Against All Odds (31 page)

Cali raises her brows. “Didn’t you see my sexy self sitting here when you swung open the door, you big broody man?” She giggles. “Seriously, you guys are hot together. I’m burning up over here.”

“Jesus, Cali! Stop already,” Kylie blurts, unable to stop laughing. “What happened to your club guy? Is he no longer doing it for you?”

Cali groans, her head tipping back. “I can’t go there right now. Not with that”—she points at me—“grizzly bear in the room. Apparently he came for some honey.” She smirks at Kylie.

“You’re one crazy chick,” I say with a laugh. I look at Kylie and smirk. “I didn’t mean to come in and maul you in front of your friend.” She blushes, and I turn to Cali. “You tell her about tonight?”

“Nope, not yet.”

“What’s going on tonight?” Kylie asks.

“Your Sex God got us tickets to see JT and Jay Z last minute,” Cali squeals. “It’s girls’ night, Coco.”

“What?” Kylie’s voice gets quiet. “Why would you do that?”

I glance at Kylie, noticing the unease that settles across her body. I turn back to Cali. “Can you give us a minute?”

“Yeah, of course.” She looks at Ky. “It’s going to be fun, love. Don’t worry, okay?”

Kylie says nothing. The door closes, and the air tenses. “You don’t want to spend the night with me?” she asks.

“No, that’s not it. I need to take care of something, and I wanted to keep you busy. I didn’t want you sitting at home worrying.”

“What are you going to do?” she asks.

“I’m meeting Gray. We have some stuff we need to work out.” I keep my eyes on hers to gauge her reaction.

Shock punches from her face. “And I can’t come with you?”

“You said you’d stay out of it,” I remind her.

“I did, but maybe I changed my mind.”

“I’m sorry, Ky, but that’s not happening.”

She huffs an annoyed breath, and my insides burn again. I try to stay calm. “When was the last time you talked to him?” I ask, trying to keep jealousy at bay and my tone non-threatening.

Her eyes narrow for just for a second, and I know she’s talked to him today. I see it all over her face. My senses reel, nearly catching on fire.

“You mean, talk to him in person?” she asks, fidgeting.

“In person. On the phone. Through text. When was the last time you talked to him?”

I watch her carefully for signs that she’s lying. Layla’s words burn through me, twisting my stomach.

“The night I left the condo was the last I saw him.” Her voice comes out soft. “He’s texted me a bit, and I’ve answered, but we haven’t said much.”

“When was the last text he sent you?”

She looks out the window, and her body stiffens. “This morning. He sent me a quick message to say hi.”

Fucking bastard.
“Can I see them?”

“Why?” She turns back to look at me.

Why do I want to see them? Because I need to know what game the fucker’s playing. He’s in love with Kylie. His sights are set on her, and I’m about to lay fucking claim to something that’s already mine. “Let me see them, Kylie!”

“Cooper, they’re nothing bad. Nothing has happened between us. Can’t you just believe me?”

“I’m sorry. Trust has to be earned. It isn’t something I can give out like pieces of candy anymore. I have to earn yours like you do mine.”

She looks at me with sadness and grabs her phone. She hands it to me, her hands trembling. I look at her, wishing we didn’t have to have discussions like this.

“Hey, eyes to mine,” I say, my voice gentle. “Everything’s okay, all right? I’m just trying to figure this out. I’m not upset. I love you.”

Her gaze drops from mine as she sits in her chair. I open the texts and see numerous ones from Grayson. What hits me is the way Ky has him labeled on her phone: My G Man. It’s like she’s put a stamp on him as hers. Hurt and betrayal surge through me, but I stop the destructive feelings blazing through my chest and scroll through the texts. I see one dated this morning.

G: Hey, sweet cheeks. I miss you. Come see me, please? I know you’re figuring things out. I won’t pressure you. I just need to touch your face, see you and make sure you’re okay.

