All That the Heart Desires (13 page)

He was gentle when he took me in his embrace again. His lips touched my forehead, my cheeks, and very slowly he moved down my throat to my collarbone. His kisses were stopped only by the neckline of my shirt.

When he moved away from me I instinctively knew what would happen next. He looked into my eyes and I became breathless. All those kisses left an indelible trace on my skin and on my mind. His hands left mine and he began to unbutton my shirt.

His movements were slow, deliberate and passionate. I felt his fingers trembling as he undid each button. His eyes never left mine. Slowly, he removed my shirt and his big hands were gentle, like a feather on my skin. When my shirt fell to the floor, I stood in front of him in my white lacy bra. He continued to stare deeply into my eyes.

His breathing was deep and I knew he was having a hard time controlling himself and his actions. I realised then he was afraid he would frighten me.

However, I was far from being scared. I trembled like a leaf, that was true, but I trembled out of expectation and the anticipation of what was waiting for me. I trembled out of desire. I wanted him and I needed him badly.

I realised I must do something, otherwise I would be consumed by the fire he had ignited in me. I needed to break the spell somehow, so I took his hands and put them on my breasts. At the mere touch of his hands, my legs began to weaken, unable to support me anymore. Without his lightening quick reaction, I would have fallen to the floor.

He helped me steady myself. A moment later, I was in his arms and his lips were again on my neck. His hands started to slide down my body, leaving hot traces on my bare skin. I felt the fabric of my skirt being slowly pulled up and soon I felt them on the bare skin of my thighs. The feeling was good and it somehow felt natural for his hands to be there.

I kissed his shoulders, adding more fuel to his fiery passion. But this felt so right.

My skirt fell to the floor and his hands were on my hips again, barely touching me. All those emotions were consuming me like a savannah fire. Before I knew it, my lacy bra followed the skirt. My breasts were touching his chest and my nipples hardened against his chest hair.

Lorcan’s breathing became heavy again. He was just as close to eruption as I was. We needed to slow down and I was not sure how we would manage to steady the wild flames of desire. My body responded too much to his with all the emotions I had for him; from hate to love and passion.

He moved away a little, far enough to be able to touch me. He began to caress my nipples. My body arched back and my head tilted. I was standing before him only in my lacy silky knickers.

I was breathing hard and a short cry escaped from my mouth when he moved his hand from my nipple and replaced it with his tongue. I wasn’t sure how I could survive the intensity of the feelings he aroused in me. My breathing was short and sharp. I was holding his shoulders as if I was trying to save myself from drowning. The ecstasy was almost unbearable. On the one hand I wanted him to stop, on the other I wanted him to continue.

“What are you doing to me?” I heard him say. Those were the first words he’d spoken after I’d run into his arms. When I opened my eyes, he smiled. I wasn’t sure, but whatever it was, he was doing the same to me. He must have known that.

He lifted me in his arms and out of my shoes as if I was a feather. My high heels stayed on the floor where I’d been standing.

When he was sure I was safe in his arms, he bent down and kissed me again. I held his neck tightly. It would have been impossible to hold him any tighter. At that moment I hoped this would never end, that it would last forever. I didn’t know where he was carrying me, nor did I care. I was with him and that was enough.

His mouth possessed mine and his tongue searched inside. Soon we were in his bedroom and he laid me on the bed. I didn’t care where we were. For me it would have been enough if he had dragged me onto the floor behind his couch.

He kneeled beside the bed, watching me. The passion in his eyes was as intense as before, if not hotter. His eyes were sparkling. The hunger within him was on his face. It became tense, his features more distinctive.

Without words, he understood my outstretched arms. Slowly, he rose and joined me on the bed. His hands were all over me with his lips following the trail of his hands. I tried to return his kisses but was trapped under his body. Although he still wore his jeans, I felt the muscles of his legs through the fabric. I had no difficulty imagining what else was hidden underneath those jeans.

Slowly, but with no possibility of me resisting, he lifted my arms over my head and held them there with his right hand, while his lips found their way back to my breasts and his left hand played with the edge of my knickers. Every one of his movements made my body shudder almost uncontrollably.

My body was still trembling but I somehow managed to get my hands free of his grip. Slowly they found their own way down. I needed to feel him under my fingertips. My hands travelled from his shoulders, over strong arms to his narrow waist. I decided it was time to get him out of his jeans.

I never thought about what my touch did to him, yet he was trembling when I finally found what I was looking for. But it was impossible for my tiny hands to get between our bodies.

He soon realised my intentions and gently stopped my attempts to get him out of his tight pants. He turned onto his right side and in no time was completely naked.

He wanted to move back over me, but I wanted to see him in his glorious entirety! I heard a sharp intake of breath, as I gently pushed him away and onto his back. He was laying there as I had not long ago and I let myself admire what I saw. He was already aroused and hard. I surprised myself as I took matters into my own hands. Somehow I felt it was the right thing to do.

“You are so beautiful,” I heard myself saying, and at the same time my fingers moved smoothly over the muscles on his chest. If I ever doubted his physical perfection, I had proof in my hands. He was truly perfect. Even more than I expected. My fingers teasing him soon became too much for him to bear.

