All My Life (25 page)

The orchestra was playing the theme from All My Children, so I figured it must have been me after all. It was all very confusing because I wasn’t sure what was happening. Just as I started to walk onto the stage, I saw Susan Flannery making her way up the steps and her cast mates standing and applauding. That’s when I knew I wasn’t the winner. Thank God I stopped before I got too far onstage. I literally froze in my tracks and all but moonwalked back behind the curtain, hoping and praying that no one saw my mistake. I felt terrible for Susan because the show had cued the wrong music for her as she made her walk from her seat to the stage. Still, I know the joy she must have felt to accept that award and I was very happy for her win.

No conversation about the Emmys would be complete without talking about all of the spoofs over the years regarding my many nominations and losses. A girl must keep a sense of humor about these things, right?

When Sweet One sugar substitute offered me the opportunity to do a commercial for their product in 1989, their concept was intended to portray me as the opposite of my usual self, while throwing a typical “Erica” tantrum. Even though we actually shot the commercial after my tenth Emmy nomination and loss, the producer presented an idea to me while we were filming that I thought was funny. It was suggested that I act as if I had lost an eleventh or twelfth time, too. Caught up in the humor of it all, I ad-libbed the line “Eleven years without an Emmy! What does a person have to do around here to get an Emmy?” It turned out the Sweet One people and the producer liked it and wanted to keep it in the final cut. Of course, I had no idea my stab at comedy would actually be a premonition of what was to come. As you know by now, I didn’t win that Emmy for several more years. But when I did…yes, it was a slice of heaven to finally take home that gorgeous trophy.

On October 6, 1990, I embarked upon one of the scariest and funniest experiences of my life; I hosted Saturday Night Live. Even then, I was aware I was working with one of the best casts in the history of the show.

Doing Saturday Night Live was absolutely fantastic. The cast and crew were great to work with. Everyone there was very funny and superkind. I didn’t mind poking fun at myself or at Erica. Let’s face it, there were a lot of people in addition to the folks at SNL who were having fun at both my character’s and my expense over the whole Emmy thing, so why shouldn’t I? All of the late-night comedians were having a field day telling “Susan Lucci” jokes that pertained to my not winning. The expression pulling a Susan Lucci actually became part of our nation’s vernacular for a while. There have even been a number of songs inspired by Erica Kane. The alternative rock band Urge Overkill wrote one called “Erica Kane” which talks about another Emmy passing her by. The late singer Aaliyah recorded a song called “Erica Kane” which was released after her tragic and unexpected death on her album I Care 4 U. And the band B5 also recorded a song about Erica Kane entitled “Erika Cain.” The song talks about how the singer is in a relationship with a beautiful girl, but she is crazy. B5 contacted All My Children’s producers about doing a cameo on the show and ultimately appeared in the April 25, 2008, episode as activists rallying for Erica’s release from prison.

What’s a girl to do when something like this continues to grow? As the age-old saying goes, “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em,” right?

The Inner Sanctum

Everywhere I go, people want to know what a typical day on the set of All My Children is really like. How long does it take me to get ready? What time do I have to go to work? What color lipstick do I wear? How long does it take to do a scene or tape an entire show? Who picks out my wardrobe? These types of questions are so common from fans that I thought it might be interesting to take you on a backstage tour of what it’s like to go from Susan to Erica.

When we first started shooting All My Children, the show was actually shot in sequence. We would do a table read, a run-through and dress rehearsal, and then we would tape. I have no idea how we got our hair and makeup done at the time because we were running around the studio like crazy people. If you had a minute and a half, you might be able to duck into the hair and makeup room, but there were no guarantees, which meant we’d tape looking “as is.”

If I had only half a blowout done by the time they called me to the studio floor for rehearsal, that was how I went to the set. We’d usually have to wet it down and start all over again before taping, with the hope there might be enough time to get it done right.

The hair and makeup room is really the inner sanctum of any show. It is a place of privacy and safety for people. It’s where we can share secrets, bad jokes, and funny stories, and tackle every possible topic under the sun, from politics to relationships. People say the funniest things, which I don’t feel right actually repeating, but there have been lots of times I wished I had a tape recorder to capture some of these humorous conversations. Every time an announcement is made over the PA, there is a quick witty response from someone in the room. Hands down, the funniest person I ever shared the hair and makeup room with was Kelly Ripa. She is a natural-born stand-up comedienne. I loved the years she spent on our show. She is such a talented woman, who has found her calling in life by entertaining people daily.

My typical day starts early. I am up at four-thirty in the morning. Glamour, glamour, glamour! Believe me, I am not looking so glamorous at this hour.

I get up that early so I can exercise before I have to be at the studio, usually by six or seven. I make the time to do Pilates each day so I can stay fit and feel good about myself. I remember reading a front-page article in the New York Times many years ago that talked about how important exercise is for women’s health. I took that information to heart and that was when my commitment to keeping fit really started. I wasn’t even sure how I was going to work exercise into my schedule between raising my children, working, and juggling other projects, but I knew there had to be a way.