K: G, I miss you, too. But it’s not a good time right now. I’ll fill you in later.

G: What’s going on? Where have you been? I haven’t seen you at all.

K: I’m trying to work my life out, Gray. I need time.

G: I’ll give you time. I’d give you the world, if you’d let me. I’m always here. You know that. You don’t have to do this alone, Ky.

K: I’m not doing it alone.

G: Are you back with Cooper?

K: Yes. I hope.

G: Kylie…

K: You know I love him.

G: I know you do and it kills me. He’s going to hurt you. I’ve seen it too many times and I’m sick of it. He doesn’t deserve you, sweet cheeks.

K: Just give us space.

G: I don’t think I can do that anymore.

K: I know you don’t want to, but it’s what we need.

G: He doesn’t deserve you.

K: That’s not true. I don’t deserve him.

G: You deserve better.

K: Why are you telling me this?

G: Why do you think, Kylie?

K: Idk. That’s why I’m asking.

G: You know why.

K: Cooper says you’re in love with me…

G: He’s right. I am and I want you, but you know that…

K: I can’t

G: Give me a chance

K: Gray…

G: Kylie, please…I can make you happy.

My hand trembles as I read his last text. Betrayal—thick, hot, and as dark as molasses—bleeds from me. Kylie stares at me intently, tears welling in her eyes. Her shoulders are quivering. I’m so fucking angry.

“I don’t want him like that,” she whispers. “I don’t know why he’s doing this. It’s not like him.”

“He’s in love with you. I told you that this morning. I also asked you to let me handle him,” I breathe, pissed at this whole situation. “Why did you message him back?”

“I don’t know… I guess I felt bad.” She answers, nervously.

“Do you have feelings for him?” I’m being crazy, but I can’t tap down this overwhelming urge to know the truth. I can’t close this subject in my head. It’s overtaking me.

Her throat moves as she swallows, her chest heaving as she weighs her response. My heart surges in rapid spurts, and adrenaline saturates every ounce of my body. I feel as if I can’t breathe. Something tells me she’s lying.

“Cooper…” A tear trickles down her cheek.

“Answer the fucking question, Kylie,” I whisper, desperately trying to keep myself from slamming her against the wall so I can fuck him out of her system.

“Of course I do,” she says, her eyes turned down. “He’s my best friend. He was there for me every day you weren’t. He’s helped me when I wanted to die. It’s been two long years, Cooper.” Her face begs for understanding. “When we left the hospital, he didn’t leave my side. He’s made an effort to be there for me, and I took that from him because I needed it. I know you don’t want to hear this, and I really don’t want to say it, because I just got you back.”

Her eyes lower to the hands she has tangled in her lap. “I know everything about Grayson. I’ve opened up to him, told him some of my darkest secrets, things I couldn’t carry on my own. It’s hard to just cut him off.” She lifts her eyes to mine. The look behind them snatches the air from my lungs. “Do I have feelings for him? What do you think? Honestly, what do you think? You’re setting me up. You know I have feelings for him. How can I not? The thing is… the feelings I have for Gray pale in comparison to the ones I have for you.”

She trembles and stands in front of me. “I love you. I’m addicted to you. Sometimes that love borders on toxic. I require you like blood, like air. It’s not normal, and it hasn’t been since the moment you hit me with those emerald eyes that have infiltrated every part of my body.” She lays her shaky hand on my cheek. “You-you make me want to live, but you’ve made me want to die too. You’ve hurt me, Cooper. There have been times where that hurt was so powerful I felt it everywhere. Gray’s been there. He held me and listened to me cry. Do you really want me to be honest?” she whispers, her eyes drowning with raw pain. “Have I fallen for him? Do I have feelings for him? Yes. But Cooper, this is not a competition. I love you more than anything in the world. You have to know that. Please, please don’t make this something it’s not. I beg of you.”

