Read Alpha Doms Box Set: 9 Delicious Stories + 10 Sexy Heroes = 19 Reasons to Indulge Online
Authors: Christin Lovell
Tags: #werewolf, #werewolves, #menage, #erotic romance, #gay erotica, #bbw, #mm, #mf, #plus size heroine
“
It’s easier not to.” Her
voice was barely above a whisper. Her guilt already had her looking
away.
I narrowed my eyes. “Don’t make me spank you
again.”
She fidgeted, her features drawing down. “I
know you deserve the truth, but-“
“
No buts. Tell me,” I
commanded.
“
Because they’re right!
Because I believe them, that’s why.” Her tears were back, hanging
in the shadows, ready to spill over at any moment.
My chest tightened at her admission. I
softened towards her. The need to comfort her overcame me, but I
held back. She needed tough love right now, not coddling. “Tell me
one good thing about yourself.”
She remained silent. After a minute, she
pushed her face into her upper right arm and closed her eyes.
My wolf roared. His patience was long gone,
but luckily mine wasn’t. My soul was rooting for her; my heart was
swelling as she finally opened up to me, as she finally shared a
part of herself with me.
“
Laina.” Her name was a
call to attention.
She went limp in my arms, giving in to
defeat.
She wasn’t allowed to ignore things any
more.
I released her right hip.
Angling back, I thrust a single finger into her depths. Her folds
encircled my finger, swallowing it deeper into her hot, wet
center.
Fuck!
She cried out, shooting up and tugging on
the restraints. Her eyes tore open meeting my angry glint before
she fell back down onto the bed.
“
Name one good thing about
yourself,” I demanded. Focusing on my mission rather than how
perfect she felt around my finger was difficult. I felt beads of
sweat dot my brow as the pressure in my groin intensified
unbearably.
She shivered beneath me.
Damn. She was a testament to my
determination.
I released her other hip and moved up and
over her. I swirled my finger around inside her as I came face to
face with her.
She bit back a moan.
“
Answer me.” I pressed my
lips together to keep from kissing her, to distract myself from how
close my cock was to exploding.
When she didn’t immediately respond, I slid
my finger to the hilt and thrust back inside her at the same time
that I swept my thumb across her clit.
She moaned, tilting her head back. Her chest
rose and fell in labored breaths. She was fighting it. She had to
know the truth inside, but didn’t think others would agree.
“
One. Good. Thing. Now.” I
bent my head and nipped her breast.
“
I care about the kids,”
she blurted as she lifted her hips into my movements
below.
Unable to hold back anymore, I captured her
lips. My entire body melted beneath the touch of her lips. They
were soft and pliable, easily molding to my own. Delight sprouted
from within at the fact that she was kissing me back.
I shook with pleasure, with excitement. My
wolf behaved for the first time in forever, sitting back
quietly.
I abandoned her pussy, cupping her face with
my hands. My thumbs spread across her cheeks. I was so damn proud
of her. I wanted to hold her; I wanted to kiss her, to love her
passionately forever.
My lungs struggled to expand, even as I
inhaled her with every intake. My heart pounded in my chest; my
pulse skipped about as my own needs flared to a new high.
I bunched my muscles, trying to hold back my
desire to claim her as I enjoyed the caress of her lips. There was
a delicate urgency to our connection. I pushed my tongue beyond her
lips, tasting her higher depth. The moment she swept her tongue
along my own, a fission of my tight control cracked.
I growled, pulling back against my will. At
the sight of her swollen, red lips, my entire body jolted. My wolf
returned with a fierce mutiny.
I didn’t bother to hide my desire for her; I
hadn’t for a while. This time, I allowed the yearning of me and my
wolf to blend, becoming one compelling, powerful plea.
Fuck! Was I really resorting to begging? God
damn it. I’d meant to empower her, not to give away my dignity.
I gazed into her emerald eyes. Fuck it.
Her brows creased as she stared at me. She
sniffed the air several times, but her expression was definitely
one of confusion. “You smell… different,” she stated hesitantly, as
if she was worried about hurting my feelings.
I pressed my nose against her neck, nuzzling
her. “It’s because we both want you so bad.”
