Always Been Mine (20 page)

I narrowed my eyes at him, but he just looked back, as if we were having a casual conversation. "Did he really come down this weekend for Carlos?"

I jumped, hearing Matty bellow at his little sister. He met my gaze full on. "Cut him some slack, Joey. He's terrified. There is nothing scarier that realizing you could lose the one person you can't live without."

I knew he meant me. But did he mean because I could have been killed, or because I found out one more piece to the riddle that was Matty and I didn’t like what I’d seen? I was pretty sure he meant the latter, because a bar fight wasn’t really that big of a deal. Twice, in a matter of hours, Matty's friends had hinted that I was going to leave him. Jesus, did Matty think that, too? "I'm not going anywhere!" I snapped back.

He raised an eyebrow, as if he knew for a fact that wasn't the truth. "Don't make him a promise you can't keep." It wasn't a threat, more o
f a plea for his best friend. 

             
I was enjoying the quiet. Matty had called out sick today, trying to recover—we were both worried that his black eye and split lip would scare his clients. Or, at least, get the office scuttlebutt stirred up. It seemed like I hadn’t had a moment’s peace in weeks—so different from the life I’d lived just a few months ago.  Listening to tunes on my phone, I was kicking ass entering my narrative from my home visits earlier when an email notification from my boss popped up on screen.

             
I clicked on it, confused by the “Vacation Time Approval” subject line. I hadn’t requested any vacation time. Pulling out my ear buds, I rolled my chair back into the cubicle opening.

             
“Connie?” I asked loudly, knowing she could hear me in her nearby office.

             
“Come on in, Jo.” I walked over and leaned into her office, but she motioned me in with her hand. “Close the door.” I shut it quietly behind me and looked at her with confusion. I was about to ask about the email when she leaned forward and asked, “How is Matt doing today?”

             
I raised an eyebrow. “He had a rough weekend. I haven’t talked to him yet today though.”

             
She raised a perfectly waxed eyebrow and mmhhmmed. “I talked to him earlier, and he seems to be nursing his pride a little bit, amongst other things.”

             
She knew. I knew she knew. Fine, I’ll change the subject. “I didn’t request any vacation time.”

             
Connie nodded. “I know. But, you’re going to request it in a little while and I wanted to make my approval official so there isn’t any confusion later on. So, that’s where the email comes in.”

             
“Why am I going to request vacation time in a little while?”

             
My supervisor smiled at me. “You need to talk to Matt. If you decide you don’t want to take any time off, you don’t have to. But, on the off chance you still will, don’t delete the email.”

             
I stood, realizing that I needed to talk to Matty right away. I was reaching for the door when Connie cleared her throat. “Jo? Would you please tell Matt to check his work e-mail? His approval is in there as well.” I nodded, walking back to my desk. Was there never going to be a good old-fashioned normal day while I was with Matty?

             
“What do you mean it’s a surprise?” I demanded.

             
Matty grinned. “I mean I’m not telling you where we’re going until we’re on the way. All you need to know is that it’s gonna be sunny and hot, you need swim gear and shorts and sunglasses. Oh, and comfortable shoes. It is somewhere you really wanna be, and we have to fly to get there, so you should just bring a carry-on.”

             
“I did tell you I don’t have my passport, right?”

             
He chuckled and nodded. “No passport required.” He moved over on the couch to lay his head on my lap. “Say you’ll come away with me?”

I couldn’t help but smile down at him. “Of course I’ll come. How could any girl say no to you?” I reached down, smoothing his hair back. “But why are we going on vacation? We just got back from Boston.”

He pushed my hand away and sat up. “Boston was a fucking nightmare.” He stood and walked over to the fridge. We still hadn’t talked about anything that happened over the weekend, and at some point we needed to discuss both the events and the Bastards. I just didn’t want to. He turned back to me then. “This is a mini-vacation to say I’m sorry for that.”

I stood and walked to him. “You don’t need to take me away to say you’re sorry.”

Reaching an arm around me, he kissed my temple. “I know. But I want to take you away from everything so we can have fun and forget ourselves for a little while.” I sighed. He was right. That sounded absolutely perfect.

Wednesday afternoon came quickly and before I knew it, we were in my car, two carry-ons packed, and headed for Boston. Wherever our destination, Logan Airport had a non-stop flight and we were going to spend the night at the apartment. But, we had to make a quick stop so Matty could say goodbye to his son.