I wanted to exercise, but I didn’t want to bulk up. I worked near Lincoln Center for so many years and saw all of the ballerinas and dancers, not to mention Victoria’s Secret–looking models who strolled along Columbus Avenue and Broadway on a regular basis. I loved how their bodies looked so long and lean. I knew what I wanted to accomplish, but I didn’t know how to get there, so I found Christine Fee, a knowledgeable and experienced personal trainer and someone who has become one of my closest friends. I asked her to help me define a workout that was right for my bone structure and needs.

I knew about Pilates from friends who were dancers, but I had never done it. I knew that it was a way to tone and strengthen your core. That was what I was after. Chris and I started a workout regime that incorporated the Pilates method, which I loved. I suddenly felt so much better. As an added benefit, the exercise was releasing any kind of stress my body was carrying. My only regret was not finding out about it sooner.

Years later, I worked with a team of experts at Guthy-Renker, the top infomercial company in the business, to become the spokes-woman for a fitness system called Malibu Pilates, which adds cardio training to a Pilates workout. With Malibu Pilates, you’re off the floor, off a mat, and onto a cushioned bench. You still do traditional Pilates moves that will stretch, tone, and sculpt your body while burning more calories by involving cardiovascular aspects through the pedals and springs that can be adjusted on the Malibu Pilates chair. You can get your heart rate up and burn more fat at the same time by doing a cardio blast.

I do twenty to thirty minutes of Malibu Pilates in the morning before I move on with the rest of my day. Once I’ve worked out, I eat breakfast, have a second cup of coffee, and I’m off to the studio. I usually spend somewhere in the neighborhood of ninety minutes to two hours getting prepped before my actual call time. Men have it so much easier than the women at All My Children. They are in and out of their chairs in about fifteen minutes—tops. They can roll into the studio twenty minutes before a scene, get prepped, dressed, and make their scene happen all within an hour. I cannot even fathom what that would be like. Erica is such a glamour girl, there’s no getting around the time it takes to transform me into the woman you all see on-screen.

Over the years, my makeup artists have always commented on how youthful my skin looks. Although I’ve never been shy about divulging my age, people don’t seem to ask all that often, so I haven’t made it a point to shout it out to the world. If someone wanted to know my age and I were to answer quickly, I’d say thirty-seven or thirty-eight because that is how I feel. The truth is, I am older than Oprah and younger than Cher—barely—and, incidentally, I adore both of these women.

Never just throw up your hands and say, “Oh well. Now I’m just this or that!”

I turned sixty and became a grandmother on the same day. Each one of those labels separately can be shocking as you go along through life, but when they arrive on your doorstep as a two-for-one special, it can take your breath away. I love being a grandmother; it’s the label I am not crazy about. I’ve never been one who has embraced labels—and, as you now know, I almost forfeited graduating from college as a result of that principle. When I turned sixty, I worried there would be all types of labels placed on me because I had gotten to a stage of life when many people slow down. I was never that kind of woman.

I’m all for never throwing up your hands and saying, “Oh well, I’m of a certain age now, so it’s okay if I gain weight, can’t take care of my skin, can’t remember anything anymore, and so on.” I don’t believe in that type of thinking. Never have—never will. We’re all given a certain genetic makeup. All we can do is try to live our lives and do the best we can.

Whenever the ladies of All My Children are gathered in the makeup room, we usually get to talking about our health, skin, and the latest and greatest happenings in dermatology. Sometimes I listen to the other women talk and wonder, Where have I been? Why don’t I know about some of this? I was fascinated to discover that the twentysomethings in the cast are just as interested in talking about these subjects as the older women on the show. There’s no better place to swap information than the makeup room at All My Children!

I was twenty-eight years old when I had my first makeup-and-skin moment. I looked in the mirror one day and thought to myself, My skin looks good today. If I take care of it, I won’t look old by tomorrow. You have to take care of your skin every day, just as you have to take care of your body, mind, and spirit. Tomorrow is another today. Knowing that, I wear sunblock every day, and make sure I wash my makeup off every single night. One of my main rules for good skin care is to remember that no matter how good that party was, take off your makeup before you go to sleep! You will do your skin the greatest favor and, in the end, will find yourself looking healthier and fresher for it.

I went to a luncheon several years ago with about twenty women to celebrate the holiday season. The ages at the table ranged from early twenties to late seventies, with several of my contemporaries thrown in for good measure. The conversation turned toward a procedure called microdermabrasion. Microdermabrasion is a noninvasive mechanical exfoliation treatment that removes the outermost layer of dead skin cells on the face, chest, neck, or anywhere on the body. At the time it was a procedure done only by trained skincare professionals using a mechanical medium for exfoliation, such as crystals, diamond tips, or bristle tips along with a vacuum to sweep away the dead skin. It is also known to help with circulation. I was intrigued listening to the other women talk about this procedure, as it was something I had never heard about, but thought sounded wonderful.

