All I Have to Give (40 page)

As they left the church and the bells rang out, filling the air with joy, and the rice rained down on them, Ada thought she would burst with happiness. Looking around she
caught sight of Rene. Eeh, if only Rene could find a nice man. But there were so few to choose from and Rene seemed settled into her work. She worked as a sister in Shepherd’s Bush Military
Hospital where Edith also worked. It must seem to them that the war hasn’t ended, she thought, as they tend to those badly wounded that still need their care. Rene came over and held her,
wishing her congratulations. Annie was with her, holding on tightly to little Brendan’s hand. ‘Ma, ma, me want up.’

‘Ha, Brendan, lad, I can’t pick you up, it would ruin all me finery.’

‘Huh! If she don’t pick you up, I will, lad!’

Beryl! Ada couldn’t believe her eyes. How did she get here? Had the asylum let her come on her own;

‘Beryl, lass. Eeh, it’s nice to see thee. Ada said as you weren’t able to come. Glad you changed your mind. Now, you’ve not much on and look cold, so I’ll get you a
lift sorted to Jimmy’s Hope House, eh?’

‘I’m going nowhere, Joe. Eeh, you’ve got some side. Murdering her husband and then marrying her. Still, she’d not get anyone else, whore that she is. You know that she
went with my Bill, don’t you? Well, she did. He told me he had her on the kitchen floor. Well, I reckon that’s best place for her!’

Joe looked shocked. Ada had never told him about the rape. She hadn’t wanted him upset; he’d enough on his plate. Avoiding his eyes, she looked at her sister. ‘Beryl, lass,
don’t do this. Not today. I’m glad as you’ve changed your mind and come to be with us. But don’t make a scene. Please.’

‘Scene! What else am I to do when you stole me babby and had me man, eh?’

Beryl lunged towards Brendan as she said this, but Annie was too quick for her and grabbed the little tot and held on to him. ‘If yer try to lay an ’and on ’im, you’ll
’ave me to contend with,’ she said.

Beryl hesitated. Others began to stand in front of Annie and Brendan. Looking from one to another, Beryl looked like a frightened, cornered animal.

‘Come on, love. Let Joe sort you a seat in one of the cars. You’ll be warmer. And if you promise to calm down, you can come to the wedding breakfast. I’ll take you to
Annie’s house and get you something to wear. Come on.’

‘I don’t want to, our Ada. I want Mam. Mam. MAM!’

It was a pitiful cry and one that wrenched Ada’s heart.

Edith moved forward, speaking in gentle tones that held authority. ‘Beryl, I will take care of you. Now, nothing is going to happen to you, and you can choose what you want to do.
I’ll take you back to your hospital or on to the wedding breakfast. I won’t leave you until you feel safe.’

‘I’ll come too, Beryl. I’ll help to take care of you. I’m Sister Rene, and this lady is Doctor Edith. We will look after you. Come along with us.’

Beryl’s body seemed to fold as she slumped to the ground. ‘I want me mam.’

‘Yes, we know you do. Now, take my arm with this hand, and Sister Rene’s with your other one. That’s it. Now, stand up, but keep hold of us.’ Once Beryl was standing,
Edith turned to Jay. ‘Jay, can we take your driver, and you and Eloise go in with Laurent?’ Jay said that would be fine, and Edith turned to Ada. ‘Don’t worry, Ada. Try to
carry on as you would have done. Beryl will be fine. We will be with you as soon as we can.’

Ada could only nod. The action spilled a tear from her, but she wiped it away. Her heart wanted to go with Beryl, but, to her immense pain, she had to accept that if she made a move to do so, it
would upset her sister again. In Beryl’s tangled mind, Ada knew that she looked on her as the cause of everything that had dragged her down.

As the car pulled away, a hand rested on Ada’s arm. Turning, she looked into the lovely, kind eyes of Eloise. ‘We have a wedding breakfast to get under way. Come on, beautiful bride.
Lead the way.’

With a heavy heart, Ada took the hand Joe offered and went towards the gleaming Rolls-Royce. Once her body had sunk into the deep leather seat, Joe climbed in next to her. ‘Well, Mrs
Grinsdale, that were a good start! Now I don’t want you worrying about what Beryl said – none of it. I can imagine the circumstances, and I love you more than anything for shielding me
and coping with that. Eeh, there’s nowt like a fracas at a wedding – good old northern tradition that!’

