All I Have to Give (38 page)

‘I’m not—’

Ada cut him off as she spotted an older, foreign-looking woman enter, pushing a pram. ‘Eeh, there she is! I’m sure it’s her.’

‘Now you have got me suspicious. I think there is more to this than you wanting to start a group for refugees?’

‘Naw . . . Naw, don’t be daft. I – I were just pleased to see that she had come, after you saying she was afraid when you visited, that’s all. Come on, she’s booked
herself in. Let’s go and chat.’

A look of fear crossed Mrs Tolenski’s face as they approached. Her eyes shifted from Ada to Michael.

Ada’s heart thumped in her chest as she glanced at the twins. Though they had the reddish hair that she believed Albert had had, they looked so like Edith. One of them smiled at her, and
the other glared from under a cross frown. ‘Eeh, they’re bonny.’

Michael said something in Polish to Mrs Tolenski.

Realizing that she was frightening the woman even more, Ada asked Michael to explain her idea.

Mrs Tolenski’s head shook from side to side as Michael spoke, and she clung on tightly to the handle of the large pram. The twins, one sitting at each end, stared at Ada. The one who had
glared started to scream.

‘Elka, you will upset Ania!’

Oh God! Elka and Ania. Eeh, they are Edith’s for sure. But what can I do? What can I do?

‘Are you all right, Ada? Mrs Tolenski is screaming that you are scaring the babies.’

‘What? Oh, yes. Tell her I don’t mean to. By, the young ’un has a grand voice on her – she shocked me!’

As Mrs Tolenski picked up Elka, Ania began to cry, only her little sobs sounded fearful rather than angry.

Ada picked her up and held her to her. ‘There, there. It’s alreet – naw one is going to hurt you.’

Hardly able to believe she was holding Edith’s child in her arms, she had to swallow hard not to let her emotions get the better of her. Panic shook any trace of them away, as Mrs Tolenski
put Elka back in the pram and grabbed Ania. Though she didn’t understand the words she said, Ada knew the woman intended to leave.

‘Tell her she must stay. Michael, tell her . . . tell her!’

‘But . . .’

‘Do it, Michael: tell her it is the law!’ Past caring what he thought, Ada only knew that she must keep them here, and that she must gain the woman’s confidence.

Sitting back down with a look of defeat, Mrs Tolenski dabbed at her eyes with a rag she’d fetched from her pocket.

‘Ada, that was bad form. What’s going on?’

‘Nothing. I’m sorry. I just felt that I had scared her away. Eeh, Michael, I couldn’t have that on me conscience – these babbies need us.’

‘Look, I’ll talk to her for a moment. Explain that you only want to be her friend and help her with the children. You leave us for a minute and, if she is willing to talk to you,
then I will fetch you.’

Knowing that he was right, but finding it difficult to lose sight of the children, Ada moved away.

Half an hour passed before Michael came to her. ‘I couldn’t find you. I never thought to look by the entrance! What
is
your intention: to barricade them in or something?
What is going on, Ada?’

‘Eeh, Michael, I can’t say, but I need your help. I need to stop them leaving the country, at least for a few weeks.’

He stared in astonishment and disbelief. ‘How am I going to do that?’

‘Is she still saying that she is going?’

‘Ada, I am losing my patience with you and will speak to Lady Eloise about this. There is something dreadfully wrong, for you to be behaving like this.’

A feeling of despair came over her. Edith would be disgraced if her secret got out, so Ada would have to make something up. ‘I’m being silly. I just have a funny feeling about those
twins. As soon as I heard about them, I thought of me friend back home. Her husband was killed, and the shock and distress caused her to lose her twin babbies. They came too early and died at
birth. I thought that if Mrs Tolenski couldn’t cope, I could get me friend to adopt them, and the Tolenskis could still be their grandparents; they could all help each other.’

‘Of all the ridiculous notions, Ada! Mrs Tolenski loves those babies and lives in fear of anyone taking them off her. She would never agree to such a plan.’

Ada’s despair deepened and she could think of nothing to say.

Sensing this, Michael said, ‘Sorry, old thing, but it just isn’t on. Oh, here they come. Now don’t go upsetting her. She was quite happy by the time I had settled her, and she
went in to see the doctor without a murmur.’

