Always and Forever (44 page)

For some reason I feel a slight amount of sympathy towards
her. It doesn’t take a genius to see how badly she’s hurting. All of the
animosity and bitterness I saw in her earlier has disappeared, leaving a broken,
vulnerable girl in its place.

“Sarah, don’t cry. She’s not worth it.”

Her friend moves in front of me to console her, making it
clear that the two of them have a lot more understand that I do about what’s happening.
I’m out of the loop and have no idea what the hell is going on. Just a few
seconds ago she was screaming at me and now she’s having an emotional
breakdown.

“Why was Jake hurting?” I ask, not being able to help
myself. I need to know the truth and she can tell me.

“You don’t know anything, do you?” Her friend snaps,
scowling at me.

“Because of the baby.” Sarah whispers.

 I gape at her in astonishment. She spoke so softly, I
almost think I misheard her.  

“The baby?” I prompt her, feeling the terror start to take
over.

I can’t believe it, I
won’t
believe it. There’s a
baby? Jake and Sarah had a baby? It can’t be true, Jake would have told me. I
feel my knees buckle, almost bringing me to the ground. It’s like all of the
energy has been drained from my body, leaving me unsteady and my head spinning.

Sarah is fast to notice the horrified expression on my face
and quickly composes herself. She’s jubilantly triumphant within seconds.

 “Oh, you didn’t know about that? I’m not surprised
Jake didn’t tell you. He refuses to discuss it with anyone. Well, everyone
except me, the
mother
of his child.”

“You… you have a baby?”

I’m quivering and shaking like a frightened animal whereas
Sarah is so confident; I just know she’s telling me the truth.

“God, you really are a stupid bitch. I had a miscarriage!
It broke Jake’s heart when it happened; he was devastated that we had lost
something that was a part of me and him. It’s brought us even closer together
and now we’re invincible, we’re so much stronger because of it and we’re going
to have another baby as soon as Jake can find a place for the three of us to
live.”

She’s so smug, no longer defeated or defenceless. The
vulnerability I saw in her a moment ago has long gone, only her acidic tongue
remains.

“You’re lying.” I say coolly, closing my eyes in an attempt
to control my erratic breathing.

 I’m seconds away from a full blown panic attack and I
won’t give her the satisfaction of watching my anxiety take hold. I
instinctively know she wasn’t lying about the miscarriage. Nobody can fake that
much emotion but what she’s saying about Jake just doesn’t sound right. He’s
been devoted to me these last few weeks, if he had a girlfriend would he really
have had the time to spend so much with me? And I was the one who initiated our
first sexual experience, Jake was the one who was hesitant, it’s not like he
pressured me into anything. If all he ever wanted from me was sexy then he went
a strange way about it. Regardless of what’s true and what isn’t, Jake has been
lying to me. He never told me about Sarah and to me, that’s a big enough
betrayal.

“You know it’s true, I can see it in your eyes. Does it
upset you? Knowing that the guy you’re so infatuated with got me pregnant? To
be honest, I wasn’t all that surprised when it happened. What with the amount
of sex Jake and I have, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner. He can’t keep
his hands off me; I’ve always been his weakness.”

I cringe away from her, swallowing the bile lodged in my
throat when I think of the two of them together. They make so much more sense
than Jake and I, they’re both beautiful, tall, they’re extraordinarily good
lucking and I’m just… not.

I should just walk away from this, away from her and the
toxic things she’s saying to me. No. I can’t. Not without my phone. It’s only a
possession but it’s still another thing she’s taken from me. She’s stripped me
of my dignity, my self-respect and the faith I had in Jake. She’s robbed me of
everything; I won’t allow her to take anything else from me.

“I want my phone, give it to me.” I insist, hoping to sound
bold and threatening. Unfortunately, it came out more like a request and I
clench my fists; the desire to hurt her is so strong.

“I think you’ll find it now belongs to me, just like Jake
does and there’s nothing you can do about it.” She sneers, invading my personal
space.

I can feel her breath on my face and I’m longing to wipe
that smug look off her face. She’s exuberant, she knows she’s won this battle I
can’t do anything about it. I’m incapable of getting my phone back from her and
the knowledge of this makes me feel so weak. She’s degraded me, laughed at me
and humiliated me beyond belief. My fury increases when I think back over
everything she’s said to me tonight, plus the fact that I’m almost suffocating
with jealousy. It’s slowly smothering me and I’m gasping for air. Envy is
coursing through my veins, numbing me against my surroundings; I can’t feel
anything but jealousy and hate. That’s why I no longer have control over the
following words that leave my mouth.

“You know, one good thing came out of everything that
happened. That poor baby had a lucky escape; imagine having
you
for a
mother.”

My remark was beneath me. I’m so much better than the
disgusting thing I just said to her and I already know it was a huge mistake. I
instantly regret it and wish that I could take it back. I’m just about to
apologise when she attacks me.

 Her fingers grab my hair, pulling on it with so much
force, I’m sure she’s going pull it right out of my skull. I quickly realise
how defenceless I am against her wrath. I’ve never been much of a fighter and I
sure as hell don’t stand a chance her fury. I hold onto her fingers, trying to
detach them from my hair. She refuses to let go and I gasp when I feel
something being poured over my head. It stinks of alcohol so I know it must be
Sarah’s drink I saw her holding when she first approached me.

Suddenly, my wrists are yanked behind my back and held
together in a tight grip. I’m utterly powerless against the two of them, Jake
isn’t coming and he’s certainly not going to save me. My heart breaks when I
seriously start to consider the possibility that I’ve been tricked. I must face
the dark and devastating reality that the man I’ve fallen in love is not the
man I believed him to be.

