Almost Alive (27 page)

             
“Of course you didn’t.  He wasn’t even sure himself.  He was afraid that those other lowly demons that were inside of him were making him feel things for you so he would rush into intimacy.”  His finger trailed across my skin and everything inside me began to quiver.  “When they were exercised, he knew what he had for you was real.  He was afraid to tell you, because he doesn’t know if he can trust your feelings.  He doesn’t know if they’re real.”

             
His finger left my face, and I started to recover from how sick I felt.  “They’re real.  I know they are.”

             
“I know.  I can see it in your eyes.”  For some reason, he chuckled.

             
“And what would something like you know of love?” I seethed in disgust.

             
He looked amazed, and in turn, I was also amazed because I had somehow offended him.  “I used to have the truest, most powerful love that there can possibly be.  I loved God.”  As impossible as it seemed, he spoke with such a fragrant and powerful esteem.  It was stronger than any human could describe.  There was an entire sonnet hidden in every syllable that he spoke.  There were tales of a love deeper than the oceans’ depths and vaster than the universe itself.  He had seen the face of God, and it was incomparable.  “He was my beloved maker, the father of all, the greatest beauty in the universe.”

Then as great as his love was, it became something just as equally dark and twisted.  “
But then he made me a prison made out of fire and pain.  What kind of loving father would do something like that to his son?

“
Time only exists in this realm.  When you’re in hell, it feels like forever.  You might have only been dead for a few minutes, but a few minutes can feel like days.”  He smirked and began to place his hand on my forehead.  “Would you like to remember your time in hell?”

             
I could feel heat beginning to rise like the terrible flames that had consumed my soul.   Every inch of my body ached, and I prepared to scream as his hands closed in on me.  “Please don’t!”

             
He drew his hand away and laughed.  “It’s too bad that such a weak and useless demon crawled into your body with you.  If we had known you were coming, we could have picked out a more deserving demon.  However, you can make a good minion.  All you have to do is do exactly what I say.” 

             
I did not want him to think that I agreed, but Zariel was willing to do anything for Balthazar, and she kept my mouth quiet for the sake of her survival. 

Maria had finished her chant a
nd was readily awaiting orders from her boss.  Scott brought her a black case and set it down in front of her.  She opened it up and inside there were two needles, one clear and the other was red.  “What shall I do, Master?”

“
Use the red serum, Maria.  It will kill you.”

             
We accidentally locked eyes.  Maria was not as brave and as absolute in her resolve as she pretended to be.  She was alone, and an outcast, but she did not want to die.  She had too much that she loved and had too much fight left in her.  “Yes, Master.”

             
“No!”  I somehow made myself free and began running toward her.  “Maria, you can’t.”

             
I had offended Scott greatly, and he yanked my head back by my hair.  “Show some respect for your master!”

             
I saw the concern in Maria’s eyes, but she held her tongue.  I could understand if she was afraid to fight back, but she wasn’t.  I was just a spot on her conscious.  She felt righteous and justified in ruining her brother’s life and letting me become a slave.  Well, she sickened me!  I would no longer be a blind fool and let others be hurt by my decisions.  “You can’t control me!”

             
“Oh really?”  Balthazar raised his hand as a signal for Scott to stop and he quickly released me.  I think he was intrigued by my sudden boost of courage.  If he knew the things that Julian did, then he should have known that I was a coward.  Something must have changed, and he needed to know.  I needed to realize the reason myself.  “And why is that?”

             
And when I saw his eyes, I knew.  “Because I’m more afraid of losing Julian than of you!”

             
He threw his head back and laughed quietly, but hard.  “Love is a powerful motivation, but it’s nothing compared to me!  For example…”  He walked toward me, and I instantly felt something coming off of him.  It was similar to the lust spirit Maria had placed on me, except it was probably a hundred times worse.  My body was instantly drawn to him, and I met him halfway.  “…Even something as innocent as your feelings for Julian can be corrupted by lust.  I could make you forsake your beloved because you desire this body to touch yours.”

My hands slowly landed on his chest and began
to feel up to his shoulders, and I held him close to me.  I didn’t want to kiss him and rip all of his clothes off, but there was a deep desire in me to do exactly that.  I felt like my skin was burning to touch his.  It wasn’t long before my lips were mere centimeters from his.

             
“No!”  I managed to tear myself away.  The feeling was still there, but I couldn’t fall and fail Julian.  His life depended on it!  “I can resist you.  I have the power.”

             
He slightly glared, but then smirked.  “Enough to survive, but not enough to win.”

             
I felt my stomach collapsing in on itself, and I doubled over in pain.  I raised my head to see what he was doing, but the only motion he had made was clenching his fist.  “Julian?”  A stream of blood flooded out of my mouth and onto the floor.  I knew that I needed to be brave, but I was sure that he was killing me.  “Julian, you’re still in there.  I know you are.  Fight him!”

             
He tilted his head intrigued.  “What makes you think that Julian isn’t aware of everything that I’m doing?  How do you know he isn’t enjoying this kind of power?”

He clenched his fingers tighter
, and I screamed and fell to my knees.  It felt like my insides were burning.  “He would never do this to me!”

“Greed is powerful, Michelle.  Look at Maria.” 

She had already begun injecting the red serum into her veins.   She was trembling from her fear as she waited for it to take effect.  I hoped there was some kind of mistake or that she would have a miracle.  I couldn’t watch her die knowing what it would do to Julian. 

“She used to be an innocent little girl who loved her brother more than anything in the world.  Now she’s a selfish young woman who put a cluster of demons inside of him and is now killing herself so she can bend a spoon with her mind.
”  He shook his head and chuckled.  She was ridiculous, and he wasn’t going to bother to pretend otherwise.  “If that can happen to her, imagine all of the horrible things Julian can do.  Hell, think of all the things that he’s already done.”