Standing close to the wall, Ada waited for Mrs Tolenski to reach the exit. When she did, she smiled a friendly smile. ‘Was everything alreet with the babbies?’

To Michael’s interpretation, the woman smiled back and nodded, saying in English, ‘Thank you, yes’ and then switched to Polish, which Michael told Ada meant, ‘Her little
darlings were very healthy, and she was grateful for the help and the vaccinations.’

Smiling widely at her, Ada thought to get a better response by doing as the woman had done and speaking directly to her, rather than to Michael. ‘I wondered if I could call on you and help
you out? I have a little boy. He is a little older, about a month or so, and it would be good for them to play together.’

The woman’s reply, given through Michael, was disappointing. ‘No, that is not possible. We can’t understand what you say, and I don’t want to confuse the children. We
will be leaving very soon for Poland. Thank you very much, but no.’

Ada felt as though she had a lead weight in her chest at having let Edith down. She watched the woman walk away. There was nothing she could do.
Nothing!

Trying to allay Michael’s concern, she turned to him and said, ‘Well, you win some and you lose some.’ It was a flippant remark that didn’t speak of how she felt at all,
or of the determination inside her to get those babies back to Edith. Somehow she would find a way of keeping the Tolenskis here as she felt sure that, once Edith received her letter, she would
come home and claim the girls as rightfully hers.

Abbeville, late October 1917
An acceptance of life

‘Edith, we must talk. You’re worn out. Every night for weeks and weeks now you’ve sat by Captain Pevensy. You’re not getting your rest, and I have to
tell you that we must now send him to the French Military Hospital in Shaftesbury Avenue, London. It is where we send all our special cases. He is fit to travel and needs more than we can
offer.’

Edith knew that what the French matron was saying to her was true. Laurent had made many improvements in the four weeks since he had arrived, even though he remained very ill.

Laurent looked up at her. Still only able to say a few words, he mouthed, ‘I love you.’

She smiled through her tears. ‘I know. I will not abandon you, my darling. I will travel with you.’

His face lit up.

She didn’t feel any concern about leaving; during her long absence the team had taken on new doctors and had reshuffled their responsibilities. It wasn’t that she wasn’t
needed, more that she wouldn’t be missed too much, as there was a full team without her.

Seeing a smile on the matron’s face, Edith asked, ‘You understood what we said to each other?’

At the matron’s nod, a little laugh escaped Edith as she voiced her thoughts. ‘You French are amazing. If I had said that in a British hospital, I would be in trouble for
fraternizing!’

‘Ah, but we French love lovers. I will leave you a while and go and make the final arrangements.’

Turning back to Laurent, Edith told him, ‘I’m glad this day has arrived. There is something I haven’t told you yet; nor have we broached the subject of my true status when I
met you. I only know that you at last received my first letter to you, and you gave me no indication that its contents changed things between us.’

His eyes closed and he shook his head. The gesture told her it didn’t matter to him. When he opened his eyes she read compassion there and felt emboldened to continue. She chose to speak
in English, in the hope that the soldiers around them wouldn’t understand, and told him of her pain at finding that the Tolenskis had moved and taken her children.

‘But I have had a letter which gives me hope that they are in England! I don’t know why the Tolenskis have done this, but it is important for me to catch up with them and claim my
girls back.’

His attempt at a smile tore at her and made her feel sad. She looked away, determined not to show her distress. Laurent had not yet seen what had happened to his beautiful face. It would be a
shock to him, but there was hope it could be repaired; at least she was sure the gaping hole could be covered and, though scarred, wouldn’t look so distressing.

As soon as she arrived in England she would contact her dear friend, Wilfred Young. They had done their basic training together as surgeons, and he had gone on to specialize in plastic surgery.
He now worked in Cambridge Military Hospital, where his expertise was used to help disfigured soldiers returning from the war. She knew he would be able to help Laurent.

Saying her goodbyes to Connie, Nancy, Jennifer and Mark had become an emotional affair. All knew that Edith wouldn’t be returning this time. From what they said, they
imagined that she intended devoting her life to Laurent. There was nothing for her to deny in this, but part of her wanted to tell these wonderful friends the truth. Not being able to do so left
her feeling a little out of the close-knit circle they had formed.