Sarah’s screaming at me but I can’t hear what she’s saying.
It’s as though I’m not really here, I’ve disappeared to a place deep inside
myself. A place that’s safe and a place she can’t reach me. Long nails claw at
my face and I close my eyes, instinctively protecting myself. She grabs my
chin, raising it so she can slap me hard across the face.

“I’m going to make you regret every single moment you spent
with Jake. I’m going to make you sorry.” She screeches menacingly.

 Inside I’m screaming. No matter what she does to me,
I refuse to regret a single second I’ve spent with Jake. Even if these past few
weeks have all been one huge lie, it’s my lie to remember. I will never forget
him or how alive he made me feel in his presence.

I brace myself for another slap from her but what follows
is far worse than I could ever imagine. Sarah spits in my face and the hurt and
humiliation that follows actually stuns me for several seconds. I’ve never felt
so violated or abused and I hate myself for not being able to control the tear
rolling down my face. Knowing that she will take great delight in my suffering
is what keeps me from letting go of any more tears.

“You’re going to pay, bitch.” The cruel friend whispers in
my ear, still clasping my wrists behind my back, leaving me utterly
defenceless.

I’m abruptly pulled from my innermost thoughts when I hear
a voice. A glorious, heart-stopping voice I never thought I’d hear again.

“Sarah, don’t!” Jake yells, speeding over towards us.

She ignores him, still so intent on hurting me. She swings
her hand back, ready to slap me for a second time and I close my eyes,
anticipating the pain her strike will cause me. Hasn’t this girl done enough?
Is she not content with wrecking my life and breaking my heart?

The blow from Sarah doesn’t happen. Jake reaches her just
in time, wrapping his arms around her waist so he can drag her away from me.
She screams at him to let her go but he refuses to relinquish his hold on her.
She twists her body around to face him, clawing his face and screeching at the
top of her lungs. I struggle to free myself from her friend’s grasp, surprised
when she actually let’s me go.

Once Jake has pulled Sarah far enough away from me, he
abruptly lets her go and she tumbles to the ground. He ignores her, striding
over towards me with an enraged, violent look on his face.

“Step away from her. Now.” He growls threateningly,
speaking to Sarah’s friend behind me.

Sarah’s accomplice does as he asks and hurries back to the
house, leaving Sarah behind. I breathe a sigh of relief; the realisation that
Jake is now here and that I’m safe is a truly remarkable feeling.

Jake leaves no distance between us, taking in my
dishevelled, injured appearance. My hair is damp from the alcohol she poured over
me, my face stings from the scratches she gave and my scalp is tender and
bruised from her tugging on my hair. His face softens immediately when his eyes
absorb the damage she inflicted. His gaze is full of concern and sympathy,
making me even more furious that he didn’t reach me sooner.

“Baby, what the hell have they done to you?” He asks, his
voice full of anxiety and dismay.

 He tries to envelope me in his arms but I take a step
back, avoiding his embrace. He looks hurt and confused by my reaction but I’m
too angry and humiliated to feel anything but rage. He opens his mouth to say
something but is interrupted by the sound Sarah scrambling to her feet.

“
That’s
who you’ve chosen over me?” She mocks
contemptuously.

 People are now leaving Jake’s house and their
attention has become fixated on the three of us. However, none of them make
their way over here, it’s as though they’re aware of what might happen if they
do. Just like Sarah’s friend, they all seem to be fearful of Jake and what he
might do.

Jake whips around, fixing his ferocious stare upon Sarah.
It’s so full of hatred and contempt; she staggers backwards from the force of
it.

“Don’t even
think
about coming any closer. You stay away
from her, do you understand? I don’t want you anywhere near her ever again.”

He positions himself directly in front of me, shielding me
from her view. I glance down at myself and the state I’m in, despising the
decision I made to come here tonight. I’m not sure Jake and I will even be able
to recover from this. How will we even begin to get past it?

“Why are you protecting her? She’s nothing special, you
only have to look at her to see that and you don’t know what she said to me
about our baby.” She exclaims, pointing an accusatory finger in my direction.

I notice the tension in Jake’s body when she mentions the
baby and it’s in that moment I realise everything she’s told me tonight is
true. Jake angrily grabs hold of her arm, forcing it into an uncomfortable
position. She cries out in pain but he refuses to let her go.

“Shut. Your. Mouth” He growls, shaking her roughly.

“Jake, don’t.” I beg, wanting to stop him from doing
something he regrets.

I can’t stand to see him like this. This isn’t the boy I know
or the boy I love.

 “Jake, I told her about the miscarriage and do you
know what she said to me? She said that our baby had a lucky escape! She’s
cruel and she’s heartless, why do you still want her?”

I narrow my eyes at her, wondering what I ever did for her
to despise me so much. Her malice drips from her words like poison and I really
would be terrified of her if it weren’t for Jake being here to keep her from
me. Despite everything, I know he would never let her hurt me. He glances over
at me, doubt and uncertainty etched onto his face. It’s as though he can’t
quite believe I would say something like that and I start to worry that he’ll
take her side and hate me for the terrible thing I said. It was unforgivable
and I wish I could take it back but at the time it was fuelled by my jealousy
and anger for her despicable treatment of me.  

“Yes, I still want her. I’m in love with her; she’s who I
want to be with, over anybody or anything and certainly over you.” He speaks
decidedly, maintaining eye contact with her the entire time. There’s no hint of
doubt in his voice or in his manner.