All Roads Lead Home (13 page)

“Everything. After you dropped me off, I ran into Shane, his father, and Mr. Parrish. Needless to say, not everyone was happy to see me. Shane basically told me off, and then his father overheard him being rude and made him apologize to me. Yeah, that went over well. Mr. Parrish was over the moon to see me and believes I am the answer to Jagger waking up. Why Wendy? Why me?”

“It’s simple.”

“Simple, you say. Okay, why is it simple?”

“I say simple, because it is. That boy, now a man, loves you. You love him, and love is the strongest emotion in the world. It’s more powerful than anything else, and yes, it can heal a broken heart. You, baby girl, need healing, and so does Jagger and Shane. Begin with Jagger, and the rest will fall into place.”

“Wendy, even if I choose to believe you, it’s too late for Jagger and me. It’s been five years without each other, and it didn’t end well for us. How can any of you expect me to just take back what I destroyed in the first place?”

“Love makes it alright for you to be here. Love makes it okay for you to take back Jagger and reclaim what you believe you don’t deserve. Everyone seems to get this, but you. Even your beloved brother Jamie knew this.”

“Please Wendy, don’t use Jamie’s memory to get what you want. You already did that, and I’m here back in Wyoming. You don’t get anything more than that.”

“I’m sorry if you feel that’s what I’m doing, but I can assure you that I’m not. I’m your friend, and I love you.”

“You love me? Is that why you believe that my life is empty? Before you say anything, I was listening to you and my parents’ conversation. For the record, my life is not empty. I just took a different road, and it led me to New York doing what I love to do. I’m a very good lawyer.”

“That may be true, but at what cost? Is your career worth your life?”

“You know about the car bomb?”

“Um, yes I do and so do your parents and Jagger. What were you thinking going up against known mobsters?”

“Wendy, that is just what the press played out for the public to believe. Exaggerated headlines sell papers. Yes, they were connected, but I have no concrete proof how deep they were in and what crime families they answer to.” I lied, but only because I didn’t want to cause anymore worry for Wendy, or my family. “Obviously I’m fine and the case carried on, and I won.”

“You won. That’s wonderful for you, Tenley, but what about next time? What if the stakes are raised higher? Will you once again put yourself at risk for a case? Or just to win?”

“Not every case I take is dangerous. This was my first one. I’m sure I won’t be taking on anything even remotely related to this one, so please stop worrying about me.”

“Can we please stop worrying about ‘my so-called empty life’ and start talking about Jagger? Why do you believe he still wants me after all of this time?”

“You’re going to have to trust me. He will explain it all to you when he wakes up.”

“Perfect. Yeah, after my magical kiss awakens him from his slumber. Thanks a lot, good old friend, but I think I’m ready to visit with him.”

“Don’t be cross with me, Tumbleweed. I love you, and I’m trying to help you.”

“Yeah, you’ve said that.” I was angry. She touched on a nerve that I didn’t like. My life is my own, and to sit here and have to justify it to Wendy, of all people? Makes me angry. So of course, I let my mouth run her over like a freight train.

“You know dear friend, maybe you should try loving me a little less and focus on your own life and leave my life to me. It’s worked out great so far for me, okay?”

Wendy being Wendy, she shook her head and gave me a little shrug. How those mannerisms irked me to no end. She knew it, and I still was affected by it.

She gave me a hug and whispered in my ear. “I think you need to work on your litigator skills. You are trying too hard to convince me how happy you are. You keep telling yourself the same old line and maybe you’ll believe it. I’ll see you later, Tumbleweed.”

She turned and left me standing there. That went well. My coffee now cold, I tossed it into the trash. I still didn’t have all the answers to my questions, but it was time to go to the source. I had to see Jagger for myself. I hurt him so badly with sleeping with Shane, and then rejecting him not once, but twice.
How is he not hogtied and married by now and with children? He’s the whole package, and yet they all want me to believe that he’s been waiting for me to return to him?