She had, however, told them about her charity, and they had all spoken of a reunion once this bloody war was over. Connie and Nancy thought they might like to work for her charity.
‘That’s if the pay’s right. I’m done with being an angel of mercy. I’m going to line me pockets when I get home and set meself up proper,’ said Connie. Then
Nancy had said, ‘Well, I don’t care about money. I just hope there’s a bloke waiting somewhere for me. I’m not for being a spinster. I want a proper life with kids and all
of that!’

This had deepened her own feelings of longing: longing for Laurent to get well, longing to be reunited with her little girls and even deeper still, a longing for the day to come when she could
marry Laurent and they could adopt the twins and become a proper family, without the scandal of their birth ever getting out.

The ship looked magnificent. A liner, HMS
Opulous,
had been commandeered as a hospital ship at the beginning of the war and had served well. Her interior still
displayed the grandeur of her intended working life, showing the luxury of an age Edith thought would never return.

There had been no objection to Edith travelling with her patient, though settling him in had been taken over by the medical staff, leaving her to wander around the ship and find her cabin. She
found that she was sharing with an Irish nurse, a bubbly girl who lifted her spirits. ‘It’s nice to meet you, Doctor. I’m Helen. I’m from Belfast, where it is sure that the
girls are all beautiful and the men are as hopeless as the day they were born.’

Laughing out loud, Edith said, ‘Pleased to meet you too. Are you working today?’

‘I am that. I’m on duty in an hour, when we sail. We are doing the first bit in shifts as it is very tiring. The staff who do the reception of the patients need a break as soon as
that is done. I’ll be on duty at twelve noon, till we dock in around three hours’ time. We’ll not be far offshore by then.’

‘Well, here’s to a safe crossing.’

Within half an hour Edith was by Laurent’s side again. His face showed the strain of the journey. ‘Try to sleep, darling. It only takes a little under three hours to reach
Southampton. Then an ambulance will take you to London. I’ll come to you just as soon as I can.’

The journey had gone without a hitch and Laurent had been made comfortable. It was a wrench to leave him, but Edith had a pressing need: to get to Jimmy’s Hope House and
see Ada.

One look at Ada’s face told of bad news. After coming out of her welcome hug, Edith held her at arm’s length and asked, ‘What is it? Has anything happened?’

‘There’s no easy way of telling you, Miss Edith, but they’re gone.’

‘Gone? Gone where?’

‘Eeh, I don’t knaw. Mrs Tolenski told Michael – he’s a bloke as works for Lady Eloise’s charity and speaks languages – that they were planning to go to
Poland. But I reckon, with how things are, they would find that an almost impossible task. I’m sorry. I tried to keep them here. I visited them and tried to make friends with Mrs Tolenski,
taking her food parcels and gifts for the babbies, but it didn’t make any difference.’

Edith backed onto the chaise longue in the window and plonked herself down. Her legs wouldn’t hold her any longer, as the shock had ricocheted through her. Looking around the office to
which she had summoned Ada, it was as if she was looking for something to anchor her, as her body took the full blow of this news.

‘By, I’m reet sorry, Miss Edith. I wish I had different news to tell. I’ve done all I can to find out sommat about where they’ve gone, but those living in the flats the
Tolenskis were staying in are a close-knit bunch and no one would tell me owt.’

‘It’s not your fault, Ada. Oh God, my girls – my babies are gone again.’

‘I don’t knaw how you’re to cope with this, Miss Edith, but I do knaw as you can. You’re strong, and you have your young man who needs you.’

‘I won’t cope, Ada – not ever. This pain is too deep ever to be reconciled with. I have no one to turn to. I can’t hire an investigator, for fear of the truth coming out.
I can’t go looking myself. Why? Why did they do this? They knew my intentions. They knew I would return. Oh God, it is unbearable.’

Ada’s look of worry deepened. She crossed the room. Somehow it didn’t feel as if she was taking liberties as she sat beside Edith and took her hand. They had shared pain before. They
were friends.

There was very little comfort in the gesture, but what little there was Edith would hold on to. She would throw herself into this charity and fighting for the rights of women, a cause still
close to her heart; but most of all, she would concentrate her efforts on getting Laurent whole again, and their future together. That would bring her happiness. A marred happiness, but happiness
all the same.