Matty slowed, pulling into the familiar driveway and I glanced over to see how he was holding up. This weekend was his weekend with Sam; and instead of spending time with his son, he was taking me away. He had seemed so calm about it, which surprised me, but I just assumed that he’d hold it together until after we left.

I was wrong again. As soon as we shut of the car, the little boy came out of the house pulling a suitcase behind him, followed by Becky. I frowned at Matty and he just shrugged, smiling.

It took us almost fifteen minutes to say our goodbyes, but then we were on our way again – this time with an extra passenger. “Ok.” I turned in my seat to face the boys. “What’s going on? Where are we going?”

Matty just smiled. Sammy could barely contain his excitement, though. “Fine. You can tell her, Bud.”

“Yay!” Sammy was practically jumping up and down. “We’re going to Disney World!”

Disney World? I loved Mickey as much as the next girl, but why was that someplace I really wanted to be? Florida! My heart stopped beating. “Is someone else in Disney World?” I asked Matty, my voice barely a whisper.

“Lily and Jamin are waiting for us right now!” Sam couldn’t wait for his dad to answer, and this time he was actually jumping in his seat, dimples showing with his grin. “We’re gonna be there all weekend!”

I turned back to Matty who was beaming. He was taking me to the one place I really, really wanted to be. God, I loved this man!

The flight lasted forever. Ok. With the security check, boarding time and actual flight time, it took us four hours from Boston until we found our driver in the Orlando airport. But for a mom that hadn’t seen her kids in weeks, it definitely felt like it lasted forever.

I tapped my foot in annoying eagerness as Matty checked us in at the Polynesian Resort, wishing the woman behind the counter would move just a little faster. We had adjoining rooms and the other half of our party, my family, had already checked in.

Familiar giggling on the stairs behind me had me spinning around. Seeing their faces, I felt like I’d won the lottery. My hands came over my mouth, as tears burned my eyes. Matty’s hand rubbed my back gently as a petite little eight year old, her wavy blonde hair pulled away from her face by a mini-ear headband, spotted me and squealed.

“Lily-Belle!” I smiled as she ran toward me full tilt and jumped into my arms. I gave her the biggest hug I could, looking over her shoulder for her big brother. Much too cool to run to his mom, especially in a public place, my dark haired mini-me strutted across the lobby, giving me a gapped tooth grin. “Benamin!” He laughed at my silly nickname, leaning in to hug me.

“We missed you, Mommy!”

I squatted, pulling them both into me. “You have no idea how much I missed you. I hope you had fun this summer, because you can’t leave me again until you’re thirty two!” They giggled and I let go, knowing they’d want to see Sam. Lily immediately started telling me all about our rooms, the pool, and how she’d seen Lilo here this morning. Her excitement was contagious and for the first time, I let the fact that I was in Disney World sink in. I’d been so ecstatic about seeing the kids that I hadn’t thought about the fact that we were in the house of mouse. Suddenly, I felt like a little kid visiting the World for the first time.

My dad grabbed me as soon as I stood up, wrapping his arms around me in the comforting way that only a dad can do. He shook Matty’s hand, stealing him away to talk about fishing… I only heard bits of the conversation, but they were laughing. Mom, on the other hand, looked as cold and reserved as always, offering me a quick kiss on my cheek. I was so happy that even she couldn’t bring me down.

**********

Splashing and the sounds of children’s laughter floated to the chair where I was sprawled out, having the sun dry my skin. I moved the brim of the giant floppy hat Matty had bought me, glancing out into the pool, and smiled. Matty was currently under attack from all three kids and was trying his best to fend them off. He picked up Sam, tossing him through the air, and Lily screeched, jumping on his arm. I chuckled at them.

“What were you thinking?” I tore my eyes away from my loves and glanced questioningly at my mom. She looked fabulous for a woman in her mid-fifties, blue swimsuit clinging to a body that she’d taken expert care of over the years. Her hair was graying and was the only thing that made her look like a sweet, loving grandmother. It was funny how her attitude didn’t match that image at all. “You should be ashamed of yourself, young lady! Coming here with
him
while your husband stays home. I’m sure the kids would have loved to see their father.”

I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t know we were coming, Mom. Matty surprised me.”
              

“Hmm.” She turned back to the water and I saw her glare at Matty. “I’m just glad your father and I have been down here so we didn’t have to watch our only daughter ruin her marriage and make an ass out of herself by having an affair. Do you know how foolish you look—throwing yourself at a man like him? No one in their right mind would believe he'd be interested in you!”