Shortly after that luncheon, I met a woman in California who was a little bit older than I am who told me that she goes to the dermatologist who invented the procedure. She looked fabulous, but after doing some due diligence, I discovered that for microdermabrasion to be fully effective, it requires seven or eight consecutive monthly visits. I didn’t have that luxury of time with my schedule. Plus, I worried that the machine might be too abrasive for my sensitive skin. I don’t know for sure if this was the case because I had never tried it, but it certainly was my perception.

Not long after the word microdermabrasion entered my life, I was approached by Guthy-Renker to partner with them on a new at-home microdermabrasion product called Youthful Essence. I was aware of the company’s great reputation, so I knew I would certainly be in good hands and that I’d be working with people who have integrity. Having done so much research on my own, I was very excited about this opportunity. Before I could commit, though, I wanted to do my own testing by using the product at home. I had too good of a relationship with my audience to tell them that something works if it doesn’t. I had been approached to do other skincare lines in the past, but the samples people sent me didn’t meet my expectations, so I declined those opportunities.

People have written to me for many years asking questions about my personal style, my grooming regimen, and the products I wear and use on-screen and off. Prior to electronic media, my husband came up with the idea of launching a phone-in number that fans could call for answers to many of the most frequently asked questions. For example, if you wanted to know what fragrance I wear, you’d press 1. What hair products I use, you’d press 2, and so on.

It was around this same time that someone came to us with an opportunity to become involved with a line of shampoo, conditioner, and other products. I was on a movie set shooting The Bride in Black, in Pittsburgh, when the care package of products arrived. In the first part of the movie, I played a girl working in a deli. It was not a glamour-girl part. My hair was going to be au naturel during these scenes, so I thought it seemed like a great time to give those products a try. If they could make my hair look good for those scenes, I’d be sold. It’s very important to me that I use all of the products that I sell. Many other products have been brought to me over the years that I turned down because something about them didn’t work for me. Again, I have too good of a relationship with my audience to deceive them in any way. I will not get involved with anything I do not fully believe in. If I like the products and think they work, I can be secure in telling my audience the same.

When the product trial arrived at our house, I suddenly had some reservations. It wasn’t that I didn’t like what I had heard, I was simply nervous about trying something new on my skin. I had to be on camera and didn’t want to risk an adverse reaction or some noticeable side effect. The package sat in the kitchen for three weeks. Helmut kept cajoling me to give it a try, but I was too afraid.

One afternoon, Helmut appeared in the kitchen looking more radiant than I had ever seen him. His skin looked really great. The improvement was immediately noticeable. He told me he had given Youthful Essence a try. I liked the results I saw with my husband, so I finally agreed to try it, too. I had no adverse reaction at all, and after one use, my skin was really glowing. When Helmut saw me he couldn’t believe how smooth my skin looked. That told me everything I needed to know. I informed the people at Guthy-Renker that I would happily be a part of this journey to help women have brighter, smoother, healthier-looking skin. After having sold close to eight million units worldwide, I’d say we’re on to something!

Sitting in the makeup chair is an intimate experience. Anyone who has ever gotten that close to my face can see every line, discoloration, change in texture, and even the scar above my eye that is a reminder of going through the windshield of my former boyfriend’s car. When I had surgery after that accident, I was told there might be some long-term effects from the impact and subsequently from the healing. As I got older, the cartilage on the inside of my nose grew thicker, making the outside of my nose look constantly swelled. My nose had never been perfect before I went through the windshield and it wasn’t perfect after either. As time went on, I began developing some difficulty breathing through my nose. The doctors told me they could thin out the thickening areas, which would allow me to breathe easier. Although I didn’t do anything drastic, I decided to have a minor reshaping to alleviate the discomfort I was having and as a precaution for problems down the road. Although the procedure changed the appearance of my nose, the difference was only slight, which I was so grateful for. I didn’t want to take away from the gifts that God had given me, and best of all, I could actually breathe again!

By now you know my hair has been the subject of several moments throughout my life. As my career has spanned over four decades, my hair and I have survived every fad, look, cut, color, and style from the seventies, eighties, nineties, and the two-thousands. You can look back on my career and tell what decade we were in simply by noting the style of my hair. I was definitely never afraid to try new looks. As much as I don’t want to admit this, I actually liked my big eighties hair…a lot. I was so sad when I woke up one day and was told that big hair was over! However, when I see photos from those days, I can honestly say that my hair could not possibly have been any bigger. It was borderline ridiculous! What was I thinking?

Looking back now, I do regret my decision to get a perm. I already had naturally curly hair. After my perm, my hair was so big that I was giving Don King a run for his money. I remember my mother looking at me and saying, “Oh, Susan. Why did you do that?”—using a tone that only a mother can use to make one feel like they are a teenager all over again. Thankfully, the stylists at the show were able to save me from myself by blowing out my hair. And when I did let my hair go curly, they were there to reel it in.