“
Oh.” She sounded so
disappointed.
I drooped my head, closing my eyes for a
brief moment before I faced her again. I’d said I would let her go.
This was for her not me. She’d faced the truth. Her barriers had
been destroyed. She couldn’t hide anymore. I was confident that she
wouldn’t hide anymore, which meant it was time for me to give her
up.
My wolf slammed into me, making it hard to
breathe. His snarls boomed in my chest, vibrating my lungs and
shaking my bruised heart.
The pain hit me, freezing my bones. I forced
myself to move though. “You did good, sweetie.” I gave her a small
smile, but didn’t meet her gaze. I couldn’t look her in the eye
right now. It’d hurt too much.
I slid off the bed and grabbed the keys for
the handcuffs atop the dresser. Methodically, I freed her cute
feet. Fuck. Since when did I find feet cute? I sighed, immediately
admitting it to myself. When she came along. That’s when they
did.
I moved upwards and unlocked her wrists. At
the sight her of her chafed skin, I longed to rub ointment on them
as I kissed the tender flesh on the underside of her forearm. I
knew she wouldn’t allow me to though.
I quickly turned away from her. It took a
moment before she moved. She was probably sore.
Damn it. I tried to push her out of my mind,
but I couldn’t. She was embedded in me. She was supposed to be a
permanent part of me, but instead, I was letting her go. Why the
hell did I have to be so fucking chivalrous?
I grabbed the other keys from the dresser
and unlocked the door. With lead feet, I opened the door.
My wolf was going ballistic at this point.
My insides had never felt so raw, so destroyed.
I kept my gaze low. She wore her socks, but
not her shoes. Her clothes were back in place, covering the
luscious beauty I now knew for certain was beneath.
“
Um, what about my family?”
Her voice was soft. The mere sound of it drove a nail into my
heart.
“
Last I heard they were
heading for Buffalo, New York.”
Her heart beat irregularly, but her
breathing scarily normal. “I’ll be gone by tomorrow afternoon.”
Gone, damn it. She’d be gone! I clenched my
jaw, fighting the appeals I wanted so badly to verbalize.
I closed my eyes as she brushed past me. I
heard her pad down the stairs. The second she shut the front door
behind her, I slammed the bedroom door and locked it.
I screamed at the top of my lungs, thankful
for the soundproof insulation I’d insisted on.
My spirit wilted as agony broke me. I
collapsed to my knees, heaving. My heart ripped apart, breaking
with every bone in my body as my wolf broke free with a
vengeance.
—
Chapter Eleven
LAINA
Tears chased down my cheeks. My lungs
refused to expand, refused to work properly as I crumbled inwardly.
It felt like my entire world was collapsing.
I ran as fast as I could, but I couldn’t
outrun the truth anymore. He’d seen to it. He’d made sure that when
he shredded my heart that I could feel every smidgen of pain.
For four years, I’d kept him at a distance.
That distance allowed me to hold onto hope. That distance protected
my heart from this.
But now, he’d spelled things out in black
and white. He’d brought me to my knees only to leave me there. I
couldn’t blame him. I struggled to name one good thing about myself
for crying out loud. Who wanted a mate that had so few redeemable
qualities?
I burst through my front door and ran to my
room, locking myself inside. I sobbed openly. I didn’t care who
heard me. I didn’t care who knew anymore. They didn’t matter
anymore. None of their opinions mattered anymore.
I cried for hours, the truth of my past, the
reality of my present dragging my body through years worth of
drudge, through years worth of pent up hurt, draining me. The sun
began to slide behind the mountains, setting for the evening before
my eyes burned dry and my lungs expanded properly. It was when the
well had been emptied, when all I’d hidden was exposed and dealt
with in a fit of hot tears, that I could finally just rest.
The eternal ache was still there. He was my
mate. His absence would be a constant twinge. But the weight of my
past was gone; the weight of our mistakes was gone.
Leaving him was going to be the hardest
thing I’d ever done. Dare I admit, it would be even worse than
today. Walking away would solidify it. It would shred the last of
my hope, leaving me only with a stark, dreary reality.