This is crazy! My head is beginning to throb with beating my brain to death with my anxiety. I’m back here again. I’m in front of his door, but this time I go in. He’s not alone. A nurse is with him.

“Hi,” I say as I continue to enter further into the room. “Is it okay if I visit for a while?”

“Of course you can, darling. I’m all through here with Mr. Brown Eyes. I was just changing his medicine bags. I’m Shirley, and you are…?” she welcomingly asked me.

“I’m Tenley Fairchild, an old friend.”

“Nice to meet you. Have a seat and take all the time you need with him. Talk to him, they say it helps.”

“Thank you.” I barely get out before my tears begin to fall again.

“Are you sure you’re okay, sweetheart? Can I get you anything? Water or juice perhaps?”

“No thank you, ma’am, I’m fine. This is really hard for me, um, to see him this way. I’m not sure what to do.”

“It’s easy honey, just pull up a chair, hold his hand, and simply talk to him. He’s breathing on his own. He’s just being a bit stubborn at the moment by staying asleep. The better looking they are, the more attention they crave. Mr. Brown Eyes over here is doing just that, but I’ll play along. He’ll be alright. He just needs a little help and the good Lord above.” She smiled warmly at me.”

“You seem pretty certain that’s all it will take to wake him from his slumber.”

“Well, you see, honey, I’ve been a nurse for twenty seven years now, and believe me, I’ve seen a lot worse than Mr. Brown Eyes. Medically he’s stable. His injuries are on the mend, but maybe he’s just not ready to wake up and greet the day yet. Maybe, just maybe, he’s been waiting for you. Only one way to find out is for you to talk to him.”

“Thank you, Shirley. I feel a little better, and I will talk to him.”

“Good for you. I’ll be around if you need me.”

“Shirley, may I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“How did you know Jagger has brown eyes if he hasn’t woken up yet?”

“Just a hunch darling, just a hunch.”

She happily walked away, and I found myself smiling. Jagger did have amazing panty dropping brown eyes. They were deep brown, and some days I actually thought they sparkled. I said a silent prayer to Jamie in heaven. He seems to be behind the ruse of getting me here, so I just hope he is truly watching me now and will give me the strength I need to get through this, not only for me, but for Jagger too.

I quietly walked in and heard the beeps coming from the sensors hooked up to Jagger. His hair was longer, almost to the edge of his neck. Beautifully messy, the way I always liked it. His beard is grown in, but not
Duck Dynasty
like. Either the nurses or his father must be grooming him. As I get closer, I can see cuts and abrasions along his cheek and jawline. His broken leg was raised off the mattress in a support harness. You can tell his ribs were still wrapped through the thin hospital gown. And then my eyes found what I was looking for…his tattoo. I somehow convinced myself that he hated me and would probably have it removed, but he didn’t. I was happy to know a part of me was still with Jagger. I carefully pulled down his gown over his heart, and that’s where I saw my name.
“Ten, My love…my world.”

Tears were beckoning once again, but I let them fall. Here was the man who I loved more than I loved myself. I know it sounded selfish choosing my career over him, but I thought I was doing right by him by leaving.
I own my hurt. I own my betrayal. I suffer through my pain because it’s what I feel I deserve. Was I wrong all of these years? Distancing myself from my family, and Jagger? I miss Zoey and Tommy. I need my crazy friends to help me get through this, but then again, I’m not too sure Tommy would be all so willing to lend advice to the woman who practically used him for some quick comfort. He said we were okay, but I’m still not convinced.

Jagger was beyond handsome. He seriously belonged on a cover of a magazine. Even in his current state, he looked amazing. His arms were as thick as my legs. His body is layered on top of layers with muscles. You don’t get this kind of body by working out in a gym, you get it by working a ranch. Unless you live the life of a true country cowboy, no one could understand all the hours it takes to keep it running. Jagger is incredibly strong in body and in mind. He has to be okay. I wanted to touch him, feel him breathe, and smell him. I was already beginning to lose my senses being this close to him again. Even in a coma, Jagger still had the ability to rouse a physical reaction from me.