He released his hand and the burning clawing came to an end, but I was still shaken.  One wrong word and he would destroy me.  But why should I have feared death?  I already lost my life.  I didn’t
have anything else to lose.  “I will stop you!”

I scanned the room and found Julian’s gun again.  Julian might have had more weapons hidden on him, but I would
have never been able to get to them before Balthazar snapped my neck.  The gun was my only option.  Balthazar could easily stop me, and Scott had proven to be supernaturally fast and powerful, but I had to go for it!  As soon as I could muster up enough strength, I ran and dove for the gun. 

Scott moved to stop me, but I had an action movie moment
, and as soon as I picked up the gun, I rolled over and then took aim at Julian’s heart.  Scott might have been transformed into a supernatural creature, but Julian was still human.  He feared what I could do to his master, and he was paralyzed in his position.

Amazingly, Balthazar never broke a sweat.  He never appeared concerned.  He just smirked and looked at me questionably. 
“You would kill the man you love?”

“If it came to that…
”  I heard the gun rattling and realized that my hands were shaking.  Balthazar snickered and began making another step toward me, but I forced myself to be still and then he remained where he was.  “Julian asked me to keep a promise.  I won’t have to though.  He’s coming back to me.”

“And how is he gonna do that?”
  He flung his hand across the room, and my body followed and hit the wall.  I screamed out in pain from my back, but I refused to let go of the gun, even when I landed hard on my ribs.  If I would have had the time, I would have laid there and cried, but Balthazar and Scott were coming at me.  I sat up and tried to scoot away, but there was nowhere for me to go.  I panicked and pointed the gun at Julian’s body.  I think Balthazar wanted me to do it.  He was smirking at me and daring me with his eyes.  “You had better act now,” he taunted.

My fingers gripped tighter and I closed my eyes afraid.  When it sounded off, I screamed
.  I kept trying to fire, but the gun only clicked and didn’t fire.  After nothing happened five times, I accepted that there were no more bullets and hesitantly opened up my eyes.  There was a bullet hole in Scott’s abdomen, but he was more annoyed than hurt. 

“On
e bullet left, and you wasted it?” Balthazar asked.  I swear a little bit of Julian came through to scold me.

Scott wiped the blood away
, and the wound closed like magic.  “Can I kill her?” he asked his master.

He had no hesitation
.  “Sure.  Go ahead.”

Scott had tha
t same creepy smirk that was much too big for his face, and I forgot how to run.  There was nowhere to go anyway.  I had to face my death or somehow find the strength to kill them.  I knew no such power lived inside of me, and after all my resisting had gotten me nowhere, it was time to take matters out of my hands. 

“God,
” I said awkwardly inside of my mind, “I know things are rocky between the two of us and I know I don’t deserve your help, but Julian needs you.”  Maybe Zariel was right, and I didn’t trust God.  Maybe I was bitter like Balthazar and the rest of the demons that had been sentenced to hell.  But if I chose to believe like Julian did, I didn’t have to be damned.  We could save each other.  “Please!”

I was frightened when he lunged at me
, and I pulled the trigger a few times on instinct.  Blood splatted everywhere and once I heard the first bang; my delusions encouraged me to keep firing.  Each invisible bullet that I fired stopped him for a moment, but I couldn’t knock him down.  Eventually, he growled and ran toward me, and I thought of every single zombie I had ever seen and aimed the gun at his head.  But then I remember my aim and pointed a little farther to the left, and when I pulled the trigger, he fell on his back.

Balthazar looked at Scott’s body carefully and seemed to have no remorse that Scott was dead. 
“That’s interesting.”  He reached out his hand and the gun that I had escaped and flew right to him.  He opened it up and saw that there were no bullets inside.  Then he looked on the floor and saw that there were no shells.  “You fired a gun with no bullets.  It looks like you’ve got yourself a genuine miracle, Michelle.” 

His eyes slowly crept up from the gun and glared at me while he wore that twisted and sadistic smile like a badge of honor. 
“Let’s see if the same works for me.” 

“No!” I screamed as he pointed and fired the gun, but nothing had happened other than a few clicks.  I was amazed.  God had given me a true miracle.

Balthazar sneered and tossed the gun across the room.  “Well, I guess I get to kill you the old fashioned way.”

He raised his hand to hurt me like he did before, but something was different.  I felt different.  I was stronger and self-assured, like a strange and unreasonable peace had come over me. 
I stood a little straighter and stuck my chest out.  When he clenched his fingers into a tight fist and nothing happened, I smirked.  “What’s wrong?  You out of juice?”

He was stuck in his position, gritting his teeth and vigorously shaking his tight arm until he looked exhausted.  Then suddenly, his eyes changed. 
“Michelle...?” 

I nearly ran into his arms.  “Julian!”
              “Stay away from me!” he warned, and I obeyed.  He was clearly in an excruciating amount of pain.  He was fighting with every nerve in his body that was loyal to the will of Balthazar.  “He’s too strong.  I can’t…”

I was so relieved though.  I was afraid I’d never be able to see his eyes
, and now that I could, I was filled with an unusual amount of optimism.  “Yes, you can.  You have the power.  You just have to resist.  You have to be strong.  I can’t lose you.  I love you, Julian.” 

I knew that my love might have been true and strong, but it was still a carnal thing.
  I might have given him inner strength to fight back, but we were fighting a supernatural battle.  I might not have been enough.  I had no choice but to concede to a higher power.  “God loves you too.”

Julian grew angry from the mention of God and Balthazar’s powers seeped through.