I wanted to cry all over again at the
thought, but didn’t have it in me. Instead, I sought the dream
world, the place where me and Jayson could always be together.
—
Chapter Twelve
JAYSON
I stared blankly at Laina’s empty spot at
the table. Everyone ate silently around me, hyperaware of my sour
mood.
I didn’t bother to pretend in front of them.
I was angry; I was in pain and didn’t care who saw it.
My food sat untouched on the plate in front
of me, my hands were fisted in my lap and my gaze never left her
place.
I didn’t know how much time passed. I didn’t
care to know. All I knew was that I missed her like crazy. All I
cared about was her right now. Doing the right thing sucked. Being
the bigger man made me feel like less of a man. Even my wolf was
hanging low.
“
Jayson!”
I shook my head, focusing on Aaron’s voice.
“What?”
“
You’re scaring the shit
out of the pack. What the hell happened?”
I frowned, glancing around. I was shocked to
find the table was empty. It was just us.
I sighed, scrubbing my face.
“
Talk to me, bro.” His
concerned plea echoed through my mind.
“
I let her go.” The words
were thick in my mouth, deepening the black hole in my
chest.
“
Why?”
I cocked my head towards him. “What do you
mean ‘why?’”
His brows pulled together. “I understand
releasing her family, but why did you let your mate go?”
Looking at Aaron was like looking in a
mirror at a younger me; talking to him was like speaking the truth
aloud to myself. “Because she didn’t want me.”
“
Since when has that
stopped any male?”
I growled, my wolf rumbling to life. “I’m
done.” I shoved away from the table, the wooden chair scraping
along the hardwood floors.
Aaron abruptly stood. “Stop.” He grabbed my
upper arm. I glared down at his hand. He quickly moved it away.
“Listen, Jay, she isn’t many male werewolf’s ideal woman, but
clearly she’s yours. That bullshit about setting them free and
they’ll come back, yadda, yadda, is utter crap. If you want her,
claim her. Otherwise, you’re going to spend the rest of your life
in misery wishing you had.”
He sounded sincere, but after the shit he’d
said before, his words weren’t worth as much.
I looked him square in the eye. “Name one
good thing about her.”
His brows rose marginally. He shrugged his
shoulders. “She’s great with the kids.”
I pursed my lips. I was slightly amused by
the fact that Laina and Aaron had given me the same answer.
“Thanks.” I clapped his shoulder.
He nodded. “Go get her.”
I left him standing at the dining table,
watching me.
I quietly closed the front door behind me.
It was a clear, peaceful night out. The air had a crisp chill to
it. The cooler months were coming. Those were the months we spent
less time as a wolf and more time focusing on the pack’s
import/export business.
My wolf sat back, waiting, as I headed for
Laina’s house.
As I approached the homestead, I noted all
of the lights were off. I stopped, closing my eyes and honing in on
the sound of her. Her heartbeat was a slow but steady thump in the
distance. I could barely hear her breathing, but it indicated that
she was sleeping.
I shoved my hands inside my pant pockets.
The selfish part of me wanted to burst through the door and wake
her up so I could claim her, but I loved her too much to demand
that of her.
Before my wolf could lash out at me, I beat
him down. Feeling fully under control, I turned away and headed for
home. I’d come back tomorrow when she was rested.
—
Chapter Thirteen
LAINA
The sun woke me, its rays easily slipping
through the blinds over my window. With the sun, I immediately
thought of him and his sun-kissed skin. Fresh tears welled.
I rolled out of bed, trying to push them
down. I took a deep breath, gazing around my room, or rather, what
was my room through this afternoon.
I didn’t have much in here. The only
pictures on my walls were all handmade one-of-a-kind pieces from
the pack young. My heart swelled at the sight of their colorful
masterpieces. I would miss them. I knew they would move on and
adjust to someone new without a problem, but I would never forget
them.
One-by-one I began carefully removing them
and stacking them on my bed.
Next, I pulled out the only bag I owned. It
wouldn’t hold much, so I knew I’d have to discard a lot. My wolf
howled as I sorted through my small assortment for the best of the
lot. Her cry stilled me; the pain in her call sent chills through
me.