She couldn’t help but smile. ‘Aye, we’ll show these southerners how it’s done, eh?’

‘That’s the spirit. Now, try to put it behind you. Everyone knows that Beryl is not well in her mind. None of them are going to hold what happened against you.’

‘Oh, Joe, will she ever be well? Will she ever stop thinking of me as someone that ruined her life?’

‘You never know, lass. It could happen. But if it doesn’t, it’s one more cross we have to bear, and we’ve borne a lot worse.’

‘We have, Joe. As everyone has. You’re reet. Let’s put it behind us. No matter what, we’ll allus support Beryl as much as she’ll let us. And we’ll work
towards the day when she is well again.’

‘Good, lass. Now. How about you give your husband a kiss?’

It was a kiss Ada had thought would never happen. All the years they’d loved one another they’d never shared a kiss, not a real one – one that was their right to take and give.
With it a warmth came into Ada that blocked out all she’d been through. It unlocked her heart to the possibility of hope: hope for the future, and hope for herself and Joe and little Brendan.
From now on they could build a life together, one never again to be shadowed by war.

She wished she could make things right for everyone. She wished that the scars cut deep into people’s souls could heal; and that Edith, especially Edith, could be reunited with her little
ones. Something Edith had once said told her there was no possibility of her having any other babbies, as her marriage wasn’t likely to be consummated. That was what Ada would call a deep
love – a love that had to be platonic, and yet was so strong the couple were bound together forever. Poor Edith. Poor Laurent.
Please, God, bring little Elka and Ania home to them. Make
their lives complete. They have done everything they can for their country, and for those hurt by war. It’s time they had sommat in return.

Leaving this prayer behind her, Ada turned her attention to Joe. Her Joe. Her man. A happiness settled in her like she hadn’t felt for a long, long time. Leaning towards him, she pursed
her lips again. But just before his lips touched hers, she whispered, ‘I love you, Joe.’

First and foremost I would like to acknowledge Nicholas Fothergill, owner of the beautiful, historic stately home Stanford Hall, near Lutterworth, Leicestershire. An English
Heritage building, the house was built between 1697 and 1700 by William Smith for Sir Roger Cave. Nicholas Fothergill is a descendant of Sir Roger. Stanford Hall, besides being Nicholas’s
home, is now also a stunning venue for many events held in its grounds and in the house. I am honoured that Nicholas allowed me to model the country home and estate of my fictional Mellor family on
Stanford Hall. Thank you.

And a special thank you to two wonderful ladies, my editor at Pan Macmillan, Louise Buckley, and my literary agent, Judith Murdoch. You are both always there for me, and your belief in me
supports and helps me more than you can know.

I further thank Louise, along with Laura Carr and the rest of her team, for their sensitive editing of my novel – the difference you make is amazing. Thank you.

Thank you too to my beloved daughter Christine Martin and son James Wood, for reading and rereading my manuscripts. Your advice on what is and what isn’t working as the manuscript develops
is invaluable.

And to my much-loved nephew, Chris Olley. For your knowledgeable input on the First World War, I am truly grateful.

To ‘Gungeek’ on YouTube, thank you for answering my questions on cordite with such in-depth knowledge of your subject.

And to my dear friends Pat and Den Payne, who have a knowledge of the areas of London. When I told them the type of setting I needed for the London homes of my fictional Mellor family, they took
me to Holland Park and there I found the perfect location. Thank you too to my dear friend Jacqueline Lacey for your help with the few French phrases used in the book.

And, as always, my heartfelt thanks to my beautiful family. To my darling husband, Roy. To our children, Christine, Julie, Rachel and James, and their husbands/ partners, Nick, Ed, Rick and
Scott. To all our grandchildren and great-grandchildren. To my Olley and Wood families. You all bring me joy; you support me and enrich my life. You climb mountains by my side and catch me if I
fall. I love you all with a special love.

If you enjoyed
All I Have to Give
then turn the page to read an extract from
An Unbreakable Bond
, the second novel in the Breckton series, coming soon. The first
book in the Breckton series,
To Catch a Dream
, is out now

Megan and Hattie’s footsteps echoed as they walked down the draughty, stone-walled corridor towards the Reverend Mother’s office. Within feet of it, Megan paused
and motioned Hattie towards the internal window. Using this as a mirror, they checked their appearances, making sure their grey serge frocks were crease-free and their stiff white collars
immaculate.