I leaned in as close as I could and laid my head onto his rising chest. His breathing was steady and strong. I closed my eyes and imagined him holding me in his strong arms. I loved being wrapped around his body, especially the nights we made love under the stars. I raised my head and shrugged off those delicious memories of us. Pulling up a chair, I sat and held his hand in mine. His hands were so calloused and rough to the touch. I placed a gentle kiss on each of his knuckles and placed my cheek down on his hand.

“I’m here, Jagger. I’m home. I’m not sure if you even want me here, but Wendy and your father seem to think I am the answer to their prayers. Do you remember how the story goes? Sleeping Beauty is in a deep sleep while she waits for her prince to awaken her. His magical kiss breaks the curse, and they live happily ever after. Now in our story, you are the princely cowboy, and I’m not too sure I’m your princess, but let’s go with friend for now. So like I was saying, I’m here to get you to wake up.”

I continued, “Oh Jagger, I wish I had magical powers to wake you, but I’m just me. Although I can yield some power in the courtroom, I doubt I can do the same here with you. If I truly had magic, then Jamie would have lived, but that’s not how our story turned out. I guess because you’re sleeping, you really don’t have much say in what I say right now. So I’ll give you a ‘this is your life,’ and if you wake up, then by all means, say what you want. The sound of your voice, no matter what the tone, will be amazing to hear. I need you to wake up, Jagger. Your father needs you. You should have seen the look in his eyes when he saw me. I saw so many emotions grace his face, but the one thing that stood out was hope. How come everyone around me has it all figured out, but me?”

I ran my fingers along his jaw, his beard was coarse. I said, “Jagger, I’m sorry I hurt you by leaving. I believed by leaving it would somehow bring you peace in the long run. I did a foolish act with Shane. I knew it that night but still made a reckless decision that changed my life—our life—together. Shane having feelings for me was the last thing I ever expected him to say. Was I so deeply in love with you that I totally missed what was right in front of me? I guess so, because I never knew.”

“He sure is angry with me now. His reception of my arrival was less than warm, it was downright cold. Not sure what I was expecting, but it sure as hell wasn’t that. Jagger, please wake up. Open your eyes. Your nurse calls you ‘Mr. Brown Eyes,’ did you know that? I’m told coma patients can hear beyond their slumber, so if that’s true, then make sure you bat your beautiful eyes at Shirley when you do wake. I think she may have a crush on you. It’s so easy to love you, and I’m so sorry for not loving you enough. I was wrong Jagger, and I’m sorry. Please wake up.”

It was late, and I was beginning to get hungry and tired. Shirley came in a few times to check his vitals and then let us be. He was lying here so still. I couldn’t help but think of Jamie. There were times when I didn’t know if Jamie was breathing, he was so still. I would shake him awake and then he would look at me like I was crazy. I almost wanted to shake Jagger, but I stopped myself, so I did the only thing I could do…I kissed him.

Ever so gently, I held his face and leaned in to place a chaste kiss upon his lips. I pushed away his hair off his forehead and kissed him there as well.

“Now, my sleeping cowboy, I don’t expect you to suddenly wake from my kiss, but I pray you feel the warmth of it and know that I’m here.”

“I’m so scared, Jagger. You need to wake up.”

One more kiss to his lips and then I turned to leave. I watched for any signs of movement, but he remained still with his chest rising up and down.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” I said.

I knew for certain I could not return to New York until I knew Jagger would be okay, but would
I
ever be?

BY THE TIME I left the hospital, the sun had set over the Teton’s, and my stomach was grumbling something fierce. Other than breakfast and my earlier snack and coffee, I was ravenous for dinner.

I elected not to call the ranch or Wendy for a ride. I rented a Ford F-150 to take me to my father’s ranch. Only in Wyoming, you can rent a truck. I had my share to choose from, but I’m sure my father would want me to drive something strong enough to get through the unpredictable Wyoming weather.