My heart wrenches in pain, every artery severing in my chest. I feel raw, exposed, and vulnerable. I know she loves me, but I’m infected with a sickening venom. I’m stained by the blood of my child and a guilt so deep-seated that it’s transformed into self-loathing. I’m so fucking mad that our lives were stolen from us by my immature decisions. My choices are responsible for tearing apart my marriage.

I’m angry I couldn’t perform and Kylie couldn’t wait, that I couldn’t talk it out. It’s killing me that I couldn’t bring my child back from the dead. I’m pissed that I hurt her so deeply that she turned to someone else. I’m tormented that I bruised her with my words, tore through her defenses with my actions, and crippled her with my silence. I’m enraged, and I don’t know where to put these volcanic, destructive thoughts. How do I do this? God help me, how do I respond without damaging her further? How do I contain the monster growing within me, ensnaring the man I used to be?

“Kylie, I’m sorry. I’m going to fix us. I swear.” I grab her face, pleading with her. “I don’t know where to put him in our lives, and I don’t know how to accept that he’s been there and I haven’t. I don’t know how to take in the fact that you feel anything for him. That somewhere inside of you, you could actually…” I close my eyes, my blood rushing like tremors before an earthquake. My thoughts are swallowing me. “That you could actually love him.”

I open my eyes and gaze at my wife. She lifts a shaky hand and places it on my cheek. Her warmth does nothing to take away the chill infiltrating my bones.

“Don’t do this to yourself,” she whispers. “What I feel for him is nothing like what I feel for you. He could never, ever take your place.” She drags her hand from my cheek and grips my hair. “Do you feel this? You have to feel this.” She places my palm of over her heart and lays hers on top of mine. “This right here? It’s yours. Only yours. I’ve shared my body, I’ve shared parts of my mind, but I have never, not once, shared my heart with another man. You, only you, have owned it. Do you hear me?”

Her confession shakes me. Tears force their way down my cheeks betraying me, showing her my weakness. A broken man stands before her.

“Don’t give up on us,” I beg. “Let me sort him out. Please. I need you to give me time.”

Her eyes turn gentle with compassion. “I’m not giving up on you ever again. Never again. I’m sorry for betraying you. The men, they took what I gave them, but you, my sweet husband, have always been the key to my life. Now that I have you back, now that I’ve found my source of water and food, I’m not starving. I love you. Now, yesterday… forever.”

I pull her against me and hold her tight. I love her so much it hurts. I want to sweep us up and carry us away, but I don’t know how. How do I heal a marriage when I’m broken? Am I just too fucked up for the both of us? I don’t know, but I can’t give up. I’m going to fight with every fiber of my being. She’s worth every minute of torture.

“Let me take care of him tonight,” I whisper. “Let me figure this out, and stay away from him for right now, Kylie. Please, just do this one thing for me.”

“I’m not going anywhere. It was just a text, but I’ll cut all contact until you figure out how to handle him. It’s okay, Cooper.”

We stay quiet for a minute, trying to calm down. I absorb her warmth.

After a moment, she pulls back. “How did things go with Layla?”

I sigh. “I talked to her.”

“And?” she whispers.

“It was rough, but it’s done.”

She eyes me carefully. She doesn’t say anything, but I know she expects me to go on.

“I told her we’re done,” I continue. “She was hurt, but she eventually let it go. She’s no longer working here.”

“She just gave up?” she asks.

I make sure to choose the right words. “She had some choice words with me, but there wasn’t much to give up. We were never anything. She knew that.”

She touches my cheek and closes her eyes. My eyes move over her face. I see her take a breath and release it. She opens them and smiles weakly.

“We’re a fucked up pair,” she murmurs.

I laugh and kiss her cheek. “We are. But we have each other. Even lost, we’ve had each other.”

“Yeah, I guess. Will you call me when you get to Grayson’s? I want to make sure you’re all right.”

“I can do that.” I smile. “I love you, Kylie.”