With shaking hands Megan tried to tuck the stray, unruly locks of her auburn hair under her mobcap. As soon as she tamed one curl, another escaped. Hattie giggled at her
attempts. Megan made a face at her. ‘It’s all right for you.’ Hattie’s smooth dark hair always looked neat, for next to no effort. Giving up the battle, Megan knocked on the
door.

‘Enter!’

Reverend Mother’s tone cracked Megan’s already frayed nerves. Hattie squeezed her hand.

The moment she placed her foot on the carpet and smelt the wax polish, the small comfort of Hattie’s gesture dissolved. The deep carpet and clean scent contrasted starkly with the cold
flagstone floors and the stench of carbolic soap and boiled cabbage that permeated the quarters the girls shared with all the other born-of-sin and orphaned children.

As they waited to be acknowledged, Megan’s eyes fixed on the butterfly wings of stiff white linen cascading from each side of the Reverend Mother’s bent head. The sudden lifting of
the head made her jump. She tugged Hattie’s frock, bringing her attention back from looking around the room in awe.

‘Well, Megan Tattler and Hattie Frampton, you are now thirteen years of age and you are to leave us. And I don’t have to ask to know how pleased you both are, do I?’

Neither of them answered, but Megan thought that if she were to respond, it wouldn’t be to say she was pleased. Not altogether pleased, as both she and Hattie were deeply saddened at the
thought of being separated.

‘Hattie, you go later today, I understand – and, Megan, you are to leave tomorrow.’ The Reverend Mother’s eyes, shrouded by a brow that was squashed into a bulge by her
veil, darted between them. Her smile caused her face to look pinched as she continued, ‘Now, Hattie, I see you have a very fitting placement as a scullery maid in the household of Lord
Marley’s country residence. Very good! Are you prepared?’

‘Yes, Reverend Mother, but . . .’

‘No “buts”, Hattie. Lord Marley is one of our benefactors and has given many of our girls a good start in life by providing them with jobs. It’s up to you to make
something of yourself.’

‘Yes, Reverend Mother.’

‘Good! So, Megan, it seems to me you think you can take up a placement far above your station. It is unheard of – someone of such low status becoming an apprenticed
seamstress!’

The insult, and the look that went with it, caused Megan’s hopes to freeze.

‘However, Sister Bernadette has been very persistent on your behalf. And, although aware of the sinful circumstances of your birth, Madame Marie is still inclined to give you a chance. I
have therefore had to give the proposal due consideration, and I am persuaded to approve it, after seeing what Madame has written in her letter to me. She states that she is taking you on merit,
because you show exceptional talent in the drawings and the sample of stitches shown to her by Sister Bernadette. But she makes it clear that you will be expected to know your place, and to keep it
at all times. You are not to try to engage with any of the young ladies who are training there and you will have a room in the attic away from the others. Do you understand?’

‘Yes, Reverend Mother.’

‘I hope you do.’

Megan struggled to hold down the joy surging through her. She stood still, head held high as was befitting and polite. She knew that Reverend Mother, aggrieved at having allowed her to take up
the apprenticeship, would take it away from her if she gave her any excuse to do so.

The wings of the Reverend Mother’s veil crackled as she inclined her head. ‘You are dismissed. But remember, what you make of yourselves is up to you. If you work hard and stay true
to the teaching you have received here, you will prosper.’ The pinched smile had reached her eyes as she continued, ‘If you don’t, then the gutter is where you will find
yourselves, as many have before you.’

They turned to leave. The woman whose care they had been under since birth did not even say goodbye. Megan didn’t want her to, and she knew Hattie would be feeling the same. She turned as
she reached the door, but only the top of the stiff veil remained visible. Megan felt sure that she and Hattie had never really mattered to the Reverend Mother. She closed the door, glad to be free
of the tense atmosphere. Now she could give release to her feelings. But before she had time to, Hattie’s words dulled her joy. ‘Will we ever see each other again, Meg?’

‘Aye, we will. We’ll make sure of it. We’ll write regular. As soon as we get our first wage we can get paper and stamps . . .’

‘I’m not for working in service, Meg. I’ll be off from there just as soon as I can.’