an excellent job.”

Clayton shrugged. “It does not surprise me that
Ridgeway would have to employ an untrained kitchen maid as his cook. He’s just
this side of debtors’ prison.”

“You grow tedious, my lord. Kindly give me my
wages, as well as Maude’s, then you can return home.”

“Anxious to be rid of me so quickly? No, don’t
answer that, my dear. I’m not sure my vanity could take it. I must confess I
have an ulterior motive for my trip. I have come to make a proposition to you.”

“I am not interested in your proposition, my lord.
Or must my knee make my feelings clear again?”

He laughed. “I have so missed your spirit. No, my
proposition is of a different sort and concerns Ridgeway. I have learned he
has been making inquiries with publishing houses. It seems our impoverished
earl fancies himself a writer.”

Ava tried not to let her surprise show. Had Colin
really taken her advice to heart? Why hadn’t be told her?

Clayton continued. “One of the houses he queried,
B. Jones, is part of my holdings. Pray do not spread that about because I
would hate to be tainted by a whiff of trade, though obviously Ridgeway has no
such concerns.”

“I believe it is admirable that he is seeking a
publisher.”

“No offense, my dear, but your kind would think
that. Among my lot, it’s rather shameful. However, I am in the unique
position to give Ridgeway exactly what he wants. A nice income that would
enable him to get out from under the financial mess his father and grandfather
left him in.”

Ava was surprised by Clayton’s generosity. “I know
he would be most appreciative, my lord. But it would be a sound investment for
you, as well. He is an excellent writer.”

“I would have to leave that judgment to you since I
would rather by tarred and feathered than read whatever lofty nonsense he chose
to write. However, I am willing to give him the money he so desperately needs only
if you leave this place and become my mistress.”

Ava felt as if she’d been kicked in the stomach by a
particularly angry mule.

“Dear Ava, I see I have taken you by surprise. You
are incredibly expressive. Arousingly so. I cannot wait to have you beneath
me.”

Ava’s hand itched to slap his face. But she could not
afford to antagonize Clayton when he was in a position to hand Colin everything
he needed. She could not bear to think of becoming any man’s mistress, but she
loved Colin dearly. Could she make this sacrifice for his happiness? To
ensure he could marry where he wanted, even though this meant he would never
marry her?

“Perhaps you need more persuading. It appears that
Ridgeway is doing well with Miss Babcock. But I can assure you it is not going
nearly as well as he thinks. I had a talk with Mr. Babcock today and let’s
just say he might not be as keen to have Ridgeway as a son-in-law, anymore.”

“You lied about him, didn’t you?’

“I certainly didn’t lie about the exploits of his
father and grandfather. No need to, there. The Babcocks want a title in the
family, but they also realize that it will take a great deal to erase the taint
of trade from them. Fortunately, my title would more than compensate for their
deficiencies, whereas Ridgeway’s comes with its own disadvantages.”

“But you’d never even met Miss Babcock until your
arrival.”

“Have you never heard that familiarity breeds
contempt? I firmly believe that the less one knows about a spouse the smoother
the marriage – both before and after the wedding. I’ve seen the lady in
question. She would look beautiful on my arm and ‘twould be no hardship to bed
her. On this, I’m sure Ridgeway and I both agree.”

Ava could not help gritting her teeth at the very
thought of Colin bedding Miss Babcock.

Clayton laughed. “As I said, you are so
expressive. I cannot wait to witness more of your reactions.”

“So you want Miss Babcock for a wife and me as a
mistress.”

“I need a wife and she’s as well-dowered as she is
well-favored. I want you in my bed. But, mostly, I want to beat Ridgeway.”

“If I do take your odious offer, how do I know you won’t
rescind his contract as soon as I lie with you?”

“You don’t trust me, pet?”

“Not in the least.”

“I always knew you were smart, yet still attractive
despite being so. I shall give Lord Ridgeway such a large advance that even if
I were to cancel the contract, he’d still have enough blunt to give both his
sisters a Season. Speaking of his sisters, Rosemary is an exquisite creature.”

“Don’t go near her!” Just the thought of this snake
near Rose was enough to make Ava want to strike him.

“You are such a delight. And I suppose it speaks
well of you that you are so concerned about Ridgeway and his sister. But tell
me, are you not worried about your own future? Once our affair becomes known –
and affairs always do – you will never again be able to get a job as a governess
or chaperone.”

Ava had not thought that far ahead. All she could
think about was protecting Rose from whatever villainous plan Clayton might
concoct. And she couldn’t repeat this – any of this – to Colin. He would
surely call Clayton out.

“What of my future?” asked Ava.

“Well, I must confess that you do not have much of
one even now. Some of the guests at my house party may have gotten the
impression that you and I were lovers.”

She would kill Clayton herself.

“So, there is no place for you in the great houses
of the
ton
now or ever. And if you are delusional enough to think you
might one day be Lady Ridgeway, let me disabuse you of that notion. The
scandal of your past would kill any chances Rosemary might have to marry. The
young red-headed chit wouldn’t even have a hope of marrying years from now.
Not that her chances were going to be all that great to begin with. I cannot
abide that color hair. If you choose to stay here, not only will you ruin
Ridgeway’s chance to become financially independent, but you’ll end his
sisters’ dreams of marriage.”