He took my hand and led it to the point of his arousal. I watched his face as my hands clenched around him. He seemed electrified by my touch. All he could do was close his eyes. I played with sparks and a barrel of gunpowder. Holding him in my hands seemed to ignite a fire within him and I knew he was trying hard to resist the release his body demanded.

Suddenly he lifted me from the bed and turned me over. His lips were seeking mine. His kiss was deep and full of passion. I was starting to lose myself in him. It was incredible. I barely noticed when I lost my last piece of clothing. His hands were slowly touching every part of my body. Searching. Making me feel desirable.

I was at the edge of my sanity when I felt his mouth between my legs. It was something I was not prepared for. I arched my back; my eyes wide open with surprise.

“My god,” I sighed. He lifted his head and smiled mischievously.

“Can I?” he asked me in a whisper, but I was unable to answer. He leaned back down. Feeling his lips on the inner side of my thighs and only a few moments later feeling his tongue discovering the hidden core of my whole being … I was lost. All I was able to do was bury my hands in his black hair and hold on tight. My mind was blank.

Very slowly my world returned to a semi-normal state and I felt his hands caressing my face. Opening my eyes, I saw that he was watching me, the expression on his face one of pure desire. It was a look I hadn’t seen from anyone in such a long time.

He bent and slowly kissed me, covering my body with his own. I felt him with every inch of my skin. He was still hard. Somehow he had managed to restrain himself.

“I want you…” I heard his whisper in my ear. “You cannot even imagine how much.”

“I’m here,” I answered. Very slowly he moved between my legs and with a single thrust he was deep inside me. We fit together like we were meant to be. Like destiny had made us just for each other.

Opening my eyes, I knew that he was enjoying the ride as much as I was. We watched each other and somehow matched our breathing. He bent to kiss me again and I was lost with every thrust.

“I feel you. This is so good,” he whispered, just before he closed my mouth with his kiss again. I couldn’t respond. It was all too much. The flames he started were eating me alive, yet I felt more life in my veins than ever before.

My world collapsed only to be rebuilt again. He had brought me back to the brink of desire. I heard the shriek leave my mouth and I twisted my body in the moment of my release. With my last moment of clarity, I saw him reaching his own release and join me in perfection. The flames in us were dying down to a smouldering ember.

I didn’t know how much time had passed when I felt his eyes on me again. Slowly I opened mine and saw him lying beside me, looking at me. Smiling. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, and then he buried his face in my hair that had spilled onto the pillow. I felt his weight on me, but it felt good.

“When did you realise I was the one on Grand Corniché?”

He lifted his upper body and looked at me.

“Actually, somehow I subconsciously knew from that first time I came into the perfumery, but your disguise was … is incredible. On Saturday I was sure. You were fighting me the same way as you had that evening on Grand Corniche. And you smelled the same. It couldn’t be just coincidence. No two people smell the same.”

All I could do was smile.

“What?” he asked.

“Well, if you ever leave Formula 1, you can always get a job in my perfumery. Good noses are hard to find.”

He was caressing my face and slowly I turned around, finding my place in his arms.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said.

It was the middle of the night when I woke up. For a moment I didn’t know where I was. A strong arm was holding me and I heard peaceful breathing beside me. Noticing my nakedness, which was only covered by a thin Egyptian cotton sheet, I recalled the events that had brought me here.

Careful not to waken him, I slipped out from under his right arm. Only then did I see the tattoo; a sort of Celtic knot. As I was picking up my shoes, I was once again astonished by the view the apartment offered. Monaco was sparkling.

It startled me a little bit when I felt strong arms around me. I’d not heard him coming in. He leaned me back against his chest and gently put his chin on my head.

“Where are you going?” he quietly asked me. There was a catch in his voice.

“Home,” I answered.

“But…,” I slipped out of his embrace and faced him, putting my finger on his lips to silence him.

“I must,” I insisted.

“Desiree…” he said, but I shook my head.

“Why don’t you stay?” he asked again, waiting for me to answer. I was tempted. Really tempted. Seeing him without his clothes was something I would never get tired of. But the reality was there again and I couldn’t chase it away any more.

I kissed him. That was all I could do. To feel him against my lips one more time.

“No. I can’t,” I said and left him standing by the window.

“You’re running away from me. Again.” I looked at him. The light from the city lit his eyes. Was there really sadness in them?

“I’m not running away.”

“I will come to the boutique this afternoon. Will you wait for me? We really need to talk.”

I nodded. He leaned forward and kissed me deeply.

Once the kiss was over, I knew I had to leave. I could feel his eyes on my back as I headed to the door. He spoke.

“You’re more than an adventure.”

The door closed behind me. I ran to the elevator and sighed with relief when I saw it was already there. If I’d had to wait, I’m not sure I wouldn’t have run back to the apartment.

Arriving at the car, I instinctively looked up. Somehow I knew he was standing on the terrace, watching me. I turned the key and drove away.

Thinking back to the last man I’d given my heart to, I realised that even Juan had never shown me so much passion. I had made the relationship into some sort of fairy-tale. Whether it had been his intention to get me pregnant was irrelevant. That he was behind the kidnap, of my baby, I was more than 100% sure.

It was close to two o’clock in the morning when I finally arrived home. The street was in darkness and silent. I parked my car and went into the house. I was tired and full of emotions I had thought I was immune to. Unable to deal with these emotions, I went straight to my bed and seconds later was deeply asleep.