              Ignoring the veiled insult, I arched a brow. “So, you’ve talked to Will.” She only pursed her lips in answer. “I hate to break it to you, Ma, but you’re precious son-in-law isn’t the saint he claims to be. Next time you talk to him, ask him who cheated on who.”

             
“Oh, for god’s sake, Josephine, grow up! Men have affairs all the time!" She swept her arm dramatically. "Do you honestly think your father was faithful to me?” I gaped at her. She only smiled snidely in return. “It’s different for men; they need to…”

             
“Stop right there!” I interrupted. “You honestly expect me to believe that Daddy cheated on you and you stayed?”

             
“Well of course I did! He was nothing when

I met him. I didn’t put in all the hours encouraging him and helping him get where he was to leave over a few silly affairs.”
A few...?
I looked away, unable to believe this woman with the crazy ideas shared my DNA. “Will felt ignored and did what any man would do.” She clucked in annoyance. “I did not raise you to behave so selfishly. You need to end this stupidity while you still can!” Her voice was low and icy.

It never failed. Five minutes alone with my mom and I felt like I was twelve years old again. I’m sure if we’d had this conversation a few weeks ago, I’d be berating myself right now. But that was before Matty. I turned my head to find him leaning against the edge of the pool, laughing with Ben. I smiled. He looked up as if sensing me staring, and his eyes lit up as he blew me a kiss.

“Think what you want mom, but this is really none of your business.”

**********

“Joes?” Matty stopped suddenly, staring out into the water. After a busy few days park hopping with the kids, he’d somehow convinced my parents to keep all three kids after a luau dinner show at Ohana’s. We’d taken advantage of the privacy and were walking hand in hand down the moonlit beach next to the Seven Seas Lagoon.

“Matty?” I sighed back, looking at the lights of the Magic Kingdom in the distance and listening to the water lap the shoreline. I was completely content.

He squeezed my hand gently. “I’m having a really good time.” I smiled. I was, too. Disney World with three kids wasn’t as bad as I’d thought it would be, and while we’d kept them beyond busy, they’d all been amazing. “I want this all the time.”

I turned to him. "The beach and balmy temps? Yeah, the Caribbean does sound nice."

He looked at me, chuckling. “You. I want the three of you all the time. I love you. I love them.” He shrugged, wetting his bottom lip. “I want you to move in with me when we get home.”

I was speechless. We’d never talked about our future. I sighed, searching his eyes. I did want to spend the rest of my life with him, and at some point we’d have to tell the kids that Will and I weren’t together. It wasn’t like they could come stay at the hotel with me. I couldn’t keep the smile from my face as I nodded. “Ok.”

Matty whooped, jumping in the air like a little kid, and I laughed. He beamed back. “Do you have any idea how happy you make me?” If it was half as happy as he made me, then I made him delirious.

Cutting our walk short, we ran back to the hotel, excited to be alone again. As quietly as we could, so we didn’t wake up the family in our adjoining room, we spent the night showing each other just how much we each loved the other.

**********

I’d said my goodbyes to my kids at the hotel. We thought it would be too hard to bring everyone to the airport, and since they had another few days at Disney, my mom distracted them by taking them to Animal Kingdom. Dad, on the other hand, had insisted on coming with us. He and Matty had joked and made small talk the entire ride. I tried to enjoy them, but I hated leaving my babies. When we got to the security entrance, I thanked my dad for making the weekend fun. He just laughed and wrapped his arms around me.

“I’m gonna miss you, Kid!” My dad’s arms held me tight, his lips skimming my forehead. Pulling back slightly, he looked at me like he wouldn’t see me again for months. “You look happier than you have in years!” I smiled, not sure what to say.

He dropped his voice almost to a whisper. “I’ve always liked
Matt, you know that. But I have a whole new respect for him now that he’s got my little girl smiling again. Don’t listen to your mom. Will wasn’t good enough for you fifteen years ago, and he still doesn’t come close.” He moved so we were eye to eye. “You find out what makes you happy and you hold onto it. Your mom can go to hell!”

“Oh, Daddy!” Tears stung my eyes. “Take care of my kids, ok?”

He nodded, turning to Matty. “I’m trusting you to take care of my little girl.” Matty took the comment very seriously, promising to do just that.

I turned and waved as I followed Matty and Sam through baggage check. Watching the father and son in front of me, I realized that I couldn’t wait until my kids were home and the five of us were together again.